Jesus What The Fuck

Being a Halsin fan is....a unique experience in that you're frequently prone towards running into all sorts of taunts and insults from being called "mentally ill" for liking him because people assume you're into his "deviant behavior" to hearing that there's only "7 romances" because he doesn't count, to hearing that he's a sex pest, constant reminders of how players kill him in a feedback or fan thread about him, him being seen as fit for only being left as "Orin bait" by a few Astarion fans (who hate him because they see him as a sex pest) when I'm meanwhile turning Astarion down only to run into Astarion canonically admitting that he sees Tav's denial of consent as a "dire mistake to be corrected":

Or, frequently running into complaints as to why he's there when Jaheira is around for the Druid role (he was around first so it's clear why they're not acknowledging that).

"He's just fanservice that didn't need to be there! Why can't we have Alfira?!"

"We could have had a werewolf instead of him?! Wasted opportunity!" (Fans datamined that and discovered that Helia was dropped long before they added Halsin so it wasn't a toss up between them that fans think)

"He's a cheater trying to get you to cheat!"

Ironically, another fan found a post that not only was this wrong, Shadowheart and Astarion approve of the player sexually harassing a married NPC:

His point and click lines have still not been fixed despite requests to address them for months now.

Requests for more depth from his days in Early Access has not happened.

Pleas to Larian to please fix the writing that has him making fans uncomfortable has only just now been addressed but the damage has been done.

I see all these moments that get other characters amusement and affection while seeing Halsin vilified for stuff that doesn't even happen. I see acknowledgement that Gale's Weave scene was a bug, Wyll's dance scene where you couldn't avoid him trying to kiss you as "not a big deal" (until they were corrected) and I agree, that's exactly what they were: unintended side effects of poorly thought out writing/coding/scripting.

And yet, Halsin's presence has to be justified every step of the way.

There is so little sympathy for this character. So little sympathy for fans of this character. It even feels like Larian wrote him off when their attempt to make him a companion backfired.

I'm not even sure why fans want more romances added when this one ended with such hostility. I'd rather they fix and expand on the current romances like Wyll's, Minthara's and, yes, Halsin's (he does count as a romance).

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: the hate Halsin gets is confusing and undeserved.

Generally, it depends. Luth's been taught that it's usually a bad idea to show something got to her so going quiet is her default response until she can decide what to do with the offender. Some generic asshole looking for a response? Dismiss and ignore as the companions and her have more pressing matters to deal with. Can't ignore it? 18 Charisma makes for some effective threats and warnings.

Threatening their lives however? She'll burn several sorcery slots to make a point. Good luck dodging 3 ice storms.

Tav Question

How does your Tav express their anger?

There are a couple more Garrus-Vakarian-related hills I'm willing to die on.

Maybe this particular bit of fanon has faded over the years, but there used to be a lot of insistence that Garrus is young and somehow inexperienced when he meets Shepard. Canon doesn't really support this. Turians start their mandatory service at 15. Garrus has at least a decade of experience. Even if he's 2-4 of years younger than Shepard (according to Patrick Weekes), he's got at least as much field experience as she does by dint of the difference in turian and human "enlistment" ages.

Garrus is really damn good at his job at C-Sec. You don't give the Case of Investigating the Rogue Spectre to a greenhorn. You give it to your best, most tenacious agent. Pallin may not always approve of Garrus's actions, but that doesn't actually stop him from putting Garrus on the tough case. Also, we don't know much about how C-Sec works but we do know a bit about how the turian hierarchy works, and we know C-Sec was essentially a turian initiative. That means it's a meritocracy where failure reflects on the superior, not the one who failed. So, in roughly a decade (Shepard's 29 in ME1; I always think of Garrus as about 27), Garrus has not only done shipboard military service, but he's also risen to be one of C-Sec's top investigators; Pallin wouldn't risk having Garrus's "failure" reflect poorly on HIM otherwise. I'd say that actually makes Garrus as remarkable in civilian law enforcement terms as Shepard is considered to be within the ranks of the Alliance military.

Of course Garrus was scouted by the Spectre program. And honestly, if his dad hadn't stepped in, I think Garrus would have become a Spectre, no problem. Especially for a turian, he's cut from precisely the cloth the Spectres would be looking for: extremely skilled, extremely capable, and--most importantly--he's a turian not just able but willing to work outside the chains of command that turians are taught from birth to revere and be loyal to above all else. This is the reason Pallin is leery about Spectres: he's a good turian. Good turians follow straight lines; they don't carve out their own paths.

Garrus's dad's not dumb, and he's not cruel, and he, too, rose to the top of the C-Sec hierarchy. He took one look at his kid, I think, and said, "I love my child, but I'd say it's a 50-50 chance he ends up a shooting-first-asking-questions-later Spectre like Saren Arterius, and I don't want to see that happen." Yeah, he uses his parental influence to try and jam square-peg-Garrus into round-hole-C-Sec and Garrus resents him for it, but there's no way he did it just to stop his son from getting his way or because he doesn't like Spectres. I expect Vakarian Sr. had to clean up more post-Spectre-interference messes than we can possibly imagine. But we also know he and Alec Ryder were pals later.

So the importance of what Garrus learns from a Paragon Spectre Shepard is this: You can't just do what you want and claim the ends always justify the means. That's what Saren does. Over and over again. Garrus's code and his idealism and his sense of justice and his ability to work alone should make him a great Spectre, actually, but he needs Paragon Spectre Shepard's actions to show him the lesson he tells her he's learned during ME1: "If the people I'm sworn to protect can't trust me... well, then I don't deserve to be the one protecting them." (And the seed of Archangel was planted.) I think for the first time he realizes that even though he believes his sense of justice to be correct, it doesn't matter for shit if he can't show others why that's so. And that's where the trust comes in. (Also, ow, the extra level of importance this gives their exchange where she tells him she trusts him and he tells her she's about the only friend he has left is... a lot. Cool, cool. I'm totally fine. Nothing to see here.)

