Latest Posts by rachelcarrot - Page 6

#tw: rape #rape # tw: sexual assault

When I was 13 years old and curious about sex and love, I asked my mom if she had had sex before marrying my father (of whom she is still married to, and has been since before I was born). She said that that wasn’t really a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question. I said ‘sure it is, you’ve either had sex before him, or you haven’t’. She brought me onto the couch and sat me down and told me about the boy she liked when she was young and how one night she snuck into his house while his parents were gone and they were kissing and he said they should have sex and she said that she wanted to save sex for marriage and he laughed and basically took all her clothes off and he raped her and as my mom was telling the story she cried and this was the second time I had ever seen my mom cry. She was 12 when it happened.

In grade 8 I got a call from my friend in the middle of the night and she was drunk in the park crying and told me that she went out that night with some other friends and they drank a little and her guy “friend” starting flirting and yes she laughed at first but then he tried to pull her shirt over her head and she pulled away and he ripped her shirt and it was her favourite shirt and then he pushed her to her knees and HIS BEST FRIEND HELD HER JAW OPEN WHILE HE FACE FUCKED HER. And so I went to the park and picked her up and took her home and slept in her bed with her except we didn’t sleep because she just cried and her mouth bled and this was four years ago but I still have to be the one to bring her items to the till it the cashier is a man, and she still has anxiety attacks and she’ll get a rash all over her body and I just want to kill those boys but instead they are still walking around. And I’m in the bathroom with her, dabbing at her skin with a warm cloth until it returns to its regular colour.

And in grade 9 one of my closest friends was kinda seeing this boy and so they hung out one night and then she said that she really had to be getting back home and he said that she wasn’t going anywhere until she gave him what he wanted and he parked the car and took off her clothes and she said no and he ignored her and so she laid in the backseat totally limp and just cried and it wasn’t even sex, he just masterbated by using her body instead of his hand and she came to school the next day with vodka in her water bottle and she drank all day and I had to fight her to get the alcohol away from her and she just cried and threw up and I skipped class while I held her hair back and that same boy texted me a month later, asking if I ever wanted to hangout sometime.

And in that same year my very best friend who has never even kissed a boy, confessed to me that when she was 9 years old, her 12 year old cousin made her give him a hand job and he told her that was what cousins do and he gave her a chocolate bar afterwards and she told me that he probably doesn’t even remember it but that it’s something that she’ll never have the luxury of forgetting.

And in grade 10 I knew a girl who invited her best friend over to watch Disney movies and then he started to put his hands down her pants and she said no but she is 130lbs and he is 220lbs and he called her a tease while she tried to fight him but he used one hand to hold her down, and the other to put inside of her and i was the one to push her inside of a classroom and stand in front of her while calling the police when he showed up at our school looking for her and she was so damn scared.

And a few months later I skipped class and was in the car with a guy who i had had unprotected sex with in the past while under the influence of cocaine but this time I was sober and I insisted we use a condom but he told me he couldn’t feel anything while the condom was on so he ripped it off and I said I refused to have unprotected sex again and so he just grabbed me and forced himself into my mouth and I was crying and he pulled me onto him and I just came saying “stop” over and over like a broken record but he must’ve heard something different because he went until he came and I just sat naked in the backseat while he drove me back to the school and said “we should do this again sometime”. And I had five showers that night and I scratched at my skin so hard to try and rip his fingerprints off of me, I still have the scars.

And I found out soon afterwards that that same guy had raped a classmate of mine, 5 months earlier and she told me about how he brought her McDonald’s first, and how he said they could take things slow and she told me about how he didn’t listen to her either. And he goes to our school and so after she told me about her incident and I told her about mine, we decided to report it to the police and the trial is currently still going on and he told people about it, except in his version we are just “asking for attention” and all his friends talk about how bad they feel for him. As if HE is the one that still wakes up screaming. As if HE felt like his skin no longer was beautiful, no longer belonged to him. And I held her in my arms as she bawled after giving the police her statement. And she did the same for me.

