I Loved This :)

I loved this :)

dating headcanons between g!red x reader x steven?? :3

my name is glitchy red, yo. [ VINE BOOM ]. my husbands name. is strangled red, yo. [ LOUDER VINE BOOM ]

[ said at the same time ] and this is our partner, y/n red, yo. [ THE MOST OBNOXIOUS VINE BOOM YOU'VE EVER HEARD ]

sorry. Anyways that was a yes. i assume this is polyamorous bc i always assume that by default ( love triangles are boring, fight me )

long As usual and im not too proud of this ( i ramble too much!! i get too into the dynamics and the issues and the characterization rather than just the lovey fluffy stuff ppl prob want!!! ) but i hope it suffices

glitchy red x reader x steven headcanons!

ღ i have no idea in what situation you'd start dating the two of them, and i have no idea how steven and glitchy met either. but hey. You're all in a relationship now. This is a win for red emoboy kissers

ღ i like to think glitchy and steven argue sometimes. its honestly mostly glitchy getting angry, and then steven responding in an entirely neutral tone, and glitchy getting angrier and mistaking it for vague passive aggressiveness bc steven's tone is hard to read a lot of the time. To be fair steven is sometimes smug or passive-aggressive when he feels comfortable being like that, mainly with glitchy since he likes to piss him off as a joke. he usually does this later on in a relationship since he initially doesn't speak much. please calm them both down theyll bite eachother ( not really ) ( ... i mean ok, glitchy will probably bite, but it'd barely make steven flinch )

ღ if they ever have a genuine argument both of them usually don't apologize without a bit of nudging. or until like. weeks later. please nudge them in that direction for a Healthier Relationship. they'll kiss and make up and then kiss you at the same time. they both love u very much <33

ღ two very big scary boyfriends <333. glitchy is the one who obviously lets himself show emotion a lot more visibly - at least, his rage. if anyone is shitty to you glitchy is going off on their ass verbally, and steven is just staring at them. like. fucking death glaring. neither of them will genuinely hurt anyone unless they hurt anyone within the relationship first, but they do have thoughts about it. They Consider It.

ღ glitchy likes to explore a lot more than steven does - mostly pacing and taking a stroll to clear his mind or let off steam after an argument or negative experience. if you also want to then glitchy and you will drag a tentative steven around by the hair. he just lets it happen at this point. Most stable polycule.

ღ you two will usually end up in a cafe or smth bc glitchy is the one who usually initiates dates, due to just exploring and finding a place that catches his eye and then mentally jotting it down for later to take you two there. the waiter will be so confused since... pallet town's local ex-champion cryptid, the current champion but put through jpeg compression, and someone who is Probably relatively normal are sitting at a table together. they didn't get paid enough for this.

ღ steven is a decent amount taller than both you and glitchy. glitchy himself is probably 5'11 or 6' and steven is like fucking 6'6 or something insane like that. he's also pretty strong. will usually scruff the two of you out of bad situations or when either of you are misbehaving. he is somehow the most functional and reasonable one out of the polycule, probably, which is very funny considering how dysfunctional he actually is.

ღ steven and glitchy both very much enjoy their hair being played with, styled, or brushed.... a good lazy day in for the two of you is cuddling in bed while you brush and braid stevens hair, and pet glitchys ( surprisingly soft! ) hair at the same time. the two will also do this to each other sometimes, but since glitchy is Bad at taking care of hair all he'll do is run his hands through steven's.

ღ if you like this as well, they'll be sure to reciprocate. do be warned that glitchy has no fucking idea how to take care of hair though. steven does since he has long hair, but glitchy just. Never had to do that. glitchy will just run his hands through your hair though since he's certain he can't mess that up - hopefully.

ღ they both have very similar clothes. you will probably joke about how they'd look like the same person if glitchy didn't have his whole glitchy aura and had longer hair. after some thinking, the two probably talk and buy you a matching set of clothes along with your own hat out of sheer curiousity. they will not admit it but... you look really cute in it.

ღ steven and you will play games together sometimes ( once again. never forget that steven is canonically a gamer. Do not let anyone forget ) and glitchy will just sit there and backseat. steven probably doesn't get that annoyed by it, but if you do then he finds your outbursts after you've had enough of glitchy back seating sorta funny.

ღ if you're the type of person to give compliments really easily, it'll destroy both of them. glitchy will stutter and flub his words and his face will become more red than his namesake, while steven on the other hand will just... blush, look away, and mumble a "Thanks."

ღ they will get back at you for this though ( aka both will intentionally try to fluster you and hard. they also try to fluster each other sometimes. especially when arguing, steven will just say shit like "You look nice today." to glitchy ( mostly to make him shut up ) and he'll continue ranting until his brain registers what steven just said and then he'll just verbally keysmash like "IUQYhnj(!*&????" . because he can do that this is canon im the author of glitchy red /j )

ღ steven's probably the best at flustering you two, though. after all he Did used to be a people person and also had a girlfriend. although he used to be stereotypically romantic and cheesy with it, but nowadays especially the more the relationship goes on, he can just casually say smth like "You look hot, by the way." and just not think about it. he always flirts in a very blunt and straightforward way like this and it messes with you two - he finds the reactions funny and will just silently chuckle to himself.

