I REALLY JUST WANNA CRY RN

Telling my future children this is Matty Healy

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Right lads (gender-neutrally), in the middle of writing the first proper chapter for menswear and I’m doing a flash back to like six months after Matty came out so he’s about to turn 15 , and him and the lads are out and about in Trafford Centre , and I’m trying to link the flash back to the story where Matty talking about how he doesn’t want to go there right now due to the fact that he’s not in the right headspace to be dealing with people —— so I was wondering if any of you amazingly talented people would know what 14 almost 15 year old Matty might be freaking out about or might now be in a good headspace about while out with the lads an option will be viable and I might use a few options through the story if anyone wants to help

❤️❤️😄❤️❤️

I hate having ADHD sometimes man like , when I get the recommended 7-8 hours of sleep I just wake up in the morning and feel like I’m going about my day like a damn zombie and can only concentrate on one thing at a time and like I get tired more often —- but when I get no sleep or maybe like less than 5 hours I’ll be up all day for like 3-4 day straight and I can do anything , get everything done , think and concentrate on a million things at one time I’m happy and alive ——but then by the end of day for the burnout comes and I just wanna die and sleep forever like wtf

Should I change instruments 😂😂

This is just a simple one shot I thought of the other day while I was working it’s not all that good I can 100% understand that , but I hope it’s enjoyable , it’s just a cute little story of George taking care of an upset Matty and helping him , I’m sorry it’s a little jumpy but I hope you like it.

“Matty I swear you better answer your phone “

That was the last thing I send him about an hour ago, I’m now in the back of an Uber on my way to his place, worry coursing through me as he hasn’t been at rehearsal for almost a week and none of us have heard from him since we got back 3 weeks ago. We know he’s not doing great but we’ve been trying to help but he’s not making it easy. This drive to his feels like the longest drive I swear , I’m tapping away at my legs getting more anxious every time we stop. I keep checking my phone just to be sure he hasn’t texted I know he won’t but I need to check either way.

When I arrive at his, I basically run up to his door checking under the plant pit for the spare key and quietly enter just to be sure I don’t accidentally startle him. As I’m heading through the house I see a scattering of mugs everywhere that’s nothing new none of them are empty either again nothing new. The thing that’s putting me off his bow quiet it is in here. It’s never quiet, there’s usually always some type of noise or loudness coming from somewhere in the house. “Hey Matty, where are ya”, he’s not anywhere I’ve check so far , the smart option would be that he’s in his bedroom bits it’s past midday so I assume he’d have at least been awake but I guess not. I head to his room and slightly nudge the door open there’s a small lump in the bed and the sheets are in a heap, as I step closer that’s when I notice that he’s still asleep hair strewn over the pillow such a mess, he’s got clothes on so that’s a start he’s not naked. I spot his suitcase in the corner he hasn’t even unpacked yet , it’s open and there clothes spilling out from it like he’s looked for something in the suitcase but hasn’t made an attempt to put his stuff away. Now I’m stiff next to the bed and I’m shaking him a little “Come on Matty, it’s like 2pm , there’s no way you can still be asleep” still nothing so I shake him a little harder this time. He jumps awake and pulls away

“G…George “, is eyes taking a second to adjust to the light squinting as he rubs his eyes “why are you here?”

“Mate , what’s up with you , you haven’t been to rehearsals and no one’s heard from ya , I came to see if you where okay” , I sat on the side of the bed next to him trying to work out if he’s doing okay , he looks a bit pale and his stubble is starting to grow “like honestly what’s up?”

He racks his hand back through his greasy hair and lays back down “just feel like shit G” , I don’t know if he means physically or mentally but either way I need to help him so I shake him up a little again.

“Come on Matty , let’s get you up”, he shake his head only a little though and pulls the blanket around himself turning away from me. “Come on, you’ll feel better if you shower”, I pull the duvet off of him and wrap my arms around his small frame trying to pick him up , but he’s making it a little hard slightly flailing about and asking me to put him down.”Then get up yourself lazy bones , and hop in the shower , I’ll help you wash your hair if you want”. A shit eating grin appears on his face at the mention of me washing his hair, he loves it when someone else washes his hair. I let him go this time letting him drop the small distance back the bed “Come on needy”. I rise from the bed and offer him my hand which he grabs and I drag him through to the en-suite

He’s stood there in the bathroom looking tiny and frail “Have you eaten since you got back Matty?”, he lets out a small whimper with a shrug “a little not much I guess then aye”, he nods at my response, “come on off with these”, I gesture towards his T-shirt and jogging pants. He slowly starts to take off his clothes I make my way around him and get the shower going checking the temperature to make sure it’s warm enough then remove my shirt as I guide him slowly under the shower listening to him sigh as the heat reaches his body “that’s it mate get yourself cleaned up , I’ll wait just out here until your ready for me to do your hair okay”, he nods slowly. I close up the shower door and sit on the sink taking my phone out texting the boys letting them know that I’m here with Matty and that I’ll get him sorted. After a couple of minutes I here his call for me

“I’m ready G” , with that I step back into the shower with him ignoring that my jeans will get soaked as he passes me the shower gel , I lather it up in my hands waiting until it’s really soapy and start rubbing my hands through his hair, Matty leans against me as I massage his scalp making sure I get it all in, “So what’s been going on then Matty?”

