I Very Rarely Feel Like I'm Actually In The Moment. Like 95 % Of Time I Feel Like There's A Thin Veil

To be desired means nothing. To be truly understood and deeply loved is everything.

Nothing better 🫠

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ꒦꒷︶꒦꒷︶꒦꒷ ♡ ꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶꒷꒦

੭ㅤ★˚쿠키  !!ᄊㅤ ㅤ ⌕⠀☆ ֪ ֺ 자주색⠀♡

୨୧⋆ ˚ , ≀ (ㅅ´ ˘ `) Hi ! ㅤャ⠀∗˚당신은 괜찮아? ✦

˚₊ ꒰𝟶:𝟶𝟶 ૮₍ ´𖦹 ˕ ×` ₎ა !!ㅤ ≀＃୨ 널 원해⠀♡・ɞ

ㅤ୧☕꒰왜 당신을 사랑합니까?  ׅ☆

☆ ͡ ݂ ʚ하트투하트 ˎˊ˗ ㅤଘ꒰ ੭당신이 싫어요ᄊ *ɞ

when i was a teenager it felt very revolutionary to be cruel to myself. like some kind of slow passive protest against how much everything hurt. i starved myself of sleep and food and tenderness because it felt right. it felt sharp and angry and radical and i wanted to be those things. adulthood is the realisation that the world is already working to cut into you well before you learn how to do it yourself. caring for yourself and others is the real protest

are u ever sick w longing. and i don't just mean romantic longing. i mean longing for a place you barely get to see, longing for friends you no longer have, longing for feelings you might have left behind in your childhood, longing for creativity, longing for a rich and more expansive life, longing for less inhibition. longing for more passion. longing for ur life to be so incandescent w something it thaws all the frost in ur bones. are u ever so consumed w it it rends ur heart in two. do u understand me

Update: I called again and got a referral for a therapist :)

Anxiety is soooo cool, I called my providers mental health line to finally get some help and as soon as an actual person started to pick up I panicked and hung up.