Albedo: If You Bite It And You Die, It's Poisonous. If It Bites You And You Die, It's Venomous.

Albedo: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous.

Amber: What if it bites me and it dies?

Albedo: Then you're poisonous.

Jean: What if it bites itself and I die?

Albedo: That's voodoo.

Noelle: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Albedo: That's correlation, not causation.

Lisa: What if we bite each other and neither of us die?

Kaeya: That's kinky.

Jean, shaking her head: Oh my god-

More Posts from Puppycrime and Others

3 years ago

I know that 11 was done but can i request it with kaeya with a male preferance, and a male reader?

If it isnt to much to ask

11. Preferences; the character explains their usual preference in partners such as women or men

-----

 I Know That 11 Was Done But Can I Request It With Kaeya With A Male Preferance, And A Male Reader?

- The tavern was bustling when you and Kaeya had came for a little bit of drinking. Drunken cheers and hearty laughter filling the place top to bottom. You stood close to Kaeya who easily made his way through.

"It seems all of Mondstadt had the same ideas as us," Kaeya chirps, gently pushing past people who stood around tables.

Kaeya leads you up the stairs. Although it was still a little full, at least the people up here stayed mostly seated, only a few leaning against the railing. Kaeya pulls out a chair of a far end table.

"A perfect spot." Kaeya sighs as he leans back into his chair. "I don't mind a little partying, but not every occasion I spend here consists of the same loudness."

You sat across from Kaeya with your arms crossed on the table. You could see down below of the bar with stools filled with men and women, the surface dirtied with spills and crumbs.

"Well, I'm going down to get our drinks. The usual?" Kaeya asks, already hopping of out his seat.

You nod with a smile, Kaeya flickers his own pearly whites and struts down. Once he's gone, you lean your head on the table, your cheeks burning.

You had hoped the tavern wouldn't be so full. You wanted it to have a nice, slow pace perfect for a romantic setting. It was a beautiful place at night if it has no ruckus, but what could you expect? The people here love their alcohol.

You sigh, leaning your chin on your hand when you look down. You instantly spot Kaeya's rich blue hair amongst the crowd. He's at the bar, and a woman has her hand on his back. Kaeya is smiling at her, chatting away while he seemingly waits for the drinks.

You and Kaeya weren't a thing, not yet at least, but you were trying to make progress. You weren't even completely sure of his type of guy. He never brought it up. You knew he flirted around with all types, but that's mainly for work; when he needed answers. What he does at work doesn't reflect what he likes in his own time, right?

Lost in your own thoughts, a tall mug is suddenly placed down in front of you. You jolt up. Kaeya laughs as he slides back into his chair.

"Did I startle you? My bad." He takes a swig of his drink. "It seems like your head was in the clouds."

You rub the back of your neck sheepishly, apologizing. Kaeya waves his hand.

"It's fine, but since it's just the two of us I'd like it if you paid more attention to me~" Kaeya smirks, a chuckle leaving his lips as he drinks.

Your face heats up. There he goes again, saying things that make your heart race. Did he find it fun to make you embarrassed? Or was there depth to his words? Your mind traces back to the women he chatted with. Your fingers tap your mug.

"Hey, Kaeya..."

Kaeya hums, his eyes never leaving you as your mind stumbles across your thoughts for the right words.

"What kind of women do you like?" You cringe at yourself. It came off too blunt, too nosey. Knowing Kaeya, he could definitely sniff out the intentions of your question.

Kaeya looks up to the ceiling, leaning back and crossing his arms. His eye seems to struggle, but his lips are amused.

"Hard to say. My attraction in the women's department has been quite hard to figure out. I've met some lovely ones though."

"So. Which do you like more?" Your voice came out a little weird, you were obviously suspicious now. Though, at this point, perhaps directness is better.

Kaeya leans in close, his elbows on the table. "Oh my, am I being interrogated?"

You take a long sip of your drink, letting it take over your senses. You release with a sigh.

"No, I just wanna know," you say, hardly even believing yourself. "I wanna get a little closer is all..."

