Happy Birthday Thoma You Look Absolutely Scrumptious Today 🤤

Today's a good day, anyways I currently have dr brain rot

Dear Female Reader Insert Writers...

I am so tired of seeing fic labeled as "Reader x ______", expecting it to be gender neutral, when there is a blatant reference to the reader being female. Please start labeling them properly. "Fem!Reader x _______". I would very much appreciate that. Or maybe I should stop labeling my male reader and gender neutral fics correctly? Make them general. Because I would like to know what I'm getting into, and not every person in the fandom you're writing for is female. Please stop assuming they are. Those of us who are Male, Gender Neutral, and/or Non-Binary may not want to read female reader stories. And it really sucks when you click on one, hoping that it's gender neutral or even male, and find out that it's female.

Also, please stop tagging your female reader works in the male reader tag. We already don't have a lot of fics, and you're taking our space away from us. You're giving us false hope to something that we have so little of. If you're not going to write for us, then you could at least have the courtesy to not take our spaces.

Thank you,

X-reader-theatre

GOD TO GO THE BUNNY CAFE THIS IS SO AMAZING

A Genshin Bunny Boy Cafe (pt.2)

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Pt 1 here

This fine establishment allows (adult) customers to experience being waited on by hot men in bunny suits. And maybe, after dark, the bunnies can be of service to premium customers…

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- NOTSFW!! Minors don’t interact with this post! -

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“Celestia’s Bunny Cafe has been a hit with locals and tourists alike in downtown Teyvat. Just two streets from the hustle and bustle of Little Liyue sits a pink, two story cafe! The top floor is not accessible to the public, just the main floor and the basement. Everyday patrons have no idea the basement exists, only a select few do: Premium Members. For $150 per month (in addition to a plethora of other fees), guests can wave their iridescent pink card in order to be treated just a bit more like royalty by the bunny waiters. They have all kinds of perks such as being invited to special events, getting one of a kind treats made for them and getting to have some alone time with a bunny (or bunnies) of their choice. The basement serves as a sex dungeon of sorts. When you pass by the bar, heading towards the restroom, if you were to continue further down the hall you’d hit a security desk with a dark staircase behind it. In that basement, there are 9 rooms where guests and their bunnies can engage in ‘adult activities’. If this entices you, don’t be afraid to purchase a premium pass for yourself and get to know some bunnies because this kind of privilege is not for ‘regular folks’” - @.userkhanrya, www.teyvatsmansluts.comm

Reply to: @.userkhanrya “The experience I had in that basement was insane, probably the best sex I’ve had in my life. Tbh, I have very shitty taste in men so that’s probably why but we don’t have time to unpack all of that rn. I brought Angel down to the basement with me and let me tell you, it was worth every penny. He knows his way around others’ bodies, he was gentle in the beginning and rough when it mattered. He fucked the life out of me then we actually cuddled afterwards which was a nice touch. I haven’t seen him since, I’m out of town but I can’t wait to get back there to see him again!! If you’re considering getting the premium pass, do it. Just do it. You literally will NOT regret it” - @.userjadeprcls, www.teyvatsmansluts.comm

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Some background on the basement and what it entails:

‘The basement’ is a hallway with 10 rooms. 9 bedrooms and 1 security kiosk (for the bunnies’ safety). Each room is themed differently, one is regal, one is 80s, one is just a mattress in the middle of the floor, others have poles, it depends on what you request and what bunny you have with you

Each bedroom has a small bathroom attached for your convenience. Each room is able to lock from the inside but the security can open the doors if need be. At the same time, every room has a button that your bunny can press if he’s uncomfortable, unsafe or just needs to have you removed (I know you wouldn’t ever do something to make them uncomfortable or unsafe, this is just a precaution)

The basement has rules about what is not allowed. Piss, shit and blood are not allowed because no one wants to clean that up. Condoms must always be worn for penetrative and oral sex. We don’t want any surprise babies!!! That ain’t good for business!!!

Each room has a big, pink bucket full of condoms. Only safe sex here!! There’s plenty to choose from. Flavored, ribbed, normal, whatever you want! (The green apple flavored ones seem to be a fan favorite in the basement!)

