This Is So Funny To Me

This is so ADHD Matty Coded and I love it , everyone else just tryna work and Matty like 🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻 if this is how school was for him I’d have loved to be in his class 😂😂

vibing with a friend that likes self-titled hopefully i can evolve him ❤️

I swear I said the weirdest thing today I need to know if anyone agrees

I can’t remember what the conversation was for me to have aid it but I know I said it

“I’d do anything for Matty , except give up my love for G or John”

Does anyone else agree or am I the weirdo 😂

i felt that

When We Are Together - Matty Healy

Summary: In which Matty falls in love with you in stages his entire life. He knows everything is better when you're together but the two of you are oblivious to the fact you're in love with each other.

Warnings: Swearing. A small section of smut in flashback 2. Unfortunately it's not with Matty. It's with George because I am a whore. Mentions of The S*n. Mentions of Matty going to rehab, obviously we don't know all the personal details apart from the fact there was an intervention after the ilwys era ended and he went and now he's in recovery.  

Author's Note: Self proclaimed 'Not a Matty girl' just wrote 12K lol this has legit taken so long cause I procrastinate but hope you like it!  Really fucking long because I tend to let my mind wonder, I don't even know if this is any good but I'm trying to get better. I thought the concept was cute anyway. So enjoy! Let me know what you guys think and if you liked it x

Word Count: 12K

Your life had always been surrounded by the boys. So many moments in your life that their fans could only ever dream of knowing about or being involved in but you didn’t know any different, it was just your life. You had no choice in the matter when your brother and best friend in the entire world was the bassist in the band. That’s right; Ross MacDonald was your big brother and you seemed to be somewhat of a legend amongst their hardcore fanbase yourself for putting up with their antics for as long as you had! Not that you really had a choice when you were tied to them via blood but they had also hired you as their personal assistant so you could follow them around the world and so none of them had to part from you for too long.

You had personal relationships with all of the band, not just your brother who genuinely was the best big brother you could have ever asked for. He was your best friend and had been since the moment you were born. Sometimes it irritated the others how annoying the two of you were when you both got into silly moods, with all your inside jokes and side looks that nobody else understood. Especially Matty who always wanted in on the joke. But Ross was a ride or die kind of guy and you were the same. If it came down to it you would fight over who took the first bullet.

Adam Hann. Adam truly was an angel of man sent to earth to be your bestie and you don’t think you could love him anymore if you could. Someone you could geek out about The Office with on the tour bus and who brought you coffee when he could see you needed a pick me up. The most level headed of the boys, you know he’ll always be on your side. Someone who’s come to your rescue during many nights out both pre and post fame and took your hand, pretended to be your boyfriend with no questions asked and got you away from creeps more times than you would have liked. You couldn’t be more grateful for a selfless friend like Adam Hann.

George Daniel. Your ‘little’ Georgie had been in your form at school, so apart from your brother until you were much older and started hanging out with them more, you had spent the most time with him. So it’s fair to say that the pair of you were close. So close that you lived with him and Matty in your early twenties. Even a small indiscretion on his 23rd birthday much to your brother’s dismay didn’t change the course of your relationship. Now that you were both thirty two and you were still working for him, clearly the two of you didn’t care that you had seen each other naked. If anything your night together all those many moons ago had brought you closer together. You would trust him with your life.

Then there was Matty. Matty was something else. If you asked his fans, depending on if you were asking old or new fans. He was something else in two senses of the word. To you he was just Matthew. Your big brother’s best friend who was a bit of a weird kid, transitioned into a somewhat cool teenager who you had a bit of a crush on when you were seventeen, to the most annoying person you’ve ever laid eyes on. But also he was your best friend. An old married couple is what George labeled you both and he wasn’t wrong, the pair of you did have a bit of a domestic life together when he wasn’t busy being a rockstar. 

I think the fans would be shocked to find out he likes doing the mundane things in life like doing the food shop with you and fighting at the tills that it was his turn to scan his club card. Or walking the dog, drinking a good cup of tea at his Mam’s house or cooking with you over a glass of wine with Donny Hathaway playing in the background on the record player.

He had done so much for you over the years and you always thought it was just Matty being Matty and looking out for you. Hiring you as the band’s assistant, so you could see the world with them so you weren’t stuck in a stuffy office job in England. Even though you had graduated from uni with a first class degree in photography. Moving you into his home when you broke up with your long term boyfriend in 2020 so you weren’t wallowing in self pity. It was probably then, that George cemented your “marriage status” because you did do everything together and apparently you had been oblivious your entire friendship until now.

It was in this moment in Belfast on the last night of the UK tour that your head swimming with all of the moments in your life that led you to here with Matty, tears brimmed with tears. That you realised that it was him the entire time.

April 2007

You pulled the front of the white tank top you were wearing down, allowing the frilly cups of your red bra to peek out the top. Your top tucked into a short black mini skirt, paired with a big chunky belt and hoop earrings and some wedged sandals on your feet. You actually felt good about yourself for once! You, Sarah and Rebecca ready to get drunk and dance your asses off with all of your friends as you celebrated Matty’s birthday.

Matty’s 18th birthday party was being held at his house. A classic Healy house party yet you still wondered how Denise and Tim were somehow trusting him enough for the night to not burn the house down so he could celebrate his birthday with his friends without parental supervision.

You of course had yet to turn eighteen, as had your brother who was only eleven months older than you. So you turned to your lord and saviour Adam Hann who went to the local off license and bought you a pack of Bacardi Breezers for the party.

When the three of you arrived; you immediately got swept away by your other school friends, giggling at the thought of getting drunk with all your friends and making out with boys your brother would definitely disapprove of was the motivation you needed to open your first drink of the evening.

It was after a few drinks, definitely too many shots of whatever George had proclaimed Matty’s Dad’s had left for the birthday boy. You were starting to feel the effects of the alcohol you had drunk that evening when you spotted Max. Tall, brunette, curly hair and a killer watt smile that made you weak at the knees, talking to George.

Silent motivation from Phoebe as she ruffled her hands through your hair and pushing your tits into a good position as Sarah dabbed on some more lip gloss before pushing you in the direction of the boys, slapping your ass with a quick “Go get him tiger!”

Shooting her a grin over your shoulder, you strutted on over to where George and Max stood clutching their beer bottles as they conversed about god knows what. Hoping to catch his attention, you threw on your best smile as you stopped in front of the two of them. 

“Hello boys!” You beamed a the two of them, eyes lingering on Max a little longer. “Having a good night?”  You asked, twiddling the straw around your drink as you waited for their answer.

“Even better now you’re here gorgeous!” 

Your heart fluttered for a moment. Max was flirting back.

“Your tits are looking mega tonight babe!” 

George broke your eye contact with the tall brunette as your eyes flitted towards him. The blush flushing across your cheeks at George’s compliment, “Ohhh thanks G!”  You laughed awkwardly, catching his eyes fall to your tits once more just as Ross walked past the three of you.

“Dude! That’s my sister!” He punched him in the arm; a scowl on his face and immediately pulling you away with him and far away from the boys and into the crowd of people dancing in Denise and Tim’s living room.

“You’re no fun!”  You huffed.

“You can do a lot better than Max sis. Believe me! I’m just looking out for you.” 

He smiled softly at you and you sighed, knowing you couldn’t ever stay mad at him. He knew you better than anyone else and always looked out for you no matter what. “Thanks bro.  I know. I’m just going to get some fresh air, it’s a bit stuffy in here.” 

You sent him a smile, squeezing past him and all the other sweaty bodies to head out the sliding doors at the back of Matty’s kitchen. Letting out the breath you hadn’t realised you had been holding as the cool spring air brushed over your skin. Taking in the serenity of the night air, you didn’t realise anyone else was out there until you heard a cough causing you to snap your head towards the noise.

Matty was leaning up against the back wall, cigarette hanging from his lips.

“Alright birthday boy! What you doing out here by yourself?” You laughed lightly as you approached; leaning next to him as you took in the slightly solemn look on his face.

“Bit overwhelming in there. Thought I’d like the attention but there’s too many people. Half of them are just here to get drunk, they don’t care about me.” He laughed bitterly; blowing smoke into the air. “Anyway. What are you doing out here?”

“Just needed some air. It was a bit stuffy in there. Too many people.”

“Ahhh so we’re alike in our thinking.” Matty laughed. “Wish it was just you and the boys to be honest.” He mumbled, shuffling his feet.

“Hey. You know if you want we can have a do over. Come over to mine and Ross’ tomorrow. We’ll order pizza and watch True Romance. I’d hate for you to not look back fondly at your 18th.”  You smiled softly as you spoke.

“You’re brilliant.” Matty’s eyes bright as he looked at you. “I’d really like that. Thanks sweetheart.”  Matty shot you a genuine smile for the first time since you stepped outside.

A brief moment of silence settled across the two of you before Matty spoke again.

“You look incredible tonight.”

“Ohhh.” You looked down at your feet, unsure of how to take the compliment.

“Hey.” Matty lifted your chin up. “What’s all that about? You’re the most beautiful girl in the room.” He said earnestly; swiping at the apples of your cheeks and holding your jaw in his hands.

“Just didn’t think anyone could look past the fact I’m Ross’ sister. Nobody ever calls me beautiful.”

“Not even Josh? Didn’t you date him for nearly a year?”  Matty asked as you shook your head.

“Then he’s an idiot. You’re always the most beautiful girl in the room darling.”

“Matty.” 

It came out a whisper as you both stared into each other’s brown eyes. Matty’s eyes dancing across your features, settling on your lips before looking back up and catching your gaze already on him. Matty leaned in, his face getting closer to your own as your mind started racing. 

Did you want to kiss Matty? Kinda, yeah! 

Should you kiss Matty? No, definitely not. Ross would kill the both of you. 

Did you kiss Matty? Yes.

“We shouldn’t.”  You whispered, lips mere inches away from his own.

“But a birthday kiss is all I want this year.” 

His words came out of a whisper, you didn’t say anything else just pushed your lips against his and allowed him to pull you closer as his mouth moved against the softness of your glossed lips. His hands moving from your face, dancing down the sides of your body and landing on your waist before he reluctantly pulled away, forehead resting against your own.

“You’re good at that.” He pecked your lips once more.

“Mmmm.”  You hummed; opening your eyes as Matty held you close. You quickly opened your mouth to say something and promptly shut it again when you caught the way Matty looked at you. “Fuck it!” You mumbled and slammed your lips back against his own.

The birthday boy now pushing you up against the wall, hands impossibly tight on your waist as he pulled you as physically close as possible. Your hands uprooting themselves in the hair at the back of his neck and tugging as you snogged him like your life depended on it. Like you weren’t pushed against the back of his kitchen wall in his garden, where any of your school friends could come out and catch you. Or worse; your brother but you didn’t care because the way Matty was kissing you made your whole body tingle.

