The Bachelor - Episode 8 Recap

Henley Monday -

Welcome back to your job after a very long holiday weekend! It's gong to be a long, hard week, friends, but I know you can make it through.

If you need a little boost on this, the most heinous of days, regard this candid shot of Gerard Butler. I would say I'm somewhere on the bottom of this guy's fan club list, but it's undeniable that this ensemble is attractive and life giving when all I want is a nap. Maybe snuggled in that leather jacket I DON'T KNOW. I'm tired...but the heart wants what the heart wants.

[heart]BREAKING NEWS: The Bachelorette's Emily Maynard and Jef Holm SPLIT

Love is dead.

Well, their love is dead, at least. As followers of the blog remember, we all spent a significant amount of time together last summer following the trials and tribulations of one Emily Maynard in her quest to find lasting true love in a husband and father for her little girl Ricki.

At the finale, all our hearts swelled as she chose Jef Holm, the hip, formerly Mormon entrepreneur of a fresh water charity (link to it here. because fresh water is the only thing more important that true love) with hair high as the heavens and features like an Elvin Prince.

But now, after a few weeks of hushed rumors that the lovebirds were no longer flocking together, Team Jem has officially released statements confirming our worst fears.

I am a realistic person. I realize that the track record of success in the Bachelor franchise is a terrible, terrible track record. I also acknowledge that the ridiculous circumstances of the show don't exactly lend themselves to preparing couples for a real-world relationship after you've scaled mountains together and had private concerts from EFFING DOLLY PARTON.

But the reason we all watched and rooted for our girl Emily was because they got us to care. We cared about her. And I am so so sad that she has once again come up short. The only thing we can do now is hold our loved ones dear until January rolls around and we can have the same thrilling experience when Sean is our Bachelor.

Click here for the Entertainment Weekly story and official statements from both Emily and Jef.

RIP LOVE. And best of luck to Emily Maynard and her adorable moppet.

The Bachelor Drinking Game - Juan Pablo Edition

I wish I could’ve gotten this up sooner but unfortunately I was trapped at the Cook County Criminal Courthouse fulfilling my civic duty of jury duty and contemplating suicide. I’m still on my way home as I type BUT never fear. Here are the rules to your favorite drinking game - THE BACHELOR DRINKING GAME.

Juan Pablo says "ees ok"

Juan Pablo says something deeply stupid, beyond a translation issue

Clare talks about her Dead Dad

You can see Nikki's bird tattoo

Chris Harrison says "most dramatic finale ever"

Helicopter rides!

Juan Pablo is an inconsiderate, narcissistic ass

Voice over happens while Juan Pablo is shirtless on a balcony, or walking on a beach, hands in pockets

One of the women says "fairy tale I've always dreamed of"

Neil Lane the King of the Diamond Peddling Lizards appears!

Happy drinking! 

*I ALMOST FORGOT*

*Bonus* Full Shot - If Clare shows him the Dead Dad DVD

-If Juan Pablo ends up alone

And if Juan Pablo ends up alone AND sees the Dead Dad DVD? Well, then we have to drink until we can't feel the shame and sadness anymore.

Henley Monday -

Dylan O'brien is blowing up. With a starring role on MTV's Teen Wolf and the lead role Thomas in the upcoming film Maze Runner, he's set to become a household name and regular heartthrob. This still of him in a henley and mucked up workboots is from the aforementioned dystopian film.

They had me at dystopia and the costume designer reeled me in at henley.

The Bachelor - Sean Tells All Recap

Everyone gather round, grab a cup of tea or coffee and snuggle up for a riveting gab session with your two best friends Sean Lowe and Chris Harrison. Those two are thick as thieves! Kind of. Sean didn't really talk to Chris that much which could be why he's made some really questionable decisions. Tonight, perhaps, we'll get some answers.

The interview is timed between hometown dates and the infamous "fantasy suite" dates (jk it’s happening right now). How will Sean handle that little pickle with his squeaky clean Christian image? And why don't the makeup people ever darken his eyebrows?! Just a little shading to make him look like a person! It’s all I’m asking for here people.

First topic up for discussion is how he sent Desiree home last night. To understand this decision, we travel back to the hometown date where Chris asserts that “the brother really questioned everything that’s sacred to you.” That seems a little hyperbolic, but sure, let’s go with it.