Each bunny has a list of what they’re comfortable with as well as who they’re comfortable being sexual with. We’ll use Zhongli as an example: he’s comfortable with most things except being choked or blindfolded. He is comfortable being intimate with all of his coworkers except Xiao, Albedo and Scaramouche. You two will meet up beforehand in order to discuss his limits and yours as well. Then you’ll sign a contract to show that you understand the basement’s rules as well as your bunny’s limits. Then you’re free to go have fun

The max number of bunnies you can bring with you to the basement is 2! You can’t bring everyone!! Usually there’s only 5-7 working at one given time so bringing more than 2 would offset the balance upstairs. You can request that they fuck while you watch, have them both fuck you, whatever combo you want. Or you can just have one bunny to yourself <3

If you need to stop at any point, they will stop whatever they’re doing immediately, no questions asked

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The bunnies in the basement…

Diluc/‘Angel’

Oh man, Diluc is a service dom through and through. He gets off on pleasing others, on knowing that he is making you feel so good, that his touch alone can make you unravel while looking so gorgeous fuck-

He’s pretty flexible with what he’s willing to do. He’ll give you a lap dance, fuck your thighs- please let him fuck your thighs he’s so into that omg the way his eyes roll up into his head and his mouth hangs open as you clench your thighs around him…mmm. There’s a lot that he’ll do for you, some things will take a bit more convincing than others but for the most part, he’s kinda down for anything that isn’t messy

There is one messy activity he’ll allow and thats oral. Please sit on his face, suffocate him with your thighs and let him bring you to completion over and over again. He’ll come in his pants totally untouched too, moaning against your hole as you grip his hair

Diluc is a big, strong man. I’ll say this every time I write for him but he’s BUFF and BIG!!! He really will fuck you into the mattress, he’ll thrust into you so hard that you won’t be able to think about anything other than his thick cock and his mouth at your neck. He’ll fold you in half, fuck you against the wall, whatever you want! You’re letting him let loose, you’re wanting him to please you so he will

He will cuddle you afterwards. For your sake and his own. Tbh, if he doesn’t get that sweet few moments of hugging and cozying up under sticky sheets, he kinda won’t get closure from the session lol. He’s a romantic…he wants to cuddle just for a few minutes afterwards :’)

Coworkers he’ll get with: Dain, Zhongli, Dottore

What he’s into: giving pleasure, oral, hair pulling, size difference, thigh fucking, overstimulation(giving), squirting

Kaeya

Kaeya’s in the basement all the time, both for personal use (aka fuckin with his friends) and for use at work

Shamelessly flirts upstairs all the time and isn’t much different in the bedroom. He has no filter and will just say anything he wants regardless of how naughty it is

He knows he’s a whore and he’ll let you degrade him if that’s what you want but…psst…he doesn’t actually like that :’) he wants you to tell him he’s pretty. He thrives off of affection, even from strangers, you’ll see his demeanor change drastically when you go from ‘such a slut just for me’ to ‘you feel so good, baby, yes! just like that!’

((He does enjoy degradation from certain people though…you could be one of those people if you come see him a lot))

Kaeya’s a switch for sure. He’ll bottom for you, whining as he bucks up into your hands, begging you to please please please let him come!! Or he’ll dominate you, shoving you down against the pillows and spitting on you, spreading your legs with a cocky grin. He’s very versatile, he can be anything you want. He doesn’t mind being used or using you. It’s part of his job

His guilty pleasure is just…taking it slow. Mutual praise, hand holding, body worship, gentle kisses and shared orgasms. I mean…he is a whore but he is a romantic ;-; he does like lovey-dovey stuff every once in awhile

Don’t even get me started on how he is when he has a coworker in the room too. Kaeya loves persuading customers to spend some extra cash in order to bring another bunny down with him. Dain is the usual victim of this ploy, Kaeya even goes to retrieve him personally! Even if he isn’t technically on duty and is just watching the security cameras upstairs, Kaeya will saunter on up there to get him, not without shoving a hand down the blonde’s pants to stroke him, kiss him and moan in his ear for a few minutes first, making the poor guy walk down 2 flights of stairs with a boner