Tugging his hair again as his tongue moved against your own. Matty groaned loudly; finally pulling away. “Fuck settle down! You know I can’t be found with you and if you keep doing that, someone is going hear us.” He groaned as he continued to pepper kisses up the side of your jaw.

“Hmmm, don’t feel like being murdered by my brother right now.”  You sighed; leaning back against the wall to take him in. Lips swollen and eyes bright as he watched you.

“I don’t want to be murdered by your brother either. Worst birthday ever!” He chuckled; hands dancing across your waist. “But that was my favourite birthday gift! Thanks sweetheart!” Matty grinned; watching you push yourself off the wall and smooth yourself down before heading back towards the house.

You paused for a moment; your foot on the last step, your hand lingering on the handle to the back door for a millisecond as you looked over your shoulder one last time at Matty who was just watching you. You sent him a soft smile, your hair falling in front of your face as you laughed before leaving him the dark as you rejoined the party.

A kiss with Matty who was your big brother’s (and your) annoying friend, someone you had an innocent schoolgirl crush on once he started becoming a tiny bit cool as the lead singer in their band. Something you didn’t think was an overly big deal, after all people kiss people they shouldn’t when they’re drunk all the time. Turns out it was the starting point of the trajectory of how your’s and Matty’s story begun.

March 2013

In the midst of releasing a series of EPs and gigging around the country and building up their hardcore fanbase. You had managed to get the boys all to just relax for a moment and celebrate the release of their Music for Cars EP and the fact that it was George’s 23rd birthday this weekend. And how did you celebrate? The only way you lot knew how, a dirty ole’ house party just like the good old days.

You had managed to squeeze God knows how many people in little flat you shared with George and Matty. As far as flatmate’s go, they weren’t all that bad. You had moved in with them straight after university so you had definitely had worse.

You had just downed what you believe was your fifth vodka shot of the evening and decided you needed to pace yourself a bit more if you weren’t going to stumble into your room and pass out any time soon. So upon spotting Ross, you wondered over to your brother who was sat talking to Hann; wiggling your way in between the two of them with a giggle. Ross automatically lifting his arm for you to slip under as you nursed the rest of your wine at a slower pace until your glass was empty.

After your head stopped spinning a sufficient amount, you found yourself milling about the flat and smuggling yourself into Matty’s embrace as he poured you another glass.

“Enjoying yourself sweetheart?” 

“Mmm. Have you see the birthday boy?” You felt Matty’s lips pressed to the top of your head as you asked.

“You leaving me already?”  He chuckled. “Think he popped out the back for a cig.” 

He motioned towards the back door. You immediately unravelled yourself from him, a kiss smacked against his cheek, catching the corner of his mouth. Not that you noticed in your flurry but Matty did. The longing for the feeling of the two of you had shared in his back garden prickling at his chest as his eyes locked onto your retreating figure as you rushed through the throng of remaining people in the kitchen and exiting the flat.

Matty was right. You found George smoking out the back in your little tiny back garden under the dying glimmer of your shit security light that was attached to your back wall. Turning in your direction at the sound of the back door shutting, George automatically opened his arms for you to slot into his side, arm hung loosely over your shoulder as he let out the smoke he had just inhaled. Wordlessly placing the cig in your mouth to let you take a drag yourself, you passed it back and forth between the two of you in silence.

Stubbing the end into the brick, George dropped it into the bucket of dirty filters before breaking the silence. “God what time is it?”  He asked as you watched him push the balls of his hand into his eyes.

“Nearly 2am! Why you need to go to bed Grandad?!”

“Fucking maybe?! How many people are left?” The now blonde motioned towards the house.

“Only a few. Heard Sally talk about some of them heading into town on the way out and Luke and Helen have to be up early so they left nearly a hour ago. Just the band and about three other now. You ready to head in birthday boy?” You asked; holding out your hand for him to take with a smirk.

With a silent nod George didn’t hesitate to grab onto your hand as you tried not to trip over the many plant pots that were littered across your garden path. “You given me my birthday present yet? I can’t remember?” You turned to look at the drummer. An amused look on your face because he had given you the brightest smile when he had opened the personalised drumsticks you had gotten him earlier. “Or are you my present? Wait is this an ambush?” George gasped. “Please be an ambush!” He grinned at you.

“You should be so lucky!”  You scoffed; before shooting him a smirk as you opened the the kitchen door.

“Your tits look mega in that dress by the way!” His tone smug as he closed the kitchen door behind him. Your only response being the cackle that left your mouth as you left George to watch you walk away as you joined the rest of the band in the living room.

Lucky indeed because once the remaining guests left about twenty minutes later. You had snuck into George’s room to say good night and wish him a happy birthday and it’s how you found yourself currently with aching arms. As they were locked either side of George’s knees, his hands tight on your waist as you bounced on his cock.

You weren’t sure how long you had been in this position. You do know he had already made you cum twice though. Once on his tongue and once with his fingers but my God were you spiralling towards your third. The thick drag of his cock between your legs as he stretched you out was delicious but you needed to cum quick because you weren’t sure how long you could stay in this position for.

“Jesus Christ! So fucking good George!” You wailed; as George’s thumb swiped through the slick between your legs and rubbing at your clit.

“Feel good baby?”

“Yes. Shit! So good!” You panted. “Arms hurt though, fuck.”

“Don’t worry. I’ve got you.” He said; pulling you forward.

You fell forward at full speed; having to catch yourself on either side of his face to stop yourself from head butting him as his large hands moved from your hips to grab on to the globes of your ass before plowing up into your cunt so fast you saw stars dance under your eyelids. All you could do was shake and babble out a string of, “So good. So good. So good.” As George made you cum again.

Pulling out quickly. You had no time to recover as George flipped you over; face already in his pillows as he pushed back into you as he chased his own orgasm. The drag of his cock made you feel delirious at the speed in which he was fucking you back into the mattress.

“Fucking hell. You’re so good G! Yes! Yes! Yes!”  You screamed into the mattress, really not caring that your mutual best friend was on the other side of the wall.

His name fell from your lips like a chant. You hadn’t been fucked this good in forever, if at all and the fact it was your Georgie made your head spin.

“Come on baby. One more and I’ll give it to you.” He whispered in your ear, kissing the back of your shoulder before pulling you back on to his cock at rapid speed and sending you hurtling towards your fourth orgasm of the night (well morning) and George to fill you up with a satisfied groan.

Pulling out; your gentle giant rolled over, the pair of you catching your breath after fucking for a good hour. Rolling your head to the side to take him in, you pressed a kiss to the top of his shoulder with a chuckle. “Happy Birthday G!” 

The now blonde let out a loud laugh as the pair of you snuggled into each other’s arms, like you would normally do under any other circumstances as George pressed a kiss to the side of your face. The temporary bliss shielding you both from the circumstances you’d have to face in the morning.

When you did manage to wake up the next morning, George was still fast asleep but his alarm clock read 10:12 and you knew you’d have to get up to tidy the flat because Matty certainly wouldn’t. As you looked around George’s room, you scrambled to find anything to hide your dignity as you moved around to clean up. As you pulled the shirt George was wearing the night before over your bare body, you didn’t have chance to register the other voices on the other side of the bedroom door.

“Where is she? She’s not answering her phone? She’s not in her room either.”

Matty didn’t answer Ross’s question, just grumbled into his arms before flinging himself down onto the dining room table dramatically.

“What’s the matter with you? You look like shit Healy!” Hann shoved his shoulder with a laugh as he threw himself on the sofa.

“Well you’d look like shit if you didn’t get any sleep cause you could hear George fucking at all hours of the night too.” Matty snapped at the two of them.

“Who was he shagging? I thought he wasn’t seeing that blonde anymore?”

Unfortunately for you, this was when you decided to make your grand appearance. Walking out of George’s room in nothing but his shirt and your knickers from the night before. The three of them silent as they took in your appearance.

Adam’s jaw slack as he looked on in shock as everything clicked into place before his very eyes.

Matty looked pained as he ran a hand through his curls before pushing himself up off the dining room table and shuffling into the kitchen, silently flicking the kettle on.

Ross looked angry. You could see it simmering in his eyes. The vein on his neck pulsing as he starred you down.

“I’ve been trying to ring you. Why were you in George’s room? ”

“I’ve been asleep. I’m here now aren’t I? Everything alright?” You brushed past him, trying to avoid talking about the inevitable. You hated when Ross was angry.

“Why do you have George’s shirt on?”

The two of you competed in a stare off. The both of you silent. Neither of you making the next move. If there was one thing you MacDonald siblings were, it was stubborn. Adam was watching on in anticipation. The only noise to be heard was Matty shuffling around the kitchen in the background. Your brother asked you again. Why was he asking you questions he didn’t want to know the answers to.

“Don’t make me say it bro.”  You sighed; annoyance flashing across his features.

“You slept with my best friend?”  Ross immediately started raising his voice. He already knew the answer, he didn’t need your confirmation. Not that he waited for it because he was already storming towards George’s room and right on queue, the door swung open to George just in his boxers.

“Ross. Stop!”  Your voice loud and going ignored.

“YOU SLEPT WITH MY SISTER?!”  

Ross was seething. Hann was immediately by your side ready to intervene. Matty still off and away from the drama (which was very unlike him) that was about to unfold. He was unlawfully quiet but you couldn’t think about that when Ross was squaring off with George in the doorway to your rooms. The shouting sounded like you were under water as you zoned it out. This was a disaster. It was only when Hann touching your arm, whispering if they should intervene or not that brought you back to reality and had you storming right in between the two giants.

Pushing your way in between them. You stood with your back against George’s chest, a hand on your brothers and looking up at him with pleading eyes. “Ross. Please. Fighting George isn’t going to solve anything.”

“You slept. With my sister. What about fucking bro code?! Not cool dude!”

“It was me.” You shouted over the top of his booming voice, all four of them turning to look at you as you very rarely raised your voice. “It was me. I initiated it. So if you’re going to be mad at someone, shout at me because it’s my fault.”

“Babe you don’t have to defend me.” George touched your shoulder gently. “I know, we shouldn’t have done it.”

“Don’t touch her!” Ross zoned in on George’s hands upon your shoulders. He quickly lifted them up in surrender.

“George, we’re both consenting adults.” You addressed him before turning back to your brother. “I’m sorry but if you’re going to sulk about it, blame me because I started it. Ross you know I love you more than anything in this world but you can’t hate everyone that goes near me.”  You reached for his hand to give it a squeeze. “It was literally a one night stand. Promise it won’t happen again.”

Ross tried to pull his hand out of yours at your words, the vein in his neck twitching at the fucked up thought of his little sister casually sleeping around. “I’m not fucking happy about it. Fucking bro code dude.” He threw his hands up dramatically before turning towards the door. “I’m going for some fresh air.” 

Ross quickly yanked open the front door, Hann hot on his tail, muttering something about checking on him which left you with Matty and George. The three of you standing in silence for a moment before George popped a kiss on top of your head and mumbling about a cig and heading out the back.

