Happy Birthday, Jim Henson. You Are Missed.

Henley Monday - New Years Eve 2012 Special

Hey ladies, hey gentleman, it's Ryan Gosling our Patron Saint of Henleys all lit up to bring you happy holiday tidings and wishes for a happy new year ahead of you. Because it's the end of the year, and you've worked so hard to come so far, he thought he'd extend to you a gift. A special mega edition of Henley Monday featuring not just one picture, but SEVEN pictures of SEVEN DIFFERENT MEN in henleys.

HAPPY NEW YEAR LOVE THE MEN OF THE AVENGERS ALL WEARING HENLEYS!!!

Jeremy Renner shooting Cupid's arrow straight through your heart for much love in your year.

The Honorable RDJ smiles down wishes for a prosperous 2013 full of fortune, fame, and delicious shwarma.

Chris Evans stews over the ways he wants to bring peace and goodwill to all here in America and all over the globe.

Giant Chris Hemsworth is tenderly cradling his teensy-tinesy baby girl just as he tenderly cradles your hopes and dreams.

Mark Ruffalo wants you to stand up for something, whether it be for yourself or for the rights of others. Don't get angry, get active!

And finally, Tom Hiddleston, with the help of our dear friend Benedict Cumberbatch, want to remind you to be safe, be great, and be productive in the coming year.

Love to all you out there, and Happy New Year!!!

Henley Monday -

As much as Beyonce truly (really, truly) inspires me, I still need a little pick-me-up by way of a well dressed man. Enter Aaron Tveit in yet another beautiful plain black henley. I mean can his hair stop for like three seconds? Can it? I need it to take a break from being so perfect.

The Bachelorette - Episode 5 Recap

     Tallyho! Pip, pip old mates, The Bachelorette and her man-harem have arrived in jolly London Town, they ‘ave, they ‘ave! Let us take our swim across the pond and see the drama and romance in store for us this week… and find out to whom Emily says GTFO!

The Maynard senior and junior are abso-tute-ly precious traveling about town and doing amazing tourist things that I so badly want to do. The gentlemen gather in Trafalgar Square to get the low-down for the week from Chris Harrison or “Chrarrison” as I like to say.

               The first date card is waiting in the suite and it’s going to Sean – 28! “Love takes no prisoners” so I’m guessing Tower of London, but he’s clueless. Jef is jealous! He really wants alone time, and I think the same thing about him and his pumped up kicks. Whither, King Jef of the Elves? Kalon is pissy that things aren’t going exactly as planned and that he has no control. Foreshadow?

Emily and Sean-28 are going on a double-decker bus tour, so Sean makes a London calling joke while “London Calling”-ish plays and immediately stands up on the bus to say “HELLO, LONDOOON!” Thanks for that, Sean-28. The two of them apprehensively announce to each other the sights they’re seeing because apparently the show couldn’t swing a real tour guide for the date? Come on, ABC. Also, you can tell Emily has a cold, but she’s all smiles and charm. These two are precious Aryan Angels.

            Back to the hotel suite and the dramatic violins, Kalon is being a terd once again. To Jef and Arie he says, “You gotta remember that if you become a part of her life, pretty much any day is gonna be a group date. It’s gonna be you, her, and Ricki.” Jef is PISSED and comes to Emily’s defense and calls Kalon a dick, and I rewound that part a couple times to hear him be a gallant goblin prince.

Emily and Sean come upon Speaker’s Corner in Hyde Park. Roped in by the crazies, Sean starts professing about love and it’s so weird. He once again finds a way to talk about his family. He is really hot though, so he gets a pass for now.

For the “meal” the two arrive at the Tower of London! I knew it! Emily’s almost completely lost her voice. Their tour guide is a charming beefeater, but for real, the Tower of London is kind of creepy. I don’t think it’s an ideal date place. King Henry’s home is no temple to love, yo.

