Type Shit

I’ve already done this once lol but I’d love to talk to other people too!!

reblog if it's okay for your mutuals to message you and create an actual friendship, not just interactions

free my girl she did all that shit but the fandom is mischaracterizing her for it

I see this right after posting the original picture??? Blessed

Caitvi, Butchfemme

Gyns…. I had a date and finally got kissed on the lips by a girl for the first time yesterday 🤭🤭🤭 y’all have to deal with my rant now lol

I made her a bouquet of her favorite flowers and took her to dinner at a Thai place nearby my house, and then we went to see “Sinners” afterwards (good movie btw) and ugh it was so healing and peaceful after how anxious I always felt trying to date men.

She’s so pretty too, 70s-90s vintage femme to my 70s-90s vintage butch lol. And she respects that I’m a stone top; while she didn’t previously understand the Stone/Princess dynamic before meeting me, she said it’s actually something she’d wanted but didn’t know had a name. She’s also spiritual like I am, and she’s got big 1920s pouty eyes and a nose piercing and UGH y’all I think I have a crush 😭 We’ve been talking for about 6 weeks now but she was preparing for finals at college about an hour’s drive away so we couldn’t meet up until after she got through with them and moved back home for the summer nearer to where I live.

Anyway tho we were sitting in her car waiting for my dad to pick me up after the movie, and she kept stalling even after he arrived so I figured she wanted a kiss, so I asked her, and she said yes but she wanted me to close my eyes because she was shy, so I did and she grabbed my cheek and gave me a few all one after the other and UGH I just love being a lesbian so much.

It’s also really healing to take the part of the “pursuer” in this circumstance (which obviously isn’t necessarily a thing butches or tops have to do, I just happen to be a stereotype lol) after past experiences that left me a little shaken. This time around I get to take that role and do it right, and I think I’m already doing a good enough job because she trusted me to hold her purse when she went to the restroom lol.

Idk I’m just really happy and it’s like that deep, calm happiness where everything just feels right for the first time in your life and you can just enjoy the experience.

love calling myself a dyke like yes i am the mean and scary lesbian they warned you about on tv

This argument is so frustrating to me, as someone who has also experienced both CSA and SA as a teen and adult.

With every other form of trauma, we know there’s a tendency to continue to try and replay the bad experience to see if it’ll be different this time. We also know that tendency is harmful because while it feels good to give into that temptation, it’s ultimately reinforcing the trauma in your mind and prolonging it’s ability to have a hold on you.

However that principle is suddenly forgotten when it comes to sexual trauma, I guess because of the “don’t kink shame” thing (which is a stupid rule to have because it leaves no room for nuance. I don’t care if your kink is rubbing ice cubes on your skin for temperature play, that has no risk. However some things do have risk and that’s why I criticize them).

Continuing to trigger your sexual trauma over and over again is only feeding the cycle. I don’t want to go into too much detail, but I know this from my own experiences in my teens. It’s a compulsion that needs to be starved off, and it can be very difficult to do that, but it’s what will ultimately help you move on, instead of just being stuck in a cycle of constant triggering to “desensitize” yourself. However I also know when your trauma is severe enough, you don’t really want to move on, so I wonder if they know deep down that they’re only prolonging this limbo, but they’re afraid of what’s outside of it.

I can’t excuse knowingly feeding into the cesspool of abuse that is pornography, however. If you truly feel you need this to process, at least try and find it through erotic writing or other forms that don’t have a risk of the person you’re getting off to actually being abused in real life.

wait so you're a rape victim and you actively support an industry that RAPES women? what kind-of mental disconnect is that? putting rape into the mainstream media sure as hell doesn't help with trauma but rather facilitates more of it. hot take but YOU just made a very uniformed take.

That’s actually an insane take wtf. I’m begging people to stop basing women’s identities off of men, whether it’s for or against them. Women can and DO partake in things that doesn’t have anything to do with men. We are not based off of our differences to men. Oml.

Why do I keep getting the “Transandrophobia” tag across my dash, I literally don’t interact with any trans tags whatsoever but half of the posts I’m seeing are people whining about how it’s bad to dislike men because some are trans and don’t commit violent crimes as much.

Which like, I agree that trans men don’t commit violent crimes as often, hence why I’m not talking about them bc they were raised female and usually know better, but if I leave them out then I’m transphobic or whatever there’s not any way to win with these people.