Matty disappeared again into the kitchen as you plonked yourself down at the dining room table with a groan. The ticking of the clock the only thing to be heard as the two of you were now the only ones left in your tiny flat. Sitting down next to you, Matty didn’t say anything. Just pushed a mug of coffee towards you and sipping his own.

“You don’t hate me do you? You haven’t said anything all morning.”

Matty took a sip of his coffee, a look of contemplation on his face as his eyes flitted towards you. The silence deafening and the thought of him being upset with you made your heart ache.

“You never offered me that on my birthday.”

You blinked rapidly as you stared at him. That was it. That’s what he chose to say.

Matty tried to say it with a joking lilt to his words. A smirk hiding behind his mug of coffee as you took in his words. But he knew deep down that there was a seriousness to it. It was true, you’ve never done anything with him other than when you kissed at his 18th, on his birthday or otherwise. Apart from one drunken weekend about two weeks later. He wasn’t sure why the thought made his heart pang. But it did. You opened your mouth to respond, quickly shutting it again as a flush rushed to your cheeks as you remembered the night in his garden five birthdays ago.

You let out a shaky laugh, not knowing what to say, shoving his shoulder playfully as you settled back into your chair, steaming coffee ready to be drunk.

“I don’t, you know.” 

You turned you head to curly haired man beside you confused at what he was saying. 

“I could never hate you.”

2014

You weren’t exactly sure where you were. What state you were in. What time it was or how much you and the band had to drink or what drugs Matty had taken tonight but you were fucking exhausted. You had been following your brother and your best friends around the world for the best part of just over a year, ‘acting’ like their personal assistant. 

You were essentially a glorified baby sitter for these four man children. You wouldn’t change it for the world though, you got to travel the world with your best friends and take cool photography in the cool cities you visited but it was all catching up to you. All whilst they were busy being rockstars, some more than others but that was a different story.

You wanted nothing more than to be in the dingy little flat you shared with Matty and George in Manchester, catching up on washing, going down to your local Sainsbury’s and doing the weekly shop. Anything that didn’t require going to bed post 3am.

But you were currently in a club in Atlanta or was it Nashville? You didn’t know but what you did know was that you were bloody tired and the thought of travelling on the tour bus to the next state with a hangover was genuinely about to send you into a downward spiral if you didn’t get yourself back to the hotel asap.

Tucked neatly underneath Hann’s arm, his arm loosely hanging over your shoulder as you rested your head upon his shoulder, you prayed for your brother to round up the other two quicker than he was because you were actually asleep standing up at this point. You didn’t think it was possible to be asleep with your eyes open but you were positive at this precise moment in time it was currently happening.

Ross finally reappeared with George in tow but there was no Matty trailing behind the two of them. You groaned loudly as you clapped eyes on the two of them. Ross looked defeated, tiredness set his eyes too. George smirked when he heard your groans.

“Not the usual type of groans you make when you see me baby.”

“I’ll punch you so hard before Ross even gets the chance to if you don’t shut the fuck up Daniel's. Where’s Healy?”  You huffed, scowling at the boy in front of you.

“Mumbled something incoherent before refusing to leave.” Your brother grumbled.

“Give me two minutes.” You sent Hann a soft smile, before removing yourself from the bubble the two of you’d created at the end of the bar before pushing your way through all the sweaty bodies until you found him trying to chat up some blonde model type near the DJ booth.

Gently placing your hand around his bicep to get his attention, his curls whipped in your direction to see who was touching him. The first thing you noticed apart from the bright grin he was now sporting were his dilated pupils. So he had taken coke again, brilliant. 

The sigh that left you so deeply rooted, you’re surprised he didn’t pick up on it. You hated the way it made him feel after the high was over.

“Hi darling! Hasn’t tonight been amazing? Wait where are the others? Can you believe your brother tried to make me to go back to the hotel? How sick was the gig tonight? Do you want to dance? Hey let me introduce you to…” He spoke at a hundred miles a hour as he spewed out utter nonsense, turning to realise the blonde he was chatting up was long gone.

You watched Matty’s shoulders sag, sad eyes now back on your own. “You fancy coming back with me? I’m dead on my feet and don’t really fancy nursing this inevitable hangover whilst being stuck on the tour bus for over six hours with you lot without at least four hours of decent sleep.”

“But I don’t want to go home yet.” He pouted.

“You come with me now, I’ll let you stay in my bunk tomorrow and I won’t complain about how clingy you are. Promise!”

“Like a sleepover?!”  Matty’s face lit up again.

“If you like, yeah!” You laughed at his childlike enthusiasm.

“Come on then, let’s go right now!” He started to drag you through the crowds. “I’m sharing with Ross tonight. I think he’d rather kill himself than watch you throw yourself at me!” 

“I don’t throw myself at you.” You laughed at the frown he was pulling at you.

“It’s been known to happen Healy! I don’t mind though. My bunk tomorrow. Pinky promise.”

“Tomorrow.”  Matty sent you a soft smile; his pinky looping around your own before you started to tug him back towards the boys. “I just want to clarify, I don’t throw myself at you I just like lying on your tits is all!” He said, pulling a laugh out of you as you approached the rest of the band. Your brother already leading the troops out the club as he saw your approach, eager to get out of there and into bed.

You had currently been on the road from Atlanta to Raleigh, North Carolina for the past two hours and the hangover was showing no signs of disappearing. You had already watched half a season of The Office with Hann and had taken a half arsed nap with Ross but it was hard trying to sleep in the lounge, when your head was knocking off his shoulder every time the bus hit a pot hole.

Not to mention; if Matty made one more fucking sound, you were absolutely positive one of you was going to throw him out the window. It was a toss up between you and Hann, whoever got to him first I suppose. But he was getting on your last nerve. He was annoying at the best of times but there was something about his come down today that was irritating you to no fucking end. He so much as breathed too loudly and it was sending you spiralling into deep pit of annoyance.

You and the band were up back in the lounge area, some Adam Sandler movie playing quietly in the back ground that you were pretty sure none of them were even paying attention to. When Matty threw his phone across the bus, swearing something incoherent under his breath and it was the last straw.

Standing up abruptly, you managed to startle both Ross and Hann at the speed in which you moved. Pulling down George’s hoodie that you had stolen, so it covered more of your ass over the pair of gym shorts you had on. You turned back towards your brother and Adam, irritation etched across your features, scowling at Matty as you eyed him out of your peripheral, as he moped about next to George. 

Just the image of him, made you want to roll your eyes.

“I’m going to my bunk before I fucking throttle him!”  

You sent them both a sarcastic smile before storming off to your bunk. You can’t have been there ten minutes before your peace was interrupted by Matty who was peering around the curtain and asking if he can join you. You let out a big sigh before silently nodding your head as he lumbered on into the small space.

Immediately wrapping his arms around your waist; his head found home upon your chest just like it always did when he wanted a cuddle. Your hand that was wrapped around him made its way up to his head, where it settled in his curls, finger tips running across his scalp. The sound of his soft sighs automatically calming down the irritation that had been bubbling inside you since he had awoken this morning.

You weren’t entirely sure how long you had been lying there in silence. You only broke the silence when the coldness of Matty’s fingertips slipped underneath your hoodie to touch the warmth of your skin. His thumb rubbing circles across the softness of your hips as he snuggled further into your tits as one of his legs started pushing its way in between your own as he got comfy.

“Matty?” Your voice gentle as you tried to get his attention.

“You said you wouldn’t complain.” His voice muffled as he spoke into your covered breasts.

“Your fingers are fucking freezing that’s all.” Your chest vibrated with laughter.

“Sorry sweetheart” Matty moved the slightest bit, to kiss the underside of your chin before snuggling back into the warmth of your hoodie.

“I don’t mean to, you know?”  He whispered softly.

“What are you talking about?”

“I don’t mean to make you angry.” 

His voice was barely above a whisper, that you nearly missed it.

“I’m not angry. Why would you think I’m angry at you?”

“You looked like you’d rather die than be anywhere near me before.” The hand that was weaving through his curls stopped. “I hated it. Hated that you looked at me like that. Made me feel even more shit than I already do.”

“Healy look at me.” Matty didn’t move a muscle, head still tucked underneath your chin, no effort in moving at all at your words.

“Babe. Look at me.” Your voice more stern, wiggling away from his grip so you could look down at him properly. “I could never hate you. Ever.” Your eyes flitted across his features, hardened by the late nights on tour and the hardcore partying. “I hate what that stuff does to you. I would never stop you from having fun but when you do that stuff, I hate how it makes you hate yourself the next day. I don’t want you doing something you’re going to regret because believe it or not Healy. I’m quite fond of you and I don’t think my heart could take it if something happened to you. Neither would my brother’s or Hann’s or George’s. We love you a stupid amount you know.”

Matty blinked at you as he took in your words, his brown eyes glossing over before shoving his face into you neck, the grip around your waist becoming impossibly tighter. Your body shaking as his vibrated against yours, soft sobs leaving him as he chanted; “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” Over and over again.

All you could do was hold him closer and reassure him, that he had nothing to be sorry for and you were just looking out for him because anything else, you were afraid it might break you and you’d cry too. As your best friend was breaking his heart and wetting the hoodie you were wearing.

“Don’t apologise for having fun. I just want you to be careful. All I ever want is for you to be okay and sometimes what you do with all those people you don’t know isn’t good for you sweetheart.”

You squeezed him tighter, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. As he mumbled how “I’ll be better, I promise” into your neck, pressing multiple kisses in quick succession to just under the right side of your jaw before settling back into silence where the two of stay for some time.

The soft regular movement of Matty’s thumb rubbing circles on your hip stopped, his hand significantly less colder than they were before he had them up your hoodie, moved across the expanse of your lower back and rolling you over so you were now draped over him instead and tucked into his side. 

“You know sometimes I feel the only time I might get better is when we are together. You ever feel like that?”

It was now your turn to nod silently, a soft hum leaving your mouth as you pressed a quick kiss into his skin as you settled into a slumber.

2017

You had been pottering about your flat most of the morning, doing a deep clean of the place before you were supposed to be heading to meet the boys for Sunday dinner. Your boyfriend of nearly a year Michael, once again opting out of spending time with you and your family, claiming he had better things to be doing that sitting about and listening to the boys talk about what they had been getting up to in the studio again.

Personally you think it was because George let slip last time Michael could actually be bothered to join you all for a drink, that he had slept with you in a drunken ramble, much to the dismay of your boyfriend, your brother and yourself. And Michael didn’t take too fondly to the fact you were still close with George after the confession.

You were in the middle of folding the last bit of the washing that you had dumped on your bed when your phone pinged with a text from Hann.

