*sirius And James Having A Discussion In The Afterlife*

modern au: the marauders all live and study together at a muggle university, but they’re going through ‘two weeks’ of online classes.

marlene: *bursts into the living room, laptop in hand where james, sirius and dorcas are sitting*

marlene: WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LEAVE THE MEETING?

sirius: THE TA TRIED TO PUT ME IN A BREAK OUT ROOM WITH STRANGERS AND IM NOT HAVING ANY OF THAT.

marlene: COME BACK TO CLASS, YOU PUSSY.

sirius: IF YOU’RE GONNA CALL ME A PUSSY, YOU BETTER PUT ‘EATER’ AFTER IT. MY WAY- MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY!

remus: *unmuting himself and speaking*

remus: sirius, you’re gay and marlene, learn how to mute yourself.

HC:

all the marauders got matching “the marauders are here” tattoos over their hearts.

but before betraying the potters, peter had the “are” on his chest crossed out and replaced with “were”.

sirius confronting peter after betraying the potters.

sirius: i knew you were trouble when you walked in.

james in heaven: SO SHAME ON ME NOW!

sirius, singing his little heart out with james’ hair brush: got a long list of ex-lovers, they’ll tell you i’m insane.

remus: they don’t have to tell me, i can see it from a mile away.

james and remus watching sirius and regulus fight because one stared at the other for a bit too long.

james: i don’t get why those two are so angry all the damn time.

remus: short people are closer to hell.

plot: sirius is texting remus and james while he’s at a family gathering.

sirius: fuck me i hate it here.

remus: isn’t that lovely.

sirius: feeling h i g h k e y judged by some boomers for my band-tee.

james: well, you would’ve been judged whether you wore it or not.

sirius: BAHAHA FUCK-

remus: there’s this thing, idk if u know it, but it’s called the subtle art of not giving a fuck.

sirius: yeah no, i prefer to not give any fucks loudly and boldly.

remus, replying to himself: it’s very low key, i have it, and it saves me.

james: forget them, they’re probably reptiles anyways.

sirius: yeah, no, they’re too unsuccessful to be reptiles, but their dry skin is really backing up your point there prongsie.

sirius: OKAYGTGTHEYRESUMMONINGME.

lily rejected james for the 700th time, and he ran out of tissues to cry into.

james: *tears out a page from ‘the song of achilles’ and wipes his tears*

remus, only noticing the book cover and james’ crying: yeah…i get why you’re crying, that book is pretty fucking sad.

james: my love life is pretty fucking sad too, moony.

plot: regulus is talking to sirius about his new boyfriend.

regulus: i’m trying to come up with a new nickname for him, but nothing’s sticking with me.

sirius: alright, what reminds you of him? like something pleasant.

regulus:

regulus: …rugs.

sirius: what?

regulus: i like…rugs.

regulus: rugs are fluffy, they sometimes come in cute shapes too. he’s pretty cute, and he’s got fluffy hair.

sirius: you’re nicknaming your boyfriend after a type of carpet?

regulus: rug…reg and rug…rug and reg…i like it.

sirius: *groans into a pillow*

from a fellow neurodiverse & nonbinary & prospective convert lesbian:

happy lesbian lovers day! 💖

[ ID: The “I wish all…” Bugs Bunny meme reading: I wish all black lesbians, trans lesbians, asian lesbians, nonbinary lesbians, jewish lesbians, he/him lesbians, muslim lesbians, fat lesbians, neurodiverse lesbians, and disabled lesbians a very pleasant and safe lesbian visibility day. ]

he said we were endgame, turns out we were just infinity war.