Snakes Smell With Their Tongue

anyways fuck bosses, they suck fr fr

ugh what do u MEAN i have to publish my work so people know im a writer?? whack.

i wanna talk about this shot

jason, a few years later, dragging in a small, barely a preteen tim by the back of his collar: hey so i saw this lil guy alone at the gala last night so i brought him home

bruce, not learning from the first time and waving it off to finally sleep off the stress from the gala: that's nice, jaylad

. . .

[at breakfast]

bruce, confused by there being 3 young boys at the table: wait, when did-

jason, without missing a beat: too late, alfred said we can keep him

dick, with tears in his eyes: they grow up so fast

bruce: ... *sighs* tim, pass the salt

13 y/o dick grayson, holding 9 y/o jason todd like a stray cat: bruce, i got a little brother!

bruce, doing paperwork for WE, not paying attention: that’s great, chum

. . .

bruce, several hours later: wait, what?!

dick: it’s okay, alfred said we can keep him!

yk considering bruce is such a paranoid bat, i'm surprised he didn't have a whole high-heel wearing fighting routine like he's fought catwoman and other female characters who wear heels and fight, heels would make the training 10x harder and help for everyone to have a better center of balance, as well as good for learning to muffle your footsteps with shoes that are typically noisy with every step; not to mention that if undercover work required heels for some reason or other, the person going won't be hindered by heels

also heels can be a deadly weapon, make the heel part of a high stiletto be an actual blade and ik damian and jason are all for it

which brings me to my conclusion that dick, while being a bit wobbly at first, actually takes to it like a duck to water; cass only needed a few minutes to get used to it, she's a ballerina, heels are nothing to her; surprisingly jason doesn't struggle as much as a man of his size typically would but it still takes him a good while before he's as good on heels as not; duke and steph struggle greatly as they keep forgetting they have heels on; tim surprisingly does pretty well in comparison but complains over how much it hurts and still struggles being able to stay standing when pushed too hard; damian learns in like a week simply because he's too stubborn to admit defeat and spent almost every waking hour wearing them, getting used to them, and training with them (i wouldn't put it past him to go to school wearing some black, easily non noticeable smaller heels just to continue his training)

bonus: bruce, while training them for heel combat, wears heels and makes it look v easy but then one night catwoman comes over or smth and she cackles when she tells the batfam stories of when bruce had asked her for help on that and the many trials and errors he struggled through; no one noticed but during that time, batman added heels to his usual get up for extra training (he got rid of them after he was much more proficient in heel combat but tim and barbara were able to find some old footage of batman swinging thru gotham; there they were able to confirm that batman was sporting some high thigh length platform heel boots because ofc if the bat is going to do anything, it must fit his aesthetic and be dramatic too)

may the muse well never run dry, may the au's florish, may the inspiration be overflowing

I call upon the fan fic writing gods to bless you with the perseverance to finish one of your unfinished drafts. 

May your fingers dance along the letters upon your device with ease, may the devil of distraction stay far from you, and may your work not need much editing.

I pass this blessing upon every fan fic writer out there.

Adventures in babysitting: a saga

One hour in:

Two hours in:

Three hours in:

Four hours in:

Five hours in:

Six hours in:

Seven hours in:

Bonus:

He’s a great influence (Tim broke into his flat)