‘Did you get a letter in the post this week? x’

‘I get a lot of stuff in the post Ads! Off who? x’

‘Matty x’

The moment you saw his name, your heart got stuck in your throat. None of you had heard from him since he he had left, something to do with his recovery. So the thought of contact from him had you dropping your phone on the bed and rushing from your room, shouting at Michael about the post you had received this week. Only receiving a mumble from him about the fire place; had you dashing to the living room, where you rifled through the post sat on top of the mantelpiece. 

There slotted in between this months Rolling Stone subscription and a local take away menu was a white envelope addressed to you. 

A Barbados post mark sitting in the top right corner.

Dropping the rest of the mail on the coffee table, you rushed back to your bedroom, locking the door immediately before sitting at the edge of your bed and taking in Matty’s scrawl of a penmanship. Running your fingers over the ink; your mind flashed back to that day. 

The day you realised he wasn’t okay. 

How completely out of it he was as you watched him at their last festival gig of the iliwys tour cycle. How utterly miserable he looked as he threw himself about the stage, looking just the shadow of the man you knew and loved.

You knew something wasn’t right as you watched from the side of stage with their manager Jamie. George ever the professional, had even broke his concentration bubble to catch your eye several times during their festival set, worry set in his features. 

The way your gentle giant walked straight up to you, stopped in front of you and just by the look in your eyes. Your face never one to hide your emotions. George wrapped his arm around you and without a single word, the pair of you knew you had to speak to the other boys about it. You needed to talk to him.

The night of the intervention. The way he screamed and shouted at you all. He admitted to using but he didn’t do it quietly. The way Ross stepped in front of you in defence when he swore at you. Hann’s hand wrapped tightly around your own, George’s hand squeezing your shoulder in support as your brown eyes glossed over as you took in the man in front of you. He wasn’t your Matty and you hated looking at him like this. 

You didn’t want to look at him at all and it broke your heart.

Slipping your finger into the envelope you finally tore it open, slipping out several pages of paper. You weren’t sure how long you were holding them before you actually unfolded them but it felt like a lifetime of contemplating before you managed to finally take a deep breath and compose yourself enough to read his words.

‘Darling,

As part of my recovery, I’ve been tasked to write a letter to everyone I’ve hurt and yours is the last one I’ve got to write. Not because you mean the least to me. Quite the opposite. Yours has been the hardest to write. Harder than Gabby. My Mam, Dad & Louis & the boys because you mean the absolute world to me. 

This is actually the third time I’ve attempted to write this. Admitting that I’ve hurt you is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. You know what I’m like, I’m a stubborn twat at the best of times but I needed to do this because you deserve this apology probably the most.

You’ve never once judged me and the fucked up things I do when I’m on one. Since we were kids you’ve stuck by my side, defended me when I really didn’t deserve it and loved me endlessly from the sidelines and I’ve definitely not deserved your love but you gave me it anyway.

Do you remember that time we were on tour in 2014 and I was fucked up on coke for god knows how many days in a row and you couldn’t even be in the same room as me that day on the bus when I was on that god awful come down on the way to North Carolina?

Yet you still didn’t say no when I selfishly came crawling to your bunk to interrupt your peace and quiet with my tail between my legs, asking to come lie with you. You could have told me to piss off but you didn’t, you let me squish myself into your bunk and your arms and let me sleep off my hangover in your arms without complaining once. I would have complained but you didn’t, you let me and my cold hands snake their way into your personal space like I hadn’t gotten on your last nerve just ten minutes prior. 

I’m quite a selfish person. You my darling are the most selfless person I know and I don’t deserve the good grace you’ve given me time and time again. Especially seeing as I dragged you along for the ride and then you’ve had to babysit me because I can’t control myself when it comes to drugs and showing off because I want everyone to like me.

You could have taken the tough love route, told me I’m a big fuck up and judged me for my drug use and tried to get me to stop (which probably would have have had the opposite effect out of defiance) but you didn’t. You silently kept an eye on me and made sure I didn’t end up killing myself. Until I took it too far.

I’ve seen you look at me with distaste over the years. Yet nothing compares to the way you looked at me that day you guys staged your intervention. I didn’t think you guys had noticed. I thought me and Miss H had this great big secret going on and I didn’t want to let any of you guys in on it because it would ruin what we had.

Yet you know me better than anyone. You and George both just knew that day. Of course you did. You’re my best friends. But you don’t know how happy I am the four of you staged that intervention and told me I needed to get my shit together.

When I think about the way I lashed out at you. The way your big brown eyes that usually sparkle with mischief when we’re with each other, glossed over as you just stood and took it and didn’t even raise your voice at me once. I can feel the lump in my throat tighten as I write this.

I deserved it you know. I deserved whatever fury was bubbling inside you because I was a class A cunt that day! I’m truly surprised Ross didn’t knock my head off and I wouldn’t have blamed him either if he had done!

I’m just so glad you did something because the thought of losing every single one of you shatters my soul so much, I would cease to exist without you.

I could sit here and write down the list of all things I’m sorry for but physically we don’t have the time or enough paper! But you should know that I am.

I’m sorry. 

For everything.

I’m doing okay. The best I’ve been in a long time. The only way being here might get better is if you were here too.

I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But I’m begging for it because the thought of you hating me and not being able to trust me anymore kills me.

You really an angel on this earth.

I don’t deserve you.

I love you.

Yours Matthew x

p.s I cannot wait to be reunited with your tits! I’ve missed them!

You let out a chortled laugh as you read through the last line of the letter. Your hands quickly making their way to your face as you wiped the tears that were streaming from your face. The cuffs of your hoodie wet from where you’ve tried to stop the flow of tears. Pressing the letter to your chest, you took a few deep breaths to try compose yourself before you left the confinements of your bedroom.

Hurriedly shoving the letter into your handbag, so there was no chance Michael could stumble across your letter. He didn’t like Matty as it was, you didn’t want to give him ammunition to say anything. You grabbed your car keys and rushed out of the house without a word to your boyfriend and heading straight to Hann’s.

2020

You had broken up with Michael.

The red flags should have been there from the start really. He always had less than nice words to say about you and your relationships with the boys. He didn’t have a lot of nice things to say in general but you were blinded by love and the man he was when you first met that you didn’t see the red flags being waved right in front of your face until your heart (and self confidence) were already broken.

Your brother didn’t like Michael, he thought there was something off about him from the off but you put it down to Ross doing his job as your big brother but his opinion didn’t waver once in the four years you were together. George never liked how possessive he was and the fact he became even more so and tried to stop you from speaking to him after he found out about your night together. Which just fyi happened three years prior to meeting him, so he (everyone) was flabbergasted as to why he was so bothered! Hann. Your sweet angel of a bestie had even voiced how he didn’t like him and he was never one to be rude which should have also been a clue you were dating a dickhead.

Then there was Matty. Matty hated him. The feelings were mutual. Michael had told you plenty of times over your four years together that he hated your best friend but he would never tell you why. Matty told you it was because ‘he was a twat who didn’t deserve you’. You were obliged to agree because that mother fucker cheated on you!

Multiple women across the last two years of your relationship. 

To say you were stunned was an understatement yet it somehow made sense and fell into place so easily when you thought about it all. Yet that didn’t make it hurt any less. But a friend of yours sending you the evidence whilst you were on the last night of the UK tour was the final nail in the coffin that was your shitty relationship with him.

You weren’t sure who wanted to kill him more. Your brother? Matty? Or George? The three of them were raging amongst one another at their after party which should have been a celebration whilst Hann sat with his arms wrapped around you as you cried to him and Carly. You didn’t think anything would make you feel better apart from getting obliterated with your favourite people and forgetting about Michael and the impending doom that was about to be bestowed upon the entire world.

Matty was your saving grace.

Asked you to move in, without even hesitating. Naturally you said yes, sitting in your flat all by yourself whilst you cried over your douchebag of an ex during lockdown did not sound appealing to you. It was giving ‘Emma Pilssbury crying to Celine Dion in her car from Glee’ and you weren’t quite ready to hit that stage of your breakup depression just yet.

Two weeks turned into two months and then four months of lockdown but quite frankly you had never been happier. Living with Matty again, surprisingly was just as good the second time round if not easier. Except this time you weren’t poor, your kitchen roof wasn’t leaking and there was a 95% less drug taking which made your life a whole lot less stressful.

It was just easy with him. At some point whilst the world stood still, Matty and Tahliah broke up and then it really just was you two; doing your washing, fighting over who’s turn it was to use their club card during the weekly shop at Tesco and raising his (both of your’s) new dog, Mayhem.

The two of you had been getting ready to move into a studio tomorrow with George after four months of just the two of you playing house, the pair of them just itching to get back to work. You were aware that Matty had been writing already but you knew it would be full steam now Notes had been released and you wanted to make use of the time you had left just the two of you.

Only because you knew as soon as you got your hands on George. That was it! Not a chance Matty was getting any attention. You had missed your big friendly giant more than anything and you knew from your FaceTime with him last night whilst you couldn’t sleep that he was more than excited to see you too.

All three of you were sunbathing in the garden. Mayhem by your side as the two of you soaked up some much needed sun. The heatwave the UK was currently in the middle of was doing wonders for your skin. You had been lying in silence for the past thirty minutes, a book covering your face to block out the sun as you tried to read. Matty’s head in your lap as you presumed he was napping when you suddenly felt him turn over in your lap, now on his side and looking up at you.

Lifting the book ever so slightly, so you could peek underneath at him, you cocked an eyebrow as he watched you with a gentle gaze. “Yes?” Your tone rich with sarcasm as you stared back at him. “Anything actually going through that pretty head of yours Healy? What you thinking about?”

“Us.”

“Us?” You laughed. “What about us?”

“You remember my eighteenth birthday?”  He asked; peering up at you with a soft smile.

“The party?” Matty nodded. “I remember Ross stopping me from getting with Max! Remember him? I was gutted!”  You laughed. “Why?”

“You know that’s not what I meant?” Matty frowned slightly as he pouted at you.

“Of course I do.” You put your book down, your hands automatically reaching for what was left of his curls,“What about it?”

“You ever think about it?”

“Sometimes. Think we’ve done a fantastic job at keeping it from my brother! Especially with your big gob!”  You smiled down at him as you ran your hand through his curls gently.

“Funny!”  He sent a glare your way, causing you to laugh loudly at his attempt to be intimidating. 

“What’s got you thinking about that kiss from a million years ago anyway?”

“Wanking material.” He somehow managed to say without cracking smile.

It was your turn to shoot him a glare at his crudeness. It wasn’t long though until he was grinning up at you from his place in your lap. You pushed his head away from you in fake annoyance. God you couldn’t stand him sometimes!

“Ohh come on darling. I hear you sometimes! We all do it, you’ve got to think of something!” Matty tried to lighten the mood.