When Shepard asks him what happened on Omega, he replies, "My feelings got in the way of my better judgement." Something tells me that this never happens to "good" turians, which just makes the line so much more devastating. And although the lesson some might take away from this is "feelings bad; no feelings ever," the "grey" that Garrus has to learn to deal with is precisely the grey of recognizing feelings, validating them even, but not acting on them until they've been examined. (Which is why my Shepard stands between him and Sidonis; she doesn't give a shit about Sidonis. But Garrus has refused to process his own feelings of failure and self-loathing, so they have to take the therapy session to the Citadel and deal with it there.)

Ahh yes. The mountain range of character analysis.

-Give him content in ME3. Not this token effort that we all saw was just a way of saying, "Of course we didn't forget all your teammates!" Players should have had the option to pick who they wanted on their team for a certain number of teammate slots.

-His script should never have been butchered to make assumptions on behalf of the player. That's what that infamous Femshep greeting came off as: Bioware thinking we'd be so hot to trot for a character we never even got the chance to get to know. His line about how the Normandy is Shepard's love REALLY rubbed people the wrong way.

-Seriously, more effort should have been put into Jacob's story. He should have been part of the main story, trying to take down the Illusive Man after seeing all that madness. Jacob's original writing that had him proactive and seeking to do some actual good would have meant that he'd have been as tenacious in setting things right by bringing karma onto the Illusive Man for misleading him.

how i‘d rewrite jacob to make him a more likable squadmate:

• femshep‘s interactions with jacob would sound normal. none of them would sound flirtatious unless shepard is actually pursuing a romance with jacob.

• if you dump jacob for garrus, cut out the line where he calls garrus a cuttlebone. jacob is supposed the be the nice, good guy, the one who gives cerberus a good image, not some racist prick who uses first contact slur. this move was especially bad since garrus is a trusted squadmate! really, bioware? an easy way to make a character hated is to make home insult a character that is that popular among players.

• don‘t make him say „miranda deserves a better man“ in regards to his past relationship to miranda, and then have him be able to romance shepard. that makes it seem as if he is still head over heels for miranda but settling for shepard, who he thinks doesn‘t deserve a better man.. unlike miranda. cut out that line.

• leave out the ‚heavy risk but the priize‘ line. it‘s so dumb. it objectifies shepard and it‘s just cringy.

• he‘s supposed to be the nice guy yet miranda is more polite than he is. jacob should not be saying he is not in the mood to talk; he should be more open towards shepard

• let us find out more about his past life. he was a privatee with the corsairs, what was that like? also where did he grow up, which colony? why did he join the alliance? how long has he been with cerberus and how did he come to join them exactly? how did he find out about the organization?

• for his romance, make it a serious romance, not some hook up. give jacob and shepard a movie night date on the normandy in the starboard port and have them watch blasto and have us learn jacob has seen all the blasto movies. or have jacob play videogames with shepard. giving him a little of a nerdy side would have make him much cooler.

• to make him more sympathetic, write jacob as being the one who helped jack get the coordinates of teltin facility. after the confrontation between jack and miranda, jacob felt so awful that he decided to help jack sort through the files so she could get the coordinates of that place and nuke it. this would actually prove he is that kind hearted nice man he was supposed to be

• have him apologize to thane at some point, saying he was wrong about him. this would‘ve been a pretty great opportunity to give jacob some small character development

• don‘t have him cheat on femshep, most importantly.

Lrb, I would also argue that Larian expected us to romance Halsin as a joke, what with how late in the game the romance occurs and how much emphasis the marketing put on the bear scene.

Thinking about Halsin coping with the stress of the city through sex with Tav, trying to soothe his ravaged nerves by burying his nose into their neck until their scent drives out the unwelcome reminders of death in the streets, of unwashed bodies and pollution toxins in the air. Thinking about him seeking comfort in their warmth, of wanting them clasped around his arousal until he and they are mindlessly driving each through another orgasm, his hands splintering and cracking the edges of the wooden table holding Tav's weight because nothing of this artificial world can withstand his strength. How the patches of greenery and trees make his longing worse because it reminds him of the world he wants to share with Tav, to hold them close so they can hear the birdsong that's not here in this crowded hell and feel the moonlight he would have summoned to bathe them both in at night. Halsin holding Tav a bit more tightly, a bit longer than they usually would have, deciding that one more dive, one more taste of his dazed lover's body will give him the peace he needs to endure another day until their mission is done. And all the while, Tav is unaware of the comfort he's taking into their presence, seeing them as an unspoken dream he has no right to ask for, his selfish need for them manifesting as desperate passion each night.

collection of useful things tumblr has taught me:

even if you can't fall asleep, laying down with your eyes closed will still rest your body

you don't have to brush your teeth standing up

you don't have to do any chore standing up, from dishes to showering

you don't have to shower with the lights on

if you can't brush your teeth, flossing and a tongue scraper gets rid of plaque and bad breath

if you can't do that, mouthwash kills a lot of bacteria

eating "unhealthy" food is better than eating no food

you can make the same meal everyday for however long you still want it

some pills come in syrups or chewables if you can't swallow them

kids nutritional shakes can be a quick way to get fuel if you can't eat/don't have time

if walking hurts/exhausts you on a regular basis, canes and rollers are for you, no matter how young you are

we have free will—if doing something "out of the ordinary" makes life easier for you, do it

In case anyone wanted to read the fic this post was talking about

Baseado em uma one shot que eu li recentemente. Esqueci de postar aqui ksksk