When The Curled Up Cat Stretches Out To Reveal Its Soft Warm Belly And The Heat From Its Fur Rises Up

Pine needle forest floor Afternoon sun through the trees Bunches of wildflowers Hovering bumblebees

The smell of baking bread Hot chocolate in the snow Fire in the hearth Its simple healing glow

Warmth within my bones Favorite memories All the magic in the world What you mean to me

Clear blue skies over the snow caps A calm, the rustle of branches Their snow thudding against the ground snow Thump, says snow, as it falls

Then a cracking sound, not unlike a tree falling A rumbling not unlike an earthquake All the birds take flight at once One black plume of fearful retreating

Shifting, sliding, crashing and rolling Snow is peaceful, it is gentle Until it breaks in the trembling Until the mountains shake it off to bury us

It is a beautiful day as the avalanche forms Serene even, as ice and snow thunders down Or it was, before the gentle thing became a terror Like all of earth which strikes awe, it does strike

Make me a home inside you Build me a room With a lock and a key That you keep on a chain Around your neck

I have been a wandering soul But cage me and keep me With fire and fervor I am yours, I am yours In this room you are mine

Make me a home inside you Build me a room Of blackest obsidian For I am molten I could so easily melt you

Ungraceful am I For grieving so publicly Bereaved, forgive me

I am haunted By a world Where you No longer Exist

I am broken By such an Intense Lack of You

I'll be Venus You be Mars Let's be planets Then be stars Let's be ever Changing colors In a galaxy That's ours If you are darkness I'll be light The day is Always kissing Night We'll become one In the dawn Our heavy bodies Will be gone

I thought we were art The kind that could heal Your paintings abstract My writing surreal Pieces that where honest And made us both feel But I wanted concrete And you've been ideal I look at you and see More than sex appeal Maybe you don't want art Or anything real I'm just another secret Someone new to conceal

Did you think that I would change? That my eyes and nose And lips would rearrange? Did you worry that my kiss Would taste different Or just wouldn't feel the same?

Did you worry I would smell wrong? Like I was new Like you didn't know My pheromones? That my scent wouldn't be as It had been all along?

Did you hear my voice a new way? Did it feel foreign on your ears Like you hadn't heard it Every day? Did the notes in songs I sang Sound cracked and frayed?

Did you think my hands would feel new? That they wouldn't be the ones That knew you? Or you wouldn't want to hold them Maybe you were afraid So you refused to

I would have loved you just the same The way I used my body Wouldn't have changed Unless you wanted me to That same softness would remain I'm still carrying your name I hold our torch And I'm forever carrying our flame

I would live here in my mind if I could If the earthly world did not always snatch me away With its incessant needing and needing Earth, why are you so attached to me?

I am in my mind today, like most days Don't say it is not a place because you can't walk there When your thoughts wander Is it through a desert? A forest? Do you swim?

Everything that has died is alive here Here is my dead friend that I used to kiss, looking well Here is the art I gave up on in frustration Here are the words you said to me in anger The dreams we dreamed together, still breathing

I walk up creaking steps from my stomach to my head The body is such a desperate thing sometimes Always needing validation and hand holding So I would live up here tucked away in the ethereal

Driving through the hills A little after dinner time I speed in the right lane.

"Don't worry," I sound very reassuring, "I know where I'm going."

I need my glasses And I can't admit to him That actually I can't see And I"m a little lost.

He needs some reassurance Which I hand out like mints, Maybe if I sugar coat it He won't know it's a little harsh, A bit too fresh, with a bite.

It's too cold for rain, Too warm for snow So we don't know what's coming down.

But we are. I'm having a panic attack While laughing at his story.

I wan't to turn around, I've missed the exit. "Trust me," I say "It's okay."

So he does But he shouldn't.