People On My Facebook Keep Posting Things About Goats. Not Sure What Started That Whole Thing, But It

Spy gun. Check. Holster. Check. All I need now is a nice suit.

What do you do when you push away someone you love because you were both too young and scared, only to find them years later in an unhappy, physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive marriage? Is it right to try to convince her to leave? If I never stopped loving her, does wanting her to be safe and happy - even if it’s not with me - make me a terrible person? If she reached out to me after so long and still has feelings enough to want me back in her life as someone she trusts and loves, does caring for her enough to tell her she needs to run before it’s too late make me seem jealous? I do not want to be in her equation to stay or flee this overly-gender-roled, traditional, “christian”, repressive, abusive, marriage. I want her to be happy. I grew up in a household like that. My father using my stepmother as a brood mare and refusing to let her do anything outside the house. She always hated my brother and I. She was always cold and mean. It wasn’t until years later I found a bottle of anti-depressants she’d had hidden away in a spice cabinet (a place my father would never look). It took me years longer to realize the damage you sustain when you force yourself into a relationship with someone who isn’t who they claim, someone who wants you to change everything about you, someone who only wants to use you. It was killing my stepmother. It almost killed me. How could I on good conscience not want someone I still love to save herself from becoming warped, worn down, trapped in even something so binding as marriage. Before we even broke up, I knew leaving her was a huge mistake. I knew there was a risk she could be caught up in a near-shotgun wedding with some piece of trash who had no perspective outside his sheltered, “christian” life. I wanted to believe it would never happen. I wanted to believe she’d grow up, too, and find someone who loved her the way I should have, the way I would now that I’ve grown, too. Wanted to believe after these years she’d found that. She found the nightmare of my childhood... Is it wrong to want her to save herself? Is it wrong to tell her to stop rationalizing against his threats, his (for now) limited physical violence, his deception from who he was in dating to a 180° as married, his constant control and belittling, his refusal to acknowledge how hard she works as a nurse going to school part time while trying to stay physically healthy (This guy’s a fat POS, by the way [Not to belittle those who are overweight/big; he actually ridicules her for working out while he sits around on his fat ass eating food he expects her to prepare for him and refuses to do anything around the house after his cushy, 9-3, bank job.].), and his unconscionable mentality he is perfect and she should be changing for him? I cannot physically help her. We are far apart. I want her to be strong and make the decision for herself. She can, but she’s afraid. I would pay for her plane ticket away from there. I would drive there, if I could make it in time. I need her to be safe from that kind of life. Yes, she chose to marry him. She got caught up in her dreams as a young girl. Before you could really see what was happening, she was in this. She’s been married two years now. The first went by so fast. This last one has seen her finally realizing where she is. In this last year, she changed the most from what I remember. She’s still gorgeous, smart, wonderful, caring, loving, but it wasn’t until now she learned what I learned from my own abusive relationships. I regret letting her go enough in the first place. To lose her entirely to... that... would be too much.

Today, I thought I was going to have a moment with a couple girls taking a walk all thanks to Pokemon Go. Unfortunately, they were just walking. Guess meeting people that way is only for fairy tales.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-35226276 I wish I was the most badass of burglars. If I could have anything in the world, it'd be this. Even if it was mine under very shady circumstances.

Don't know what I'm supposed to feel on these meds... Is depression medication supposed to make you feel happy? That's not the case right now, for sure. Maybe just slightly less miserable? And a little less clouded over? Maybe there's no medication to fix what I am.

A friend of mine and I hatched an idea to create a grocery store for single people. It'd sell food in amounts that cater to being single. There'd also be cooking classes for single people. We feel packaging and portion sizes cater only to families and groups, while single people are forced to either over-eat or waste food. Though, the best part of this plan is that kids are not permitted in the store. We didn't nail down an age, but the goal is to exclude shrieking children. And their parents. A quiet place for those of us who hate kids to get single-size stuff.

Is it guilt? What is it?

I have this weird, lingering... feeling...? Since we broke up about a year ago, we remained in contact, I have seen my ex gain at least thirty pounds. She was always insecure, depressed, anxious, etc. on top of being just downright lazy when it came to her physical well-being, and there was nothing I could say or do to get her to change that. She takes half a dozen medications to help her, and it seems to me they don't work. She refused to even eat better (A salad with ten ounces of ranch dressing is not healthy) when I gave up on offering to do walk-jog-run or something as simple as Wii-Fit. I didn't care she was overweight already or not as active as she should have been, I just wanted her to actually think for once instead of sitting on facebook all day eating junk food and looking (then, subsequently, complaining to me) at how all these "friends" kept getting married, engaged, blah, blah, blah. Eventually, the daily irony of being all these things on top of her going to nursing school was too much for me to bear. Few things make me angrier than people in health care, or trying to get into it, who can hardly make it up a flight of steps, much less have some semblance of mental/emotional stability. I don't care how smart a person is in a classroom (she is very book-smart, that much is true). If they think they are material for being in a position to possibly need to save people and have zero stability other than this illogical, masochistic idea that being in health care will mystically make themselves better (physically, mentally, emotionally), they're wrong. Thinking a job they will have huge responsibilities will magically make them take care of themselves, too, simply makes no sense at all when they have fits of depression or anxiety that keep them in bed all day. It makes me sad, too. It makes me sad because a part of me really, REALLY wanted to help her. I wanted to help her succeed, but she'd have nothing of it. A part of me also feels responsible for how she reacted to the breakup. Honestly, that's illogical, as well. Maybe even more so than her mindset. There was little worthwhile about that relationship, honestly. The relationship yielded little more than what a good friendship could have (sex has never been a strong selling point to me). Maybe if we'd been friends longer before dating, we could have circumvented the inevitable. She isn't a bad person, but she is too self-destructive for anyone less than psychiatrists to handle. Still... All-in-all, for whatever, ridiculous reason, I still feel bad... and I don't know why...