People Are Always Saying Some Things To Me And Well Im SICK Of It

Why the types are dangerous: ENTP Edition

ENTPs will see all the possible outcomes of a situation before you can even finish processing one

They’ll have you second-guessing yourself in seconds

While you may be lulled into thinking that ENTPs are socially and emotionally inept, they’re looking to turn the tables on the people making them look awkward

Have uncrackable poker face

Masters of subtle sarcasm –Are they joking? Are they serious? Are they making fun of you? You’ll never know and therefore never have the upper hand

Nothing is ever enough, they always need more, they need to know more, they need to see more, they’re black holes

ENTPs find loopholes in everything, especially rules 

me: *gets scared that i’m wasting my life* me: i’m gonna deal with this feeling by taking a long nap in the middle of the day

me: *wants to live a minimalist life with little to no clutter*

also me: I'm keeping this math assignment from 5th grade I might need it later.

Stop being tormented by everyone else’s reaction to you.

Joyce Meyer (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

ENTP: A Type In Words.

ISTJ | ISFJ | INFJ | INTJ | ISTP | ISFP | INFP | INTP | ESTP | ESFP | ENFP | ENTP | ESTJ | ESFJ | ENFJ | ENTJ

Me

“ENTps usually have a distant, far away look in their eyes and it often seems as though they are paying little attention to what is going on. During conversation ENTps like to play with objects, like a pen for example, often accidentally breaking it. They may gesticulate when passionately telling a story. ENTps do not know how to keep the right psychological distance with people. This becomes especially noticeable during long term interaction. One day they can be friendly and the next day they can be completely opposite. They often behave unceremoniously and can rudely butt in on others conversations. ENTps can also find it difficult to evaluate how others feel about them and therefore can make mistakes when choosing friends.”

It’s so… accurate.

[x] 

Musings of an ENTP ( how insightful! ) YOU KNOW YOU'RE ENTP WHEN:

You know you’re ENTP when (compilation through the years ):

Exploiting loopholes and thinking outside the box are your specialty

At least once or twice in your childhood, you had an attempt in sports because you think you’re extreeeeeme and got sent to the hospital for it. “I don’t think I’m going to be athlete when I grow up.” 10 year old you said to yourself.

You argue for the sake of arguing.

You question everything.

Verbal-sparring and debates interests you. Funny thing is, during a debate, you’re quite aware your opponent is right but you still defend your wrong answer for the sake of it. In the end, you still win and its hilarious.

Your anecdotes have a few details exaggerated and are usually self-aggrandizing to emphasize on how awesome you are. True story.

No mess, no progress has to be one of your life codes.

You struggle picking an ice cream flavor and ask if you could taste each of the ice cream flavors your friends ordered to get clarity.

Others think you’re stalling whenever you banter and quip witty remarks before doing an extremely difficult task. In truth, you’re formulating and orchestrating your grand scheme in your head without looking like it. Strangers find you charming and adorkable af but your closest friends think you’re evil and still love you anyway. Even though your feats aren’t of malicious intent but merely for the lolz and giggles.

Somebody states “It can’t be done!” and on impulse, you go “Challenge Accepted!” despite being well aware of the imminent danger.

Your habit of procrastination worsens through the years. And yet, you always get away with it at the last minute. Good for you, you clever brilliant thing.

Conversations with you often involve hovering from one topic to another at breakneck speed.

You can’t engage in a normal humanly conversation without provoking someone and starting an argument. But NOT all the time, geez

You’re labeled to be awkward, confident, awesome witty and dorky depending on the audience, sometimes, all at the at same time.

On the first day of grade school, the teacher asks the students to give one adjective to describe them. All the other kids say shit like “Kind, funny, smart, pretty.” but you ended up saying “Impeccable, legendary, bombastic, gangsta, thug-life. ”

Giving respective names to inanimate objects is normal to you

All the cats on your street have their own respective names and complicated backstories. Someday, you think the cats will accept you as one of their own.

You indulge in watching other people’s reactions, especially when they freak out after you troll them.

You wonder what happens when you mix this with that.

You muse about what’s gonna happen if you do this and even if everyone told you not to. But you do it anyway.

You’re the smartest, most stimulating and most intriguing person in the room. Well, you think are.

You’re overly self-critical, narcissistic and egotistical all at the same time.

People say you have an over-inflated ego that can be sensed a few feet away.

You don’t even know whats normal or mundane anymore. Or maybe you do, you simply just have a different definition for what’s mundane and normal.

You have a long list of friends and acquiantances yet you feel lonely and misunderstood, wishing people truly knew you better. *starts brooding in bedroom only to wake up in your usually hyperactive awesome self as if brooding never happened*

You love asking the opinion and criticism of others. You ask your ISTP best friend for criticism on your latest creation, and your ISTP buddy points out every flaw, while being brutally honest about it. Instead of being offended, you exclaim “Now, I know whats wrong! Why haven’t I seen that before?! ”

You’re gifted with speech, eloquent enough to convince any crowd , regardless of what you said is false or not. Yet you end up rambling on and on just to get the gist of what the fuck you’re trying to point out.

There are scenarios when you’re smooth af at flirting, intentional or not, but when it comes to your crush or actual feelings for someone, you’re a mumbling idiot whose words don’t match up their feelings.

Either you’re a complete asshole or the friendliest most empathetic person in the room, depends on the mood. 

