So Silly When Straight Friends Slap My Ass With A Stretchy Hand. Do It Yourself, Coward.

im always thinking about two things:

⋆. ࿔𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆟 𓆝 𓆝༄⋆｡°✶

.°˖⋆𓃔𓃽𓃗 .°˖⋆

Oh gosh darn I’ve had so much fun I’m not allowed to have any for a few days

Guys in Hawaiian shirts either have life figured out or are going through their midlife crisis

If I could curl up in a ball and turn to stone as soon as possible that would be ideal thank you

okay but what if. what if instead of starting a new show I rewatched that other show. for a third time.

Love how companies only deterrent to getting free beverages is not having a cup. Bold of you to assume I won’t cup my hands and drink it like a dog.

Fight the system by doing things that make you happy

When I die I would like funeral games to be conducted in stead of a will. They shall have to earn my spoils if they truly want my inheritance of $2. Naked men wrestling optional.

I love run on sentences because not only are they useful for writing a more cohesive story, they let you add as many words in your essay as you want, and you can also torment the reader by having only commas as pauses for breath.

You will not die at the hands of quicksand. Ask me how I know this