Okay But Like Hear Me Out-

dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak

Oh look more dumbass quotes but instead its just a compilation of me and my siblings being shitheads

________________________________________

Masky: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT CAN'T YOU SEE IM EATING A CHEESE CAKE DEPRESSINGLY??!?!?!?

Y/n: I WANT YOU TO ACTUALLY SEE A THERAPIST YOU CHEESECAKE EATING FUCKER-

_______________________________________

Jeff,liu(sully actually) and sally went shopping and are returning back

Sully: WHAT THE FUCK JEFF YOU ALMOST CRASHED INTO THE MANSION

Masky comes out of the house

Masky: ARE YOU SHITHEADS DUMB??? YOU ALMOST FUCKING CRASHED INTO THE MANSION

Jeff: sorry dude but wanna know smth? I don't give a shit also i think the kid got smth to say

Sally: I don't care either!

Masky: YOU-

Sully : IM NOT WITH THEM I STG BUT I WOULD LOVE TO WATCH JEFF GET BEATEN SO INVITE ME WHEN YOU TELL THE OPERATOR

___________________________________________

Ej is listening to chemical romance

Jeff whispering to ben: look at that fucking emo i bet he still has pictures of his ex

___________________________________________

Ben: sorry i was eating cheerios on the bathroom

Hoodie: you mean in?

Y/n: nope i was in the attic with him we watched the office

__________________________________________

x-virus and y/n are shopping

Y/n: omg cody look

Points at a box of nerds

Y/n: it's you!

X-virus digs through the shopping cart y/n was pushing pulls out a box of y/n's fav candy and throws it across the aisle hitting a stranger that was facing the shelves

X-virus: come on you introverted fuck tell that stranger it was your fault

Y/n: satan fears you

___________________________________________

Ok that's all lmao looking back we do cuss alot ig it's our platonic love language

Tis in the making. Mwahahahaha >:)

@bvnnyblood

I FUCKING LOST THE ASK BECAUSE TUMBLRS A BITCH. Some lovely anon asked for subby charlie crying with a soft dom sadist reader. Here it is! I added a Mommy kink because it felt right.

Happy Tears

Charlie Walker x Fem!Reader

A/N: for some fucking reason I wrote this like very...detailed or something? idk but I like it, so... enjoy!

Word count: 502

Warnings: mommy kink, dacryphilia, overstimulation, my endless love for Rory's gorgeous blue eyes, a mention of Charlies fanboyness?, my guesses at Charlies music taste, unprotected sex (wrap it, people!)

"Fuck! Momma- *hic* Momma, please. I can't, i-" He cut himself off with a whine, trying to squirm away from your touch.

"Charlie, you've only cum twice though, baby~" Fuck, he's so pretty when he cries.

"Can you be good for me and give me just one more?" The way he rapidly nods his head, bringing a smile to your face.

"I'm gonna ride your pretty cock, baby." He looked up at you pleadingly, those beautiful blue eyes glassy from the tears of the past hour.

"Mhm. Wanna make you feel good too momma." You stroked his cheek with a soft touch, one that felt lovingly familiar.

Grabbing his cock, you gave it a few slow strokes, placing one last kiss to the tip and guiding towards your entrance. He whined at the contact, unconsciously bucking his hips, sliding himself into you accidentally.

"Ah! FuCK! I'm s-sorry momma!" His breaths shuddered as you continued to sink down onto him, his girth stretching you deliciously. You smiled down at him, letting him know you weren't mad at all.

You slightly shifted your hips, sending shock waves of please through Charlie. He whimpered and jerked his hips again, the sensitivity coming on strong already.

"Doing so well baby, momma's so proud." He smiled at you and did his best to fuck up into you, the trembling of his thighs aiding to his struggle. He knew your body like the plot of stab 1, and you, his. He knew the exact angle in this position to hit to slam straight into the sweet, spongy spot of yours.

You threw your head back and rocked your hips, back and forth, back and forth. Charlie did his best not to cum yet, trying to focus on something else in the room to distract him.

The clock on the wall, slowly ticking rhythmically, mocking his unsteady breaths. Tick-Tock. Tick-Tock.

The slight whirr of the paused Cure CD on the CD player, whirring in wait of when he'd play it. Whrrr.

The ding of his notifications going off, he completely forgot that you were supposed to be at a party with your friends, they were probably going off in the group chat. Ding! Ding! Ding!

And he finally turned back towards you. Fuck. The slight tremble of your plush bottom lip, your perfect bouncing tits, the few hickies on your neck from earlier. Looking down at where you both connected, he could've came right there.

There was a ring of your creamy slick around the base of his cock, making this lewd, wet, slapping noise every time your hips met. You tipped his head up to look at you.

You leaned in and kissed him, giving him that shove towards the edge that he so desperately needed. He pulled away quickly to warn you of his oncoming release. Choked whimpers and moans coming out in place of words.

Tick-Tock, Whrrr, Ding! And you.

"Shit- close!" He swore he saw stars.

"Go ahead and cum for me. My good boy."

not me watching gabriel as you post this-

i wholeheartedly believe that gabe would be a really good boyfriend. maybe his love for you would get a little out of hand at times, but that's okay cuz its him. he's the sweetest boy ever and would treat you like absolute royalty, nothing less ever. 🫶

OKAY i was scrolling through some old posts of mine, and i saw the one where anon requested i continue midnight babysitting AND i think im gonna. (ps if you have any last minute requests PLEASE tell me and i’ll try to work them in <3)

also tagging other kai bcuz i thought they’d be excited <3 @bvnnyblood

I have recently got back into the Jay and Silent Bob movies and just fucking realized how much of an influence they had on me-

like i was a bit of a perv before but GODDAMN

i always wonder wtf y’all think i look like-

Feels kinda perfect, doesn't it?

No pressure tags: @bvnnyblood @taintandviolent @w4lk3rss @tangerinesgf @kaiscumsock

Feel free to join!

MOVIE TAG GAME!

Rules: no cheating! You're starring in a movie with the last person you saved in your camera roll. The last song you've listened to is the title. Who/what is it?

Thanks for the tag! 🥰 @amethyst-crowns

Mmmmm… mkay….

No pressure tags 💕 @sleepy-quinns @thefreak0fhawkinshigh @harringtons-cupid @ryan-waddell11 @jamdoughnutmagician

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