Kaeya's eye shines. "I have some taste for women, but men have always been a little more of my flavour."

Kaeya suddenly reaches out, his hand sliding across the table until his fingers reach yours resting beside your drink. His fingertips kiss yours. His gaze never leaves you.

"Men who make me feel comfortable and free, men who can make me feel like I'm on top of the world again, make me laugh," Kaeya grabs your hand and brings your fingers to his lips. "men who can make me open my heart to them."

His lips kiss your knuckles. Your face was burning to the tips of your ears. Your mouth opens but you close it in case you say something stupid to ruin it. Although you felt embarrassed, your body was relaxed, his tender touch making you feel light.

"So, me?" You mutter, almost drowned out by the clinking of beer mugs.

"I just described my type, didn't I? It seems you match it perfectly." Kaeya purrs then releases your hand. Your fingers felt cold without his.

The table was quiet for a moment. You processed his words and your thoughts. Kaeya chugged down the last of his drink and wiped the side of his mouth.

"I'm going to get a refill." Kaeya stands up, patting the top of your head before leaving. "I'll be waiting for your confession, lover boy~"


Tags
3 years ago
🐺 › RAZOR
🐺 › RAZOR
🐺 › RAZOR
🐺 › RAZOR
🐺 › RAZOR
🐺 › RAZOR
🐺 › RAZOR
🐺 › RAZOR
🐺 › RAZOR

🐺 › RAZOR

with hints of being trans

requested by anonymous


Tags
3 years ago

dragon hybrid s/o w/diluc, venti, albedo, & kaeya

Dragon Hybrid S/o W/diluc, Venti, Albedo, & Kaeya

a/n; i,, got bored, i thought about doing this with a dog hybrid s/o but nah, tall dragon hybrid s/o <3

also for reference I'd say reader is about 6'7 ish? maybe taller.

warnings; slight nsfw themes in kaeya's (whoops), these characters might be ooc idk

Dragon Hybrid S/o W/diluc, Venti, Albedo, & Kaeya
Dragon Hybrid S/o W/diluc, Venti, Albedo, & Kaeya

diluc ragnvindr

he's fairly surprised that someone of your kind exists in this world

but he supposes nothing is impossible

he likes your height

he's just not used to being shorter than someone

also he's not used to that someone being a dragon hybrid

hugs are so nice <3 he's so warm and he's so sweet with you

he gets scared to touch your tail or your horns

he likes to know as much as he can about you so he can accommodate for you

both of you are such an intimidating duo without realizing it

he makes sure no one teases you about how you look

you pamper him with being big spoon sometimes and just with anything else in general

Dragon Hybrid S/o W/diluc, Venti, Albedo, & Kaeya

venti

you and dvalin are besties <3

venti loves how tall you are so much!

he makes you carry him on his back

cute gliding buds

you don't really have wings though but venti is happy to teach you about how to glide

he will write a song about you

he's always the little spoon, he's always down to be coddled :( i love him pls

literally gentle giant and small gremlin type beat

venti about to throw hands at anyone who tries to even hurt you

sometimes, sometimes when you're in windrise, he lets you rest on his lap

you try to tell him you're too heavy but he doesn't give a damn

Dragon Hybrid S/o W/diluc, Venti, Albedo, & Kaeya

albedo

he's so enamored with you

he just wants to know so much about you

he might've done some experiments in trying to find out if you had powers that didn't require a vision

he's so short but that's okay <3

he would draw you all day if he could

he makes sure to tell you how much he appreciates your features

constant reassurance from him so you never feel insecure <3

he's so sweet abt everything

sometimes he does ask for weird things like your spit or some form of dna bc he really wants to know more about your kind, but other than that, complete sweetheart

he's not one for cuddles or affection often but that's only because he doesn't know how to initiate or even give affection

he's gonna take it REALLY slow

Dragon Hybrid S/o W/diluc, Venti, Albedo, & Kaeya

kaeya alberich

he's a bit of a lil shit but you still love him

during like really intimate or calm moments when his hands are tracing over your face, he really like the texture of the scales on your cheeks

he stares at you so lovingly because he "wants to memorize every part of your face"

this man is so whipped without realizing it

he also avoids touching your tail and horns

if he teases you, you usually tease him back tenfold with your tail wrapped around his waist

he's no sub,,, HOWEVER- tall dragon person 🛐🛐 he will gladly go on his knees for you

sometimes after a long day of work, he will just go into your arms and just sleep

you're happy to take care of him and him with you ofc

occasional visits to liyue are a must, not only bc of commissions but for a little getaway vacation for you and him <3