Sean fills us in that apparently Nate, Dez’s brother, has had a bit of a trouble past and is trying to “straighten himself out” which explains the necklace tattoo and general horrible attitude and lack of tact/manners. While Nate was ranting that Sean was a playboy, Sean wanted to hit the guy for insulting the core of his character. That would have been horrible but also kinda great because they were sitting by that pool and it would’ve been a very cool choreographed fight scene. But violence is not the way to solve things, kids.

What we didn’t see though, was the FIRST conversation Sean and Nate had where everything went fine! Nate called him a “really nice dude” and gave his approval! So what did he get drunk or something and go nuts on Sean for fun? Like, what the eff happened during dinner? “Ultimately I just chalk it up to him being a jackass,” Sean concludes. Fair point, man. Fair point, if inelegant.

We watch the emotional good-bye between Sean and Desiree one more time just to make our hearts break. I really feel like she’s in perfect position to be the next Bachelorette, so there’s that hope in her future.

Next up we recap the relationship with Sarah, our beautiful and artsy friend born with one arm. It reminds me how great she is and how much I want to go see movies and hang out with her. Sean doesn’t really reveal anything we didn’t already know about how at the end, he just didn’t feel the spark with her. He shares how much he wishes the best for Sarah and that she will find the love of her life. Those are some hollow words, bro, no matter how well intentioned.

Selma the Iraqi who wasn’t allowed to kiss on TV but was super affectionate and cuddly is up next. We see all the ways they tried to get around kissing like butterfly kisses and Eskimo kisses and I hate it. Remember how she did finally kiss him and then he sent her home? Ugh. Painful.

Moving forward into the pain territory, we have to watch Lesley and Sean complete the world record for longest onscreen kiss one more time. We recap THEIR whole relationship next, and I’m getting cranky. I was promised a gossip session about Tierra, and I want that delivered. Oh, and just in case Lesley isn’t kicking herself enough for not telling Sean she loved him, he says that if she had done that, he probably would’ve gone home to meet her family. So there’s that.

TIERRA TIME! WOOOOT! After bringing us up to speed as if we haven’t been watching this whole season, Sean ultimately says he feels “like a fool” and that he was “duped.” Thank you for admitting that. “In hindsight, I wish I would’ve kept Jackie on the two-on-one!” YES. Oh keep going, give us more dish. And also, I’m just really glad that he let her go and that he can openly admit that she was not a great person. We don’t normally get this resolve.

The fight in Montana lasted for hours and moved rooms several times. Sean was also feeling like a cranky baby because being the Bachelor is not easy and it is hard to be paid to travel the world and fall in love with several beautiful women wa wa wa wa.

Now that the gossip circle is broken up there’s nothing really worthwhile to talk about. We see some more deleted scenes of fun antics and none of them are really that fun. Then Chris asks about what’s really going to go no inside the fantasy suites.

Sean says that he just sees it as an opportunity to really talk to the women with no cameras, no audience, just the two of them. Chris once again brings up that maybe in the past the fantasy suites have involved, oh I don’t know, some specific kind of act that for some reason people think only happens at night? “I say it’s really none of your business,” Sean beams to Chris.

“A gentleman to the end,” Chris concludes. I guess we could say that. Sure. I’ll give it to Sean for being a gentleman.

That wraps up our night! We'll see each other next Wednesday for the splendor and drama of Thailand and the overnight dates. Until then, please don't let anyone take your sparkle away, pumpkins.

A Petition for the Super Bowl to be a National Holiday

            When, in the human course of events, it becomes necessary for one people to declare a National Holiday that connects them to one another, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should explain causes which impel them to take a full day off work.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal, but in terms of physical prowess in a sport that serves our base need for tactile, inter-personal confrontation, certain men are to be lauded with confetti and spectacle.

We, the people of the United States of America, have been endowed by our Capitalist Creators with certain unalienable rights that among these are high definition television, multimillion dollar buzz-worthy commercial spots, and the pursuit of our favorite NFL teams to claim the Super Bowl Championship. And to secure these rights, leagues are established among men, deriving their powers from a kind of arbitrary committee of guys assembled by their collective net worth (I think).

That whenever any form of workplace HR department or office manager becomes destructive to the general well-being of their employees, it is the right of the people to petition to their local congressman/woman, for the Monday following Super Bowl Sunday to be declared a day of Rest and Recovery. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that office relationships long established should not expect Trevor in sales to be anything but a gassy, bloated, hung-over shell of a human being on said morning after. All experience has shown that Mariah in accounting will be a hot, unshowered mess and that her breath is an evil which is insufferable.

