Seashantyslxt - Waves Of Panic

I very rarely feel like I'm actually in the moment. like 95 % of time I feel like there's a thin veil between me and reality. I'm never present I'm never there

when i was a teenager it felt very revolutionary to be cruel to myself. like some kind of slow passive protest against how much everything hurt. i starved myself of sleep and food and tenderness because it felt right. it felt sharp and angry and radical and i wanted to be those things. adulthood is the realisation that the world is already working to cut into you well before you learn how to do it yourself. caring for yourself and others is the real protest

grabs your hand. you've had enough plot and exposition and character development lately im taking you to the beach episode

insane that some people are born sooooo talented and I was born with an anxiety disorder

are u ever sick w longing. and i don't just mean romantic longing. i mean longing for a place you barely get to see, longing for friends you no longer have, longing for feelings you might have left behind in your childhood, longing for creativity, longing for a rich and more expansive life, longing for less inhibition. longing for more passion. longing for ur life to be so incandescent w something it thaws all the frost in ur bones. are u ever so consumed w it it rends ur heart in two. do u understand me

being alive is pissing me off. where are the moments of respite