ღ i sort of forget a bunch of details abt glitchy reds og pokepasta sometimes - for example glitchy Probably not having pokemon due to the weird... cursed... poison... thing in the og pokepasta. therefore, you all have a mutual pokemon as a pet. which is a big hulking fucking dragon. you know what time it is baby its MIKI TIME !!!!!!!! glitchy might be freaked out around her, mainly her... missingno bits. missingno doesn't scare him as much as it used to - there were much worse glitches out there to him, but god he never gets fully used to it. he'll eventually calm down the more and more he sees her, but he can't help but be unnerved. still gives her pets though and she seems to appreciate it?

ღ due to this steven will sometimes make miki jumpscare glitchy bc he finds it funny. glitchy Very much does not find it funny and he'll panic and glitch out pretty hard. miki feels bad. steven feels a little bad. you have to reconcile them after this like you do a bunch of other times </3

ღ glitchy also does piss off steven and fuck around with him sometimes more than he should though. they really just like to get under eachothers skin. and then sometimes make out as an apology. Most stable polycule x 2. they're sort of petty and childish with how often they try to prank and piss each other off. neither will stop until you tell them to or until they even the scores out between them. please help them or else they'll divorce for the 45th time ( they're not even married )

ღ glitchy is usually the one who points out and pushes steven to take care of himself, though. if you're bad at doing that for yourself then he will with you as well - he notices because he's surprisingly the person that takes care of himself the most. ever since he got out of the game he craves to feel and be real, so he loves to eat and bathe and sleep and do all of that since he was never able to in the game, so it's easy for him to notice when you two aren't.

ღ steven sometimes has bad dreams, mostly about The Incidents. it'll be pretty clear when he does - usually grumbling or sleeptalking and moving around in his sleep a decent bit. due to glitchys Dream Bullshit Powers he'll help steven if he's awake when he's having a bad nightmare. same with you. i like to think glitchy just doesn't have the capability dream whatsoever ( or he does but theyre always lucid ), but it's up in the air.

ღ these two both hug spine crushingly tight because both are very undersocialized. you have to tell them to knock it off and go lighter. when they cuddle with you in bed though, they're noticeably a lot better about it. the two wrapping their arms around you makes you feel really safe and loved.

ღ whoevers in the middle when you two go to bed / cuddle changes sometimes. steven's content with being on the sides, but glitchy and you i like to think sometimes argue for that middle spot. he loves being held even though he will never admit it. please hold his hand or hug him he will Fucking die.

ღ when glitchy or steven can't sleep, they're both the type of person to just sorta watch you sleep and take comfort in it. they don't intend to be creepy about it but if you wake up and just see their red fucking eyes staring back it is slightly jarring.

ღ steven is at least decent at cooking. glitchy is trying to learn how. both are Malewifes. will give you breakfast in bed with a side of 50 kisses.

ღ if you ( or glitchy, somehow??? ) are sick though, steven will be the one to try to take responsibility, mostly bc glitchy doesn't know ... how to really help. and steven's used to taking care of sick people since he's had a few times in his life where he had to care of his brother, his (ex) girlfriend, and his pokemon when they were sick. if steven himself is sick though he'll just either pretend he isn't and do his day-to-day things until he collapses, or will just sit in bed until it goes away.

ღ glitchy has a soft spot for plushies and will probably buy and collect a few to adorn your ( probably shared ) bed/bedroom with.

ღ they both snore a little, glitchy snoring the loudest. i hope you are not annoyed by snoring bc if you are then uhh. Woops.

ღ steven has gotten into the habit of making some hot tea for himself and you two whenever he wakes up, so i hope you like tea. it's mostly for his own throat to be honest.

ღ please massage steven's back for him his scoliosis is fucking awful. literally if you even just lay on his back he'll probably like it. glitchy slouches a little but not as often. if you asked steven to stand up straight you'd hear 50 of his bones crack /j /probably

ღ steven's usually either basically always up or is up at the weirdest times ever. dude who goes to bed at like 8 am. or 4 pm.

ღ glitchy i don't think is much better but he's slightly more normal about it. they'll try to orient their schedules around yours though ( aka by sleeping around the time you do ), since... neither really have much to do anyways?

ღ since glitchys the one that goes out a lot ( other than maybe you ) he buys the two of you gifts a lot. you will be bombarded with affection. NOW !!

ღ ok i dont have that much else to pad this out with uhh erm uhhhhhhh. they may fight w eachother a lot but they really do love eachother. and you especially! you're like the glue that holds the whole thing together and the two of them really appreciate it.