“Just haven’t felt great in my head lately and I didn’t want to bother you guys”, his eyes are currently closed as he’s leaning against my shoulder and humming away when I find a place that he likes “I’m sorry, I know I should have said but I was just too in m head”, I slowly guide him back under the water to rinse off the soap

“Matty, you know you can always tell us when something is wrong, do you want help cleaning the house up or some food first?”, I don’t expect him to answer straight away as he’s under the water and I’m just stood watching him relax fully under the water.

We both exit the shower at the same time and I throw him one of the softest towels from the cupboard under the sink and tell him to get wrapped up and warm “I don’t want to go out just yet so can we maybe clean up first”, he lead him back to the bedroom and sit him back onto the bed and ruffle through the clothes in his suitcase stopping when I come across a T-shirt I know we both love and his skinny black jeans and I give them to him “put these on yeh and we can get to cleaning, I’ll be down stairs doing the dishes when your ready okay”, he nods at me softly as I pat his cheeks , with a smile and make my way back downstairs picking up mugs on the cabinets on my way down.

Down stairs there’s not coffee cups scattered around the place after picking them all up and loading up the sink, I start filling it up with water and look for the dish soup I finally find it on the window sill of course it’s the lemon one , I shake my head at him , I begin cleaning the dishes up and wait for him to come down. after some time he appears at the kitchen door “Alright G”, he still looks small but a little more awake than before

“How you feeling Matty ?, pass me that pan in the hob yeh?”, he doubters over the hob, brings me the pan and sits up on the counter next to me

“Everything is a little fuzzy if I’m honest G , I don’t know when the feeling started and I know you guys have been texting me all week to come to rehearsal but I just couldn’t even get out of bed, it just felt like something was pushing on my chest pushing me down and I was stuck there for days, and the only thing that I was able to get up for was coffee, I don’t even want to face people right now” , he’s flailing his arms , not really gesturing at anything , being as Matty about it as possible as he continues to talk. “I do miss you guys and I wanted to be there I promise but It was just hard to do”

“It’s alright Matty , we understand , we really do, I just wanted to check up on you didn’t I”, I finish up washing the dishes and wipe my hands down on my jeans placing my hands on his knees and kiss his head “I missed you too love”, I pull him into a hug finally letting him be close to me and rub my hands up and down his back “you can let it all out now” , This is when he starts to sob onto my shoulder, having held it back since I came in. I know that he needs to let it out. “What’s for dinner then , Maccies?” , He looks up at my face this time with another grin that nearly split his face

“Your driving though right ?” , I nod to him smiling back at him , and pull him from the counter letting him run off to put on his shoes , at this I run back upstairs to grab my shirt I took off in the shower ealier. Once I’ve retrieved it and Matty has his shoes on,We both run outside and hop into his car and race off to maccies. It’s quite a quiet journey, but I just let him rest there with his head on the window looking small as he sits in the passenger seat. When we get to the drive through , I wait there for Matty to ask the employee for his order but he’s not opening his mouth just shaking his head at me “can you just do it G please”

I shake my head and smile at his petulance , after ordering a quarter cheese burger meal for myself I order Matty a Double cheese burger , large strawberry milkshake , apple pie and a Latte. He’s smiling at me now “you always remember my order”

“After so many years of knowing you and what you like why would I forgot , you’ll start with the burger get bored of it after what 3 bites you’ll give it to me and fill up on the pie and milkshake and leave the coffee till last and complain when it’s cold”, I smile at him now once we finish paying for the order and are waiting to receive it , while we’re waiting I hand him a cigarette and my lighter “I know you must be gagging for one by now” , he takes them from me smiling like a child in a candy shop and when I get the order I hand it to him also I then drive into the car park and smile , taking my time to watch him grab his things and hand the back back to me I take hold of the wheel and smile “where to miss??” , mocking the titanic , a film we watched for the 100the time while away on tour before we came back, this made him laugh like mad

“Jesus G, I don’t think Leo would be very happy that your stealing his Rizz , but uh anywhere drive wherever you’d like” , and just like I said he would while slurping on his milkshake he takes approximately three bites of his burger and is handing it to me with those big pleading eyes of his “take it , I don’t want it”, and gleefully opens the pie box, “although these I could eat all day”.

I smile at this because although he may seem mysterious to the rest of the world , I can read this man like a damn book “thanks”, after taking the burger in my hand , I drive off , thinking I’ll take him to the beach , there’s a football in the back of his car, it’s been in there for years so maybe a kick about will do him some good , “footie?”

He takes a few drags of his cigarette and continues to slurp on his milkshake and nods his head vigorously “that sounds great, thank you G”

https://href.li/?https://video.twimg.com/ext_tw_video/1697864713911025664/pu/vid/634x360/MvcQtgBSBB8-LelN.mp4?tag=12

This is so funny to me

“Matty wanted an orangutan “ 😂

I posted the wrong comment with the wrong video that’s embarrassing but hey ho we move 😂😂😂

Good luck to @squishysoupy I know it’s show day for you and I just thought I’d let you know that I hope you have the best time ever Deary and I hope it’s everything my you hoped it would be ❤️❤️❤️

chapter 21 and 22 are so good i’m so in love with your writing

do u know when you’re doing the next one? i don’t mean any pressure at all

Thank you soo soo much

Im going to try and get the next one up in the next two to three days but please don’t take my word on that if not then it shouldn’t be too long

Thank you again ❤️

might start writing again to fill the void off missing being in a relationship or in love with someone so keep an eye out !!