Tags
3 years ago

(hair)tied up

(hair)tied Up

pairing: diluc x reader, reader is gender neutral (but has hair long enough to be tied up)

a/n: i have no idea where this came from but it’s here now so. enjoy? pls lmk if you like it! i’ll edit this later on i just need this brainworm OUT. uhhh they might be a lil ooc and diluc blushes a lot (but he can’t help it he’s pasty) and i apologize for the god awful title i’ll do better when i can think okay

word count: 1.2k

warnings: none! it’s just fluff (they all might be a lil ooc though)

summary: kaeya tries to figure out why his brother is suddenly wearing his hair down, despite his obvious aversion to it. alternatively: diluc is down bad.

Keep reading


Tags
4 years ago

HOW THEY REACT TO : CALLING THEM "PRETTY BOY"

HOW THEY REACT TO : CALLING THEM "PRETTY BOY"

— CHARACTERS :: Kaeya , Diluc , Venti , Albedo , Bennett , Razor , Aether , Childe , Scaramouche , Zhongli , Xiao , Xingqiu , Chongyun.

— SUMMARY :: How they react to you calling them "pretty boy."

— WARNING :: None.

HOW THEY REACT TO : CALLING THEM "PRETTY BOY"

☆⌒ KAEYA : You walked up to him, cupped his cheeks, and smiled as you said, "There you are, pretty boy!" Kaeya's eyes widen, before a small chuckle leaves him, and he places his hand over yours before turning his head to press a kiss to your palm. "Here I am." He replies breathlessly, his charming smile appearing. He adores being called pretty boy, and if you add 'my' in front of it? Well, Kaeya truly wouldn't want to be referred to as anything else from you!

☆⌒ DILUC : "Pretty boy, with me." You say, walking away before stopping when you realized Diluc wasn't following you. He'd point to himself in slight confusion and shock. He's pretty boy? He'd shake his head at your words, sighing as he catches up with you, but if you pay close enough attention you can see the red that tints his ears. Pretty boy? Him? You really think so? Subconsciously he lets a small smile form and his chest puff out in pride.

☆⌒ ALBEDO : Doesn't know how to respond, so he doesn't. You call him your pretty boy after finding him studying some old texts, and he'll just nod at you before going back to his work. Weird, his heart is racing, could this be because of your words? He'll have to check into that later though he doesn't have time right now– if you're looking for a big reaction, Albedo isn't going to give one anytime soon.

☆⌒ VENTI : "Not bad, pretty boy." Venti will definitely be a bit awestruck. "Thank you~" He'll grin, giggling as he follows after you. Congrats, you've got the archons attention, and it's unlikely you'll lose it anytime soon! Venti will want to hear you call him a pretty boy again, especially if he's your pretty boy! Scratch under his chin and call him pretty boy and he'll be putty in your hands, although there is a chance he'll tease and call you his pretty boy/girl/person right back!

☆⌒ BENNETT : "Wha– You think I'm pretty?" He's so caught off guard! You think he's pretty? He'll laugh, smiling before saying "Thanks! You're... You're pretty too!" Definitely a bit blushy, very smiley! Feels like he could take on the world after you calling him pretty boy! Might run off to take on a commission or something bc he feels so lucky and in such a good mood!

☆⌒ RAZOR : "Razor pretty?" He points to himself in confusion. When you nod, ruffling his hair or giving him a soft smile, Razor will smile and nod. "Thank you. Y/n pretty too." Razor doesn't much understand the whole being pretty thing but it does make his inside warm so he doesn't mind it.

