For Not The First Or Second Time Someone Has Found A Loved One Inside Me A Yearning For Me To Hold Their

Close your eyes, I'm in the corner of your mind, The corner you see in your Peripheral vision but hardly look at. I'm in the shadows with a match, The flame that crackles and sizzles And sparks, burning lower Until the tiny coals go out Between my finger tips. I'm the light that shines When you can't always see.

Close your arms, I'm the warm, solid Scarred and healed Body that fits between your limbs Like the smallest Of the nesting dolls. I'm the familiar smell of Sweat and sage, unwashed And a little greasy, I'm the familiar sensation you can feel In bed when you lay awake at night, The last breath before sleep.

Don't close your heart, We've both been hurt, Dragged across the street And unknowingly scratched up By one another. I am your inner child's teddy bear, The one that's missing an eye With a bit of stuffing coming out. We are the animals we keep on pillows When we are old When we are bit more gentle, When we have the thread To sew up the torn parts. When we don't need to be Perfect anymore.

Ocean, I have a confession to make. I am just a small bird, a very small bird, You are endless and vast, How can I tell you I love you?

I have fallen in love with you deeply, As deep as your floors, your trenches; But you are so grand and I, Well I am just a bird, would you wave me off?

I have this fragile, mortal body And I am jealous of your infinite waters. How could you ever love me back When I exist for just one of your moments?

I am standing, twig legged, at your shore, I am watching the clouds kiss your horizon And I have never felt smaller, yet I am drowning in my adoration of you.

Since we are being vulnerable, And my feelings are likely unrequited, May I ask, Ocean, who is it you love? For whom does your body ebb and flow?

"Please stay" He begged and started to cry I gathered my things "Please just try"

I couldn't be his Not anyone's I've tried this before More than once

"I love you" He told me at the door I said nothing back What would hurt more?

I drove away And missed all his calls I wished I'd felt something Anything at all

"You'll never see me again" He threatened But his words were a gift Not a weapon

Floating on my back Naked in the water I made a promise to The clouds above To never ask about their father

The sky turns gray And I feel cold I give my body to the earth Into her hands to hold One day she may cradle me When I am very old

I see the sun light up Below the horizon Piercing the clouds Warming the land That someday I will die on

Without my clothes I am the planet's creature Flesh and bone And limbs to feature This forest pond is a refuge And the wind's voice my teacher

The light and dark Tides of my life Swelled simultaneously

Waves that lifted me Battered me In their shore break

In my euphoria I waded Through so much pain

And the two have never Separated In their continuum

Ungraceful am I For grieving so publicly Bereaved, forgive me

My dear, are you here? I reach out to you again From the delicate Attachment of my thoughts And you are sensory An actively forming memory

Do we live just once? I can't take the chance Believing we'll live twice Though that hope is nice We can never touch tomorrow And I won't survive on vices

Even when you cannot taste Your favorite kind of tea It is still a soothing friend Tending to you in sickness Wrapping you up in its arms

An ember in my hand Is a small and safe delight It burns of course Palm scarred for life Leave your imprint on me, fire

But place it in the earth And it will tear its way through Scorch the ground and then The trees until there's nothing Left but a smoldering oblivion

As a lover of fire As someone made of flames For this destruction I have only this tearful apology Lost in the blackest smoke

What do they teach In beauty school? How to rearrange A dandelion to make it Worthy of being a flower?

Do you ask the waves To smooth the rocks Because they aren't Pretty enough for Social media pages?

Does a cloudy day Need a makeover? Do you wash trees? And how do you blow Dry them perfectly?