A Non-selective Plan For The Resurgence Of Fic Commissions

Being a Halsin fan is....a unique experience in that you're frequently prone towards running into all sorts of taunts and insults from being called "mentally ill" for liking him because people assume you're into his "deviant behavior" to hearing that there's only "7 romances" because he doesn't count, to hearing that he's a sex pest, constant reminders of how players kill him in a feedback or fan thread about him, him being seen as fit for only being left as "Orin bait" by a few Astarion fans (who hate him because they see him as a sex pest) when I'm meanwhile turning Astarion down only to run into Astarion canonically admitting that he sees Tav's denial of consent as a "dire mistake to be corrected":

Or, frequently running into complaints as to why he's there when Jaheira is around for the Druid role (he was around first so it's clear why they're not acknowledging that).

"He's just fanservice that didn't need to be there! Why can't we have Alfira?!"

"We could have had a werewolf instead of him?! Wasted opportunity!" (Fans datamined that and discovered that Helia was dropped long before they added Halsin so it wasn't a toss up between them that fans think)

"He's a cheater trying to get you to cheat!"

Ironically, another fan found a post that not only was this wrong, Shadowheart and Astarion approve of the player sexually harassing a married NPC:

His point and click lines have still not been fixed despite requests to address them for months now.

Requests for more depth from his days in Early Access has not happened.

Pleas to Larian to please fix the writing that has him making fans uncomfortable has only just now been addressed but the damage has been done.

I see all these moments that get other characters amusement and affection while seeing Halsin vilified for stuff that doesn't even happen. I see acknowledgement that Gale's Weave scene was a bug, Wyll's dance scene where you couldn't avoid him trying to kiss you as "not a big deal" (until they were corrected) and I agree, that's exactly what they were: unintended side effects of poorly thought out writing/coding/scripting.

And yet, Halsin's presence has to be justified every step of the way.

There is so little sympathy for this character. So little sympathy for fans of this character. It even feels like Larian wrote him off when their attempt to make him a companion backfired.

I'm not even sure why fans want more romances added when this one ended with such hostility. I'd rather they fix and expand on the current romances like Wyll's, Minthara's and, yes, Halsin's (he does count as a romance).

I cannot believe there's absolutely no way to watch free shows and movies anymore, there are too many paid streaming platforms and pirating websites have viruses and ads preventing you from watching it uninterrupted((.)) id rather follow the rules and purchase media moving forward because it is too inconvenient. Seriously, free and no ads or viruses with 1080p streaming is DEAD.

seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors

Unmute !

There are a couple more Garrus-Vakarian-related hills I'm willing to die on.

Maybe this particular bit of fanon has faded over the years, but there used to be a lot of insistence that Garrus is young and somehow inexperienced when he meets Shepard. Canon doesn't really support this. Turians start their mandatory service at 15. Garrus has at least a decade of experience. Even if he's 2-4 of years younger than Shepard (according to Patrick Weekes), he's got at least as much field experience as she does by dint of the difference in turian and human "enlistment" ages.

Garrus is really damn good at his job at C-Sec. You don't give the Case of Investigating the Rogue Spectre to a greenhorn. You give it to your best, most tenacious agent. Pallin may not always approve of Garrus's actions, but that doesn't actually stop him from putting Garrus on the tough case. Also, we don't know much about how C-Sec works but we do know a bit about how the turian hierarchy works, and we know C-Sec was essentially a turian initiative. That means it's a meritocracy where failure reflects on the superior, not the one who failed. So, in roughly a decade (Shepard's 29 in ME1; I always think of Garrus as about 27), Garrus has not only done shipboard military service, but he's also risen to be one of C-Sec's top investigators; Pallin wouldn't risk having Garrus's "failure" reflect poorly on HIM otherwise. I'd say that actually makes Garrus as remarkable in civilian law enforcement terms as Shepard is considered to be within the ranks of the Alliance military.

Of course Garrus was scouted by the Spectre program. And honestly, if his dad hadn't stepped in, I think Garrus would have become a Spectre, no problem. Especially for a turian, he's cut from precisely the cloth the Spectres would be looking for: extremely skilled, extremely capable, and--most importantly--he's a turian not just able but willing to work outside the chains of command that turians are taught from birth to revere and be loyal to above all else. This is the reason Pallin is leery about Spectres: he's a good turian. Good turians follow straight lines; they don't carve out their own paths.

Garrus's dad's not dumb, and he's not cruel, and he, too, rose to the top of the C-Sec hierarchy. He took one look at his kid, I think, and said, "I love my child, but I'd say it's a 50-50 chance he ends up a shooting-first-asking-questions-later Spectre like Saren Arterius, and I don't want to see that happen." Yeah, he uses his parental influence to try and jam square-peg-Garrus into round-hole-C-Sec and Garrus resents him for it, but there's no way he did it just to stop his son from getting his way or because he doesn't like Spectres. I expect Vakarian Sr. had to clean up more post-Spectre-interference messes than we can possibly imagine. But we also know he and Alec Ryder were pals later.