Such has been the patient sufferance of the American People; and such is now the necessity which constrains us to alter our former systems of Paid Holidays in a Calendar Year. To prove this, let facts be submitted to a candid world:

-On the Lord’s Day, once a year, this great nation of ours gathers in living rooms to celebrate the game of football and advertising excellence.

-We consume cheese in every form possible: shredded, hard, semi-soft, molten, spreadable, shaped into balls, or carved into cubes!

- By the bucketful we consume the wings of chickens breaded, deep-fried and bathed in fiery sauce of an unnaturally red color.

-Crockpots across the land bubble with meatballs, chilies, and cocktail weenies consumed by the dozens

-Beer from Milwaukee, beer from St. Louis, beer from independent micro-craft breweries is swilled with gusto at each yard gained, each down made.

We, therefore, the common people of the United States of America, in no particular congress, assembled solely by the internet, appealing to the Supreme Judges of our Nation for the rectitude of our intention, do, in the name, and by authority of the good sports fans of the land, solemnly publish and declare that this country is, and of right ought to be celebrating the Super Bowl as a National Holiday observed on the following Monday; that we are absolved from all duty to attend a full day’s work; and that all political opinions, religious beliefs, and regular season allegiances be put aside for 36 hours, that we, as one, may celebrate the God given gift that is the Super Bowl.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of our First Amendment Rights, we mutually pledge to each other our friendships, our baked chip dips, our living rooms with big screen TVs, and our Sacred Honor.

Amen.

Henley Monday:

Find yourself matching Chris Evans' wistful expression as you peer out a window from your grey and lonely cubicle?

Direct your eyes towards his finely styled self and imagine him looking that wistfully in your direction and the troubles of Monday will fall away like leaves on an autumnally burning maple.

Keep it up with the pec framing fashion choices, Evans!

Well the reason I watched The Bachelorette last year was because they were advertising our first season of The Bachelor everywhere (I'm Australian) and I remembered seeing parts of Trista Rehn's season years ago. I really enjoyed the Australian Bachelor & I would recommend it but apart from that I haven't seen any other version. There is a second Australian season later this year but no Aussie Bachelorette yet :( I'm tempted to watch the Canadian Bachelor though!

Everyone, let's all get down on our knees and thank MyLatestDream for brining international versions of The Bachelor Franchise to our attentions.

That is so amazing. I think now that we have some downtime before Andi's season starts (yay Andi!), I'll try out Aussie and Canadian bachelor. I'm typically a bigger fan of the Bachelorette, so I hope Australia gets one soon! Thanks for the vital info, you're the best gal!

This research is going to be so fun too, for instance IS THERE IRISH BACHELOR?

The Most Important and Least Informed World Cup Piece You'll Read

Hi boys and girls. With the FIFA World Cup in full swing, I thought it would be nice and topical to do a special Henley Monday featuring several of the most attractive players But it turns out that it is nearly impossible to find a single picture, whether professional or paparazzi, of a footballer in our favorite body hugging garment. I did, however, find several pics that made my heart rate increase to a staggering level, and because I am benevolent, I share those with you now. Presenting...

The Hottest World Cup Players in Various States of [Un]Dress:  

This is Lionel Messi of Argentina wearing the shit out of a Dolce & Gabbana tuxedo. When I briefly lived in Buenos Aires, I learned two things about soccer: Maradona is God and Messi is Jesus. He's also tiny and super hot.

Robin Van Persie of The Netherlands can't believe how hot his salt and pepper hair is either! He's so svelt and beautiful and expressive on the field, I would do a flying header right into his bed.

Graham Zusi of the US just gets it. He gets that you've had a long day and just need to curl up into his arms and watch some Netflix. Plus, you can totally trade some hair styling tips! You know he's got a regimen.

So, Alexi Lalas here isn't a player anymore but he was on the US men's team in the 90s and now he's doing commentary on ESPN and he is SO HOT. He used to look like a grizzled lion (still hot) and now he looks like the Lion in Winter. His red hair and red beard scruff are almost too sexy to bear. But bear it I will.

Olivier Giroud of France is unreasonably good-looking whether he's on the field, wearing a cardigan, or you know, just the tiniest pair of swim trunks imaginable. He's...magnifique, to say the least.

Lastly, we have Xabi Alonso of Spain and COME ON. WHO LOOKS LIKE THAT? XABI,YOUR PIERCING GAZE IS ENOUGH TO MAKE MY EYES BUG OUT OF MY HEAD AND PANT LIKE A CARTOON WOLF. It was so hard to pick just one picture of Xabi because his perfection knows no bounds. Que dios te bendiga, Xabi, more than he already has that is.