“Yeah I think about G’s 23rd birthday.” You smirked. Your vibrator was good but it wasn’t George. You couldn’t remember the last time you had a good orgasm and thinking it might have been before Michael makes you want to cry. Your confession/kind of a joke caused the grin to fall from his face and you almost felt bad, knowing he doesn’t want to hear about the incredible night you had with George because if anyone asked him, he absolutely did not want to relive it.

“I’m joking!” Your hand reached for his curls again. “Seriously though, what’s got you reminiscing about it. It’s been a long time.”

“Just thinking about how much I love you is all.” His confession made you stop. “What would have happened if we’d said fuck it and we ended up together.”

“I don’t think Ross would have been too happy. You saw how mad he got about G!”  You laughed nervously as you thought about stopping your brother from knocking his band mate out.

“He’d have gotten over it.” Matty was now leaning up on his arms, leaning forward to press a light kiss to your bikini clad torso before pressing several kisses in quick succession up your stomach until he was hovering over your chest and looking down at your face. “If we were happy, he’d have been happy. You know he would have been.”

His actions made you hold your breath. It being strangely intimate and probably the most intimate you’d been since you were teenagers. You wondered if he was actually going to kiss you again but he just looked down at you fondly.

“You know I’d do anything for you right?”  You nodded. “You’re one of the only people who makes me truly happy.  I’d literally go too far just you have you near. I’d go blind just to see you!”

You rolled your eyes at the dramatics of his statement but the sweet sentiment made you smile, you reached up to hold the side of his face in your hands. Your thumb sweeping over the apple of his left cheek. The pair of you just basking in the warmth of the sun and each other. Unsure how long you hadn’t said anything, Matty broke the silence in the most Matty way.

“Literally anything you need. I’ve got you for life sweetheart. A cuppa? A joint? An orgasm? I’m your man!” 

A chortle left your mouth as he cheekily beamed down at you, waiting for what he knew would be a somewhat sarcastic response. He didn’t realise he’d really set himself up for what you were about to say.

“Don’t worry I’m good. I’m seeing G tomorrow!”

The way his eyes narrowed at you made you cackle even louder as he finally jumped up off you, to walk back inside without another word. “I’m sorry!”  You laughed. “I promise not to shag George when I see him. I’m good with my vibrator I promise!”  You manage to sputter out through your laughter. “Stick the kettle on whilst you’re in there love.”  You shouted after him.

Matty threw you the middle finger over his shoulder which made you laugh even more as he went though the back door, Mayhem hot on his heels; knowing fine well he was going to put the kettle on and make you a brew just how you liked it because for as long as he can remember he’s never been able to say no to you and he didn’t think he’d ever will.

2023

The 1975 in Show and Concert was possibly your favourite tour that you’d been apart of with the boys. There was an accumulative of factors; the fact you weren’t the only girl on tour this time round, Carly had joined Adam with their son and Charli had come to as many shows as her own schedule permitted. You also had a little part to play at Matthew’s request (obviously!) donned in a white lab coat, you brought Matty a hot honey and lemon on stage every night and pottered about with the rest of the crew, making sure your brother and the rest of the band were all good before slipping off to watch the rest of the show from backstage.

Or it could have been that you and Matty were closer than ever. Ever since lockdown and the pair of you had been living together, everything seemed so simple that since restrictions were lifted, you just carried on living together. I think when George removed the last box of things from your old flat to take to Matty’s did it for him, that he just shook his head with a laugh. 

“You guys really are an old married couple!” He chuckled; slamming the boot close and jumping in the car before you could get a word in edgeways.

He wasn’t wrong, you guys did essentially everything together apart from have sex. Not that you hadn’t thought about it. Somewhere between moving into the studio with him and George and then your brother and Hann joining them to start recording their fifth studio album. You hadn’t shagged anyone in over a year and there was only so many times you could use your vibrator before you got bored and there wasn’t a cat’s chance in hell you were ordering a new toy to the studio because Matty didn’t have boundaries and absolutely would have opened it before you could even get the chance to get your hands on it.

You had also promised after day one; after one too many jokes and essentially mounting George at any given moment just to have him near you that you wouldn’t sleep with him. Even though a repeat of his birthday from seven years prior was literally so so temping to you! So what the hell were you going to do? The thought of dating apps made you want to vomit and hanging about bars really didn’t seem that appealing.

But Matty being Matty; was being overly affectionate one night after one too many glasses of red after a show, had the two of you giggling like teenagers and wondering if the two of you had gotten better at kissing since Matty’s 18th. Curiosity getting the better of the both of you, had you surging towards one another in a flurry of horniness after the kiss, was how you found yourself straddling his lap and snogging him like your life depended on it! Until you physically had to pull away to get your breath back and a rush of sense flashed through your brain. The two of you went to bed separately.

Neither of you spoke about it again.

Nor did you ever think about how the two of you were always drawn to each other no matter what shit storm was going on around you until now. You were just tying up the end of the UK leg of the tour, you and the band were in Ireland and Jamie had just told you that *The Scum* were running a horrendous article about Matty. This had in turn resulted in an argument after their penultimate show between the boys. 

You knew he did things in the heat of the moment whilst he’s on stage or says shit without thinking and it comes to bite him in the arse almost every time but he’d never do what they’re accusing him of on purpose.

But seeing your brother hurt by Matty’s stupid actions; the repercussions for not just himself but for the rest of the band, your brother, yourself just by association. It was enough for you to step in, in defence of your brother. He came before everyone else, every single time.

This you didn’t realise; had as big of an effect until you were stood frozen on stage in front of your brother, Matty in between you and Ross. Apologising to him, crying in front of thousands of people. How Ross hadn’t broke the facade and took him in his arms was beyond you because your brother’s face was currently blurry to you and he was stood a foot in front of you. Tears filled your brown eyes and were threatening to spill as Matty let his vulnerable side show in front of everyone. Something he never does.

You had done so well until he apologised once more; removing his hand from Ross’s arm and reaching behind him blindly to grab on to you. The tears automatically fell; the action enough to make Ross twitch in an ache to comfort you. Something he couldn’t do until the band had come off stage at the end of consumption.

After the final song of tour; the boys usually head on out for the after party. Tonight you had Matty back at the hotel in your room on his knees and begging for you. 

Begging for you to not leave him. Begging for you not to move out. Begging for you to stay by his side. Begging for you to still love him.

You furrowed your eyebrows as you looked down at the man in front of you; on his knees as his hands grasped at your legs, pulling you close as he hugged you as physically close as possible as he sobbed against your legs. Instinctively you reached for his curls, running your fingers through them softly.

“Baby. Look at me.” The softness of his curls tickled your thighs as he stayed pressed against you. “Matthew. Darling look at me.” 

You managed to loosen his grip enough to slide down on to your knees in front of him, taking a hold of his face in your hands as you eyes flitted across his face, smiling softly at him as he tried to calm himself down.

“I can’t lose you. I can’t lose any of you.” He shook his head, curls flying in front of his face. “But I can’t lose you darling. I can’t.”

“Matthew. Look at me. Why do you think you’re going to lose me? You’re never going to lose me. You’re kinda stuck with me!” You laughed. “And even if I decided to fuck off, my brother being your bassist kind of means I’m stuck with you anyway.” The grip on his face got tighter as his hands reached up to hold on to your wrists.

“But last night…”

“Ross and I just want you to use your brain sometimes before you do stupid shit! You’ve not lost either of us. I promise.”

“Promise?”

Your heart jumped into your throat at the swell of tears in his eyes and his lip quiver.

“Life. That’s how long you’ve got me for Healy. Promise.” As soon as you stopped speaking; Matty threw himself at you, arms around your neck and squeezing you so tightly you nearly stopped breathing. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you” Being repeated in your ear over and over as you squeezed him back, pressing your lips to the side of his face in consecutive kisses until he abruptly pulled away. Eyes red and looking at you so softly you thought he was going to cry again.

“I love you.”

“I love you too. You know I do.” You smiled at him warmly.

“No. It’s always been you.” He said as he reached for your hands and it felt like you had been hit in the chest. The sting of tears trickling up your face and threatening to fill your eyes as you silently took him in. You went to open your mouth but nothing came out.

“I know I always talk too much but just listen to me. I love you. Since we were kids I reckon, I was just too chicken to ever do anything.  When you kissed me on my 18th birthday. When you saw I needed help,  you saved my life sending me to rehab. Every day, I thought about getting home to you.  It’s what got me through every day. You make me a better man darling. When you take my shit when I don’t deserve it. When you make me a brew in the morning just how I like it. When you roll me a joint when you realise I’m too tense and in my head without me even having to ask. When you tell me to shut the fuck up before a situation escalates. When we go to big Tesco and walk the dog or do all the washing together. I fucking live for that shit because it’s with you. Fuck I’ve been writing songs about you for the past decade! You are intertwined with every era of this band sweetheart. I mean 60% of the last album is about you! ” He chuckled softly.

“What?” Managed to escape you in a gasp.

“Come on sweetheart. Some of this music has literally been out for ten years!”

“I - Just never - Why have you never said anything before now?” Your voice horse with frustration.

“I love your brother too much. But thinking I’d lost the two of you, just made me think fuck it. You deserve to know. You need to know.” Matty shrugged casually.

“That’s stupid.” Your deadpan tone, stunning him silent.

“Sorry?”

“Wasn’t it you that said to me that if Ross knew I was happy. That we were happy he wouldn’t care. He’d have gotten over it? And you’ve just subliminally been telling me you love me through music this entire time?”

“Yes?” 

You cocked an eyebrow at his hesitation, the questioning tone as your eyes flit across his handsome features. Cheeks tinged with pink due to his tears, his chest falling up and down rapidly at his confession as he awaited you answer. You still didn’t say anything, thinking about how to respond until you found the perfect response.

Surging forward you pushed your lips against Matty’s. Hands reaching for the curls you loved so much. Waiting for him to reciprocate felt like a life time but your Matthew was well equipped in the art of kissing you back so realistically it was 0.2 seconds after he had gotten over the shock.

You kissed him over and over again, not wanting to stop the feeling of how your lips moved against his, how his tongue felt against yours. You felt like you were on fire, he was intoxicating. He always was but fuck was he more than ever. Finally finding the strength to untangle yourself from him, chests heaving as you both got oxygen back in your lungs you said the words, the way he’d been wishing to hear for the past sixteen years.

“I love you too.”

When he was finally seen in public two days later on the eve of their Gorilla gig in Manchester. The fans noticed Matty was in higher spirits than he had been two days prior when his breakdown was caught on camera. You had been nervous to tell your brother but Ross claimed he already knew Matty was in love with you, he was just waiting to see if he’d actually grow some balls or not! Then he hugged you so tightly and whispered he was happy for the both of you, which in turn had you and Matty crying backstage in their green room as you found yourself in a 1975 sandwich! 

You don’t think you had seen Matty look so happy on stage in a long time. He loved touring but it was gruelling but seeing him on stage in this tiny venue with his best friends and his girl watching and waiting for him side stage. He couldn’t stop beaming. The fans noticed, the comments already flying in online about him. They increased tenfold when he jumped offstage, not waiting the ten second walk backstage before kissing you like his life depended on it.

