Ahhhhhhhhhh

Guess who’s sick and feels like shit!

So I started watching manner of death. I’m on episode 3 (about halfway through) and like, damn. Spoilers included so the topics in the show will be discussed.

Just, what the fuck. Like they be all like it’s solved, all the evidence points to her committing suicide. To the doctor who was, you know, threatened attacked intimidated. And they what? Just expect him to stop and accept that? Excuse me? After he was literally threatened? Like, they must realize how bizarre that sounds. You know if they only trashed the evidence and didn’t interact with the doctor at all, while he wouldn’t give up, he also wouldn’t have even more reason to investigate and know for sure that there’s more to the case. Cause come on. It’s one thing to have physical evidence and context clues it’s another to be literally told “hey, stop looking into this or we’ll kill you”. And then assaulted. Realistically while that would be terrifying one would not feel safe after that and would be clued in on that whatever happened to her will probably happen to him too. Just, aaaaauuuuuuugggghhhh. Okay okay. Continuing the episode now.

Calmly painting, finally at peace with my work-

Wait no

There’s a drop there’s a paint drop where it’s not supposed to beeeeee!!!!

Aaaahahdbhdnfjfnfn

All good all good. Just a spot of green that shouldn’t be there. Got most of it off but it’s watercolor so you know. Is what it is now

Sometimes I’ll get feedback on a piece of work but the way it’s said feels like a diss. So eventually I take it as a challenge. Either a by heeding the advice or challenging it completely. Too childish? Too simple? Does that make it wrong? How does that affect the piece? Does it invalidate the piece? Can it add to the message? Essentially fuck you professor I’ll find a way to make it work and simultaneously piss you off.

I happen to like my professors it’s just sometimes I wonder why something is deemed wrong and want to find a workaround. I know they don’t mean it to be rude but anger is a motivation and I will find a way to make this work. Too simple? I’ll remake the piece but does simplicity make the original work bad? Or is it not realistic enough for this specific assignment? Just somethings I think about.

Do we submit reasons for the poll characters here? If not then sorry for the long character spiel.

I know there’s hardly any time left for this but I just wanted to send this in to protect one of my comfort characters. Guo Changcheng. For the greenest flag category. So he’s basically just a literal puppy. Thrown to the wolves on his first day of work, he tries hard to connect and help out his coworkers. Clumsy and a bit lost most times, he will do his best to cheer anyone up. Constantly taking notes so that he can be of better help and being the one who always comforts others. He tries his absolute hardest to learn so that he can protect his friends, so much so that it can be detrimental to himself. Has literally pushed through death defying experiences and injuries just to give strangers comfort. (Next part could spoil but only if one knows the show. I don’t think it spoils anything with the way it’s written but just want to write this just in case.) He won’t let you die alone, even if it kills him.

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Two worlds - I’ve definitely started watching this drama before but I don’t remember what happens in it. Eh may as well try watching it now. Honestly I’m just trying to figure out when I watched this before now. Eh who knows, I’ve watched a lot of dramas. Well at least this will keep a record of them. Anywho, show intro. Ahem: There is a tale that when the pond shines blue one will reunite with the deceased. An artist and childhood friend reunite after years (?) apart. What is the relationship between them? Murder, betrayal, love, loss, what lies in store for the artist?

Tale of a Thousand Stars - I watched this a couple years ago. I enjoyed it. There’s one iffy plot line with medical inaccuracy (weird soul connection that’s confusing and unnecessary in my opinion). Other than that I enjoyed it and the storyline.

2gether the Series - I watched this a while ago and can’t remember enough of the beginning to give an overview. Takes place in university and is a romance show. Well that’s all I can think of at the moment. I’ll make a more organized list of shows with summaries later, these are just my rambled summaries at the moment.

Because of you - Seems fun so far. Three brothers are heirs of the Yuan company. Same father, different mothers, the three care for each other in their own way. Through all their bickering, they are brothers. Rumors of another Yuan son in existence, what will these brothers do? (Just a short and sweet romance. I expected more of a plot with all the kidnappings and attacks but that is not the plot line of this show)

Manner of Death - It feels sad and I don’t feel like watching something sad so I don’t know what this one is about. If it has a good ending then maybe I’ll watch it but I don’t think it does. I’m just not in the mood for another bad ending. If this show is for you then enjoy!

Laws of Attraction - this one’s scare me. I know there’s going to be like a lot of manipulation, secrets, and plotting so I’m just uh not prepared for that at the moment. I can’t write an overview on it since I haven’t seen it yet so uh, good luck and have fun!

To Sir, With Love - the reason I know about Laws of Attraction is because I watched this one. Woo! The characters are very different. Anyway, hmm. I can’t think of a good overview at the moment but I’ll probably be back to write one. Super cute, I highly enjoyed it and I love the brother. There’s drama, mystery, romance, and bad*ss characters. There’s one plot line that’s dragged out for a while and once you think you can’t hold on anymore it gets revealed. So stay strong, it’s worth it. The setting is in an older time period during a war or invasion (sorry I don’t remember correctly. I believe it was Japanese occupation? I’m not good at history but I’m fairly sure that was the premise of the story). Anywho, two brothers born from different mothers grow up as heirs to a company (I can’t remember specifics, I’m sorry). Meant to be rivals, they bond and care for each other as amazing siblings. They are super supportive. With war on the horizon and hidden plots going around, what will become of these brothers? Who is this mystery woman? Is that an assassin? Oh dear…

The World Owes Me a First Love - Appears to be a cute romance. I’ll check it out later.

