Sleepy-fool - I-think-thoughts

she is a breathtaking constellation of gleaming stars in the midnight dark of my life

I’m literally started a reread today and I was like “omg what? Neil is this bad?” I couldn’t stop laughing

funniest indicator of neil’s exy progression (& his development into his bitch self) is him going from ”nicky and aaron are sooo good! i can’t believe I get to play exy with them!” in tfc to being like ”nicky fucking sucks at exy and if i ever have to see aaron again it will be too soon” in tkm

When the day finally came that Jean Moreau and Neil Josten stood side by side on the Olympic court, it was weird. Not for them, of course, they had kept in close contact since the nest and had been looking forward to finally playing on the same team again. It wasn't weird for Kevin or Andrew either, both were used to Jean and Neil's borderline codependent relationship. It wasn't even weird for Jeremy, who got used to the fact that his boyfriend came with a 5 foot three red-haired accessory rather quickly. 

No, it wasn't weird for any of them. It was only weird to the public and the other members of the Olympic team. 

The general public had had years to get used to the dynamic of Kevin Day and Neil Josten. The two had left the nest in rapid succession, and both ended up on the Foxes. While there was much speculation and interview after interview, no one could ever quite grasp their relationship. 

The press and the public got used to silent conversations, exchanged at a glance, to Neil invading Kevin's space to whisper in another language, the taller man not even reacting as he answered with the same expression he'd had before. They got used to Neil being glued to Kevin's side, on the court, on the bench, even in the off-season. 

Then there were the weirder things. Neil was spotted a few times asleep with his head on Kevin's shoulder or lap. None of the Foxes seemed to question this, so the public speculated it must just be due to growing up together. Then there were Kevin's affectionate smiles that were only directed at Neil. And Neil almost always looked to Kevin when he was uncomfortable with interview questions, which was always followed by Kevin stepping in. 

Then there was the sharing.

Food, water bottles, sweat towels, Neil taking Kevin's phone from his pocket whenever Kevin was too distracted to acknowledge Neil's presence, not to mention the countless Paparazzi photos that side by side showed the shared hoodies, T-shirts, and other accessories. The two shared so much in fact that before Neil confirmed his relationship with fellow Fox, Andrew Minyard, most exy fans (for better or worse) had assumed Neil and Kevin were a couple. 

And while Jean had followed Kevin and Neil from the nest not long after they left, he did not join them on the East Coast; instead, he headed to California to join the Trojans there. Kevin and Neil voiced their support of Jean's choice separately and together, praising the Trojans for supporting Jean during his transition from Raven to Trojan. Jean, in turn, spoke affectionately about his former teammates, if rarely, and as the years passed, the fact that the three men had once played together for the Ravens faded to the back of everyone's mind. 

Until Jean joined Neil and Kevin on the Olympic field, and it all came back. 

The odd closeness, the silent conversations, the sharing, whispers in French and other languages, and most familiarly of all, Neil being glued to Jean's side. It was evident on the court, in interviews, on the sidelines. Except this was so much more than Kevin and Neil had ever been. 

The two move together in an uncanny way, as if they were unconsciously linked. Kevin was usually nearby, but Neil and Jean were just different. Their team saw it more than anyone else and agreed it was unsettling. 

Multiple teammates witnessed Jean stealing bites of Neil's food right off the striker's plate, and when asked about it, Neil casually explained he was poisoned once, and sometimes Jean still worries. This led to a conversation about why exactly Jean, essentially being Neil's poison tester, was a good idea, and Neil just shrugged. The chances of there being any poison were basically zero, and if it made Jean feel better, why would Neil stop him? No one knew how to answer that, and Kevin agreed with Neil, so the subject was dropped.

There is so much casual physical contact between the two men that several of their Olympic teammates questioned if Jean and Neil were actually dating each other rather than Andrew and Jeremy. Jean automatically taking Neil's arm to direct him as he walks whenever Neil is wrapped up in whatever he's talking about (usually exy) or casually lying across Neil's lap when they watch a movie. Neil, leaning into Jean's space, or tugging the taller man down to whisper in his ear.