The blurry picture of Matty holding your jaw in his hands as he kissed you in the shadows of the stage was on a 1975 update account within minutes.

Captioned: If you know you know. Finally 🖤

You were obliged to agree.

Also getting the middle one as a matching one with a friend of mine and I’m so excited ❤️

Chapter 26

Word count 2208

I think the only mentions for this one is maybe mentions of depression or inclination of it

THIS ONE IS WRITTEN FROM ROSS’ POV, AND I DONT KNOW HOW ITS GOING TO BE SO IF ITS BAD IM SORRY , I DONT RELALY KNOW ROSS BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT

Feedback is always welcome 🥰

Also thank you so much to all of you who are taking time out of your day to read this (I know there’s so many better fanfics out there , better written and all but ) I’m so thankful for those who are reading it

I also do blurbs as well if anyone has any ideas they might want to get to me

I feel like this might be a little trickier for me to write as I've never written anything from Ross'POV before so if this is terrible I'm so sorry .

Ross' POV

"What are we gunna do with you huh ?"

I felt Matty slightly shrug at my question as I slowly wrack my hands through his hair being careful but he still shock his head a little "please don't....it hurts" , he was shivering

"Are you cold?" , I felt him shake his head again at my question. "Do you need water?", again another shake if his head. This is going to be a long night. "What do you need mate?"

"George ...George doesn't...He was gunna call me tonight.can you...can you tell him that I might not be"

"Tell him on what" , I pull my phone out of my pocket being careful enough to try and not disturb Matty who was still resting on my lap

"Add his insta , bedforddanes75, just send him a message", so that I do , I add George but instead of waiting for the add back I send him a message straight away

Ross : Hey if this is the correct George , I'm Ross , Mattys best mate, I know you and Matty were supposed to call tonight but Matty isn't having the best of nights so he's with me , if you need anything please just gimme a shout and I'll see what I can do 😌

I then place my phone on the table beside me and turn my attention straight back to Matty "When was the last time you had a proper meal Matty ?", I'm scared to actually find out the answer at this point , I never realised how thin hed gotten until I was picking him up. He's so light

"Proper meal um .....I don't really know...I snack on stuff occasionally but ..I uh... I don't remember the last full meal I had"

"Right , I'm going to get you some food and water okay, can you stay ere for me?", I felt him shrug again against my leg. "What you trying to say mate?"

"Nothing, just not hungry but alright", I slowly removed him from my legs and tried to tuck him into the bed properly and made sure he was comfy enough. I snag my phone from the table beside him and give him a small peck on his temple "I love you mate"

"You too Rosso" ,

"Just shout if you need me okay"

"Mhm"

I make my way from the my room and quickly through to my mums just checking that there alright "you alright mum".

"I'm alright love, how's Matty doing?" , I slip into the room and close the door leaning against it. "I honestly have no idea at this point Mum"

"What's up with him like love?"

I scratch the back of my head really debating telling my mum about everything because I know she'll tell Denise but I've gotten to the point where I can't keep it together anymore and someone needs to tell Denise and Matty will never do it, so I slide down the door sat down next to it, something I've done since I was young always just sat at the door while I need to tell her something "He's on stuff Mum , like really deep in them and, I don't know if he knows how to stop, he was just messing around to begin with but it's gotten really bad, and it's not my place to tell Denise or Tim but someone needs to and I know he never will and I don't know how to help him anymore Mum but he really needs help."

"What stuff do you mean love, what's he taken"

"I don't know to the full extent because, I don't know how honest he is sometimes when it comes to it but, uh I think he's on coke and drinks a lot too, and weed , I mean I know I smoke weed but like all of it all the time it's just getting to much for him", I know I should trust him in what he tells me but he's just been so off lately and it's so difficult and everyone including himself is suffering and I just need to help him.

"And what do you mean by it just started off as messing around?, you haven't taken anything have you?"

"No I haven't myself , but I do know that uh Janey and Matty used to do stuff when they were just at parties and stuff but I never realised how bad it got for him, he never did it around anyone other than Janey or Corey I think"

"Do I know Corey?", my mum was sat up now on her phone probably about to contact Denise, because that's what mums do isn't it.

"No, I don't really know Corey myself he's a bit older than us but Matty met him at a party"

"Right , thank you my love, is there anything else that Denise would need to know?, anything else really?"

"I think she probably knows but he's really struggling at school , just having panic attacks all the time over the smallest things , but I think she knows that" , I rise up from my spot on the floor and quickly say goodbye to her as I feel like that might be the end of the conversation. Then make my way to the kitchen to make some food for him. Just some eggs on toast , protein might help. As well as a glass of water I make some tea for us both as well it'll calm him down. It takes about ten minutes to get everything ready. I load everything onto a tray and make my way back up to him, when I reach my room the first thing I notice is that Matty is somewhat quiet even in this state.

"Matty" , I push the door open and what I'm faced with is Matty fast asleep in my bed curled up into the blanket still fully clothed. I play the tray on the table next to my bed and just take myself over to the bed and sit next to him. I take out my phone again and see that I have a pending request and message from George.

George : oh hey Ross, thanks for telling me, what happened?

Ross: I don't really know what happened I didn't get the whole story, everything just kind of took a turn for the worst tonight.

George : what do you mean?? Is he okay? , is he awake can I see him?????

Ross: he's alright for now, he's asleep right now and I don't really want to wake him, I don't think he's stable right now

George: when he wakes up can you tell him I'm asking for him yeh ??

Ross: sure thing bro honestly , can I let you in on a little secret ??

George : sure

Ross: I think your gunna be really good for him , he ain't shut up about ya really and uh I think he really likes ya, but please don't hurt him

George : I'd never plan on hurting him, he’s really managed to crawl his way into my brain, I just hope he’s okay

Ross : I’ll keep an eye on him and keep you updated G

I place my phone back into my bedside table and carefully lay down properly and turn my tv on, putting on Simpson a just for background noise while I hold Matty through his tough time and just cradle his body on my arms occasionally telling him everything will be okay

After about another half an hour I can feel him storing in my arms so I release my grip a tiny bit “hey there you muppet”, He doesn’t move much but wraps his arms around me squeezing a little “are you okay?”

“My ead hurts Ross, like real bad”, he buries his head in the crook of my neck trying to hide from the light a little bit.

“Matty?”

“Mhm”

“What happened?, like really ?, can you be honest?” , as he’s leaning against me I can feel a tiny tremor coursing through his body

“I don’t think I can”

“Can’t what ?, tell me?”

“I don’t know what happened Ross I swear, I was fine then I wasn’t, that’s all there is too it”

“Can you at least tell me why you needed to do any of that stuff Matty?, like why did you feel the need to go out and get high again?”

“Everything is just so loud in my head, it’s like grey and cloudy , I see everything in greyscale basically, and I wanted to stop it like even for just a second, like you know when you wake up and like you can hear the birds chirping away and someone is cutting the grass down the road and there’s like sounds from people being busy round the house and it can be quite irritating when your trying to sleep well it’s like that in my head all the time, I can just hear everything, every annoying noise , everything buzzes or ticks , the static in the tv, the electricity running through everything and it’s annoys me so much makes it hard to concentrate and I just wanted to shut it up” , I can feel my shoulder start to get a little wet, indicating that Matty is crying again so I bring my arms around him properly again and hold him. “I just feel lost man….like everything is pushing me closer and closer to the edge everyday….some days I can cope with it ….but other days It just won’t go away”.

“But is nearly killing yourself the answer Matty!?”, I can’t imagine a world where Matty wasn’t in it, We’ve already lost one members of our little clique I don’t know if I’d cope with Matty gone too.

“I’m not gunna die Ross, I’ll be fine, I just don’t know how to deal with it sometimes, this is the only way I know” , Matty let’s go off me now, sits up and wipes his eyes harshly with the sleeve of his jacket. “I just want to feel like I’m not losing my mind”.

“Why can’t you tell people when things get to hard for you” , I adjust myself so I’m sat cross legged on the bed next to him looking at him, searching for any sign , literally anything that might tell me how he’s feeling.

“I try Rosso , but I just…I don’t know, I just feel like if I tell people they’ll try to stop me from doing what I need to do to feel better….and it’ll just make it worse” , Matty mirrors me my actions sat cross legged also but flings his jacket off and placed it in the space between us. “I’m so angry or upset all the time and I hate it , I just wanna be me again”

“You are you, you’ll always be Matty no matter how your feeling , your allowed to be angry , upset , stressed, but you don’t have to destroy yourself Mate, I know your finding stuff hard and I hate having to watch you go through it but I need you to know that your my best mate like ever and I can’t lose you” , we’re both crying now, I rarley cry but when it comes to serious stuff it makes me emotional and I know I’m going to lose it if this keeps happening. “You got some tea and food there can you try have some for me”

“Mhm”, I know he’s not going to have much of it and it’s gone cold but I need to see him eat even if it’s just for my own selfish reasons for my own peice of mind you know, he picks up the tray and starts picking away at the bread. “Ross ?”

“Yeh man”

“Did you tell George?, like what happened”

“No , I didn’t tell him what happened , you should do that , I just told him your having a bad night, and he was asking for you though , he seems like a good egg”

“He so is, would you mind if we called, he might cheer me up a little” , as he’s sipping on his tea I can tell that he’s still a little bit bouncy and I don’t know how to describe it maybe like scared , anxious is the word. “I mean not that your not doing a good job but like, I’d like for you to meet him too”

“Sure you can, but I need you to do one thing for me” , I want him to tell his mum what’s going on like fully , so we can all work on it together , help him through this bump in the road, get him the help he might need and we can get out Matty back.

“Yeh”

“Can you please tell your mum that your um ….I don’t know the word like … struggling with drugs”, he notice him out of the corner of my eye put his toast down as I say it. “Like I know it’ll be hard but she’s been where you are ….she might be a little better help than me and she’ll have better advice than me”

“Okay, but later okay”

Word counts : 1328

No warning for this really

Also I’m sorry this is so bad , I just needed a filler and wanted a small snippet and G and Hann then some sibling love , so this is just really random

BUT HOPEFULLY THERES ONE MORE CHAPTER LEFT THEN THE BOYS WILL BE TOGETHER I KNOW THATS WHAT EVERYONE HAS BEEN WAITING FOR

"When can I come see you?", We'd come off of the call a few hours ago as my dad had come home, we'd kept in contact all day though because I didn't want to leave him. I know he's been sat with his mum and brother since and he seems to be doing alright. He told me they all made dinner together and that he'd actually eaten something which is also really good.

Matty: Darlin, you can come whenever you'd like, when do your holidays start ?

