My Red Flag Is Isolating Myself When Life Gets Dark And Messy. I'd Stay Silent, Pull Away, Push Those

damn true

do you guys ever like forget you're interested in something until you start engaging with it again and you go "oh wait i'm like crazy crazy about this yeah"

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I am a minor so i really cant help you. I apologize.

Please share this and help them!

how inhuman of me,

to break my heart

and bones

again and again, through the night

all by myself.

i watched them strip their clothes,

revealing their bare skin.

they look down, then at me.

i see how their eyes yearn and beg.

they turn to their side and suck it in,

all until there was only a thin line.

but this line was still too thick.

it always would be.

they try again and again,

staring at me intensely each and every time.

their eyes.. desperate for something,

anything.

their hands caressed their soft skin,

it moved around and so does their flesh.

every movement mimicked its own.

and that’s when it happened.

when they hunched over,

their body vibrating with sorrow.

they look up at me, their eyes tinted crimson.

their eyes bleeding colorless blood.

“i hate you.”

they whisper.

that’s all they ever say.

they clenched their fist, but i wasn’t scared.

i knew they wouldn’t punch me,

they never did.

their hand fell onto mine,

our fingertips connecting,

and for a split second i knew how it felt to feel.

they break away, still staring at me,

and says those three familar words.

each time they got louder,

each time they meant it more,

each time it hurt less.

i watched as they resented my every being.

how their tears carved canyons in their cheeks.

how their eyes reddened with woe.

how their teeth clashed in frustration.

i felt pity for them,

i wanted to hug them, wrap them in my warmth.

maybe then they wouldn’t be so… cold.

i wish i could tell them how much i love them,

to give them the love they deserve,

to let them know that i was always here.

but i know i’ll never be able to,

after all.. i’m only a mirror.

I don't believe in god.

Nor in fate.

But I need to know.

If we will ever, like ever cross paths again.

Will I atleast get to say goodbye ?

tell me.

tell me that you never thought of me as just a plaything.

tell me that you thought of me as a real friend.

tell me that the moment you met me you thought I was a human too.

tell me that my feelings are validate and true too.

tell me that you love me.

tell me like I told you.

““You only have to look at the Medusa straight on to see her. And she’s not deadly. She’s beautiful and she’s laughing.””

— Hélène Cixous

I can kill the desire, but I can’t kill the tenderness, the need to touch you when your eyes are dark, when you are pale.

Anaïs Nin, from a diary entry featured in Mirages: The Unexpurgated Diary of Anaïs Nin, 1939-1947