The group date card comes to the hotel suite and reads, “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” And there is a collective, “Buh….what?!” from the moronic imbeciles apparently vying for Lady Emily’s affections. Someone, Alejandro I think, pipes in with, “I think that was Shakespeare.” YA, DOI! Chris, Arie, Ryan, Doug, Alejandro, Travis, John, and Kalon are on the group date. Kalon is royally ticked to be grouped in.

Back in the Tower of London, Emily puts Sean-28 through the “are you ready to be a father” gauntlet right away. He passes with flying colors because from betwixt their medieval goblets, Emily plucks the rose and pins it to Sean’s ready lapel. Within view of the Tower Bridge, they make out a little which I have to advise against based on how sick she sounds.

So the MISCREANTS who don’t know that MEGA-FAMOUS Shakespeare quote get to go to Stratford-upon-Avon for the group date. We finally acknowledge that Emily is ill and reveal the date will consist of them acting out scenes from “Romeo and Juliet” here in Shakespeare’s birthplace while he does barrel rolls in his grave. I take a large swig of wine at this point. Buckle up, kids.

The guys have to audition for the three representatives of the Shakespeare Birth Place Trust. They are freaking out. We’re mercifully shown the auditions in a montage; they are the worst. Kalon is taking it extremely seriously and is “not surprised” when they announce him as one of the Romeo’s. “I was born to play this role,” he smirks. I swig more wine. Arie and Doog are playing the nurse. YAY!!! THIS WILL BE SO FUNNY FOR US!

              Rehearsal is just watching dumb men rehearse Shakespeare, and many of them literally have no idea what they are saying. Kalon is feeling so competitive, and he says, “You can run along,” to Emily so they can rehearse. “Kalon needs to realize he is not on Broadway. Kalon needs to lighten up.” Amen! This lady can PREACH!

I want a gif of Arie prancing in his tights. Someone! Get me that gif!

Doogie as the nurse is kind of hilarious, and I appreciate his willingness to make bold choices. I also appreciate how willing Arie is to be a total doof, even though he was piss-pants nervous. He can do no wrong for Emily; she’s totally enamored of him.

              Ryan is so excited to kiss a dead Juliet-Emily, and is being real creepy. He also keeps talking about Arie when he talks about kissing Emily. And Arie, in his wig and bustier, smugly knows that, “Dude, it’s a play. You’re not actually kissing her.” Emily shakes her head and is grossed out.

“That stage kiss? That was the best part of my acting because I made it seem real…because it kinda was.” Oh my gosh, Ryan. OH MY GOSH.

               Arie and Emily steal away at the pub to have their beautiful alone time. They like each other so much! But again, I have to advise against the kissing because Emily might have strep throat!

You guys, I just figured out who Ryan reminds me of. He reminds me of Jason Stackhouse from True Blood except he doesn’t have the redeeming charm and loving heart that Jason does. Like Jason would totally say, “In my experience, when a girl tells you you’re trouble, and she smiles when she says it, maybe she wants to get in trouble.” He pulls out a pretty necklace with a turquoise pendant for her. She and I are genuinely surprised that it’s so simple, sweet, and thoughtful. But it could just be his game.

Kalon is still in a prissy huff. “Yeah, I’ll get a chance to talk to an exhausted, sick mother who has a child waiting on her,” he snaps at Chris. Seriously dude, if that’s how you feel, why are you here? What are you wasting your extraordinarily precious time for?

It looks like Chris is the one who lets the “baggage” cat out of the bag to all the men. They, and I, are steaming mad. It isn’t until Dooglas hears about it that things take a turn for the worse. He is rolling up his sleeves as he makes Kalon fess up to calling Ricki baggage. Which he does. Readily. And he’s “not gonna apologize for it.” Oh, s**t, y’all. This is worse than I thought.

           Doogie immediately tells Emily about it, and I champion his decision. We can see the fury light up within Emily as she tries to think of “the most ladylike, the most graceful way” to kick Kalon’s sorry ass out of the United Kingdom and her life forever. “I want to go out there and rip his limbs off and beat him with them,” she says, “I want to go West Virginia, hood rat, backwoods on his ass.” GO EMILY! DO IT! I’m really sad this situation presented itself, but this is the most lively we’ve seen our girl yet.         

