Sielutonlampikana - Hi

Jason Todd has " Thomas and Martha Wayne stan" on his birth certificate, actually

I always wonder whether Batfam fans really get just how fucking rich the Waynes are. Like of course we shy away from thinking about the fact that we're talking Musk and Bezos money, and focus on how Bruce funds the freaking Watchtower and has what is functionally a high-tech military base and lab and the world's most expensive vehicles. But this is the one time you don't have to factor in the implications of wealth-hoarding, so there's nothing preventing y'all from understanding exactly how much money we're talking about here.

For instance, there doesn't seem to be any concept of how palatial Wayne Manor is, simply going by the outer facades of it that appear in the comics and movies. Or how decadent the lifestyles that accompany that kind of ancestral home. Alfred couldn't run that place on his own even if he had super powers, which is why even the movies occasionally show a rotating probably-temporary staff in the background. The house probably has like 3 hundred-foot pools. Their garden is a protected heritage park.

The Waynes are 10x richer than Crazy Rich Asians. They buy and wear the jewelry worth hundreds of millions that belonged to royalty. They own private islands. The art in the house alone is worth more than the GDP of a small country. They went to school with like every US President since Teddy Roosevelt and still think the Rockefellers are new money. They're personal friends with Beyonce and can get her to perform at private parties. They can rent out an entire three-star Michelin restaurant and fly out to one for every date. They have top-line penthouse apartments in every major city in the world. They can buy a luxury sportscar instead of hiring a vehicle anywhere they visit and then just toss the keys to the nearest person on their way out (Arab royalty is known for this appearently. There's been some very lucky parking valets in the UAE iirc).

Bruce is as rich as Ra's Al Ghul, regularly make social calls to heads of state and his family has a history of being king-makers. Every one of Bruce's children, from Dick to Jason to Cass, is poised to inherit one of the largest and most powerful fortunes in the world. That means every time Bruce adopts an orphan off god-knows-where, the entire global elite is thrown into consternation and horror. Even Tim is barely acceptable to these people because he doesn't have the pedigree. I don't follow the reboot comics so Idk if Duke is adopted, but it would be so fucking funny if he was because they'd react a lot like the British establishment did to Meghan Markle (except the family and WE would have Duke's back completely). As for Damian, the fact that he's not white would get him snubbed if everyone who's anyone didn't 100% know who Ra's Al Ghul is. And they're fucking terrified because, for maximum hilarity, they probably figure that Bruce doesn't.

I just find it incredibly fucking funny when I'm reading fics that the writers can only imagine Bruce and the kids's civilian privileges extend only to "big house", "a lot of cars" and "Gotham famous". Lol. Lmao even.

some meta that is not at all detangled from my mind but —

both Dick and Tim have resentment towards the Robins that followed them, and part of this may be due to the fact that neither Jason nor Damian are required to have a caretaker role towards Bruce. and, in fact, experience the “privilege” of having Bruce mentally there enough to take care of them and treat them as children

plus it’s said that Dick and Tim are the most like Bruce (rather than either Jason or Damian) and this may be due to the “reflecting” aspect of enabling (a harsh word, since they would prefer the term “taking care of”).

so i think a lot of the resentment had to 1) with the idea that you put so much work into someone and being “replaced” 2) that suddenly your parent is okay and can be a good dad for someone else. not you, you didn’t get that, and you tell yourself it’s okay because it’s a different relationship, you’re more a peer, he wants your thoughts and opinions, he’s harder on you because you’re capable of more, he respects you

but god. they have it so easy. all they have to do is be his kid, and they can’t even manage that. all they have to do is be his kid.

I'm with the " Thomas and Martha were actually weird as fuck before they died" crowd. I like to imagine vigilantism is just an old Wayne family tradition.

Martha Kane, serial sugar baby, casually stalks and kidnaps creepy men, abusers, and predators, only came at the Wayne Gala for a new sugar daddy after bankrupting Carmine Falcone:

Thomas Wayne, rich ass doctor with flexible morals, deep as fuck basement, and access to a RIDICULOUS amount of sedatives:

Battinson announcing the list of charities he wants to support during the floods.

This shocks a LOT of people because, as of now, he’s never publicly contributed to humanitarian projects since becoming CEO. But what confuses them more is how Batman is seen expertly breaking into two different charities that were listed by Bruce Wayne.

One reporter gets suspicious and makes up a theory: He catches Bruce in public and asks, “Is it true you hired Batman to investigate the legitimacy of charities you donate to?”

Queue the awkward, anxiety-ridden Battinson freaking out because oh no they’re getting close to figuring it out, aren’t they? Oh fuck oh fuck-

Battinson: Who’s Batman?

The reporter just looks at him like he’s an idiot, but Battinson’s dug himself a hole now and all he can do is just keep digging.

Suddenly, the public comes up with a new theory: Bruce and Batman HATE each other. Batman is investigating the charities because he doesn’t trust Bruce Wayne, and Bruce is offended and refuses to acknowledge the newly publicized vigilante.

Bruce proceeds to be hailed as a Petty King TM on Twitter.

(Not a Battinson post but) Brucie Wayne is such a solid cover story. I’m convinced that even if Batman was unmasked in public, Gotham would just be like “Oh no! Poor Brucie Wayne thought he could be his favorite hero for a day! Now, the Joker is going to hurt him D: Where is the real Batman so he can save the day?!” The JL would have a laughing fit in the watchtower, but deep down, they’d respect the fuck out of Bruce for developing such a good cover story.

Every time I see a bunch of posts from Neil Gaiman on my feed I think, "Neil... you're procrastinating writing again, aren't you"

thinking about my optometrist who was treating my eye infection and said “if it hurts, you can rinse your eye with boiled water. look at me - look at me. i want you to understand that i mean water that has been boiled and has since cooled down. not boiling water. do you understand?” like i’m so grateful for this man ensuring that I wouldn’t destroy my eyes by pouring boiling water in it, because it is an adequate assessment of my intelligence

Bruce forwarding Wayne Enterprises advertisement emails to Tim for him to deal with only to realise too late he's actually been sending them to Jason.

He only finds out as he's driving down town and sees a giant billboard reading 'Wayne Enterprises. Our CEO is getting plowed by Superman. Can you say the same for yours?'

Suprisingly, the share price goes up.

i don’t kno if it’s intentionally vague because of spoilers for the future or if it’s it meant to be the only cultural legacy of valryia is turning essos into a slaving culture and burning people alive but either way valyria is ash and the targs are killing themselves over ghosts instead of just accepting they are regular old westerosi people, like what actually *is* valryian culture targ stans always go on about, what was it? what do we know about it?