Often I Wish I Could Do Drawing Or Animation As Fanart. All I Can Do Is Write And Make Silly Little Guys

If Disco Elysium doesn't radicalize you in some way, you're playing it wrong

The patch 8 animation was just trolling the Astarion fans I swear. Deliberately pronouncing his name "wrong" in the song because people keep arguing about it even though there really shouldn't be an argument. His characterization really felt to me like it's poking fun at how fanon so often turns him into a caricature of himself. Plus all the little easter eggs referencing popular fanart, edits, and other quirks of the fandom. They knew what they were doing and it's so funny. The stupid song is still stuck in my stupid head.

The fun thing about being autistic and very emotional/hyperempathetic is that you can get overstimulated by your own emotions. Especially when hyperfixating on something. Currently I cannot even look at my favorite character without being overwhelmed because they bring up too many emotions. In other news I'm very normal and fine.

BG3 has rotten my brain so much that this color palate makes me emotional help

iykyk

companies make billions from you thinking you're ugly btw. only ugly thing is their bottom line. log out of tiktok right now.

Back to the issue of Astarion's charisma after doing his personal quest:

One thing that caught my attention is the double standards the inhabitants of Cazador's Mansion display. As soon as the party arrives there, we learn of the cultist pseudo-hierarchy that seemed to be at play. Spawns other than the chosen seven call Astarion Master. But also, there's Master-Master who is not named because it's obvious in the context, and because he elicits such dread. But as soon as Astarion speaks against Cazador, people call him blasphemous or weak or ignorant.

Then we need to get to the kennel master, and Astarion confronts him about the endured torture. The skeleton says some interesting things:

Then, you go into battle with Cazador. The game gives you an option to detach Astarion from the party, and then Cazador pouts that Astarion won't even see him, and the fight is a little easier because he can't drag Astarion into the ritual circle. But according to the "happy path" that is intended as default (as we always see Astarion half-naked just like the other six spawns in the cutscene after the battle), Astarion confronts Cazador, and Cazador berates him callously before assuming direct control.

Both Godey and Cazador infantilize Astarion, portraying him as a brat, "always difficult" and petulant. Cazador weaponizes the fact that he was turned as a very young person, denying Astarion the right to mature, whatever Cazador might consider maturation by vampire standards.

This paints a picture where Astarion was cheeky in his servitude after all, which might be considered bravely stupid, but it's still telling of a certain resilience on his part being constantly tested. He "sang sweetly" to his torturer because, apparently, he kept his voice. And something about Cazador trying to mock that pattern, Astarion being loud and chatty and driven to win people over, gets an abrupt reaction that makes me think Astarion has been baited and triggered in this exact way many times before. This trait was possibly the thing that set him apart from others and gave him his unique "purpose" as a spawn.

The narrative thus indicates that he has always been a hilariously annoying chatterbox, but being called out for it by Cazador seems to wound him deeper than other quips. So here, the narrative seems to win over game mechanics in terms of telling us how good Astarion is at influencing people.

So perhaps this is a remnant of the person Astarion was before the turning, part of the reason he was picked to become Cazador's victim. Perhaps that kind of coping through humor, sarcasm and people pleasing was the core of his youthful self-image, even.

(I think citing the alleged inevitable corruption of the character after being turned into a spawn would be counterproductive at this point, and it's more plausible to consider any corruption to be a result of living in an an abusive structure).

When searching Cazador's dungeon we find proof of his keen interest in Sarevok and in the contemporary politics of Baldur's Gate. In one of the writings, he expressed concern about Gortash's Steel Watchers harming his spawns. Allegedly, he was supposed to play a greater role in the interplay between the city's factions. A question arises then, why would he tell Astarion that he amounted to nothing? Is it another offense to Astarion dying before he could be considered accomplished by social standards, or is it something else?

Could Astarion really have already been entangled with Cazador in his career as a magistrate, after all?

(I need content where we can explore his lifetime so bad, even if it means breaking into an empty ruin and finding a portrait, a handkerchief, a sheet of cheesy poems, anything)

okay wait I saw a comment on the patch 8 animation pointing out the knockoff Sleep Token poster in Astarion's room WHAT

people say it's a nod to all the Sleep Token edits he gets

I signed up for an ao3 invite to incentivize myself to not be afraid in continuing my fanfic-writing journey. Maybe some of my writing will see the light of day after all, or maybe I'll just post snippets on here. I'm mostly writing for myself but it would be really cool if someone else read it but I'm also terrified of that. I've convinced myself that every other person on the planet is a better writer than me and I will be pelted with tomatoes if I ever post my own work. Currently trying to un-convince myself of that.

Can't wait to see if Toby Fox accounted for the fact that I downloaded Spamton but never put him into the neo body so I'm just carrying him around on a flash drive in my pocket.

I have a bad habit of mentally overstimulating myself with emotional experiences through fiction so I am trying to chill out a bit in the aftermath of my first bg3 playthrough. It was suggested I try the Baldur's Village mod, and I finally figured out how to make it work!!! I haven't played sdv in a while, so it's nice to start a new save anyway. this mod is making me smile so much already — I love it. So far we've got:

I hate to break it to you, Lewis, but none of them are law-abiding and only Wyll and Gale pay taxes.

Fine art.

The best boy in the realms!!!

Rolan with his 57 precepts

My portraits are bugged lol (or this group is just full of weirdos)

I FOUND HIM the man finally left his room.

This is my reading posture, too.

He just took like thirty sips in a row. Is he okay?

Astarion, were... were you eating a bowl of blood like it's tomato soup?

Astarion wants an eel? I will get him an eel. I caught it through sheer force of will.

The eel appeased him.

This mod makes me very happy. I'm trying not to do the very thing I was avoiding in downloading this mod by speedrunning it obsessively. Calm down. Plant a cauliflower. Process your first bg3 playthrough in peace and stop feeling like you need to do everything at once.