Moving Day

How to capture an ENTP

ENTPs are adorable humans that bounce around so quickly that you can’t really take your eyes off them or they will build two machines running on carbon dioxide and have sharpies for fingers. Those said sharpies are for decorating the walls!, the ENTPs would have insisted, but you shouldn’t have listen, you told yourself regretfully when you woke up to a specially modified face the next morning. However, they are still in great demand for you’ll want to hit and hug them at the same time. Sadly, you’ll have to catch those little tricksters first. Rain or shine, ENTPs will make you laugh and it’s a noticeable fact that INFJs have an adorable ENTP at their side to shower with extra love and care.

But what about the rest of us? The INTXs would cry out angrily, unable to accept the fact that for once, they could not capture such fast-paced, trash-talking, happy creatures. After all, impossible was not a concept in those introverted rationals head unless we are looking at the emotional aspect of humans. Looking at the statistics, there should be plenty of ENTPs to go around for there isn’t enough INFJs to buy them all. So how do you capture an ENTP?

Step One: Grab their attention. They have short attention spans. The one way is to walk up to them and rattle off a series of numbers to your next pseudo-hydrogen-titanium bomb project. They would be so intrigued, they will run after you, demanding for answers.

That is, if they didn’t nod understandingly and classify you as an idiot first.

Step two: Keep them chasing. ENTPs get bored easily. Wonder why INFJs ever throw their hands up exasperatedly and charge towards the all-willing ENFPs that open their arms for extra glomps? Well, probably not, because nobody saw that happening. ENTPs wants you to keep up a conversation. But how, the INTXs will now raised their eyebrows suspiciously, wary that this might be another trap. Simple! This ENTP will flick her hair arrogantly while dodging the rolled-up newspaper her INTJ just swung at her. Saw a new topic on discovery channel? Great, tell them. Ask their INFP friends on what they like. Found out why Saturn has it’s rings and Uranus have an extremely retarded name? Even better, bring it up the next time they frustratedly looked at the ceiling in (useless) attempt to pass time.

Assuming if they don’t learn it all first, which they probably did.

Step three: Do not be afraid to call them out for their bullshit. ENTPs exist for one reason: to explain absolutely idiotic (and inaccurate) synopsis of any known scientific facts just to examine which are the ones foolish enough to fall for their convincing lies. Everyone, that is. However, call them out for it. Disagree with them, and let them know that you see through everything. (Well, not their clothes, even if they make sexual innuendos about it. Trade your see-through googles for their nudes, if you are that desperate, and prepare to be duped.) Wow them with your critical thinking and if you successfully displayed to the ENTP that you are more cynical than the status quo, congratulations, you are 70% there!

Until they completely forget about your thinking charm and decided that XSTPs are sexy, while thinking that they should obtain one.

Step four: Be unpredictable. This speaks for itself spiritually. Don’t blow up the barbies they are planning to dissect though, that’s cruelty on its finest level.

Step five: Be rare. Yes, you read that right. We are rare enough, the INTXs will now cheer after reading this. Finally, a step we can accomplish, nodded an INTJ approvingly.

Do not make yourself too available. That is to say, do not talk to them everyday. The ENTPs are actually great at spotting out patterns and they will eventually (in a week) learn how your mind works while getting bored of you since what you say is entirely predictable, which ruins step four as well. Be scarce. Approach them quite a bit during the first few interactions and be scarce after that.

Note: if they wander about, looking adorably lost, it’s time for you to step in and gently guide them back to you. Do not completely abandon them, you’ll regret it after realizing that they reigned in a black hole and sucked everything up since they went unsupervised. If they respond to your messages with long paragraphs and frequent replies, they are interested. Do not engage them in small talk.

Step six: Do not get discouraged easily. ENTPs are wonderful at forgetting things. That is to say, if they do forget to reply to your one sentence message, you are probably boring them to death. Feed them paragraphs of literature. Show them satirical pictures of politics and life. Talk about philosophy with them. However, understand that they have difficulties maintaining a consistent psychological distance with people. They might seem shockingly close to you one day and randomly distant the next. Try to perk them up with the newest picture you found of a Stalin and Hitler relationship and be sure to double check their drinks for any love potions placed inside by an INFJ.

There you go. 6 steps on how to capture an ENTP. Think you can do it?

Credits to rationals-pub.tumblr.com for the original idea of writing the manual for obtaining an ENTP. I got inspired after reading theirs, read that awesome manual in the link below!

http://rationals-pub.tumblr.com/post/111903140076/intj-manual-how-to-obtain-your-very-own-entp

ENTP vs INTP: http://therequiemsofdreams.tumblr.com/post/112215041328/entp-vs-intp Also, follow my MBTI blog if you want more: the-fault-in-entps.tumblr.com

Here’s A Riddle Son

Everytime I gave a fuck, that fuck, fucked me over.

Why do we love the people that rejects us and reject the people that loves us?

What the enneagrams are thinking

1: what the fuck this mother fucker right here I swear I won’t say anything but I AM SO PISSED

2: man why doesn’t everyone want to TAKE CARE OF EVERYONE?

3: I will be better. I must be better. Better than you. Better than me. Better better better

4: I am different and therefore better. These people are sheeple

5: *abstract shapes floating through space* AHA. I UNDERSTAND IT ALL NOW!

6, phobic: there are so many people so many things where are my blankets I feel UNSTABLE

6, counterphobic: *high pitched non stop screaming*

7: I wanna do a line. 10 lines. Not enough. Tomorrow I’ll fly to Bulgaria. Maybe Ireland. Nvm I know I’m just gonna chill w my pals

8: I want to shred this person’s liver and make bruschetta out of it for my girlfriend and I to eat at brunch

9: HAHAHHAHAHAHA I’m not angry I am chill, chill man chill I AM SO NICE

Ah, thoughts - they’re not so easy to control.

Henrik Ibsen, Hedda Gabler (via wordsnquotes)

*planet explodes* *removes one earbud* what

People Are Always Saying Some Things To Me And Well Im SICK Of It

yep

You know you're an ENTP when #145

- You know how many times I have to hold myself from talking in the movie theatre or while watching tv with others… and if I’m quiet in there, then I want to talk about it afterwards.. other people just walk away from it like nothing happened.. and I’m thinkin c'mon people that was so interesting, let’s talk about it and pull it apart and put it back together again!??!!

The real glo up is when you stop waiting to turn into some perfect hypothetical version of yourself and consciously enjoy being who you are in the present moment.