Coworkers he’ll get with: Dain, Ajax, Zhongli, Albedo

What he’s into: Praise, threesomes, body worship, biting, dirty talk, nipple play

Ajax

Basic frat boy who was actually kicked out of a frat for being a menace. Now he’s just a bit of a douche who’s on the swim team at his uni. So he has all of the arrogance and strength he needs to put you in your place

Very condescending, likes to tease and torment, making you squirm beneath him in the sheets. He’ll thrust into you with little to no preparation, grunting as he does “Fuuuck, so tight just for me” he’ll abuse your sweet spot, pulling out of you when you look like you’re getting close. He just can’t get enough of those broken moans or the pretty tears on your cheeks as he ruins yet another orgasm for you

Always feels a sense of pride when he makes you come. He did that to you, he made you quiver and gasp out his name, he made you rake your nails down his back while screaming so beautifully

However, he can’t take what he gave you. Three minutes of teasing and he’ll be whining so pitifully, throwing his head back, legs shaking. He’s so cocky, so arrogant! Just until you wrestle him beneath you and force him to submit

He prefers to be on top but…this is nice…He does like being on the receiving end once in awhile

Does really like food play even though it kinda goes against the ‘don’t make a mess in the basement’ rules. He’ll steal a can of whipped cream from the kitchen so he can lick it from your chest and thighs, sharing sweet, sugary kisses as he’s catching his breath. Would also love if you returned the favor, sucking sweet cream from his aching cock

Coworkers he’ll get with: Kaeya, Dain, Zhongli, Dottore (maybe), Diluc

What he’s into: food play, size difference, overstimulation(giving), multiple orgasms, manhandling, crying

Albedo

Albedo is severely repressed and touch starved. Like a few other bunnies, he’s picky about who he goes downstairs with. He’s gotta like you a lot

It’s hard to read him sometimes since he doesn’t really emote and he isn’t very vocal. But once his eyes start fluttering closed, his hands grip the sheets and his face flushes, that’s how you know he’s having a good time

Loves experimental touches, just trying stuff out to see how you like it. Especially would love if you brought clean toys from home for you two to use. He’ll most likely decline having them used on him but he’ll be happy to use them on you!!

Pleaseeee yank on his hair, boss him around! Most of the time, he’s eager to please!! Other times…He’ll pin you down and tease you with his soft hands/slender fingers, bringing you to the verge of release only to pull away, doing this over and over until you’re a quivering mess beneath him. Only then will you see that handsome, cruel smirk of his 0-0

He’s leaning towards the ‘inexperienced’ side! He’ll suggest bringing Dain or Kaeya down with him just cause those two know how to switch things up! He also just feels more confident having a friend down there too

Coworkers he’ll get with: Kaeya, Dain, Diluc

What he’s into: threesomes, experimenting with new things, teasing, dirty talk, multiple orgasms(giving)

Zhongli

A sophisticated gentleman who hides his lust well in front of others. Now is his time to let go ;)

He isn’t rough in the bedroom but he is firm, he’ll maneuver you around until you’re in a position he likes, he pushes on your back to make you arch for him and watches with hungry eyes as he sinks into your greedy hole

Very talkative during sex, he’ll narrate what he’s doing, praise/degrade you (whichever you prefer of course), he’ll talk to you about his day even. “I’ve had the worst day today, you would not even begin to understand how frustrating my other job is sometimes-“

Bunnies are supposed to refer to customers as ‘master’ while on the cafe floor, just to make the experience personal and whatever. Zhongli will call you that in the basement too but it’ll be used in more of a mocking way as he fucks you

If you’re into size differences, Zhongli is perfect for you. He’s huge and he knows it. Sometimes he’ll take his time, working you open with skilled fingers and slowly pushing into you, trying to minimize the pain

Or he’ll simply grab you and force you on his dick, pulling you close to moan in your ear about how good you feel clenching around him like that. Sometimes he’ll pull away in order to watch his cock thrust in and out of you, smirking at how your greedy hole swallows him in