She rips off her jacket as they go out into the crowd, and Doug puts Kalon on the spot. She doesn’t allow Kalon to interrupt her and then goes, “I love it when you talk, but not until I’m done. I got that line from you.” WOW. THAT IS AWESOME. SUCKER, PLEASE! She slams down on the table the fact that his own mom was a single mother, and he can’t even string together three words that aren’t coated in horse s**t.  So she tells him to GTFO and shuts down the conversation. WaBAM!

                       But I feel so bad for her because she needed to just walk away. I can’t imagine dealing with that kind of righteous anger. She doesn’t hand out the rose and goes home to be with Ricki.

She’s really angry that no one said anything to her about it, but someone did. Doug did. Doug came and told her as soon as he found out. Maybe she’s more upset that the people who heard it firsthand didn’t say anything sooner, but I’m not sure. I think she’s still fuming and maybe just needs to cool off a lot. Here’s to hoping her date with Jef is a romantic swoon-fest to lift us all out of this luxury-brand consultant scented funk.

                 Jef wants to assure Emily that he will be there for her and is so excited to spend time with her. Rude, Jef. Don’t forget about me. They’re having afternoon tea which he is dressed for because his suit coat has elbow patches on it. Oh, except…not tea time, just an etiquette lesson with an old British lady. Jef gets bummed out that Jean the etiquette teacher is hijacking his one-on-one time! Jean is really hijacking this date too and taking it all seriously. To Jef’s point she is “really, really, really thorough.” He wants Jean to get out of his high-king hair.

               They run out on tea, and Jef hijacks the date to the pub where he orders them fish and chips and beers. He wants to tell Emily that he stood up for her, and “always will stand up for her”. He is so charming, really just a great guy. I WANT ONE. WHERE IS MY SEXY ELVIN KING?! OH MY GOD. HE JUST SAID “If Ricki’s baggage, she is a Chloé handbag that I want to have forever,” AND THEN MY HEART EXPLODED INTO SPARKLY CONFETTI.

Jef really does seem to feel strongly for Emily, but she is wary that she can’t read him and doesn’t know how he feels. She is gunning for that kiss on their date tonight. Gunning for it.

They change into sexy cocktail attire and have a special dessert date for two on the London Eye. That’s some real romatical ish, y’all. Jef is excited to take their relationship to the next level which is something a seventeen year-old says, but he’s so sexual that it’s ok.  He assures Emily that he will never lie to her. And now it’s raining on their London Eye-ball.

          Side note: they are creeping higher in the sky and their desserts (it appears to be a kind of trifle) remain utterly untouched. They didn’t touch a single bite of their trifle!

Okay Jef wants to have dancing and singing parties with Ricki and Emily, again, I die. She gives him the rose for always making her feel like a special lady. In the words of Bill Murray’s titular Bob in “What About Bob?” Gimme, gimme, gimme! I need! I NEED!

The build up to their kiss is so awkward. Very high school. He prefaces it. But then they kiss, and she is rull into it. Rull, rull into kissing that Elf King. Seriously, he is one of the good ones.

            The tension is high as we go into the cocktail party. Emily is in a sleek one sleeved deep blue dress, and she is hitting hard with the questions. She’s basically just grilling the guys as to why they didn’t stand up for her. Even perfect Arie was put under fire, and he’s a little nervous.

                   Ryan is the living worst wearing a scarf with his suit and brings her out to a stairwell balcony. He has a plan. He always has a plan. He is reading the Romeo monologue to her. I want to punch him.  He translates it for her because she’s not a human who understands words. She likes him! She actually likes him! I mean she says she’s mad at herself about it and she’s keeping an eye on him. But oh my word, he is slime.

She has a great chat with Sean, and they kind of slow dance together. It’s sweet, and they’re cheesy but in a non-disgusting way.