I'm currently sat basically hanging out of my window with a joint in my hands, feeling like I just want to hold him. I've been thinking about it since he told me earlier and the more I think about it the more I just need to be there. I've given myself a headache thinking about it which is quite funny really. The joint is helping calm my nerves a little

George : I'm sure they start next week but you've got exams for the next month, I don't want to distract you?

I hate the feelings that I'm having right now, I've never really been a clingy person. When I'm with people I know then maybe I am , but just maybe. With Matty everything is different I don't quite understand what that means. I was never this clingy with Laura and we dated for so long. It makes my head swim, why is this so different to everything I've ever experienced before. Maybe this is what other people feel when there in love, you know how they describe it in this corny romance movies. This is maybe how Adam feel with Carly. I should ask him.

I pull up Adam's contact and press the call button waiting fidgeting with my lighter while I wait for him to pick up

Adam: Hiya G , you alright ?

George: Alright Hann, yeh I'm alright, I just really need to talk to you about something

Adam:  What's up G?

George : I need to ask you something but promise you won't take the piss okay?

Adam: When do I ever?

George: Never, but like I'd understand if you did with what I'm about to ask you

Adam: Just ask me G

George: Alright fine , you know before you got with Carlz how did you feel , like how did you know you liked her.

Adam: I don't know , I just liked her didn't I , like she was just always around and she made me happy I suppose

George: Did you ever feel like you wanted to be with her like all the time and just like I don't know , like feel emotional when she was upset or something even though wasn't your place too.

Adam: G I love you bro but I really don't know what your getting at, what are you trying to ask me?

George: Arghhh fuck

I wrack my hands through my hair and my nails scrape against my skull as I lightly pull on my roots like I'm trying to pull my thoughts from my brain

George: I'm just trying to understand what's going on in my head, I really really like Matty and I feel like I'm being so clingy and annoying and too much but ....I don't know if it's because I'm overthinking it because I like him or if it's because I just wish I could help him.

Adam: Why is being clingy a bad thing , and why is wanting to help him a bad thing?

George : I just don't want to be too much Ad !

Adam: Has the lad said your being too much ? Cuz if he hasn't then I'm sure everything is fine

George: No he hasn't said anything about being annoyed at me or anything but ....that doesn't mean he isn't , I just really like him ..... and like what if I get to much and when he's upset or something and it messes things up.

Adam: G, please trust me on this , I'm sure your doing an amazing job, okay!?

George: I'm trying to trust you, my heads just all over the place right now Hann, that's all

Adam: Give yourself a break man !,

George : I'll really try , but uh yeh I'm just gunna go now I've got stuff to do and gotta look after Gracey and Lucie , Thanks man , I know I'm being difficult but thank you!!

Adam: It's alright G , love ya man

“Geor !!!!!” Little Gracie came barging into my room just as I was finishing the call with Adam “there’s a spider in the bathroom Geo, fix it !!!”, I then say a quick goodbye to Adam again before hanging up and pick Gracey up holding her on my waist “there’s a Spider , is there ?”

“Yeh it’s so big, it’s like this big”, she indicates the size by stretching her arms out.

“Wow that is gigantic ay?” , I can just see her nodding with her little blonde ringlets bouncing. And she’s clinging to me as we make our way to the bathroom. “Can you show me where it is Gracey?”

“No no no , I don’t want to see it again, it’s just in there”, I let Gracey climb down from me as she stands at the bathroom door pointing at where she saw the creature “right there Geo”

After finding the perpetrator and setting it free outside obviously because you can’t kill it , no matter how scared you are of the things you can’t kill them according to little Gracey “it’s just mean to kill them” , even though she didn’t want to see it skittering around she had to check the tissue in my hand for evidence that I “hadn’t crushed it with my tree trunk hands”

Lucie had joined us at this point coming to see what all the commotion was about “what are you guys up too” , stood at the front door, homework in hand , looking like the proper little Miss that she is. “Is that a Spider ?”

“Yeah, Gracey was scared so I’m just setting it free”

“Why are you scared of it Gracey , it’s just an insect , even though your just little you’re bigger than it is so you would be more scary to it then you are if it?”

“When did you get so smart ay, your both so grown up , when did that happen”

“I’m 7 George , I’m a big girl now , but Gracey is only 5 she’s not a grown up yet”, Lucie is genuinely so grown up and would literally do everything by herself if she could , so grown up , short brown hair that used to be likely Graceys blonde ringlets. Blue eyes which is weird because we all have brown eyes. Shes even quite tall for her age, nearly tallest in her class. She’s so independent, knows so much about everything and anything. Where as Gracey just a little bundle of clingy and joyous giggles ; she looks up to me big time not the blow my own whistle but she wants to be just like me. There both so damn intelligent though.

“That’s very true Luce , let’s get back inside yeh , Gracey you can watch TV and I’m going to help Luce with her homework okay?”

“Oki Geo”

“George I don’t need help, it’s just reading”

I hurdle them back inside after closing the door, I set up CBeebies up on the TV for Gracey and pull Lucie up in my lap as we sit down, she does thrash around a little trying to get me off her but she settles “I know it’s just reading Luce, but I want to see how good you can read it can you do that for me?”

“You know I can George”

I need to discuss this with somebody , cuz I feel like I’m going insane and it’s infuriating me , for like I want to say for at least the last week everytime I’ve said something to anyone they can’t hear me and it takes like 3 times for me to say it till they hear me but I feel like I’m shouting and it’s so mad , idk if it’s an adhd thing but I feel like I’m speaking loud and clearly but everytime there like “what you saying speak up” it just makes me not want to repeat myself or just in general makes me not want to speak , anyone have any tips for this

Chapter 33

Mention : I don’t really think there’s much (mention of food issues , weed and slight smut but I’m not sure if anything else I can’t remember)

Word count : 3.8K

I really enjoyed writing this omg , I really hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did we’ve all been waiting for it

Matty's POV

Matty: George got off the train no hassle , we're going to have a smoke then make our way back to the car

Tim: that's alright son , take your time.

We're now sat in the smoking area , I'm sure George has his own smokes but as I'm taking mine out I offer him one from my carton , and offer him my lighter too. Again I'm sure he has his own but it's nice ain't it. He was shaking a little and I nudged him and gave him a knowing look.

"I'm nervous Matty, what if they don't like me?" , he brung the cigarette to his lips, inhaling a long drag and I watched his cheeks hollow out before he expelled the smoke. He then smiles at me and I tentatively take his hand in my mine again, hopefully not pushing any boundaries. His hand grows tighter around mine and he sits closer to me closing the mere centimetres that we're between us.

"Darlin, I'm sure everyones gunna love you" , I bring his hand up to my lips again and softly kiss his knuckles. "You're amazing , you're beautiful, you're funny , and you keep me sane man". I take another quick drag of my cigarette in unison with George, I can feel him looking at me "what's up darlin?"

"I don't want to be weird .....and you....you can say no....but can I kiss you?" , he looked like a deer in headlights as the words were slipping from his mouth and I couldn't help but smile at him and let out a little chuckle. "I mean ....I guess ...nevermi"

"Darlin , shush , yes you can, you can kiss me as much as you like" , with that being said I felt his hand leave mine and come up to my face as he pulled me into him softly and kissed me, he tasted like smoke and coffee and something that I feel like is just George you know. We stay like this for a couple minutes just separating to gain our breath back. "Your a good kisser", I can feel the blush on my cheeks radiating from me again and I chuckle.

"You are too" , the smile that was displayed on his face was most likely identical to mine , looking like love sick teenagers. I gave him another quick peck on the cheek then we both dropped out cigs, linked our hands and began to make our way back to the car, his grip on my hand got a little tighter as we reached the car park "Matty promise me it's gunna be okay"

"What's gunna be okay darlin ?"

"Me being there , I'm not gunna be in the way am I, I'm not gunna mess things up right?" , he pauses just before we properly reach the car and pulls me back a little the fear clear on his face.

"George I promise , everything will be amazing okay , I know it's easier to say then do but please stop worrying , I promise everything will be grand, just remember I'm always right there", I squeeze his hand sent a quick smile his way and slowly pull him to the car , my dad got out the driver seat and started greeting George "Hiya lad , how was your trip", I watched George shake my dads hand as I took his case and dropped it into the boot of the car

"It was alright thanks Mr Healy , wasn't too long" , as I leaned on the back of the car watching the interaction take place I couldn't help but think George looks so awkward trying to be formal with my dad it was kind of funny. " The train was delayed by like five minutes but it didn't really matter", my dad did eventually tell him that it was okay to just call him Tim, we all then just trundled into the car George and I in the back and my dad in the driver seat as we sped away.

"Hey Matty ?", George said as we'd been on the road for roughly five minutes.

"Yeh?"

"How long roughly till we get to yours?"

"25 minutes depending on the traffic , why ?, what's up?" , we'd both just been taking pictures of each other you know being cheesy and the smile on our faces hadn't left since we saw each other.

"Kinda really have to pee, but it's fine"

"Why didn't you go in the station , or on the train ,you melon?", I couldn't help the smirk on my face he really is a numpty.

"We'll you know public transport don't fancy that really , just can never trust those transport toilets" , he was laughing to himself as he said it "and well at the station I was a little preoccupied was I not ?"

"Yeh we were a little preoccupied BUT you have a pretty mouth there , that makes very good sounds you could have said" , I couldn't help staring at his lips while saying that they really are so pretty.

"Nah I was too busy , it's alright though", our hands met in the middle console of the car, " Is Lou excited ?"

"Aww man , he's actually buzzing , been asking all day, he was supposed to come with us but he fell asleep, he's expecting you to play with him when we get back so be prepared for that" , his grip on my hand got tighter as he smiled back at me .

"You know I'll play with him anytime he wants, but I wanna spend as much time as I can with you, what days are your Exams on?", I missed what he'd said it took me a second to process the words because I couldn't help but just get lost in his eyes, so pretty , deep brown , like chocolate cake. When I noticed him just staring at me with such a wacky smile on his face , I snapped out of my haze.

"Sorry ...uh I think... Wednesday morning ....Thursday afternoon and Friday afternoon aswell ....but there only a few hours each" , my cheeks where burning again because I was caught just staring at him again "sorry"

"Why you sorry love, you've got to do them and your going to do amazingly and you've got me , I can help you study, if you need me too" , he leans over and kisses my cheek , while whispering if my ear "obviously if there's time after all the other studying I'm going to be doing"

"George", I track my eyes from his face to my dad as if to say shush my dad can here you. "Not the place", I was still smiling either way.

"So....does it really matter Im sure he knows anyways", he adjusts himself again in the seat once pulling away from me.