The Bachelor - Episode 4 Recap

  Here we are at week four already. Already we’re hearing proclamations that Sean is the man a woman can envision spending the rest of her life with. Hoo buoy. Yup. I mean buoy. I need something to hold onto in the turbid seas of the Bachelor. If Tierra was just a tad crazy last week, it looks like she’s diving into straight up psycho. And we’re all going with her. Shall we dive? We shall.

Remember when Ben was the Bachelor and his hair was terrible? And he had little pepperoni nipples? And he was nothing to see shirtless? Sean is everything the opposite of Ben. The first shot we get of Sean in this episode is him rubbing sleep from his eyes wearing nothing but his black Calvin Klein boxer briefs. I am surprised at how ok with this I am. I am SUPER ok with this shot.

Leslie H. is constantly crying. She is crying as she anticipates the date cards and says, “I know a date will come. It’s just a matter of being patient” and weeping constantly. Keep that up. She gives a pretty good “meh” face as the first one-on-one goes to Selma. I, on the other hand, am thrilled. I love Selma! Go Selma! Cool it on immediately stating that you want to have his babies, though. Don’t go Tierra-level psycho, Selms.

Well, she’s losing me quickly. First, Sean mentions that she told him all about her struggles with people judging her because she’s so beautiful. Then in the limo she asks if he can handle “all 110 pounds of this!” in reference to them possibly dancing and her breaking his toes. Like, what woman discloses her exact weight on her first date with some guy? Why? Just in case he doesn’t think she’s tiny?

“We pull up to the airport, and I’m trying to put two and two together here!” she laughs. Well, Selma. I’m not judging you for being stupid based on your looks, but I must say that when one pulls up to an airport that is full of planes and you get out onto a tarmac where an empty plane is waiting, the math is not that hard.

They contort into the most awkward cuddling position ever as they fly to a mystery location. All the while Selma waxes poetic about how glamorous and luxurious and dream-like and princessy she feels. But the destination is a bleak desert. Selma is concerned. “He took the Iraqi to a desert,” she deadpans. She is funnier when she’s not trying.

Sean finally reveals that they will be rock climbing at Joshua Tree National Park. Selma, who keeps repeating that she “does not do well in heat”, is apprehensive. And you know what? Fair. I, personally, would love to rock climb at Joshua Tree, but that is not for everyone. If it’s actually important to Sean that she do this, then fine. But also being married isn’t about liking/being good at the same extreme sports. If it is then I am totally screwed in my plans to marry an Olympic snowboarder.

“Selma is pint sized. So she might have some issues getting up this rock today. But if she does, I can just strap her to my back and just pull us both up there,” Sean tells the camera. I want to hate this. I want to hate everything he just said, but I love it. Rude of him. Making me like him. He encourages her the entire way up, and she is real woman, real talk hauling her own ass up that rock face. They make it up as the sun is setting, and I’m pretty impressed with Selma for going HAM on that rock and Sean for being so supportive.

For the dinner portion, Sean keeps hammering home that he’s not bringing glamorous Selma somewhere glamorous. Expecting the worst, they actually come upon a little campsite with little decked out trailers in a circle. It may not be glamorous, but it’s pretty adorable and nice.

They talk about Sean’s past relationship (yes, singular), and then move right along to, you guessed it! FAMILY! Selma’s Family story is this: they are strict and Arabic and conservative. Selma is concerned her mother would have a heart attack if she saw her kiss someone on TV because they’re so conservative. Now Sean has already expressed how much he wants to kiss her, but she can’t. This is a real pickle they’re in.

He asks permission to kiss her which is ADORABLE. But she explains her whole situation and he is understanding. But oh man. That has got to SUCK for both of them. Sean makes a pretty hilarious groan to the cameras in his exasperation of not being able to kiss that lady. He gives her the rose, of course, and kisses her on the head. And then they play a GREAT Ben Taylor song for a montage.

On today’s group date we have Lindsay, Robyn, Jackie, Katherine (the girls all yay after her name because we all know how fun she is), Amanda, AshLee, Sarah, and Tierra. Tierra is PISSED about being on another group date.

No one knows what they’re doing but they sure are excited! Catherine’s excited! Amanda’s excited! Sarah’s excited! Lindsay thinks they’re going to get into those giant hamster balls and roll down a hill!