And I met a woman a year ago in a paint store and she had a service dog and I asked what the dog was for and it turns out that she had been so brutally raped and abused in her life, that the dog is literally trained to keep men away from her.

And I’m so FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF THIS WORLD WE ARE LIVING IN. How many rape victims eyes have I already looked into? How many more will I? And how many more friends will I hold while they shake? Because I don’t know how many more I can take. And who the fuck still has the nerve to make rape jokes? And… Something just has to change. Please, someone just start being that change.

-16 year old girl

House intruders (don’t call the police)

smh

Friendly Reminder

Next gen HP takes place in 2017. squiggly eyebrows, fidget spinners, dabbing, Jake paulers, and the emoji movie all exist. Oh god. Who knows? 2017 Hogwarts Might be a time to actually hate Muggle-Borns.

TO THE GIRL WHO LOVES HIM NEXT

i truly hope he is better to you than he was to me. i hope to god he learned from me, that he learnt how to be a better boyfriend, a better lover, a better man. i hope he’s stopped smoking, if he hasn’t then you and i both know how angry he is when he’s high. i truly hope the sober him is more calm, found the peace he was always searching for. i hope he’s kinder, that he finally accepted himself and can now see that it’s okay for people to be whoever they want to be. i didn’t accept me for a long time, honestly i don’t know if he ever will but i hope he sees you and i hope he loves you for who you are. don’t become the girl he may try and make you into. it’s hard i know, you want to be enough for him, i did too but it ended up eating me away until i didn’t know who i was anymore. i hope he’s better to you. i hope you’re happy. i hope you two work out.

Pt. 7// 4am

The Salem News, Ohio, January 13, 1908

I need to prove a point to my school

Reblog if you believe that sexual predators should be punished, no matter their sexuality

I need to prove a point to my school

Reblog if you believe that sexual predators should be punished, no matter their sexuality

My heart ❤️ 😭❤️

Guys my cat is so polite

Getting teased about something you’re actually really insecure about

Take a shower, wash off the day. Drink a glass of water. Make the room dark. Lie down and close your eyes. Notice the silence. Notice your heart. Still beating. Still fighting. You made it, after all. You made it, another day. And you can make it one more. You’re doing just fine.

Charlotte Eriksson (via wordsnquotes)

you know that feeling you get when you’ve just showered and you crawl into a soft bed with clean sheets and you just feel safe and calm? that’s how I want my heart to feel

The thing I hate most about depression is that it tricks you into thinking you don’t have depression. It makes you think that nothing is wrong with you, that you just feel this way because you lack value as a person. Whether that’s in your relationships, your academics, or a view of yourself, it makes you think you aren’t good enough for any of that.

“It’s not the illness,” it says, “You feel this way because it’s who you are.”

Can we please stop making scary shark movies? Sharks are pure sweet babies that don’t deserve this slander. They just have bad eyesight. Don’t be mean to them.

The Vampire Diaries (2009-2017)

I don’t even know how or where to start…

I’ll never forget watching the series premiere of The Vampire Diaries back on September 10th, 2009 when I was just 19 years old. I’d heard about the show a few months before it aired and made sure to watch the first episode ever live on TV. And from the second the pilot ended with Elena inviting Stefan into her house with The Fray’s “Never Say Never” playing in the background, I was hooked. Obsessed. And that’s an understatement. I only had a couple hundred followers back then and most of those followers probably don’t even follow me anymore, or have forgotten my obsession with the show, but back then my blog used to be so much TVD it’s crazy. Just thinking back and even now going through my old tags from the show, I remember how much I used to love it. The Vampire Diaries was, in those days, 100% my favourite show on TV. Hands down.

I always thought Stelena was cute and I never hated on them. I get why people loved them, and their relationship was strong & sweet. But yes, I was a Delena shipper through-and-through, basically from day one. I think Damon and Elena were my first ever true “OTP”. Back then that term was so new, it was Tumblr that taught me the meaning of it, and Delena was absolutely my #1 OTP at the time.