                 Chrarrison arrives and the bells toll to signify the end of the road for a sad one of the bachelors. She calls Doog first for obvious reasons. Oh my gosh, we’re getting down to the wire, and Arie’s name still hasn’t been called. It’s down to Alejandro and Arie! This can’t be!

In the end, I am heaving an enormous sigh of relief that Arie is sticking around, while Alejandro is out of the pack. He seems like a sweet man, but a little young for Emily. I’m sure he’ll have no problem finding a wonderful woman to share his life with. Back to the mushroom farm, for now though, Ale-ale-jandro.

              This whirlwind of an episode draws to a close. We had high romance and high drama. And next week they are off to Dubrovnik, Croatia which I bet only half the men can find on a map. There is kissing shot upon kissing shot and then Arie is kissing her against an ancient wall and I get the vapors. But there is trouble on the Adriatic with one gentleman who is “in it to win it, and Emily is the trophy.” Gee, I wonder who in the world is so competitive and would say a think like that. *Cough* Ryan *Cough* Arie makes a confession, and Emily storms out of the rose ceremony!  Only time will reveal all, dear readers, so until next time, keep on the journey.

Henley Monday -

Summer time has finally come and come to stay! The sun is shining and birds are chirping and trees are budding and the lilacs smell INCREDIBLE.

So here's Alexander Skarsgard on that lovely summer staple, the beach! He looks very rugged like a field photographer for National Geographics of yore. Thumbs up.

The return of summer also means another TV staple will return to our lives. True Blood starring the Skarsgard here will be back on June 16th with all it's insane and completely bazoo plotlines. Until then enjoy this trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGgt_jllHcA&feature=player_embedded

Looking forward to your Bachelorette recap, that Drinking Game was fabulous and I'm so excited about Juan Pablo! Just wanted to thank you for being a highlight of this years Bachelorette :) Also promise you'll be covering the Bachelor from January, pretty please???

This is the best. How impossibly sweet of you. I want to hug you.

I would not miss covering Juan Pablo's season of the Bachelor for anything in the whole wide mundo. I feel like being a Spanish major has led me straight to this moment, this special, special time we are all about to share with Juan Pablo. God really did bless this broken road that led me straight to a fluency in Spanish and a Venezuelan Bachelor.PS - Have you checked out Juan Pablo's Twitter? It is bizarre and delightful and hilarious and chuck full of sexy pics. Also apparently he and Zak W. are real life BFFs. The Bachelor - it brings people together.

Henley Monday - "Hold Onto Your Butts" Edition

Guys. GUYS. Guys. The time is finally upon us. The time now that a whole new journey begins towards true love that can last anywhere from 6 whole months to a lifetime (cheers Ashley & JP). Yup. You guessed it. Hold onto your butts because THE BACHELOR BEGINS TONIGHT ON ABC AT 8/7CT!!!

And would you look at the fine wardrobe choice made for our Bachelor Sean Lowe in these promotional shots? That black henley looks good Sean. Let us hope that your good fashion choices lead you to good choices on the show that won't leave us screaming at our TVs.

The start of the Bachelor also marks the return of my Bachelor recaps which go up on Wednesday. xoxo

The Bachelor - Episode 3 Recap

When we last left our hero, Sean had narrowed down the gaggle of women vying for his true and everlasting love down to 16 from 19. The previews for this week show Tierra taking a dramatic fall down the stairs, so we have that to look forward to. They want us to believe it might be due to foul play, perhaps even on the part of Kacie B., and I can’t wait to see it.

Knowing exactly what we’ve all come here for, ABC dutifully starts the show with a montage of Sean doing various exercises and sweating it out on the treadmill. Sean sweats a lot, so I think he really works out that hard, that often. Good for him. I hope he puts forth that much effort into things like reading and keeping abreast of current events.

Kicking off is the first one-on-one date with Leslie M. Leslie H. the poker dealer is really disappointed that it’s the other Leslie who gets to spend quality time with Sean. As Leslie is getting ready and telling us how excited she is, I can’t help but notice once more how much she reminds me of just “that girl” from college. She is pretty, she is perky, she is actually really smart and studious, but also a bit of a wild card. Like, don’t we all know a Leslie?

