Gay SKULMUST To You And Yours

Gay SKULMUST to You and Yours

I wanna decorate but I don’t wanna deal with the nebulous resentful feelings of “I basically rejected chistianity when i was 5* (*children’s service or whatever when they made the kids go up front to get churched on during holiday service instead of letting us play in the basement, that was like baby’s first social anxiety trauma for me. and made me the godless heathen i am today.) and never looked back and also I loath the capitalist connotations of the holiday” and also I don’t really have decorations besides my homosexual glittlerbombed tree that I’ve had out all year because moving is hard and it makes me happy to see it sparkle rainbowly.

so I guess I’m making up my own holiday, Plaguemas is maybe too on the nose… while I was writing this I was gonna call it SKULLMAS, but while searching to make sure that wasn’t already a thing didn’t bring up much I felt like it was still too… idk. Obvious?

So I’m calling it SKULMUST (all caps, all the time) after skulls and my favorite (and hard to get in the US) soda, julmust! (The “must” loosely translates to unfermented fruit or juice, so I guess I’m calling my fake holiday “skull juice” hahaha) Because I mainly have glitter and halloween decorations. And I’m not buying more decorations.

Pandor’s SKULMUST Manifesto(? jk it’s a bulleted list)

SKULMUST is for anyone who wants to appreciate some cheesy x-mas vibes, but rejects the religious and capitalist connotations of Christmas

SKULMUST is for anyone who wants Halloween to be a 4 to 6+ month holiday instead of one day a year

SKULMUST is for anyone who is getting tired of MERRY CRISIS all the time and just wants to feel a little happy, as a treat.

SKULMUST begins whenever the first store decides to start putting out the halloween decorations (the earliest I’ve seen is mid May) and ends when you get bored with it. (This sounds like it goes against the anti-capitalist sentiment I laid out prior, but it’s mainly 1. irony and 2. just admit it, you celebrate the pumpkin watch every year and you know it.)

SKULMUST encourages recycling and crafting to make your decorations, only buy more supplies if you really need them and only support small independent businesses

SKULMUST has no dress requirements but one: WEAR A FUCKING MASK*. Other than than that, create your own SKULMUST costume vibe! Ugly sweaters + general Gothiness + Dickensian Victorian floof + early 2000′s Emo mall kid… listen to your heart and go buckwild. (*in SKULMUST future, when we’ve presumably gotten rid of this plague, wear masks in remembrance.)

Entertainment of SKULMUST: Muppets Christmas Carol (preferably a copy that doesn’t cut Belle’s song), Whisper of the Heart (Ghibli’s love letter to depressed young creatives and a damn fine film), Metropolis (1927) or Metropolis (2001). MST3K S05E21. And like I guess Nightmare Before Christmas, if you wanna like be obvious.

Spirit of SKULMUST: If you have the means, donate to a non-shitty charity or directly to anyone who’s having a rough time. Make Charles Dickens proud.

Decorations of SKULMUST : Primarily up to your own tastes, but the general thesis of SKULMUST is the blatant unholy marriage of skulls and skeletons to garlands and wreaths, but like also GAY. (You don’t HAVE to be gay yourself to celebrate SKULMUST, but I am gay. So like, as the creator of this bogus holiday, I sez the decorations gotta have that vibe. I will relax the “don’t buy stuff” rule to allow emergency December Diamonds ornament purchases.) Do you have a motion activated screeching rat decoration? Put a santa hat on it’s head. Or whatever! You keep SKULMUST in your way, and I’ll keep it in mine! But yeah like regardless of your background, you’ve got a skull. Embrace the skull, celebrate the skull. Glam up some skulls!

Slogans of SKULMUST : Gay SKULMUST to You! Queer Tidings! WEAR A MASK AND SOCIAL DISTANCE THIS SKULMUST! An isolated and weird SKULMUST to all! (I need suggestions for more, they just need to be primarily LGBTQIA+ and plague punny.)

Ok I’ve spent way longer on this and thought too deeply about SKULMUST than I intended. Gonna go dig thru some boxes and make a SKULMUST wreath now. Or go to bed. I got sleepy!