I Love Coffee...

I wonder

I wonder if my parents ever think I'm human too

A human with a mind and not just flesh

A human who has a heart and feelings.

I wonder if my parents ever think I have dreams too

That my existence is not meant to fulfill their dreams

That they don't own me just because I come from them

I wonder if my parents ever think I'm okay, too.

That they're not the only ones who have it rough

Their words and actions towards me cut like a knife!

I wonder if my parents ever think I'm an adult too

That I've grown not only physically, but mentally

I wished they would not treat me like a kid while making decisions.

I wonder if my parents ever think there are other children who struggle like I do too

That I'm not a failure like they think I am

Comparing me to other kids who had success in their time

What do I do

How do I let it out

Where do I go to release

By Adia

I don't have the mental space or energy for writing, but the ideas are percolating and one day they will bubble over and spill out on the paper and then you'll all see!!

“I love you, that means I’m not just here for the pretty parts. I’m here no matter what.”

— Claudia Gray

QUIETLY LETTING GO

If being with me, caused you to become toxic

I would gladly let go of you for you

Being beside me might have caused you your delay

Delay in your purpose for this life

I would sever our ties just so you could move forward in life

All I wish is the best for you in this life

The dreams that you have for the world

I want you to achieve them all

And if I'm the obstacle in your life

I would gladly remove myself just so you could soar higher

I love you like a friend would, a sister

If letting go of your hand was all it took

For you to break free from this stagnant life

I would do everything I could to let go of you

Even if that meant watching you succeed in life from afar

I understand the consequences of letting go of this beautiful thing

That our relationship will never be the same

I would never be able to be silly and crazy around you

Come running to you whenever my world is falling apart

But I care more about you that I'm willing to sever it

Now I see you succeeding in life

doing the things you loved doing

being able to be what you always dream of

Even though it hurts that I can't be close to you like before

It's worth seeing the genuine smile on your face that I would do it all over again.

I long to kill the writers block fairy

“Your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul.”

— Charlie Chaplin in a letter to his daughter, Geraldine

Once

Just for once, let me be selfish for myself.

Let me focus on my goals, my needs, and my life in all

Why do I have to keep worrying about everyone

And putting myself on the back burner

Why? Because I'm supposed to care for others first?

In the midst of taking care of your mental and emotional wellbeing,

taking care of drama and arguments that has nothing to do with me

moping after their dirt and cleaning up the trash

Just so it sorts out well for them to be happy

Who's going to sort out mine?

Should I have kids myself, so I can dump my problems on them,

Do I always have to walk on eggshells around you all

Why should I let go of my dreams to fulfill yours?

Being kind and empathetic for others drains me

I hate interactions and socializing with people now.

Existing seems like a chore to me than a gift

So, please just for once let me focus on myself

My mental and emotional wellbeing needs care too

I'm not asking you to care for me,

I'm asking you to let go of your hold against me

I'm a human too

I have needs and dreams too

I also want to be healthy in mind and body too

I deserve happiness too,

Please don't cage me in anymore.

- By Adia