“It could take our relationship to the next level, which would be a great thing,” she beams to camera. Yes, Leslie, taking your relationship from having done one photo-shoot together to an actual relationship would be a thing.

In the limo, Sean and Leslie discuss what the date card could possibly mean. It said “How long will this love last?” and that’s a little presumptuous to use the word “love” date card.

Then they pull up to the most horrifying museum on one of the most awful streets of America, the Guinness World of Records Museum on Hollywood Boulevard!!! It would be nearly impossible for me not to make a sour face upon arriving at what I presume is a very smelly (You know how some poorly kept museums smell weird?) and stupid museum.

Leslie proves she’s in politics by diplomatically saying, “Ok. This could be fun. But, like, if I could’ve picked any place, I really didn’t think we’d be coming to the Guinness World Records.”

They wander about and comment on the plastic mannequins of various world records. I can only imagine how bad that museum smells. It looks very small and very creepy, but the two manage to smile and laugh.

“It’s been fun because she is fun to interact with” is a real sentence that came out of Sean’s mouth to describe this terrible date. I am going on public record that I will volunteer my time to tutor him in use of the English language and maybe read a few books. Nothing sexy, just book-learning. Get in touch, Sean.

Well, now, hang on a sec! What’s this! Sean wants to show Leslie the reason he brought her to this toilet bowl! Set up in the middle of the museum is a poster board that production put together at Kinko’s and mounted on a tripod. He tells us the story, “Something that you need to know, is that my dad? He likes to do things a little outside the norm.” Oh boy. “He set the record for driving through the 48 contiguous states in the shortest amount of time.” So, pretty much the most boring world record you can think of. Longest amount of time sitting on a couch would be more exciting than that. But Leslie is astonished and thrilled!

And now the real fun begins because Sean takes her out to the front of the museum to a cheering crowd and Chris Harrison who tells them that they will be attempting to set the world record for longest on-screen kiss! WOOOOO! It’s three minutes, sixteen seconds and she looks very, very scared.

To make this as uncomfortable for everyone as possible, the two mount a small platform and then we painstakingly watch all three minutes and twenty seconds of their kiss. At first it’s a fine kiss, then it just drags on and on and I hope they can breathe. They are both commenting how ridiculous it is, and then finally, finally they break the record and detach lips.

What a fun, fun date and what a great story to tell the grandkids, “Oh yeah on our first date Grandpa took me to a crappy museum then forced me to kiss him for a record setting amount of time as he sucked the oxygen from my lungs, then we fell in love”.

Now for the rest of their date under the sign on the roof of the Roosevelt Hotel. Leslie talks about how much she loved growing up, and how much she loves hanging out with her family, and how much she admires the love that her parents have. It might be sincere, but it also just sounds like the list of things Sean wants to hear because that’s what he is all about.

Kacie, Robyn, Kristy, Leslie H., Desiree, Catherine, Taryn, Amanda, Lindsay, Daniela, Jackie, and Tierra are all going on the group date that says “Who’s going to win my heart?” And some of the girls are excited for an active date.

Back on the roof top, Leslie and Sean awkwardly kiss some more while holding champagne flutes! There is nowhere to put them down but they can’t just spill all over each other so they manage to kiss with champagne flutes precariously perched all about. And Sean gives her the rose. I like Leslie just fine, so I’m not sorry to see her stick around for a bit, which I think she just might.

Beach party group date!!! The girls pull up in their beachy best for a day of fun in the sun! Kristy the Ford Model is wearing more makeup than a drag queen and has a bandana around her head like 80s fitness Barbie. All the girls appear to be wearing coordinated swimwear provided by some unnamed sponsor.

Sean does push-ups with one of the girls on his back in front of all the other women.

Surprise! CHRARRISON IS HERE! A no-stakes beach party was too good to be true, so to make everything horrible Bachelor style, they’ll be split into teams and play a game of volleyball. The losing team goes home, and the winning team gets the rest of the date with Sean. They do this at about this time every season just to bring out the best and worst in the contestants.