"You doing alright there ?", I smirk up at him after I compose myself

"Yeh all good", he pulls the camera up on his phone and asks me to get in shot with him and we take a picture with us both in it , first one of many in the week to come. "See you're gorgeous Matty"

"No , I think your possibly looking at yourself there darlin" ,

After another five minutes , my dad pulls up outside the house and I tell George where here , I also tell him that the door should be open so just make his way upstairs I'll get his bags in

"My rooms upstairs second door on the left and I've got the en-suite so just go ahead"

"Thank fuck", he jumps out of his side and make his way in as I wander off to the boot pulling his suitcase out as I watch him run inside, I'm not to far behind him after thanking my dad for driving us and then also make my way upstairs I spot George standing at my door with it wide open and he looks a little pale

"The toilets just there", I point to the other door at the corner off my room , but I see him just shake his head as I step into my room and pull his suitcase onto my bed "George what's up "

"What is that" , I follow his line of sight over to where he's looking and I then realise he looking at my snake enclosure

"It's okay George shes just my snake" , I leap up from my bed and walk over to the enclosure and wait for her to slither up my arm and tentatively walk over to George "Don't be scared , she won't hurt you, I promise, come say Hi"

He doesn't move an inch just frozen on the spot with his mouth agape, "uh , I don't think that'll be happening Matty , Snakes are scary as fuck man", He moves around the door and slips into the bathroom. "I'll be back in a second"

I put the snake back into the enclosure and flop down onto my bed while I wait for George to come back , which only take a minute or so , I hear the door click as it opens and George comes bouldering over and jumps onto the bed grappling me into a hug and kisses all over my face. "Hi there love"

"Hiya darlin , you feel better now ?" , I roll us over and I'm straddling his hips as I play with his hair sighing as I do , twisting a few strand through my fingers .

"I'm alright love , but for the love of everything that is holy , please don't come anywhere near me with that snake , I know it's the most irrational thing ever but snakes are scary" , he looked genuinely scared when I saw him stood at the door so he's probably not kidding and I'm not going to push it, so I just smile at him nodding

"I won't don't worry handsome , if she scares you that much I'll just keep her in there" , he pulls me into him softly with one of his hands on my hip as the other travel to my back kissing me softly on the lips , something I could get used too. I place my hands on either side of his cheeks rubbing my thumbs softly as we get lost in each other.

We're lost in each other for what feel like five minutes , then we here a light tap on the door and it opens slowly " Maffu is Geor...." , Louis doesn't finish his sentence as he lays eyes in George and comes running over and jumps into the bed "Hiya Georgie"

"Hi lad" , George sits up properly and I climb off of him so Louis can give him a hug, "did you have a good nap, it looks like you did ay", he ruffles his hair a little trying to flatten it , I watch on with amazement as I watch my two favourite boys get on.

"It was good but I'm awake now so I can play, you can play right ?", I do want us to hang out all together but I also do just want to nap next to George for a while because 1 hour of sleep in like the last day and a half is starting to get to me.

"Hey kiddo , do you think it would be okay if we played after dinner , because we're a little tired and we're going to have a little nap"

"Aww but you said we could play when George comes" he turns around on George's knee to look at me

"I know kiddo , I'm sorry , it shouldn't be too long, just after dinner"

"Pinky promise!" , we link our pinkies together as way of a promise because I can't even break a promise and Louis knows this, he then hugs George one last time and slides from the bed, running out of the room again. George looks at me with those damn pretty eyes of him "you tired babe ?"

"Little bit yeh"

He sticks his arms out and makes grabby hands at me as he lays back down again , I lay down next to him resting my head on he's chest and he wrap his arms around me "get some sleep yeh , you've gotta be shattered you didn't sleep last night"

"Can you play with my hair , it'll help"

"You know I will handsome",  his hands star slowly running through my hair as I hold him tightly feeling my eyes drops "sleep tight handsome" , before I drift off I feel George plant a kiss on my head.

————————————xx——————————————

George's POV

While Matty slept I decided to post the photo of us that I'd taken onto my story captioning it "I'm in Manchester for the week , seeing this cutie" , then decide to text Adam for a bit while Matty sleeps

George : alright Hann , I made it okay

Adam: that's great lad , how is it

George : he's actually so cute Ad like seriously , and from what I've seen his dad seems chill , his little brother is just as excited to see me , I think it's going to be great

Adam: that's amazin, so I know you've only been there like an hour or so but anything fun to tell me yet

George : Jesus Hann , we just kissed that's all but uh yeh I think I might actually wanna be with him yanno , like I knew that anyway , but he's so pretty Hann

Adam: so when can I meet him , to make sure he's right for my best mate

George : maybe next time ??

Adam: have you guys made any plans for the week or just winging it ??

George : I don't actually know yet , I know I'll be going to see his mates Ross and Jamie at some point I don't know anything else , we didn't really plan anything , or if he has , he ain't said .

Adam: we'll I'll leave you too it , but keep me updated yeh , and you know I'm here if things get weird or whatever

George: thanks lad , I'll talk to you later.

I drop my phone back onto the bed , slip from Matty's grasp making my way to the suitcase and pull out a present I had gotten for him, place it on the bottom of the bed. The wrapping paper is black and have geometric white boxes all over it. I pull a hoodie on over my shirt and slip into some joggers. Once I'm changed I take a quick look around his room , my eyes instantly falling on his drum kit a silver "Yamaha Rydeen" set in the corner of his room , where he had a few acoustic guitars set up on the stands around it and two Electronic Guitars up on the racks on the wall , one in bubblegum pink and the other Race-car red as well as a banjo on his dresser, every single part of his room was covered in band posters , movie posters scattered all over the place. I take a seat on the small drumming stool behind the kit at first I feel like a giant on the chair my knees basically nearly touching my chest so I adjust it , it squeaks loudly it makes me cringe as I watch Matty slightly stir in his sleep but he doesn't wake which is okay. I search for some drum sticks the brush type so that it's not to loud. He also had the covers on them. I just spend some time mucking about on them , not using the kick drum felt forgein while still using the snares but I don't want to wake him.

I spend about an hour just messing about on the drums and a while on the banjo which in turn accidentally wake Matty "Georgie , what are you doing?", his voice sound gravelly and he's rubbing his eyes and he sits up. So pretty

"Sorry did I wake you?" , I place the sticks back were I found them and make my way back over to Matty "I'm sorry if I did handsome"

"Nah you didn't wake me , I just don't sleep for very long you know", he stretches his arms out and inviting me in for a hug so I just pull him into a tight hug.

"Did you sleep okay?" , I pull the ringlets of his hair on the nape of his neck and let it spring back into place "you're so cute with that just woken up face you know?"

He buries his fave in my chest as he shakes his head a little , his hair falling over his eyes "what we're you doing ?"

"Just checking out your instruments , you've got some pretty cool gear there", I pointed up to the pink guitar in the wall that I'd been pulled to a few times since noticing it but didn't move it because I don't want to accidentally break it. "That one's pretty cool , when did you get that".

"The pink one ?, I got that myself a few months ago, I saw in a music shop in town and I thought it was really awesome, and the guy in the shop let me play it for a while and it just sounded amazing" , he took a hold of my hand that was pointing at the guitar and pulled it to his lips and kissed my knuckles, "that fight you had must have been a really hard one darling , your hands are still bruised from it" , he kisses each knuckle individually "are ....you...okay ....what ....about ....the others kid" each word punctuated with a kiss.

The blush that had been on my face continued to burn my cheeks " I broke his nose, I always forget I'm stronger than I feel sometimes , but that lad deserved it like, I don't know what he expected" , I turn to Matty with my free hand on his jaw and kiss his lips. "I'm fine though and I'm sure he is too" , We break from the kiss and I see the present on the bed "Oh I got you a present" , I break away from his hold so I can reach for it, I place it in his lap and we both sit cross legged across from each other and our knees press together "there only little but I thought you'd like them".

He marvelled at the wrapping paper for a second before tearing into it, "You didn't have to you know?", the first thing he pulled out was a grey "Santa Cruz" hoodie and his eyes lite up when he pulled it out "Man this is so cool , and Jesus it's soft" , he immediately pulled it over his head and I may have picked a size to big because he was drowning in it but by Christ does he looks cute, the next thing where the two hats I'd picked, I had bought one and my mum had made the other , a grey and greeen "Land Rover" hat but the words had been rearranged and some missing so it looked like it said "Lover" and the other was a little white and black rabbit hat. "George this is so cute , who made this", he pulled the bunny hat (the sincerity hat) on slightly squint on his head, his curls where still noticeable under it.

"My mum makes them, my little sister wanted one , but I also thought it would be something you might like so I asked her to make you one", Matty surges forward throwing his arms around me as we fall back against the bed mumbling “Thank you” over and over into the crook of my neck.

“It’s okay love honestly , I’m glad you like them”

“I love them George seriously, wait hold on” , he gets up quickly and makes his way over to his wardrobe and pulls out a few things , “I didn’t get you anything but I did say you could have a few of my hoodie if you like so uh yeh , here picks the ones you like” , there was the fluffy cardigan that he always wears and I know there’s a story behind that and he’ll struggle to part with that , along with a red , yellow and red striped sweater , a few band hoodies and a worn blue Nike hoodie that looks like it would also drown him out, I’m immediately drawn the the Nike one since it looks to be quite worn meaning he wears it a lot so I reach out to grab it but I’m still looking at the fluffy cardigan. “ You can have the cardigan you know darling if you would really like it , as well as the hoodie , I don’t mind”

“The cardigan is special to you , I know you and I see how you are with it” , I look up at him stood at the end of the bed and his hoodie sleeves are resting over his hands and one hand is in his mouth as he’s biting on his nails. Something he does when he’s nervous.

“It was Janey’s , I stole it from her once upon a time I said I’d give it back and just never did, but eventually even she agreed I suited better , but I REALLY want to give it to you , so you can feel just as good as I do when I wear it , feel the security I guess” , he climbed back onto the bed and passed it to me “like seriously , It’s okay”

“I promise I’ll look after it” , I gently pull him back onto my lap , kiss his face, each cheek and then his lips. “I promise to look after you too handsome”

Matty’s head was swiftly back in the crook of my neck, his hair tickling my face and I feel his teeth graze my neck sending a shiver down my spine “Is this okay George” , I nod and slide my hand up to tangle in his hair to keep him there and he begins to nibble and suck into the sweet spot on my neck. I pull his hair lightly so I don’t hurt him just to pull him off me.

“Don’t start something if we can’t start something love”

“Who says we can’t , I can lock the door”

“Is that really the first impression , we want to give your parents IVE only been max four hours love” , my hand in his hair is still playing with his girls and he’s leaning into and his eyes and falling closed again.

“It’s okay , honestly, we don’t have to though if you don’t want to obviously”, I could feel myself growing hard with him on my lap and I could see it in his eyes he wanted too.

“We don’t have to go all the way right now , right ?”

“No darlin, what did you have in mind instead”, I pretend to think for a while because really I know exactly what I’d like but the back and forth is very fun too.

My hand wanders under the hoodie he’s wearing and I slightly pull in the waist band of his jeans to bring him even closer to me “head sounds good to me”

“George you’re as good as me darlin”