But shockingly, Lindsay is wrong. Sean practically pees his pants in excitement that they’re going to be doing roller derby. Sean is giggling. “You’re all such sweet girls, so it’ll be interesting to see you get a little aggressive.” Yeah, Sean, “interesting”. We’ll use that word to describe this blood bath. This is as bad an idea as when they went boxing on Ashlee’s season (poor Ames).

Tierra has been unleashed. Tierra is wearing green. Tierra is Hulk. Tierra “excite to knock some biatches down.” Tierra FULL PENT UP RAGE.

Amanda does a fun little thing. Amanda lies and says she’s done roller derby before to mess with the girls’ heads. How fun. She likes how psyched out they’re all getting.

Sarah, the girl with one arm that isn’t an issue, has an issue only having one arm. I feel terrible for her. She does not have the same balance as the other girls. You use your arms a lot in roller derby, so she’s just feeling embarrassed. I’m sad for her. AshLee tries to boost her confidence. AshLee, not Sean, her date.

Ok, now Sean does come over to encourage her. He’s very sweet and based on last week’s weird dog gesture, he likes her a lot. She ends up deciding to get back out there and really give it her all, despite how scary it is.

Amanda, remember how she lied? Is feeling really confident. She and Tierra Hulk are butt bumping they’re so confident. But at the height of her bragging, she bites it. Hard. On her face. They call an ambulance for her because they’re worried she broke her jaw. She looks not great, and they send her to the hospital to get it checked out.

Later (minutes? Hours?) Sean gives a strange almost coach-like prep talk to the two teams of girls all geared up for their roller derby. They all look terrified and rightly-fricking-so. Just in the nick of time, their white knight calls off the derby and decides to just have a “free skate” instead! Weeee! I bet Amanda is happy she put so much effort into lying and psyching out the other team now!

For cocktails, they arrive back at the Roosevelt. What weird ad deal did the Roosevelt pull off to be the exclusive date location for this season of the Bachelor? At the rooftop pool, all the drama gets kicked off. Sarah is adorable. Tierra SULKS. And Amanda comes back! She pretty much has a guaranteed rose at this point for going to the hospital then coming back with enough time to get cute. Amanda knows this and isn’t afraid to play dirty to get what she wants. Which is just a rose? And not Sean? Hmmm.

Back at the mansion, the date card comes. Leslie H.’s name is finally up! He sends her diamond earrings and she says, “Holy moly, Batman!” which, no. That’s not how that phrase works.

Tierra feel left out! Tierra no stoop to other girl level! Tierra no get angry like other girl want her to! Tierra get MOST ANGRY! JOKE ON THEM! Tierra ask if she can leave!

Sarah is not fighting for her to stay exactly, but she tries to level with her. She tries to have her talk to very level headed AshLee.

No! Tierra no trust NO ONE! TIERRA WANT GO HOME! Sean and Lindsay are making out in some side room, and Tierra goes stomping off to find him.

The girls are trying to puzzle out WTF is wrong with her. Lindsay suggests she and Sean get into the hot tub. Tierra ugly cry to camera! Tierra feel torture! Tierra break down inside! All hell is BREAKING LOOSE!

Tierra finally intercepts a very taken aback Sean, leaving Lindsay to fend for herself in her swimsuit. She comes tromping up the stairs like a true champ though, doing a truly hysterical face and pose as she comes up empty handed.

In talking with the producers, and now with Sean, Tierra has used the word “torture” about a million times. Now, as someone who just hyperbolized, I understand how easy it is to do. However, the victims of actual torture may have some interesting light to shed on what “literal torture” is for dear Tierra.

So, apparently this is the episode where Sean completely wins me over and makes me wish I was dating him. I mean, not really, but kind of. It’s TIERRA we’re talking about here and he is still adorable and really great at talking her down and she is PSYCHO. I was, however, screaming NO at my screen as he was comforting her and convincing her to stay.

AND THEN HE GIVES HER THE MOTHER LICKING ROSE. NO NO NO. SEAN. SO ANGRY. ALL CAPS. NOW I’M HULK. CASSIE HULK. CASSIE HULK MAD TIERRA HULK GOT HER WAY. CASSIE HULK ANGRY TIERRA HULK DO WHATEVER TIERRA HULK WANT AND TIERRA HULK STILL WIN HEART OF PRETTY SEAN MAN.