Long Time No See - A novel writing hitman wants to retire. Will he be able to leave this life behind?

Rebound - I love basketball man. I should really start playing again. Anyway, old friends reunite. A basketball club in flames. What will happen?

My Sweet Dear Korean bl - Chef versus Chef, what will become of the dueling cooks? (Honestly it’s a nice cute movie)

The Tasty Florida - movie. Cute so far. I’m halfway through this. Some drama was going down so I just needed a breather.

Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding - Cute short series. Nobleman Ryu gets married only to find out that his supposed to be wife is missing and her brother took her place. Watch as they work together to find out what happened to the supposed-to-be-wife and keep their cover from being blown.

At 2500 in Akasaka - Old university classmates reunite after receiving the leading roles of a bl film. As co-leads these two will need to learn how to work together. Will they support each other? What happened in the past? (Honestly I’m only two episodes into this one at the moment, I hope the intro was a good enough overview).

Why r u - there’s a Korean version and a Thai version. I’ve seen some of both of them, they seem good so far. Both take place in university but the Korean one focuses on acting and production whereas the Thai one doesn’t. I like both. They’re fun. Hatred spewing between the two, a rivalry arose as one’s romantic interest was seeing both of them. While disliking each other, the main character’s sister is having the time of her life writing a bl novel taking inspiration from her surroundings. Unfortunately for our main character, that includes him. After making a bet with his sister, main character is now afraid that the novel is coming to life. What will the mc do now? Ah I finished one version, it was super cute. I loved the ending.

i before e except after c or when as in ei (a) as in neighbor or weigh

Science wtf man. Why

I mean I guess since it’s pronounced sci-ence

Haven’t been able to fall asleep and the amount of work I need to get done feels too much right now. Feels like I’m probably gonna fail, which makes me feel like shit. But even if I do fail

I could always retake the course. I just don’t want to disappoint people. So what happened was I was taking three courses this semester and prioritized one over the other two causing me to fall behind in both. Now it’s finals week and ima till so fucking behind. So I don’t know if I’ll pass them. And I don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t. I’ve almost caught up in one of them but still. Feels like I should just cut my losses and focus on which one I’m more likely to pass. But I want to try. And by trying to do both I might just shoot myself in the foot doing this.

But what if I succeed? What if I fail? If I succeed I’d most likely get a c, if I’m lucky a b. If I fail I could retake the course. Don’t know if I’d still qualify for financial assistance though if I fail these two. I mean I’m not on a scholarship so it’s not that big of a deal I suppose but still. You know I never planned to go to college. Like when I was in school it was expected of me. But school really fucked me up. Had to get As all the time that I’d breakdown over get a b or just a fucking 90%. It wouldn’t matter which assignment, or how many points it was. I would stress over everything. Then I failed a few classes (there were extenuating circumstances that added to this), but it was so freeing. I redid the courses over summer and just felt so alive. The world didn’t implode and I was still alive. It had a lot less impact than I expected. I mean I was still pressured to get good grades but it didn’t hurt as much. Now though getting an A doesn’t feel like an achievement or something that I accomplished, it still just feels like an expectation. So it still hurts when I fail to meet it. And so I decided after graduating that there was no way in hell id go to college. But then I took a single course and honestly enjoyed it. It does help that I qualified for some financial things that cover me for a few years (which really was the deciding factor, it only lasts a set amount of years for me so if I don’t take courses now the money assistance would expire so gotta use it while I can). But old mindsets keep creeping back in. Lack of faith in myself, what could very well be executive dysfunction, mental health issues, just piled up again this semester. Keep thinking I overcame it that I’m doing better and it all comes crashing back. It’s hard. And I don’t know how to tell people that. I just accept my actions as they are and continue on. And I fucked up a lot this semester. But I also did try. There’s also the fact that I get sick when I stress out now. Started happening junior year of high school. On the very last day of school I puked due to stress. Ended up not going cause I couldn’t tell if I was sick or not. Since then whenever I stress out or overthink I puke. I’ve gotten better at managing it but I also have started to get nauseous when anxious so I need to do something. I’ve been meaning to meditate consistently but it’s the consistent part I’m having trouble with. Though I do think it would help. So I guess I’m just worried. And I still have all the work I need to do. I know I’m gonna try but if I fail anyway it’s gonna hurt so much. But I’ll be prepared for next time. No matter the outcome I’ll be prepared for next time. Okay, yeah. I’ll be okay. Sorry just needed to vent. Needed a moment to breathe.

Trick or treat! This year I went as Hilda from fire emblem. Actually had the costume for a few years now but was making it by hand (something I’ve never done before but figured why not) so uh never really finished some bits and bobs. This time I finished her weapon so went as her anyway. Have a wonderful day/night!

woah that's so cool!! i've never made a costume by hand like that but i imagine it's super rewarding when you're finished. i bet you looked awesome!

anyways hilda's pink hair (i did have to look her up lol) reminded me of bubble gum so take some blow pops!

and i wasn't sure what to gif for your bonus since i don't know if you share the same brainrot as me but i figure you can't really go wrong with cute boys on a cute arcade date so

happy (belated) halloween!! 👻

I want you guys to know that your posts make me incredibly happy. Your blogs brighten my day and put a smile on my face. Your existence brings me joy and I’m so happy to be able to interact with a part of you. Thank you for existing. And being so freaking amazing and wonderful. Love you guys.