‎

it’s ween

"Read Banned Books" a new full page cartoon essay published in The New York Times Arts & Leisure section today.

NO! DONT TURN THAT WHITE BOY INTO A TWINK! DRAW HIM AS THE BEAUTIFUL FAT MAN HE IS!!

Okay so I like DnD and yesterday my buddy and I got started on a backrooms themed campaign (I was allowed/supposed to be alone for this part so the other party members weren't necessary) and apparently I just picked every option that noped me the fuck out of danger every time.

The DM was trying to get me to open a hole in the floor to open the void (or level -1) and I just. Didn't.

They described an almond water cooler a little too suspiciously for my taste, so I skipped it and came to a fork in the endless hallways, where I heard a baby crying on my left and a woman screaming on my right, so I just went back to the water cooler.

After having my drink I went back to the fork, where both annoying human(?) noises had stopped so I just looked around and saw a door that ended up leading to a ladder and went up that for apparently 15 minutes before seeing another door that lead to a water cooler again and had another drink of almond water.

I returned to the ladder which seemed to distress the DM so I figured I was doing the right thing in player terms.

I eventually got to Level 1 and was told there was a water fountain a mile away, which my usually mathematically inclined DM estimated that I could make it in 10 minutes if I ran. Mind you a specific description of my character boils down to a mechanic that's built like a pole. I said fuck it and did a dead sprint, and about halfway there I saw a Hound that luckily didn't notice me and I got my drink.

Yeah I did the usual player thing of doing whatever the hell the DM didn't plan for.

Then at almost 10 AM I message my DM:

So yeah, one of my first DnD sessions went pretty good.

“can mutuals dm you?” my mutuals can fire me from a cannon through a brick wall, looney tunes style. as long as we’re all having fun

Listening to the Marvin's Marvelous Mechanical Museum cassette is all fine and dandy until you get to the end of Hidden In The Sand and the prolonged silence lets you feel safe and then Mucka Blucka catches you like a baseball to the teeth

2024 MANDATE

Do NOT. Do not. DO NOT buy fake leather

Pirate everything. Burn cds. Fight the cloud

PHYSICAL MEDIA

Tip food service workers crazy style

Smile at yr bus driver

Wear more eyeliner

Read superhero comic books

Paint more blood and gore

See saw xi in theaters

DIY OR DIE

Draw messy

LIVE MUSIC

remember that old panic at the disco is good truly

Tell people you love them

Stompy boots

My Chemical Romance

Assault a customer at your retail job

Write that weird fanfic

Watch every vampire movie ever made

Wear that crop top

Start a fire

Listen to music made by angry women

Remember that you are fucking alive and do whatever you want

Hey Tumblr guess who's back with a full Be More Chill obsession

Completely and entirely spurred on by my best friend- and now partner- who I'm now slowly pulling down the path of becoming a theatre kid

Thanks to my aforementioned partner, boyf riends is now something I actively seek on AO3 and I have a heightened love for red slushies and everything that makes me the nerd I am.

I'm healing the long forgotten theatre kid in me

LIKE TO CHARGE REBLOG TO CAST LET'S GET THIS FUCKER EXPLODEDED

in the google doc. straight up "writing it". and by "it", haha, well. let's justr say. Nothing