Not Only Do Girls Just Want To Have Fun, I Think It's Not An Overstatement To Say That Girls Just Need

i’ve changed my mind actually being a girl is like i’m gonna kill someone else

being a girl is like I'm gonna kill myself

everything we make will be smart. we will make a smart fridge. we will make a smart tv. your dishwasher will be incredibly intelligent. it will collect your data. by this i mean monitor your every move. if you knew how much we could glean about you as a person based on internet activity alone you would throw your wifi router into the sea. everything we make is very smart. do you want a dumb tv? do you want a tv that's just a tv? do you want a tv that doesn't need wifi? die. i want to make turning your tv into a paid subscription a reality but we haven't boiled the pot long enough and i don't want to alert the frog. hey. remove that add-on on your browser. why are you blocking the ads? do you have any idea how much effort has gone into tracking your every move, your every thought verbalized by a web search, and tailoring it into an ad that you will hopefully click on? do you not care? you're being really rude. you're being abusive. turn off the ad-block. i'm going to kill you. ok fine i can't kill you. you can't watch youtube anymore. we have way more engineers. i can outsource labour all day every day and pit coders who need a livelihood - this is a nice verbal subterfuge that takes some of the bite away from survival, needing to pay rent, needing to eat - against a few people trying to escape the final culmination, that annoying ad that used to be five seconds, now will be ten seconds, i would make it last two hours if i could, trying to escape the killing blow of all my very hard work of collecting your data. you need the internet. you need email. society cant function without it. it's vital to our lives. it's a basic necessity like food. we have always had internet. we will always have internet. internet is your friend. internet is fun. why would you spend two hours at the park, or reading a good book, when you are so tired from work? wouldn't you rather unwind with some internet? wouldn't you rather endlessly scroll for two hours on the internet? you might see something interesting. don't you feel better afterwards? don't you want an algorithm to filter you into increasingly insular communities until you can't relate to others outside this curated world view? don't you want to see the world news? don't you want to fight? sorry - i mean, increase engagement? don't you want to scroll through all the world's horrors until the frenetic motionlessness exhausts you to the point you have the same empathetic fatigue as EMTs and disaster relief workers and have nothing left to give without even leaving your home? don't you want a smart tv?

the term "i love to boggy" will now be incapable of leaving my lexicon anytime soon

god id wish youd shut the fuck up

wish denied

Every time you post a picture of Tommy, my day gets at least 15% better. She's wonderful. Give her a Newport from me.

she is the animal ever. I’ll put money in her cigarette fund.

not me being as wise as a serpent and as harmless as a dove

they may be doomed by the narrative but atleast they had gay sex