It's All Just A Dream.

Weather, if you could not do the whole downpour while sunny thing, that'd be great.

I made my first attempt at a smoothie today. It had too much ice and wouldn't flow. The only solution was to add vodka to thaw it. Trust me, I'm an engineer.

I wish I could get amnesia, disappear, and end up somewhere no one knows me.

I think my life has a shortage of beautiful women with tattoos.

Life goals

I have decided that I am going to marry into a family the last name Fowler, take their name, and name my kid Bard Ash Moulder Fowler. I'd be such a proud dad.

I haven't slept well since two nights during my junior year of high school. It's been twelve years of pain since, and of the things I've forgotten, those two nights are still with me. Would be nice to have those happen again.

People on my facebook keep posting things about goats. Not sure what started that whole thing, but it did remind me just how awesome and badass goats are. They do whatever the fuck they feel like doing. Mostly, that's just finding the tallest object around and fucking standing on it. Do they need a reason? No. They give no fucks. They're goats. They watch you from their high places and use their voodoo laser eyes to peer into your soul so they can decide whether or not they want to eat it because they'll eat anything. Why? No one knows. They're goats. They don't give a fuck about property because they believe in their ability to chew on anything, and tasty souls are their number one. Who knows how Satan became associated with a goat, but I bet it had something to do with a farmer pissed off at how his goat would stand on top of his shit all day, then eat it after getting bored. Satan's probably afraid of goats because they'd just stand on his head, then chew on it because they're no-fucks-giving goats. Satan associated goats with himself, then spread the idea around the mortal population to prove the point goats are not to be fucked with. If fucking Galactus showed up to Earth, we wouldn't need Avengers or Guardians of the Galaxy, we'd need goddamn goats. He can't eat a planet if the goats eat him, first, and you bet your ass they would. They won't just stand on anything or eat anything, either. They've also developed an ability to head butt shit with enough force to cause small amounts of nuclear fusion. If they can't stand on something because it keeps moving, they'll deliver a head butt to the brief annoyance that reaches its resonant frequency and shatters it into oblivion. Then, the goat will either stand on the remains or devour them. Or both. A goat doesn't care. So, next time you happen across a farm or mountainside and feel you're being watched, remember that somewhere is a goat, not even a hungry goat, that's determining if your soul is tasty enough to be worth coming down from wherever it's standing. A goat won't care. It's a goat. If you don't have a soul, it's a perfect pet.

You know you're a POS when you have zero doubt in your mind that invading another country is okay, and you refuse to hear out anyone that believes it may have been a very poor/internationally immoral choice. Or you are when you are so rife with corruption you don't want to accept responsibility for stealing millions from your country to build yourself a nicer mansion.

The worst thing about wondering if it's better to be dead or living is not knowing the experience of being dead, and once it happens, there's no way to communicate the experience irrefutably.

It's just like ordinary, everyday experience, only two inches from the ground. Of course it'd be my favorite piece by Audiomachine that's an industry release... They really did capture the feeling.