He usually won’t bottom but can be persuaded to do so if he likes you

Really loves when customers wear lingerie for him, he loves running his hands over silk or lace, knowing that you went through all this effort just to be ruined by him <3

Coworkers he’ll get with: Baizhu, Kaeya, Ajax, Dottore, Diluc

What he’s into: Size differences, lingerie, mild degradation(giving)

Dainsleif/‘Sweetie’

Very very easy to rile up. He’s fun as a top but if/when you get him pinned down and start having your way with his body, he’s quick to give in and get vocal

The way he throws his head back, bunny ears flopping, gripping the sheets as you work his dripping cock with your hands is just delicious

Super obedient and eager to please! It doesn’t take much to get him to beg either, he isn’t embarrassed at all when it comes to begging, he’ll be as loud as you want. He won’t waste time disobeying or being a brat, he’s kinda a glutton for pleasure

He’s just so sensitive pls pls pls touch him, he wants it so badly

It goes both ways though, he’s pretty good on top too. Sweetie’s got some good stamina so he can go a few rounds no problem. And when everything is done, he’ll cuddle with his client until they’re both recovered

This part is just a scenario I thought of: if you’re dating, you can come in through the rear exit and go upstairs to sit with him while he’s watching the security cams and chatting with the other security guards through his headset

I cant get the idea of slipping under the desk and sucking him off while he’s working out of my head. He’d love it so much! He’d turn off his mic and struggle to keep his eyes on the monitors, resting a hand on the back of your head…mmm…

Coworkers he’ll get with: Kaeya, Dottore, Diluc

What he’s into: Orgasm denial, being dominated, pet play(kinda picky about it though), praise(giving receiving), big fan of tits as well

Xiao/‘Tofu’

Xiao is a bit shy about going downstairs, he was the only one who wouldn’t go for a very long time

Very particular about who he’ll go with so think of it as a compliment if he goes down with you 0-0 that means he likes you a lot <3

Doesnt want you moaning out ‘tofu’ cause that’s weird so he’ll let you call him something else. Not his real name but you can pick a pet name or something to call him, he’d like that a lot

Loves to bite and leave all kinds of marks on his customers. To him, it’s super satisfying to see bruises, hickies and teeth marks in their skin when he’s done with them

He may be a bit inexperienced, he isn’t really good at foreplay, but he’s got energy! And he’s quick to pick up on what you do and don’t like!!

Like Dain, Xiao’s pretty sensitive. Very responsive to any kind of contact you give him. Loves to have you between his legs, kissing the tip of his cock. Xiao has… multiple dick piercings. Do whatever you want with that info 0-0

If he really really likes you, he’ll kinda feel possessive over you. If he sees you going downstairs with another bunny, he’ll feel…kinda jealous! He’ll keep working upstairs until he sees you come back up only to take you back downstairs himself in order to show you who you really belong to (with consent ofc)

Coworkers he’ll get with: Usually no one. If he’s feeling it, maybe Albedo or Scaramouche

What he’s into: piercing play, biting, fucking up against the wall

Baizhu/‘Honey’

If he’s working a night shift, it’s safe to assume that he’s horny 0-0 he’s a busy guy, he wants to let off some steam

Baizhu’s a pharmacist, not that he’ll disclose that to you, and thanks to medical school he knows his way around the human body. Foreplay with him is heavenly, he’ll run his soft hands all over your body, stretch you open with his pretty fingers, suck marks onto your hot skin and whisper the filthiest things into your ear as he does

Baizhu does noooot want to exert himself too much cause he is kinda fragile…be careful with him otherwise he’ll get grumpy and lose interest. Especially if you’re yanking his hair, he’ll lose his patience pretty quickly, snatching your hands while yelling at you to knock it off. He isn’t fun when he’s mad, he’s just kinda scary 0-0

Since he doesn’t want to exert himself he prefers to be on the bottom, he can be dominant or submissive for you either way but he’d rather be the one laying down. That way he won’t exhaust himself after just one round…and if he does he won’t need TOO much time to recover…just…let him catch his breath

