Help Needed For A Novel Concept.

(spoilers for TSH)

A certain aspect of the secret history I think about to this day is how accurate it is when it comes to public outrage, especially for it's time. When I am with others and they turn on the TV to watch television (personally, I avoid the news.) I am horrified by the tragedies that are portrayed.

But only for a few seconds.

The horrible events displayed on the screen are cocaine - their impact is strong, yet short lived. Swiftly the journalist moves on to the next topic, feeding me media until I puke.

When I watch the news, I think about the Hampden college students. I think about how much they cared, and how it wasn't enough.

Stay yourself, stay curious

Just clearing any confusion - this is not a safe space for pro ana accounts. As a person struggling with an ED, my blog will NEVER tolerate the romanticization and normalization of any type of ED. Mental illness is not to be desired, it's awful, and it does not make a person anything other than miserable.

Stay YOURSELF. Stay curious

// TW bullimia regarding Reva from ''my year of rest and relaxation "

Reva is bullimic and Jewish. If you say the word 'Reva' with a Hebrew tonation, it sounds like the word 'Re-e-va' , which means 'hungry' in female form.

A fun little Hebrew fact of the day.

fuck haman and his dumbass hat long live jews

My literature professor agreed to teach the class ''white nights'' per my request.

I am far more than pleased.

Stay yourself, stay curious

I scream that, and then wonder why no one will go out with me

I FUCKING HATE MEN!!!!!! I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHUT UP!!!!!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK!

BLACK SWAN - THE UNREWARDING CHASE AFTER PERFECTION

Tw: bulimia, self-harm, sexual assault, body horror

''Black swan'', directed by Darren Aronofsky, is a 2010 film. It deals with our main character, Nina, a ballerina which gets picked for the role of both The white swan and The black swan in a production of "Swan lake", but as she is urged by her artistic director to 'lose herself' her sanity crumbles before her. In this post I'd like to address the themes, motifs, character development, and what black swan made me feel, because I find art is about emotions.

★ SWAN LAKE ANALOGY

The story of "Swan lake" is a direct analogy most readers can pick up on during their watch of Black swan and I'd like to highlight some thoughts of mine on the parallels between the two.

" virginal girl, pure and sweet, trapped

in the body of a swan. She desires

freedom, but only true love can

break the spell. Her wish was

granted in the form of a prince.

But before he can declare his love,

her lustful twin, the Black Swan,

tricks and seduces him.

Devastated, the White Swan leaps

off a cliff, killing herself. But,

in death, finds freedom. " - Leroy

This recounting of "Swan lake" is a basic synopsis of the movie Black swan. Nina is perfect, and she finds this need for perfection a prison. We see her eat half a fruit for breakfast, spend all her time in the company, and put mountains of effort into every step she takes. This is exactly Nina's downfall - if Leroy was right about one thing it's that perfection is inherently imperfect. It's messy and dirty and full of mistakes, because perfect is expected.

Nina believes her 'freedom' will come in the form of Leroy, that he can cultivate her into the girl she was destined to be, and sees Lily as her doppelganger - an evil xerox who wishes to steal her only answer away from her. Nina is mistaken, and actually her mistake falls perfectly into the plot of Swan lake - she mixes up the roles. Lily is much closer to the prince in the sense she allows Nina to be herself. She genuinely desires to see Nina succeed and yet doesn't believe that Nina should torture herself to perfection. Although it's difficult to distinguish between reality and illusion during the film, when the credits roll, I think we all know who's the twin, who's the swan, and who's the prince.

★ THE THEORY OF ART

Nietzche (😒...) Coined the terms 'dyonisian' and 'apollonian' in his book, Birth Of Tragedy. The Dyonisian is the tendency for freedom - pleasure, lack of thinking, impulse. The Apollonian is the tendency for structure - order, planning, perfecting. Nietzche claims that good art is the balance between the two, you can't be overly obsessive over detail nor carelessly creating.

Nina is Apollonian. She is so invested in being the perfect dancer she loses what made her good in the first place - her love for the profession, her daintiness, her emotional connection to pieces. Throughout the movie, we see how obsessive Nina becomes with perfection as her bulimia gets worse, she grows suspicious of her peers, and eventually resorts (does she...?) to murder for her sake. Truly, Nina couldn't balance art because she couldn't let herself go, and only when she did her performance was perfect.

Black swan made me unnerved. As an artist, it's truly an enthralling experience seeing a young woman shred herself to bits trying to be perfect. I almost cried when Nina forced herself to puke the nothing she ate, because it's an amazing metaphor; trying to use up something that is not there. I think about black swan from time to time, and I realize that Nina isn't perfect - she was. She was her best when she loved dance. When she lived living . When she loved herself.

Stay yourself, stay curious

Consuming depressing media for me is more of a learning experience and less something I indulge in to associate myself with the characters... I learn from their faults and take with me their experiences. I hope this helped.

I have a question for people who read Russian literature and are happy.

How the fuck do you do this

My mother stating she'll have me date anyone BUT a cop is a major factor in why she is, and I'm saying this after great research, the best.

I write my poetry in Hebrew and it's so sad I can't show it to you all 💔

Stay yourself, stay curious

Cr: belladonna on Pinterest