WHY HE LIKE HER SO MUCH? WHY HE LIKE THAT? SHE BAD LADY. CASSIE HULK FULL PENT UP RAGE.

Hey y’all. I ate some chocolate covered acai-blueberries and now I’ve calmed back down, just in time for Leslie H.’s date. She is a very pretty girl, but I just don’t really care about her. She cries too much, so I’m kind of hoping Sean doesn’t give her the rose.

“Oh my god! I slept with these earrings underneath my pEHllow!” Ok Leslie. Take it down a notch. You and I have to get through this date alive. Then she says “holy moly, batman” again and I’m not so sure I will get through this alive.

So, they are actually having a “Pretty Woman” date which does not sound great because that makes the pretty woman in question a prostitute. Sean thinks this is the utmost in romance and class. Really, Texas? I’m sure this is a dream scenario for you, too. Taking a woman shopping for whatever she wants in Badgley Mischka.

After an excruciatingly unexciting shopping montage, we settle on an army green shiny silk taffeta strapless number. Everything about what I just described is the opposite of current fashion. But here we are.

Sean gets cleaned up and into a tux and she declares him “sah cyute” as she descends the staircase. We pop over to NEIL LANE – OFFICIAL JEWELER TO THE BACHELOR AND BACHELORETTE to meet Mr. Lane and pick out some ice for the lady’s neck.

This date has been manufactured to have the most romance possible, and Sean is hoping that something might click with Leslie now that they’re here in the perfect setting. I’m not so sure.

She is very smiley and giggly the whole time, which might just be her nerves, but it makes her seem really insincere. She doesn’t seem ready/willing to get right into it with Sean despite WEEPING over him for the last two weeks.

Sean’s not feeling it. He knows that she is a “phenomenal girl” but isn’t catching the spark. So he picks up the rose, and lets her down gently. He tells her all that he told us about not feeling the romance click. She is kinda pissed and a little cold to him. “You really didn’t see any romance at all?” she asks. But then as they’re saying good-bye she lets out one final warning to beware of some of the girls. Interesting, but I know the Bachelors too well to think they’ll give a second thought to that.

Um. Then. Sean gives a voice over that he is clearly reading because you can tell when non-actors read stuff. They played that Ben Taylor song earlier in the episode because Ben Taylor was supposed to play a private concert for them, but then obviously Sean isn’t going to dance alone to Ben “Son of James” Taylor. So they play Ben doing a gorgeous cover of “By Your Side” by Sade as Sean drops a rose dramatically because his life is hard, guys.

Time for the Rose Ceremony, bitches! The so-called bitches in question are all dolled up and feeling quick nervous as fewer and fewer girls are present for the ceremony. No one is safe. No one except Selma and Tierra, but other than that, no one!

Robyn decides to make a lasting impression on Sean, and decides that she should use pick up lines. Again, what fun! These women! Such pranksters! She asks him over and over if he likes chocolate and would like a taste of chocolate and he gives an emphatic YES. And she goes, “which chocolate do you want to taste” with such a giggle. And they decide to just kiss it out instead. Sean really likes kissing. We see his tongue too much for him to be very good (ahem, can we get Arie back up in this piece?) but he sure does like it.

Tierra is back on a rampage to get justice for her “good” name. So she pulls Robyn and Jackie the Cosmetics Consultant who has said about ten words this entire time, aside to level with them. She apologizes for being mean while also totally blaming them for being rude to her too. It’s awkward, and no one feels better at the other end. For getting hung-up on little things so much, it’s odd how frequently Tierra points out that she’s too mature to get hung-up on little things.

Catherine pops into frame just long enough to sing-song say, “Tierra-ble!!!” I haven’t seen her and Sean interact, but I really don’t want him to send Catherine our comedic relief home. And just as I ask, I receive. She and Sean sit down and have a nice chat that makes me like her even more despite the fact that she gives him a “kiss” or “imprint of her lips on paper” to keep. They are great, and I’m super behind the two of them.

Ultimately, we have nine roses, and ten girls. So that means one lonely lady will be saying good-bye this week. I cannot believe it’s just one. So rather than drag you through the ceremony like they make us, I’ll cut to the chase. It’s Amanda going home after a close call with Daniella! I am shocked. I really thought it’d be the other way around. Amanda looks like she might kill someone. I can’t say I’m sad to see her go.

Next week we are finally starting the traveling portion! Hooray! And they are bringing us episodes on both Monday AND Tuesday and promise to be FULL of romance and drama. I can’t wait. See y’all then, journeyers!