He has such a nice voice, he’s very talkative and knows just way to say. Baizhu can study people easily, it won’t take long at all for him to figure out what kind of things you like to hear. Compliments, light teasing, degrading, wanton moaning, he can do it all and sound hot as fuck doing it

He’s kinda particular about what he likes, he’ll guide your hands to where he wants you to touch. His neck, his thighs and his cock of course

Really really wants you to tell him how smart and handsome he is :) like Kaeya, he’s an attention whore but isn’t as obvious about it yes he is

Baizhu and Zhongli are frequent partners in the basement, both for work and for personal ‘romps in the hay’, they have a very good dynamic going, they kinda can’t get enough of each other.

Coworkers he’ll get with: Zhongli, Dottore

What he’s into: Praise(giving and receiving), just kinda has a voice kink in general, hand kink

Dottore(I use the name Alain for him!)/‘Doc’

One meaaaan bunny, he requires a safe word when you take him to the basement. Not for him, for your sake cause hooooo lordie he isn’t gentle

He’s big on punishment. Likes tying clients up so he can spank them or roughly teasing until they’re a sobbing mess, begging him for release

Overstimulation is common with him, Alain loves how his dearest little clients cry and try to pull away as he forces another orgasm out of them, then another, costing his gloved hand in their release “Please! No more- I can’t! I can’t come again!!” “You can and you will. Give me what I want, you whore”

If you’re not into being degraded, he’s a bunny you’ll wanna avoid. He won’t call you his beautiful sweet darling, he’ll call you his useless slut, his dumb lil doll. Then he’ll spit on you and you’ll get another thwack with the love paddle

Loves when he’s got customers who seem serious or cold, he loves seeing them let go and lose themselves, allowing themselves to cry and beg for him

Lowkey enjoys teaming up with Scaramouche. They don’t like each other that much but when they work together in the basement, they can create some pretty fun scenes! Watch out if you bring them both downstairs for the night…you’ll be walking funny for a few days when they’re done with you

Coworkers he’ll get with: Dainsleif, Baizhu, Kaeya, Diluc, Zhongli

What he’s into: Impact play(giving), crying, degradation, dumbification, medical play/scenes, overstimulation(giving)

Scaramouche/‘Boss’

Surprisingly, he doesn’t often go down to the basement. He prefers to have more of a connection with whoever he fucks, he doesn’t wanna fuck strangers all the time. He’d prefer to fuck a regular who he sees on occasion. Don’t get me wrong, he doesn’t wanna be friends yes he does

Very bossy, hence the nickname, wants you to follow his orders blindly in the bedroom. ‘Yes sir’ ‘thank you, sir’ ‘please sir!’

He is really into orgasm control, he loves watching your face as you get so so close to release finally!! And then he pulls away to laugh at the way you cry out for him

If you’ll let him, he’ll take the time to tie you up, making sure each intricate knot is nice and tight, standing back to admire how that black rope looks hugging your skin, how you flush under his hungry gaze

He’ll see how well those knots can withstand the way he manhandles you, maneuvering you around to get the angle he wants as he fucks you ruthlessly

Will not bottom with you unless you’ve fucked a few times. And even then, he’ll be hesitant to really let go and enjoy it. You gotta encourage him, let his sweet side come out. He has a sweet side, it doesn’t see the light of day often though lmao

Coworkers he’ll get with: Dottore(depends on the situation), Ajax, Xiao

What he’s into: Orgasm denial/control, shibari, control in general

WAKING FROM THE GRAVE TO SAY THIS IS NKT A DRILL

SCARAMOUCHE DRIP MARKETING

and suddenly i’m thinking what if sara took ittos virginity bc that dumbass thought it was a competition

begging someone to make a itto x gn reader fic where ur mean as hell

please tag your posts with more than just genshin smut, maybe nsfw or something please? blocking so many people is a hassle that could be avoided if 18+ blogs tagged their posts better

smut and nsfw are like.. the same thing though.. idk im kinda confused but sure? just block and move on imo

i’m flattered

HOLY SHIT GOD FOUND ME

diluc is my whore.

AH

THANK YOU ALL SM AHH 💞💞