Crack Au Where Hal Has To Babysit The Cosmic Parasite That’s Obsessed With Him, It’s Awful And Everyone

pls give me the todorokis (rei, enji, the four siblings and their significant others) on a vacation

seeing as i havent had one in years now i dont think im the one to write this aha but just imagine touya pulling up with the number 2 hero and enji's co-worker, fuyumi with the number 5 hero miruko, natsuo with the heir of fucking one for all and leader of the biggest villain group in the country, aaaand shoto with enji's biggest rival's successor

it'd be great. just the four todoroki siblings vibing and existing, knowing that's enough to stress out their shitty father

I appreciate the canon that:

a) Only Klavier Gavin is allowed to bully Apollo Justice, according to Apollo Justice. When Phoenix teases Apollo calling him “Herr Forehead” in the DD Quiz DLC, Apollo gets mad and says only Prosecutor Gavin can call him that.

b) Only Simon Blackquill is allowed to bully Athena Cykes, according to Simon Blackquill. Simon riffs on Athena’s inexperience in 6-4, but the moment Nahyuta does the same, Simon decides it is his life calling to make Nahyuta miserable.

chapter two snack mmm

me at any given time: can we just buckle down and focus on the task at hand please???

my brain:

my brain: ……….ranibow sprimkle……………

That’s life, baby! 🎆

homies want a couple of things, and this is one of them

Bucky Barnes Bruce Wayne

🤝

Drinking coffee straight out of the coffee pot while watching their boyfriends make breakfast

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31835872/chapters/78818827

have this (and cringe at my attempt at humor)

(mmm adventures of tired+bitchass DILF constantine and a swearing sunshine 12 year old kid) this is a horribly long list im sorry; im adding to the "john and shazam are dating misunderstanding" hc i saw when browsing

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due to billy's reaction at canary telling him that john kissed zantanna, word gets around that john is lowkey polyamorous

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the engagement party is somewhat awkward cuz john and billy are like: ??? what????

billy, as he sees john being congratulated on his "engagement" by the members of the jl: is john getting married to zantanna?

~

i said this before but when the league sees john with billy (without him being shazam/chilling in his true form), everyone assumes that billy’s john and shazam’s adopted kid

green arrow: how's life with your dads?

billy, in his true form, confused: don't you mean dad?

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when billy (as shazam) accidentally stubs his toe onto something hard, the jl hears the loudest "FUCK!" from him and thinks that he's gotten into john's swearing habits

superman: i see you have gotten some...habits

billy, who swears like a sailor all the time and thinks superman is mentioning his lessons with john: okay???

This is fantastic and cursed, I love it.

~

Captain Marvel: (Injured)

Superman: (panicking) You’re husband is coming soon, just hang in there.

Captain Marvel, who is too injured to understand what was just said to him: k

~

John: He’s a handful to put to bed.

Captain Marvel: Hey, it’s not my fault I want to keep playing!

The entire league, not knowing Cap was talking about animal crossing: 😶

IM AT A HISTORIC LANDMARK