The early seasons (1-3) of The Vampire Diaries were obviously the best, and in my opinion, iconic. There are so many epic, unforgettable moments from the earlier years that I wish I could just list off right now, like Katherine’s return to town, Caroline turning into a vampire, Delena’s first official kiss on Elena’s iconic front porch. There’s SO many more countless scenes, and I wish I could explain my love for them all.

I enjoyed Season 4 too, but I will never ever forget episode 4x15. For me, that was the turning point for the show. It was the saddest, darkest episode of television I’d ever watched at the time, and watching Elena’s house go up in flames was devastating. Who else remembers seeing the close-up shots of Elena’s converse shoes burning, and most importantly, seeing her infamous diary being destroyed by the flames? It almost felt like a series finale to me, and I think that’s where it all changed.

I started feeling a little less passionate in Seasons 5 & 6, and then when Nina left the show I just stopped watching it altogether. After she left I only downloaded the new episodes once in a while just to keep track of the general storylines, but TVD lost its magic, and I no longer felt the passion and obsession and love for it that I once did.

That being said though, it has always and will forever hold a special place in my heart. 

I don’t feel for the characters as much as I once did, and yeah that’s a little scary to me, but I guess we all grow up and we all move on. I’m 27 now, things have changed. A lot of things. It’s all in the past now, and it hurts. But no matter what, I will always, always love this show and will forever be grateful for it, regardless of the fact that it wasn’t perfect.

The series finale wasn’t the greatest, but I still am 100% satisfied with the ending overall. My general thoughts:

Damon and Elena’s reunion was anti-climactic to me, especially since they didn’t have any dialogue with one another. But I also am okay with that I think? Ian & Nina’s break-up obviously caused the show to go downhill (yeah I said it) so I didn’t necessarily need some lovey-dovey romantic speech from them. I’m not sure if it would have felt authentic enough. So I’m okay with just knowing that they ended up being ENDGAME (yaaaas) and living a long and happy life together. If this was 2010 I would have been SO passionate about them being endgame. The amount of times I discussed and debated Delena vs. Stelena back in the day, omfg. I’ve grown up and I don’t feel as passionate anymore about it, but my 20 year old self is still inside me jumping up and down that my ship was endgame (sorry haters). 

I feel like Katherine didn’t get enough air-time, her story and presence in the last episode felt more forced and rushed rather than cathartic, but I’m still just happy that I got to see her fierce crazy bitch ass one last time. (Even though I kind of always wanted her to end up with Stefan tbh…) 

Stefan dying was predictable but so depressing. Although tbh seeing him reunited in the afterlife with his bestie Lexi made everything okay.

Seeing that letter from Klaus to Caroline made me smile so fucking hard. I still ship it and I hope to god she eventually ends up on The Originals.

Bonnie Bennett is QUEEN of everything and all that matters is that she saved the day and got to live a long, happy life after all the bullshit the poor girl had to go through all these years. I’m so happy she’s safe and sound.

I loved how they incorporated the “ghosts” of all the characters who’ve died, it gave me so many feelings, especially seeing Sheriff Forbes.

The fact that at the end of his long life with Elena, Damon found his way back to Stefan in the afterlife makes me feel so happy and satisfied. But NOTHING compares to the happiness I felt seeing Elena turn towards her old house, to that iconic front porch, and her being reunited with Jenna and her parents. That’s honestly all I could have ever hoped for and more for the ending to this show.

I don’t think I can ever truly explain the love and passion I used to feel for The Vampire Diaries. It may sound stupid to a lot of people, but it meant so much to me and I’m not embarrassed to say it. It breaks my heart that I’ll never get the good old days back again. But I’ll never forget it, ever.

Thank you, The Vampire Diaries, for a bumpy but amazing ride. It’s been epic ;)

You are wearing those sad eyes for too long now. Isn’t it the time to be happy again? There are thousand kinds of love out there. Do not suffer because of him——because of your love for him. Love wouldn’t feel like hell if you are holding the right kind.

