I'm Really Curious About The Story Behind "tattooed His Ashes Onto My Ankle"

i'm really curious about the story behind "tattooed his ashes onto my ankle"

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT ENCOURAGE/ADVISE ANYONE TO DO AS I HAVE DONENemo died like no other cat I’ve ever had. Usually, if cats are getting old and/or sick, they run off and hole up somewhere. Nemo hopped off my dad’s lap and was heading to the food bowl when he just fell over. Must have had a heart attack or a stroke or something. He was an awesome cat (Thus the title “The Cat by Which All Other Cats are Judged and Found Wanting”) and my friend for 13 years.When we got his ashes back from the vet, I took a pinch of them, mixed them in with some tattoo ink, and gave myself a stick n’ poke of the alchemical symbol for ash.

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More Posts from Panic-volkushka and Others

11 years ago

Dreamed that I was on a road trip with some friends. The car was very full, so I had to sit crouched on the shoulder of the passenger seat. The person seated in the passenger seat looked like Benedict Cumberbatch and I think we were dating. We drove through a small southern town, and I could tell where the queer kids hung out. A bar and a hair salon and a gas station, with 80's goth queer kids hanging out in front, smoking and drinking. On one hand, I was envious that these queers knew just where to go to meet people like themselves, but on the other hand I recognized how few of them were in that small town and how isolated they must feel. We drove along a high way at night. The person shifted from looking like Benedict Cumberbatch, to looking like W., to looking like A., and then finally looking like a combination of all three of them. I told him that I wasn't good at dancing. When a song came on the radio, he pulled over on the side of the highway and left the car door open so that the music could be heard outside. On the side of the road at night, he rested his hands on the small of my back and we danced slowly. The roadtrip (and the dream) ended with us sitting in a forest clearing, dressed in togas, watching a production of "A Midsummer Night's Dream."


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6 years ago
Hot Damn!

hot damn!

These Are My Breasts And Nipples, Complete With Acne, Moles, And Hair. Will This Image Violate Tumblr’s

These are my breasts and nipples, complete with acne, moles, and hair. Will this image violate tumblr’s new content rules?

Examples of exceptions that are still permitted are exposed female-presenting nipples in connection with breastfeeding, birth or after-birth moments, and health-related situations, such as post-mastectomy or gender confirmation surgery.

I am a transgender man. I have not had the opportunity or the money to have top surgery. I am excruciatingly aware that the “gender presentation” of my nipples is in the eye of the beholder. Disconnected from the context of the rest of my body and gendered presentation, they look like “female-presenting” nipples. Hell, there are plenty of cisgender women with more chest hair than me.

Are we going to determine the “gender presentation” of my nipples based on my legal gender? That’s debatable too. My most recent legal IDs list my gender as “male,” but my birth certificate lists my gender as “female.” I cannot change the gender on my birth certificate without going back to the state where I was born and getting an order from a judge, and paying a fee. Until I have the time to and money to do that, there will always be at least one legal document where I am still considered female.  

Written content such as erotica, nudity related to political or newsworthy speech, and nudity found in art, such as sculptures and illustrations, are also stuff that can be freely posted on Tumblr.

I would say this painting has artistic merit, at the very least from a technical standpoint. I’m sure there are plenty of people who would see no artistic merit in this painting, regardless of technical skill. The line between “nudity found in art” and “adult content” is as indistinct as the line between “naked” and “nude.” Tumblr and Facebook’s new policies stem from SESTA/FOSTA [LINK] and corporate monopolies [LINK].

Policies meant to curtail sex work always hurt more than they help, whether the sex work is voluntary, coerced, or forced. Example: NYC, LA, San Francisco, and Washington D.C. have all had/have laws that allow possession of multiple condoms to be considered evidence of prostitution, resulting in arrest or the confiscation of the condoms. So, no safe sex if you’re doing sex work, I guess?

Policies like these disproportionately effect people and communities who are viewed as being “inherently sexual” or “overly sexual.” Facebook’s overzealous new policy prohibits reference to “sexual preferences.” I will bet money that policy won’t be enforced when a cis het man makes a status update about “I like girls with [insert physical attribute here],” but it will be enforced when a queer person refers to a top, a bottom, a switch, a Daddy, a [insert relational attribute here].

As to what constitutes art and how that concept gets weaponized against LGBTQ people (and other oppressed groups, I’d argue), just read about the history of conservative loathing for the National Endowment for the Arts [LINK].

I don’t think my little protest painting will make tumblr and their corporate overlords change their minds. But I couldn’t not express my opinion on this.

I don’t know if this blog will get flagged or deleted or whatever. I’ll keep using tumblr until I no longer have a reason to. But, just in case, I’ll be setting up a pillowfort, and maybe a poizen. In the meantime, you can keep up with my shitpost tweets HERE.


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8 years ago

am about to read preacher: is there any heads up yall want to give me before i dive in? i tried searching online and didnt see any post related to my Q so hope am not being annoying

If you sent me a question about Preacher, I haven’t received it. Maybe tumblr ate the message?So, not knowing what your question is specifically, general content warnings for Preacher that I would give are lots and lots of explicit violence, drug and alcohol abuse, rape, domestic violence, child abuse, referenced/off-screen bestiality and pedophilia, use of racial slurs, religiously motivated child abuse, basically all characters that experience same-gender attraction are in some way evil, and there is a huge lack of people of color in any capacity. Oh, and lots of blasphemy, if that’s a problem for you.


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10 years ago
Roycevomit Said: This Looks Finished To Me, It’s Really Beautiful Regardless.

roycevomit said: this looks finished to me, it’s really beautiful regardless.

Awh! Thank you.

That's one of the things that I really like about your art -- you seem to know exactly when to stop. Your pieces aren't overworked or fussy, they feel straightforward.