Why do I keep getting the “Transandrophobia” tag across my dash, I literally don’t interact with any trans tags whatsoever but half of the posts I’m seeing are people whining about how it’s bad to dislike men because some are trans and don’t commit violent crimes as much.

Which like, I agree that trans men don’t commit violent crimes as often, hence why I’m not talking about them bc they were raised female and usually know better, but if I leave them out then I’m transphobic or whatever there’s not any way to win with these people.

(This was in response to me saying that it’s odd that Chappell says she’s a lesbian while also thirsting after men even within the past couple months, and saying I believe she’s likely bi and febfem)

But I am so TIRED of the “sexuality is fluid” bs. If your sexuality is fluid you are not monosexual!!! You’re bi/pan/“queer”/whatever else you want to use to refer to your status as a polysexual person, which is COMPLETELY fine. But it’s not homosexual. It’s not lesbian. These types of people are only adding fuel to the, “You haven’t tried the right dick yet” fire. Lesbians are not attracted to men, at all. Not only 30%, or 10% or even 1%. We are not attracted to men and we did not have to fight this fight for decades only for people to repackage it in a “woke” way. I’m so tired of how much the supposed left spews the patriarchy wrapped up in a pretty bow and claims it’s true leftism and I’m the backwards one.

I don’t think it’s too much to ask people to use proper words for themselves. I don’t want Chappell or anyone to conform to labels that don’t fit them, I want them to stop claiming labels that don’t fit and forcing the definition of that label to change, and instead choosing the ones that are literally right there and fit perfectly. Being bisexual is amazing and beautiful and I love my bisexual baddies, but being in denial of your bisexuality and claiming lesbianism just leads to messiness.

It's not your place to dictate anyone's sexuality. Labels are supposed to make people feel more secure, not make them feel unaccepted. This is why so many LGBTQIA members feel like they have no place in the community.

Lesbians and gay men are the main perpetrators of this. This is exclusionary, and the same kind of thinking that labels bi women sluts and erases bi men. Stop it and give people room to figure it out

I was originally going to ignore this bc it’s a pretty insane take, but it kept coming back up in my mind and led me to think about labeling in general and how my generation goes about it (and unfortunately for you anon, I stayed just as radical).

There’s two types of labels: static, or inherent, and active, or chosen, labels. Static/inherent labels are things that you are born with, and are obviously observable to everyone that looks at you. Race and sex, most notably. Those do not require you to do anything to make them true, they just are. These are the labels in which rules and stereotypes are pretty much pointless because the color of your skin or your genitals do not determine anything about you other than the fact you have them. It is medical information and nothing more, and does not influence your personality.

However active/chosen labels DO need rules and regulations or they are completely pointless. Even things such as sexual orientation (which you are born with) need you to actively engage with them, even if it is just thinking “I’m gay”, for them to be realized. You are not born, a naked infant, and the doctor looks at you and pronounces you gay, or anarchist punk, or goth, or feminist, etc etc. And since they require actions to fulfill, then having set requirements for a category is vital for us to accurately communicate information to others. And if you do not fit the criteria for a certain label, the only thing that makes any sense is to choose another label that does fit you.

This conflation of the two types of labels has lead to a lot of nightmare messes for the queer community especially, but also even with people claiming they can be conservative and goth and it’s actually more alternative to be conservative and all that mess. Have requirements to be part of a group is literally the foundation for forming a group outside of just the general public, otherwise there is no point in doing so at all.

Also, Anon honestly seems to have more biphobia than I do, which I feel like I come across a lot. As soon as I mention potential bisexuality in someone people immediately start telling me not to slut shame, that I’m erasing bisexual men (somehow?) etc, when never once did I ever say anything bad about bisexual women. I’m close friends with bi women and I love them dearly whether or not they choose to date men because that’s their prerogative. However when I say “bisexual”, you hear “bad”. I do not think it is bad for women to be attracted to men. My complaint is when you claim lesbianism, a female same-sex only orientation, while constantly expressing attraction to men, because that reinforces the “she hasn’t found the right dick yet” narrative that puts lesbians in danger. I was literally just given that line yesterday and then stalked for 45 minutes by a creepy man.

Lesbians are not attracted to men. If you are attracted to men and women you are bisexual/pansexual/whatever word you want to use to express a polysexual orientation. And if you are bisexual, I love you and thank you for your self-reflection and honesty with yourself. Labels exist to give a name to your lived reality, no label is better or worse or cooler than another, and trying to stretch labels to fit things they aren’t is really pointless when the other label that describes you perfectly is literally right there.