Modern Au: The Marauders All Live And Study Together At A Muggle University, But They’re Going Through

*sirius struggling in the kitchen at 3 am.*

remus: what’s going on, love?

sirius: trying to rip the slutty little fishnets off my damn oranges.

sirius: what did i ever do to you?

remus: *pulling out a list* i thought you’d never ask.

hi my lovelies!!

i hope you’re enjoying the account as much i enjoy posting on it.

happy new year, and thank you all so so much for your support, it really means the world to me 🤍🤍

i just wanted to clarify that this is an anti-JKR, anti-dumbledore, and anti-snape account.

and that’s all! have a great day my lovelies <33

sirius confronting peter after betraying the potters.

sirius: i knew you were trouble when you walked in.

james in heaven: SO SHAME ON ME NOW!

james: *holding up his smudged glasses* reg, darling, can you get me something to clean my glasses with?

regulus: sure. *stands up and walks over to sirius, rips his shirt off his back, and gives the torn piece to james*

james: *cleaning his glasses* thank you, my love.

sirius black had a fear of needles (but not when it came to piercings and tattoos). so naturally, he always refused to take blood tests.

remus: blood tests are very important sirius, we need to know which vitamins you lack and what’s going on in the junk food dumpster you call a body.

sirius: here for a good time, not for a long time.😗✌️

plot: regulus and sirius are secretly on the facetime with each other.

regulus: mother says that my “night time calls have to stop” she thinks i’m being too disruptive while she and father are trying to sleep.

sirius: aren’t old people supposed to be, i don’t know…hard of hearing? like, what’s up with the spidey sense luv? you tryna sleep or eavesdrop?

regulus: *bursts out laughing, eventually losing balance and falling off his chair*

sirius: *bursts out laughing at regulus, and ends up falling off his bed*

both of them stayed on their floors, staring at each others’ foreheads in the camera frame, wheezing with laughter for about 10 minutes.

james: *is laying on the floor with a clear quartz stone on his head*

james: i do not chase, i attract, what belongs to me will simply find me.

sirius: *peeks his head into the dorm room*

sirius: james, come say hi to regulus in the common room.

james: HI — IM JAMES BUT YOU PROBABLY ALREADY KNOW THAT — IM THE BEST CHASER HOGWARTS HAD EVER SEEN — I LIVE TO CHASE.

headcanon:

sirius black LOVES $uicideboy$ and listens to them religiously.

sirius also keeps a shrine for ruby and $crim right next to the shrine he made for himself.

plot: the slytherins are failing to get into the gryffindor common room to get sirius and james who just pulled another prank on them, while the two potter boys blast “insane in the brain” by cypress hill.

james: *dancing on a table* cops, come and try to snatch my crops.

sirius: *twerking by the portrait hole* these pigs wanna blow my house down.