Handily enough, the randomly selected teams are wearing matching swimsuits. Blue team: Kacie, Lindsay, Jackie, Robyn, Desiree, and Amanda. Red team: Taryn, Leslie, Kristy, Daniela, Tierra, and Catherine. Catherine hasn’t gotten much screen time, but in every frame she is smiling or jumping for joy or laughing and not in a dumb way. I think she is 100% reveling in the fun that is being a contestant on this crazy show, and I like that.

This game is “not exactly pretty” as Sean says and I can’t help but agree. Out of twelve women, not one of them played high school volleyball, and so it drags on and on and on with lots of shrieking and falling. Finally, the blue team prevails and wins their hard-earned time with Sean.

To say the girls on the red team are devastated would not nearly accurately describe the depth of their disappointment. Taryn can’t believe how much was at stake and they lost it all. Over the joyous squawking of the blue team, Sean says good-bye to the other girls.

Kristy starts sobbing and is beating herself up about letting her team down. She needs to take a deep breath. Leslie H. starts crying in the van-ride home too.

The victors are swept off to the most magical and romantic of locations: Sean’s pad. “Follow me. Welcome to my place,” he deadpans as he leads the girls to their dream date. They can’t help but gloat about how lucky they are to spend time with Sean.

Walking into the living of the mansion clad only in the bikinis they left in, the losers arrive to lick their wounds. As some more women begin to cry at their loss, Catherine just holds her face and observes them as if to say, “Omg, guys. Get over it. It’s not that big of a deal.” Preach, Cathy!

Tucked into a dark corner of the property, Lindsay professes her very deep, very quick feelings for Sean and they make out. She seems young, but she’s making up ground from her initial freak-show status.

Desiree pulls him away to another dark corner next, and she is just cute as a button. They have some actually good and natural banter that doesn’t consist of her professing her deep love for him way too soon.

The final one-on-one date card comes and Tierra picks it up. She reads off AshLee’s name…then Selma’s! What!? No! Not a two-on-one! And especially not with those two chicks that I like so much! Except wait. Just kidding. Tierra made a hi-larious little joke there. She is so funny. I’m laughing so much. The girls are about as amused by it as I am. Sarah feels me. She is over that Tierra girl.

So it’s just AshLee on the date. As a side note though, Selma looks like she isn’t wearing a stitch of makeup in this scene and is still radiantly lovely. I’m jealous but even more totally Team Selma.

Anyways, on the group date Amanda is very contrary and still really negative which makes sweet lil’ Desiree all fired up. Amanda proclaimed earlier that she is very competitive and we see that side come roaring out as she goes gunning for the rose. Desiree is not thrilled by her blunt confidence and calls Amanda “creepy”.

Meanwhile, Kacie has been keenly observing this whole ordeal, and decides that it would be to her advantage to tell Sean about their issues because she thinks he won’t put up with drama. So she pulls him aside and tells him all of this. And he basically says who cares? Kacie tries to backtrack and make it about her being confused and distracted, but he’s just over it right then and there.

Sean gives the date rose to Lindsay of all people and she is just happy as can be! A strange choice but whatever, I don’t think she’s going to be here all that long.

Now that that heinous group date is out of the way, it’s time for dear sweet AshLee to get her one-on-one time. She wants to be able to tell Sean about her past and being adopted and just have some good conversation. I like this girl already, and plus her hair is beautiful and her dress is pretty.

Then we hear a series of thuds and several shrieks and squeals. Tierra down, everybody! We have a Tierra down! A burly producer runs right to her aid, as all the other girls quickly gather to observe the scene. They let Sean just waltz into the house and call out “Good-morning!”

He tries asking Tierra questions and she is just not responding and being weird, and he thinks she has a concussion. “As a guy who’s had several concussions,” AH THERE’S THE RUB “I know we might need to get her to a hospital.”