I have a hard time stopping on my pieces. I keep working them until I look at them and go "Shit, I should have stopped, like, 8 changes ago." I've been trying to work on that, giving myself "assignments" or guidelines designed to limit my obsessiveness.

For instance, in the painting that I'm working on right now, I'm not allowing myself to use brown or black. That means I can only get a certain level of shadows and depth in the image, so that's one thing that I'm not stressing about.


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9 years ago

Dreamed that I opened a book an there were beetles hiding in the pages. I turned the page and there was a snake. I flipped the book over but the snake came at me. I grabbed it’s tail and smashed it against the wall but it wouldn’t die. I wrapped it up in plastic bags to suffocate it but I could feel its body thrashing. I felt terrible. I didn’t want to prolong its suffering but I didn’t want it to hurt me.

Dreamed that there was a tornado outside the house. Everything was dark and the whole house was shaking and when I looked out the window, I could see the tail of the tornado dragging down the road. I lay down on my stomach and put my hands over the back of my head. My grandmother walked through the dark and shaking house as if nothing were wrong.


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4 years ago
My First Rigid Heddle Loom Weaving! It’s Around 6 Feet Long.
My First Rigid Heddle Loom Weaving! It’s Around 6 Feet Long.
My First Rigid Heddle Loom Weaving! It’s Around 6 Feet Long.
My First Rigid Heddle Loom Weaving! It’s Around 6 Feet Long.
My First Rigid Heddle Loom Weaving! It’s Around 6 Feet Long.
My First Rigid Heddle Loom Weaving! It’s Around 6 Feet Long.
My First Rigid Heddle Loom Weaving! It’s Around 6 Feet Long.

My first rigid heddle loom weaving! It’s around 6 feet long.


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9 years ago
Shout Out To Redangusart For Talking Me Through My Hissy Fit About The Neck In This Painting.

Shout out to redangusart for talking me through my hissy fit about the neck in this painting.

Also check out his art.

My Etsy: LINK / My Ko-Fi: LINK


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3 years ago
Pages 8 And 9
Pages 8 And 9

Pages 8 and 9

Next pages

Previous pages

First page here

Find me around the web on my Carrd: LINK / Drop a tip in my Ko-fi: LINK


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1 year ago

Reblogging my own work for combo Easter/Trans Day of Visibility

Ecce Homo

Ecce Homo

18x24, acrylic paint on cardboard, 2024

This painting, one of my figure studies, my comic book "Act Well Your Part" and my two zines, "Slap Your Cheeks For Color" and "Step Out Into Your Short Shorts," will be on display and available for purchase at "Slip Gallery.

Opening reception is March 8th, 6-9pm, and a closing reception will be held on March 30th, 7-9pm.


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6 years ago
These Are My Breasts And Nipples, Complete With Acne, Moles, And Hair. Will This Image Violate Tumblr’s

These are my breasts and nipples, complete with acne, moles, and hair. Will this image violate tumblr’s new content rules?

Examples of exceptions that are still permitted are exposed female-presenting nipples in connection with breastfeeding, birth or after-birth moments, and health-related situations, such as post-mastectomy or gender confirmation surgery.

I am a transgender man. I have not had the opportunity or the money to have top surgery. I am excruciatingly aware that the “gender presentation” of my nipples is in the eye of the beholder. Disconnected from the context of the rest of my body and gendered presentation, they look like “female-presenting” nipples. Hell, there are plenty of cisgender women with more chest hair than me.

Are we going to determine the “gender presentation” of my nipples based on my legal gender? That’s debatable too. My most recent legal IDs list my gender as “male,” but my birth certificate lists my gender as “female.” I cannot change the gender on my birth certificate without going back to the state where I was born and getting an order from a judge, and paying a fee. Until I have the time to and money to do that, there will always be at least one legal document where I am still considered female.  

Written content such as erotica, nudity related to political or newsworthy speech, and nudity found in art, such as sculptures and illustrations, are also stuff that can be freely posted on Tumblr.

I would say this painting has artistic merit, at the very least from a technical standpoint. I’m sure there are plenty of people who would see no artistic merit in this painting, regardless of technical skill. The line between “nudity found in art” and “adult content” is as indistinct as the line between “naked” and “nude.” Tumblr and Facebook’s new policies stem from SESTA/FOSTA [LINK] and corporate monopolies [LINK].

Policies meant to curtail sex work always hurt more than they help, whether the sex work is voluntary, coerced, or forced. Example: NYC, LA, San Francisco, and Washington D.C. have all had/have laws that allow possession of multiple condoms to be considered evidence of prostitution, resulting in arrest or the confiscation of the condoms. So, no safe sex if you're doing sex work, I guess?

Policies like these disproportionately effect people and communities who are viewed as being "inherently sexual" or "overly sexual." Facebook's overzealous new policy prohibits reference to "sexual preferences." I will bet money that policy won't be enforced when a cis het man makes a status update about "I like girls with [insert physical attribute here]," but it will be enforced when a queer person refers to a top, a bottom, a switch, a Daddy, a [insert relational attribute here].

As to what constitutes art and how that concept gets weaponized against LGBTQ people (and other oppressed groups, I'd argue), just read about the history of conservative loathing for the National Endowment for the Arts [LINK].

I don't think my little protest painting will make tumblr and their corporate overlords change their minds. But I couldn't not express my opinion on this.

I don't know if this blog will get flagged or deleted or whatever. I'll keep using tumblr until I no longer have a reason to. But, just in case, I'll be setting up a pillowfort, and maybe a poizen. In the meantime, you can keep up with my shitpost tweets HERE.


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panic-volkushka - Art by Panic Volkushka
Art by Panic Volkushka

Hello, my name is Panic. Find my other links on my Carrd

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