And Jean is clearly in perfect synch with his red-haired shadow, no matter what Neil needs. Neil won't even speak sometimes; he just makes vague noises, and Jean will reach down the coffee tin from the top shelf or shift how he's sitting so Neil can curl up next to him. Kevin sometimes joins them, and sometimes Andrew will, but it's not unusual to find Jean reading with a sleeping Neil curled up against him. And if Neil goes too quiet and Andrew isn't already by his side? Everyone knows to find Jean immediately. 

Jean's care for Neil isn't one-sided, either. Neil can cook three things, and all three dishes are Jean's favorites. He knows Jean's wardrobe better than Jean does and makes sure that if anything needs to be replaced, it is. He can sense when Jean needs a break and will either suggest a walk or suggest they find Jeremy. And if Jeremy isn't around and Jean is upset? Find Neil as fast as possible.

Neil brings Jean out of his shell, and Jean can withstand Neil's rage (rare though it is now). On more than one occasion, Jean simply picked Neil up and carried him away from the opposite team while Neil continued to yell in multiple languages. Usually, Jean takes Neil to the goal and stands guard while Neil has a conversation with Andrew, but sometimes he simply holds Neil in the air until the striker has calmed down.  And despite Neil's fury, not once did he land a hit on Jean. 

(That was something all three former Ravens were very careful about. Anger was never directed at each other, whether that was simply raised voices or more physical frustrations. That wasn't to say they never disagreed. It was just that disagreements were calmly discussed, and the three never argued.)

The team gradually got used to the weird dynamic, collectively deciding that if the boyfriends were okay with it, they could be, too. Until the incident. 

Jean was discussing strategy with the team captain after practice when Neil came up behind him. Their captain nodded in greeting, not surprised that Jean's shadow had shown up, and continued talking. His trailed off mid-sentence, however, when Neil began to climb Jean like a jungle gym! 

And Jean didn't react! He picked up where the captain left off, as if oblivious to the 5-foot-3 man currently climbing up to his shoulders. Actually, that wasn't completely true. Jean unconsciously shifted his weight to keep his balance and put a hand on his hip, giving Neil both a foothold and a handhold as he climbed. Neil settled on Jean's shoulder, and Jean reached up to pat Neil's leg absently. Neil hummed in response, crossing his arms across the top of Jean's head and resting his chin on them. 

It wasn't until their captain didn't answer Jean's question that he realized the man was staring. 

"What's wrong?" Jean asked, mildly concerned. 

"He just... And you... He climbed you like a tree!!" 

Jean chuckled. 

"He does that." 

"Why??" 

"He likes to be tall sometimes," Jean said it as if it was obvious.

"Of course he does," their captain said faintly.

And that was the day the team gave up trying to even attempt to understand Jean and Neil. 

No yeah. This is so real. Kevin would just show up to their house (he has a key) and be like “guys can we go get food.” Andrew’s already throwing the car keys at Neil’s head and grabbing his wallet.

Andreil being monogamous, but letting Kevin into their relationship because he is... Kevin. Kevin is different from the rest. He is their princess. You want clothes? Yeah, of course, we'll take you shopping. You pick whatever you want. We'll pay for it even if you can afford to buy the whole shop. You feel like eating out? We'll get the car keys right now. Your wish is our command, princess.

I will never ever deadname a person but goddammit I will deadname Twitter until the day I die

every time i see an add for those loop earplug things i always think it’s a cock ring at first

neil rlly does spend a lot of time insulting andrew's height in tfc for a guy who is 3 inches taller and also cant see the top of the fridge / reach the top cupboard / be at other people's eye level

ugh (with want)

This is the most surface level thought about Even In Arcadia but I really appreciate that the songs are long.

Artists are writing shorter and shorter songs to compete in the attention economy and are even writing based around a short snippet they hope will go viral on TikTok.

The shortest song on Even In Arcadia is Past Self at 3:35. A full 5 songs are over 6 minutes long.

Sleep Token, who *had* that taste of viral TikTok fame themselves, looked at current trends in music and went "hmm. No thank you."

The alchemical notation for Aqua Regia, I see you fuckers (affectionate)