So the ambulance is called and paramedics arrive. But Tierra no likey. As they start to put a brace on and get her strapped to a gurney she becomes quite petulant. “I’m FINE,” she wines, “I don’t wanna do this!” She sounds like a sixteen-year-old being told to clean the bathroom.

She just wants to be left alone! Waaa! She doesn’t want to do this! Waaaa! Sarah makes eye contact with an EMT and they share an eye roll. Sarah is also wearing a “support local artists” tank top, so extra plus bonus points for Sarah.

All of the girls are totally over it when they take off the neck brace and Tierra just springs back into standing position and mopes away. Least amused of all is AshLee, “I’m a smart woman. I can see through [her].” Tierra is twenty-four and seems about as mature as a recently turned twenty-one-year-old. AshLee, despite her infantile name, is thirty-two years old and has been through real sh*t. She has no patience for this. It’s date time! Get your man and go!

Sean and AshLee finally get on their way, and stop his jeep at the front gates to Six Flags! This is a date I can get behind. The park is open only for them, and a few special guests Sean has invited along to show how dear volunteering is to him. Joining them will be two chronically ill girls who met online through a charity called “Starlight Children’s Foundation” but have never met in person. So today, they get to finally meet and spend all day at the amusement park. So sweet. I love this.

Brianna is a tiny little thing with very long hair. You can see the excitement radiating off her, and then the next limo pulls up with Emily. They run to each other and gently hug with great emotion as Sean explains that they both suffer from mitochondrial disease. They both look so wee and fragile, so I hope they don’t break on the coasters.

Sean and AshLee are both very genuine and very sweet with these two girls who are totally awesome. I can’t help but wonder if they’re Nerdfighters. Anybody out there know? They ride the rides and play the games and have tons of fun. It’s a joy fest. AshLee is so touched that Sean was so thoughtful, and he is touched at how natural AshLee is making these girls comfortable.

Then there is a private concert from the Eli Young Band! For once they are not a d-list country band; they are pretty high up there. “I’ve never been to a concert!” one girl says. And they all dance as the girls sing along.

During their one-on-one time, Sean and AshLee have a natural conversation about her childhood and her adoption. She has such a calm demeanor and is so positive about everything that’s happened to her. You can see Sean’s heart growing, especially as she tells the story of really starting her life with her adoptive family. Sean tears up and sheds a few tears. I love seeing a grown man like that get teary eyed, and you can see them having a real connection and not just a Bachelor connection. This is a grounded, smart, great woman. You hold onto her, Sean! You don’t let that get away! And he makes the first step by giving her the rose!

Super creepily the band sneaks up behind them and starts playing again. So naturally they dance and share some really good kisses where Sean once again uses too much tongue. I feel like I see his tongue a lot on this show.

Then the Rose Ceremony of thievery begins. It all starts when Dez steals Sean from Tierra and the fire of Hades (or The Hades, right Daniela?) ignites behind her eyes. Tierra then immediately steals him back and then all of the other girls feel that this is what they must do for time with Sean steal him they must steal Sean but how can each person steal Sean to get the most time when everyone gets no time because of all the stealing?! HUH?? LADIES?? SLOW DOWN AND LET’S THINK.

Somewhere in there Sean pulls Sarah to the front of the house and a limo pulls up. She practically has a seizure thinking he’s sending her home, but really her French bulldog Leo hops out. This is a sweet but decidedly odd gesture for him to ship in her dog for 15 minutes of play time. Like, did it fly in? Who flew it in? How long was the dog there? What’s going on with the logistics of this dog visit!?

Anyways Chris Harrison makes me want to gouge my eyes out and cut off my little recapping fingers because we’re down to just thirteen from sixteen when Sean sends home Taryn and Kristy the Ford Model at the ceremony. He also sends Kacie home essentially for being a crazy person, which he called her to her face, but respects her too much to make her go through all the rose ceremony bullsh.

To conclude, I hope we start traveling soon to make things interesting and start sending girls home left and right. Let’s get this show on the road, people! See you next week when Tierra gets even crazier!!!