J.DG (via iamjomaried)

Teen Wolf Fandoms after 6x09

Srydia: *Shitting everywhere*

Stalia: Are they fucking shitting us?!

Sciles: ARE THEY FUCKING SHITTING US?!

Marrish: *still in the coffins* We seriously died for this shit?

Sterek:Derek didn’t left for this shit…

Theo x Liam: They did some shit together!

I think neither Hades nor Anubis are evil. They’re misunderstood. They’re seen as the bad gods, the lonely ones, etc., because humans fear to death and unknown.

Season 1 Stiles: expresses his feelings to Lydia

Season 1 Lydia: stays with Jackson

Season 2 Stiles: hints to Lydia at how he likes her

Season 2 Lydia: tells Jackson she loves him

Season 3a: panic attack kiss

Season 3a Stiles: doesn't mention the kiss again and moves along like nothing happened

Season 3a Lydia: hooked up with random guy, doesn't mention the kiss again and Aiden tells her he knew she liked him while she smiles at him

Season 3b stiles: sleeps with Malia, barely shares screen time with Lydia except for the last couple episodes

Season 3b Lydia: hooking up with Aiden again

Season 4 Stiles: is with Malia and barely shares screen time with Lydia

Season 4 Lydia: doesn't show much attention to stiles and starts voluntarily hanging around Parrish

Season 5a stiles: still with Malia, breakup out of nowhere, focused on having killed someone

Season 5a Lydia: hanging with Parrish helping him embrace who he is while working on her own powers, sitting in eichen, shows her feelings for Parrish by touching his hand (confirmed by Jeff)

Season 5b Stiles: working on bringing the pack together again, working on Scott and his relationship, 1 episode with stiles "saving" Lydia (lol bullshit), doesn't show any romantic feelings for Lydia , tries to fight the desert wolf for Malia

Season 5b Lydia: after the rescue doesn't pay much attention to stiles, stays with Parrish the entire episode after that, shows a lot of concern for Parrish, banshee and hellhound connection

Season 5b: ends with Lydia and stiles as only friends who have shown no romantic interest in each other

Season 6a stiles: REMEMBER I LOVE YOU

Season 6a Lydia: THE KISS IS WHEN IT ALL CHANGED, I NEVER SAID IT BACK, I THINK I LOVED HIM, WHEN I KISSED YOU *cries hysterically*

Stydiots: it's a slow burn

Me: error 404 not found

It was until our eyes met and we held each other’s gaze for a while. Since then, I start to want a lot of things. I want our bones to melt together. I want to fill the dawn sky with the color of your eyes. I want to fall asleep to the sound of your tender voice. I want you to devour me. Make me a part of you. Let me live in you.

Lukas W. // I want you (via somepiecesofmyheartandsoul)

I dreamt last night that you came back. You layed there, holding onto me, the words dripping off your tongue like honey as you apologized for leaving and when you kissed me you tasted of it too. We kissed and kissed, pouring every apology, every tear, every ounce of love into each other. I awoke screaming, not because I hated it, not because it was a nightmare, but because it was everything I had been wishing for.

AND PEOPLE WONDER WHY I DONT SLEEP ANYMORE// 4am (via 4am-reflections)

Now Caity spoke the TRUTH

Well, you’ll break his heart and he’ll break yours. But you won’t forget each other, even if one day you walk past him and neither of you acknowledges it. That’s the thing about first loves, you never forget them, they are the only person who gets your whole untouched heart. They get all the love you’ve saved up for this moment and they get to keep it forever. You may never speak again but you can guarantee that you can still picture his eyes looking into yours as he said those three words, the way he kissed you afterwards and couldn’t stop repeating those words over and over until you were both too tired to speak. However you’ll also always remember the last time he said those three words, and told you that he was going to come back for you, the way he made you believe that a happy ending did exist for both of you. Those memories will come back to you in waves, all the firsts and all the lasts, the good and the bad, but what’s important is the fact that your first love is just that, the first but not the last.

from me to you (via gemmarambles)