#hopepunk #just Humans Making Things Better

Hope is resilience, and it is fucking tough. I was talking with a friend about how if you expect the worst, don't let yourself be hopeful, you feel protected and strong, but it is fake. My friend was telling me that he tends to think: "If I know in advance that it was going to be shitty and horrible, I'm no fool, I was right." But then he realized: "Wait, why am I happy to be right about that? This is shitty and horrible!"

Being negative and in a "I'm no fool" mindset feels safe but actually does not protect from harm. It comes from fear. As my friend concluded: "Being hopeful and open is actually the brave thing to do. And I don't want to be a wimp."

don't give up

hi love you guys do me a favor. big big big BIG breath in right now all the way all the way breathe in feel your belly expanding hold hold hold.. hold.. now everything out like ur a deflating balloon. whoosh. whooooooooosh. imagine water streaming from the top of your head down your shoulders off the ends of your fingertips and toes. u are a reed in a river a beam of pure light a steady anvil solid and heavy. ok that was all thank u

i think "it takes a village" shouldn't be just "to raise a child". we should understand it takes a village to do literally everything we do. all day every day. without our communities we would not have drinking water or electricity or clean streets or food or shelter or anything. we cannot do any thing alone. we just can't. and with that comes the fact that you are not alone. you already have a community, seek to be an active part of it, you will feel better. reach out and thank them, they're happy to have you too. i promise. it takes a village to live.

🗡️ It takes more than three words…

to say I love you in the ways you deserve 🗡️ words of affirmation prompts

“I can see that you care for them, even if you don’t say it directly. It’s in everything you do.”

“You deserve to relax.”

“That top complements your eyes really well!”

“Hey, you tried your best on that project. It may have fallen apart in the end—but you tried. That’s what matters.”

“I really admire how you stood up for them. That takes a lot of courage.”

“You make people feel safe. Like they can be themselves without judgment… at least that’s how I feel around you.”

“You’re looking less like you got dragged out of hell every day!” (“Thanks?” “Going to hell and back doesn’t mean you got any less attractive.”)

“I don’t think you were in the wrong. Now I’m not saying you were right, but you made a good point and I think they should consider that.”

“It’s okay to be just okay. I’m here for you no matter what.”

“We adore you! We want you around! You’re our friend, why wouldn’t we want to hang out with you?”

“You are worthy of love and friends and respect.”

“Keep going, you’re doing great!”

“Woah, that was sick. Can you teach me how to do that?”

“You look healthier, you really do.”

“I would be nervous too in your shoes. But you’d be telling me that I got this, so I’m telling you: You got this.”

“I’m so proud of you.”

“I really care about you and want you to become the best version of yourself, whoever that may be.”

“Regardless of your gender, you’ll still be allowed in the treehouse.” (this came from a really funny and reassuring conversation with a friend LOL)

“I trust that you won’t hurt me.”

“You’re a really wonderful person. The world would be a better place with more people like you.”

A friend reminded me today of the sentence:

"you cannot shame yourself into improvement".

All very true, and something I needed to hear. So lucky to have other humans sharing wise words and making my life better, irl and on Tumblr.

If you have a goal to change this year, be sure to build your plan on a foundation of self-love, not self-criticism. You are worthy just as you are. If you hope to change, remember that each little step on that path is a tiny gift honoring your own sense of self-worth. Move forward in the name of care, not condemnation.

“Before the writers started working on the first season, I wrote a list of six things on the wall that every episode had to do.” - Mike Schur (x)

why have i been disgraced

i think the thing that makes me the most emotional in life is the realization that everything i have and everything i see has been touched by other people. someone designed the logo of my favorite tea bags and someone decided which paintings should go in the calendar hanging on my wall. someone built the roof above my head and someone paved the street outside my house. someone made this pair of glasses specific for me, someone picked the pear i ate with my lunch and someone designed my favorite sweater. every book i read, every song i listen to, every film i watch, tens, if not hundreds of people had to be there to make it happen. even if i am alone, i am always surrounded by other human beings - a fact that makes my heart squeeze in on itself everytime i remember it.

The way I see it, there are two kinds of shame:

Shame for doing something actually bad

Shame for doing something others/society has told you is bad

The first includes things that actually cause harm to someone, like a thoughtless comment or stepping on your dog's paw, etc. These are actions which require acknowledgement and amends.

The second is much broader, and includes everything from liking bad movies to being queer. These are things that may be unusual but are ultimately harmless. Someone or something in your life has just treated that oddity as a transgression, and one way or another you've internalized that perspective.

In my opinion it is crucially important for your well-being to be able to separate the two. If you don't, and you're treating the shame of having punched someone identically to liking a critically-panned movie, you're going to be a anxious wreck. You'll be constantly over-analyzing and policing yourself, feeling like a bad person who's just been really good at hiding it so far.

In the worst cases you might lash out at other people enjoying harmless things, redirecting your shame outward and becoming unable to distinguish truly harmful actions from those you’ve just been taught are bad.

Shame is a feeling that can really eat away at you if you let it. It's best to know when it's appropriate. If it is, you can act on it to resolve what's happened. If it's not, you can let that feeling go so it doesn't take any more from you.