Henley Monday:

It's October 1st! Ryan Gosling, patron saint of the henley, shakes his fist at you for not taking advantage of PERFECT henley weather.

Ryan Gosling shakes his fist as if to say, "Men, throw on a thermal or a flannel henley. Ladies, throw your sexy eyes the way of those well-dressed men."

Amen, Ryan, amen.

"The Mindy Project" - A Season 1 Primer

The second season of The Mindy Project premiers tonight, and it’s one of the shows I’m most excited to see back on my TV screen. Maybe you are not like me and did not watch every episode of this show last year when it first aired, and then watched them all a second time (others a third…oops) right when the season ended in May. And maybe you are not like me and would NOT need to obsessively watch every episode of the first season before starting in on season two this evening. I am self-aware enough to know that I am insane and obsessive about my TV and accommodating enough to help you get ready for this very exciting premier.

It’s a primer! A pre-premier primer. It’s a list of the six best episodes of the season that give you a taste of what the show’s all about and catch you up on the plot just enough to get what’s going on in the premier tonight.

1.       “In the Club” – This is the third episode of the season, and the first one where I really saw the potential of the show. You should never judge any show, but particularly comedies, by their pilot episode and TMP’s kind of struggled for me. In the Club is a much better intro to the characters and the dynamic of the group at Schulman & Associates.

2.       “Thanksgiving” – Anna Camp, playing Mindy’s best friend Gwen, is featured heavily and very well here. This episode also guest stars the delightful Ed Helms! The Mindy Project has the greatest revolving door of guest stars maybe ever in a network sitcom. The highlight vignette for me is the storyline at Betsy’s home with Dr. Reed. Great, emotional story telling with the humor strung through in all the right places.

3.       “Josh and Mindy’s Christmas Party” – Ike Barinholtz’ as Morgan Tookers is far and away the funniest guy on the show. He gets me with real, out-loud laughs every time. I’m also a sucker for Christmas episodes, and TPM’s is a great one with plenty of love and also drama. Most importantly there’s a lot of that building sexual tension between Danny Castellano (Chris Messina) and Mindy.

4.       “My Cool Christian Boyfriend” – It was important to include this episode for certain plot aspects. We meet Mindy’s hunk du jour in Anders Holm as Casey, a “cool Christian” minister. The office takes a field trip to a women’s prison, and you can just imagine the hell that breaks loose. Now that we’ve all seen Orange is the New Black, we see prison differently, but it still holds up.

5.       “Santa Fe” – Do you want to see Clay Matthews giving a run down on Downton Abbey? Do you want to see Dr. Reed (Ed Weeks) and Morgan (Ike Barinholtz) becoming bros for life in a sweat lodge? Do you want to lose your mind in excitement over the least possible amount of physical contact between two characters? You do! The answer is: YOU DO.

6.       “Take Me With You” – The Season One finale sets up all the plot you’ll need to understand what exactly is happening when the show premiers tonight. You get the exciting image of Anders Holm reading David Sedaris in a tent. You get building sexual tension between Danny and Mindy. You get a scene where someone runs to express emotions realized! It’s a lot and a great crescendo to end the season.

Obviously I recommend watching the whole season once you’ve got yourself up to speed tonight. All of The Mindy Project is available to you on multiple streaming formats: Hulu, HuluPlus, FoxNOW app (and other less legal services I’m sure).  Please join in my obsessive love for the Mindy Project at 9:30 EST/ 8:30 CT Tuesdays on Fox.

Henley Thursday -

Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi, everyone. It's a really good day to be alive because the first official trailer for CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER was released today and it is a doozy.

CAP. BLACK WIDOW. FURY. THE FALCON. NEW UNIFORM. ACTION. ROBERT REDFORD. JOKES! and of course THE WINTER SOLDIER!!!!

No sign of Batroc the Leaper yet, but with so much goodness placed before me, I can be a little more patient for his reveal.

And of course, because it's all about henleys after all. I present to you Chris Evans looking.......................pretty good, preh-tay gooooood.