People say you have an extremely high IQ but have the mental age of five. To be honest, you never really acted your age all your life. Its just either you’re too wise beyond your years or just really really immature.

You’re talented at making dumb things sound smart, like the Sophists of ancient times.

The musical library in your MP3 player ranges from bubblegum pop to heavy metal to classical music to gangsta rap music to musicals and Movie OSTs to mountain meditation music.

Your reaction to love is: WTF is love?

You want people to know you but you keep your distance, resulting you into being misunderstood. Huhuhu nobody understands me!!

You’re stuck in an internal debate with youself on whether you’re really an ENTP or not right after taking the Myer Briggs test. You even went as far as taking other Myer Briggs tests.

Join the Introvert Nation Movement

How to capture an ENTP

ENTPs are adorable humans that bounce around so quickly that you can’t really take your eyes off them or they will build two machines running on carbon dioxide and have sharpies for fingers. Those said sharpies are for decorating the walls!, the ENTPs would have insisted, but you shouldn’t have listen, you told yourself regretfully when you woke up to a specially modified face the next morning. However, they are still in great demand for you’ll want to hit and hug them at the same time. Sadly, you’ll have to catch those little tricksters first. Rain or shine, ENTPs will make you laugh and it’s a noticeable fact that INFJs have an adorable ENTP at their side to shower with extra love and care.

But what about the rest of us? The INTXs would cry out angrily, unable to accept the fact that for once, they could not capture such fast-paced, trash-talking, happy creatures. After all, impossible was not a concept in those introverted rationals head unless we are looking at the emotional aspect of humans. Looking at the statistics, there should be plenty of ENTPs to go around for there isn’t enough INFJs to buy them all. So how do you capture an ENTP?

Step One: Grab their attention. They have short attention spans. The one way is to walk up to them and rattle off a series of numbers to your next pseudo-hydrogen-titanium bomb project. They would be so intrigued, they will run after you, demanding for answers.

That is, if they didn’t nod understandingly and classify you as an idiot first.

Step two: Keep them chasing. ENTPs get bored easily. Wonder why INFJs ever throw their hands up exasperatedly and charge towards the all-willing ENFPs that open their arms for extra glomps? Well, probably not, because nobody saw that happening. ENTPs wants you to keep up a conversation. But how, the INTXs will now raised their eyebrows suspiciously, wary that this might be another trap. Simple! This ENTP will flick her hair arrogantly while dodging the rolled-up newspaper her INTJ just swung at her. Saw a new topic on discovery channel? Great, tell them. Ask their INFP friends on what they like. Found out why Saturn has it’s rings and Uranus have an extremely retarded name? Even better, bring it up the next time they frustratedly looked at the ceiling in (useless) attempt to pass time.

Assuming if they don’t learn it all first, which they probably did.

Step three: Do not be afraid to call them out for their bullshit. ENTPs exist for one reason: to explain absolutely idiotic (and inaccurate) synopsis of any known scientific facts just to examine which are the ones foolish enough to fall for their convincing lies. Everyone, that is. However, call them out for it. Disagree with them, and let them know that you see through everything. (Well, not their clothes, even if they make sexual innuendos about it. Trade your see-through googles for their nudes, if you are that desperate, and prepare to be duped.) Wow them with your critical thinking and if you successfully displayed to the ENTP that you are more cynical than the status quo, congratulations, you are 70% there!

Until they completely forget about your thinking charm and decided that XSTPs are sexy, while thinking that they should obtain one.

Step four: Be unpredictable. This speaks for itself spiritually. Don’t blow up the barbies they are planning to dissect though, that’s cruelty on its finest level.

Step five: Be rare. Yes, you read that right. We are rare enough, the INTXs will now cheer after reading this. Finally, a step we can accomplish, nodded an INTJ approvingly.

Do not make yourself too available. That is to say, do not talk to them everyday. The ENTPs are actually great at spotting out patterns and they will eventually (in a week) learn how your mind works while getting bored of you since what you say is entirely predictable, which ruins step four as well. Be scarce. Approach them quite a bit during the first few interactions and be scarce after that.

Note: if they wander about, looking adorably lost, it’s time for you to step in and gently guide them back to you. Do not completely abandon them, you’ll regret it after realizing that they reigned in a black hole and sucked everything up since they went unsupervised. If they respond to your messages with long paragraphs and frequent replies, they are interested. Do not engage them in small talk.

Step six: Do not get discouraged easily. ENTPs are wonderful at forgetting things. That is to say, if they do forget to reply to your one sentence message, you are probably boring them to death. Feed them paragraphs of literature. Show them satirical pictures of politics and life. Talk about philosophy with them. However, understand that they have difficulties maintaining a consistent psychological distance with people. They might seem shockingly close to you one day and randomly distant the next. Try to perk them up with the newest picture you found of a Stalin and Hitler relationship and be sure to double check their drinks for any love potions placed inside by an INFJ.

There you go. 6 steps on how to capture an ENTP. Think you can do it?

Credits to rationals-pub.tumblr.com for the original idea of writing the manual for obtaining an ENTP. I got inspired after reading theirs, read that awesome manual in the link below!

http://rationals-pub.tumblr.com/post/111903140076/intj-manual-how-to-obtain-your-very-own-entp

ENTP vs INTP: http://therequiemsofdreams.tumblr.com/post/112215041328/entp-vs-intp Also, follow my MBTI blog if you want more: the-fault-in-entps.tumblr.com