☆⌒ AETHER : His eyes widened in slight shock and he looks around. "Me?" You nod, laughing and cupping his cheeks. He'll smile softly, leaning into the warmth of your hands. "Yes, you're my pretty boy, Aether." He'll hum, he just wants to enjoy more of these soft moments with you.

☆⌒ CHILDE : "Ah, pretty boy, I was wondering where you ran off too." Childe will quirk a brow, a small smirk forming. "Pretty boy, huh? Don't go falling for me," He'll tease. Childe definitely adores being called pretty boy, but only by you. Anybody else and he'll glare daggers at them. If you pat his head and cup his cheek, he'll melt and lean into your warmth. He could get used to this~

☆⌒ SCARAMOUCHE : Sneers in disgust. "I am not a pretty boy." It'd be best to stop there, but if you persist, continuing to call Scara you're pretty boy, he'll huff in annoyance and leave whilst grumbling curses. Be lucky he has a soft spot for you, or else he might have beheaded you!

☆⌒ ZHONGLI : "Pretty boy? Me?" Zhongli will chuckle heartily, that certainly isn't something that he was expecting you to say– none the less he appreciates the compliment and will say a polite 'thank you.' He enjoys your affections, and if you continue to call him pretty boy, well he's not going to stop you!

☆⌒ XIAO : "Pretty boy! You've returned!" Xiao doesn't exactly hate it but... "Don't call me that." He'll grumble. Even though he says this, please do continue to call him pretty boy. Xiao doesn't really care about his appearance all that much, but hearing you call him pretty boy does make him smile softly later when he's by himself.

☆⌒ XINGQIU : "Do all pretty boys spend all their time in the library?" You ask, and Xingqiu almost doesnt process you (too lost in his book) but he does and his cheeks and ears burn a little. "Did you just call me pretty boy?" He asks, his heart skipping a beat when you nod. Xingqiu definitely doesn't mind being called pretty boy, and most certainly doesn't mind if it's falling from your lips!

☆⌒ CHONGYUN : Gets so shy. He'll try to avoid your gaze, but eventually he'll muster up some courage to mutter out a 'thank you.' and then he'll try and change the subject- "lets go exorcise some spiri-" "you get even more pretty when you're flustered, Chongyun!" Please, let this poor boy be or you’ll flare up his condition!

HOW THEY REACT TO : CALLING THEM "PRETTY BOY"

content belongs to @/paiimons


Tags
5 years ago
Which Boi Are You? Trying To Draw Now That I Have Time… As Such Time To Get Back On My INSANE Caffeine
Which Boi Are You? Trying To Draw Now That I Have Time… As Such Time To Get Back On My INSANE Caffeine

which boi are you? trying to draw now that i have time… as such time to get back on my INSANE caffeine consumption.

3 years ago

yeah!!! there’s so much potential, so many directions it can be taken!

i especially enjoy when it’s the powerful character pursuing the normal civilian one, who is... totally unimpressed by their status/abilities/etc.

or when the powerful character was raised in/is used to luxury bc of their status, and has no idea how things work for the average person and the civilian has to teach them. like, someone who has always had a personal chef trying to figure out how to use a microwave and their s/o is laughing & in tears in the background hehehe

and of course all the various situations where the average one gets in trouble/hurt and the powerful one has to rescue them!! classic

Anyone else have an unpopular love for "powerful character x civilian reader"?

It's just

So soft cmon

- ein

5 years ago

AU where everyone wears crocks except kirishima

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puppycrime - awful catboy bastard
awful catboy bastard

21 ✦ not sfw ✦ minors dnf this is the account where i reblog posts about fictional characters and go feral in the tags he/him ✦ it/its ✦ fang/fangs ---------------------------------------- stuff you'll find here: ✦ fanfic (that's the whole point of this account lmao), art, shitposts, brainrot ✦ obey me! & jjba (currently. this changes as my adhd drags me from one hyperfixation to another on my little leash)

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