A Nosy Socialite At An Event, Leaning Down: “Oh Richard, It Must Be So Hard For You In That House,

No wonder bkg can't stand his ass

Bruce is working at the McDonalds in the Wayne Enterprises cafeteria as he’s trying to uncover corruption.

Tim is working at the Taco Bell because the show Undercover Boss sounded fun

Jason is working at the Starbucks because he’s trying to poach employees from Bruce, but doesnt want to do any actual business stuff.

Duke is working at the Burger King because this is literally just his job.

Damian (and Jon stacked on top of Damian to make them seem like adults) is working in the Popeyes as Dick hopes this will make him connect with people more (it will not).

Dick is working at the Smoothie King because he honestly just got lost and this is more fun than his real job.

None of them have noticed.

@batbirdies honestly this SOUNDS like something your Jason would say

The video starts with the view of an open fridge door, and something shapeless even within the frame scrabbling around inside, before it abruptly shuts and the thing, surprised by the presence of the camera, jumps back in shock. The Void stares unblinking (you think, it doesn’t really have eyes but more clusters of stars brighter than the rest), holding a tower of various cheeses in its arms stacked to its head.

“Dude.” The Void remains still, its voice calm as the surprised expression begins to wear off. “We talked about this. You’ve got to knock it off with the whole documentary thing.”

The camera zooms in on on comets peaking out from behind cheddar that definitely went out of date last week. The Void takes a step back, towards the kitchen counter where biscuits and crackers are stacked, ready to be made. The camera follows.

“Dude.” The Void continues backing away. The camera follows. “Dude!” The hesitant steps become a steady walk backwards through the flat. “You promised you’d be cool about this whole roommate thing! Cmon!”

The Void, having reached the kitchen counter, sighs, and begins making its two am snack. The camera pushes closer and closer to its face.

“I swear, one more step!” The Void doesn’t turn towards the camera but holds up a cheese knife threateningly. The camera stabilises. The Void goes back to cutting cheese.

The camera slams into and squishes against where its face would be if it had a face.

“THAT’S IT!” The Void grabs a piece of Red Leicester and hurls it into the camera, which had began to sprint away backwards. The video ends.

“I have stared into the abyss not just long enough for it to stare back. But for it to get uncomfortable and ask me to stop”

I’ve had this one on my mind for a while hahaha

Up and coming metal artist Eddie Munson covers his favorite song by queer pop icon Steve Harrington, who he's lowkey obsessed with, even if he loses a bit of cred for liking a few basic bitch songs.

Steve Harrington-- VERY aware of Corroded Coffin's extremely sexy frontman, all thanks to his little brother Dustin dragging him to a shitty bar in their hometown to listen to screaming songs about dragons and wizards-- who in turn covers one of Eddie's songs and posts it to his socials.

Cue Eddie and Dustin having simultaneous aneurysms when Steve slides into Eddie's DMs and gets a response in milliseconds.

Bruce, at a neighborhood gathering, talking to Jack Drake: Where's Janet?

Jack: Oh, she's sitting down. Carrying a baby all day really tires you out. Speaking of which, you haven't met Timothy yet!

Jack, stealing Tim from Janet to show him to Bruce: Look at this piece of heaven that came down just for us!

Baby Tim: bah •_-

Bruce: ...

Bruce, mentally: Yeah, I need to take him home. I need to raise that thing. He's perfect.

- years later-

Bruce, at Jack’s funeral with Tim at his side: I was playing the long game, idiot.

Tim, through tears: What..?

Bruce, putting an arm around him: Nothing, sweetheart.

Bruce, texting Jason: Text me when you’re home safely.

Jason: I’m home dangerously.

Bruce: Stop it.

Jason: I’m home lethally.

actually no, we're not "dating". we're bound together for infinity. like the stars. so, fuck you, actually.

Jason: “I’m NOTHING like Bruce, okay? We’re not even that similar. That’s all in your head.”

Dick, perched on Jason’s couch watching him gear up, sipping a Batburger shake: “so you’re NOT about to go deal with your emotions by going out on patrol and beating people up?”

Jason: *sets down the brass knuckles he was just holding* *stares off into the distance*

Jason: “These are just…for my — look, I don’t like your fucking tone, Richard.”