So the importance of what Garrus learns from a Paragon Spectre Shepard is this: You can't just do what you want and claim the ends always justify the means. That's what Saren does. Over and over again. Garrus's code and his idealism and his sense of justice and his ability to work alone should make him a great Spectre, actually, but he needs Paragon Spectre Shepard's actions to show him the lesson he tells her he's learned during ME1: "If the people I'm sworn to protect can't trust me... well, then I don't deserve to be the one protecting them." (And the seed of Archangel was planted.) I think for the first time he realizes that even though he believes his sense of justice to be correct, it doesn't matter for shit if he can't show others why that's so. And that's where the trust comes in. (Also, ow, the extra level of importance this gives their exchange where she tells him she trusts him and he tells her she's about the only friend he has left is... a lot. Cool, cool. I'm totally fine. Nothing to see here.)

When Shepard asks him what happened on Omega, he replies, "My feelings got in the way of my better judgement." Something tells me that this never happens to "good" turians, which just makes the line so much more devastating. And although the lesson some might take away from this is "feelings bad; no feelings ever," the "grey" that Garrus has to learn to deal with is precisely the grey of recognizing feelings, validating them even, but not acting on them until they've been examined. (Which is why my Shepard stands between him and Sidonis; she doesn't give a shit about Sidonis. But Garrus has refused to process his own feelings of failure and self-loathing, so they have to take the therapy session to the Citadel and deal with it there.)

Ahh yes. The mountain range of character analysis.

Actually, I do think it's an interesting topic talking about other biotics and how their development would be affected. Since people are comparing biotic abilities, why wouldn't other examples be used?

Is there some sort of forbiddence on people adding to the discussion that helps round out what makes someone more "powerful" than an Asari? Does only raw power matter or should versatility be included? We see Jack using her biotics to leap over enemies and yank the guards into the air with her momentum. We've seen Samara yank a skycar back to herself biotically. We've seen Kaidan admit he can't float down like Falere nor have the minutae of control to unlatch a hatch on the other side.

I'm never really certain what exactly people mean when they say Kaidan is as/more powerful than an Asari. Does that mean he can overpower someone like Morinth even though he says he'd be a goner to an Ardat Yakshi? Can he punch down a YMIR and keep running? Cutscenes of him make that hard to guess because his biotic abilities are rarely ever demonstrated if they're acknowledged.

Mass Effect really just left out the part about Kaidan being as strong and powerful as an Asari when it comes to his biotics. I had to find that out from google and I don’t remember it being mentioned in the game that a Kaidan is actually that powerful. Like I knew he was powerful and skilled but I didn’t know he was Asari level. I don’t know if I just missed that information or what

He’s literally the perfect man oh my god. I couldn’t ask for another. Why is he so perfect ? And like not meaning to shade Ashley but it makes me want to choose Kaidan over her more because he seems to be more of a valuable asset than her with his biotics.

A kiss in Bloomington Park

Apparently people thing Halsin is....problemati?????

How do you think Ghoulcy would’ve went down if she had been there pre-war and they met?👉🏻👈🏻 (assuming this is after he’s separated from barb)

Thanks for your patience on this one, babe. I tried to go more general with the response, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I actually have a fairly specific vision for how these two would have ended up meeting in a pre-war world...

Naturally, I think a Lucy from that era would be from somewhere in the middle-of-nowhere Midwest. Vault 33 is sort of supposed to be in/reminiscent of Nebraska based on the projected images of the corn field and everything, right? She'd grow up somewhere dinky, but not too small; big enough to have a few nice amenities and a tight community that adores her and her prominent father. But, much like we see in the show before her dad's exodus from the Vault prompts her to leave, she'd be restless and always secretly pondering what else could be out there for her. Dreaming of the sun on her face, so to speak.

She'd be restless from early on in her youth, from around the time of her mother's death, and no matter how hard she works trying to force herself to feel at peace, she never truly does. Maybe she goes to an in-state college to get her degree when the time comes, gets a small taste of the kind of freedom and variety living in a bigger city can provide and falls in love with it just a little bit. When she goes back home, she idealizes moving somewhere different, being literally anywhere else as she feels like her life is sort of passing her by.

Honestly, I think she'd be exactly the kind of twentysomething that decides she wants to move to one of the coasts to shake things up. She's exactly the type to get involved in some sort of internship or shadowing program, since that would provide some sort of protective plan to her desires to strike out on her own. Or maybe she'd just up and move to Los Angeles on a "What else am I doing with my life?" sort of whim, whatever savings she can scrape together hidden away amongst the few personal things she manages to drag halfway across the country with her. If she fails, she can always go back home, but she knows she'll never forgive herself if she doesn't take more risks and live her life properly while she's young.

Besides, she wants to be married some day, and her home-grown options for candidates aren't exactly impressive. All the prettiest people live in L.A., it seems...maybe she'll find her partner there.

Cooper, on the other hand, would be sworn entirely off of dating in the aftermath of the divorce; between the antagonism that lingers between he and Barb, the uphill battle he's fighting trying to revive his career, and his desire to protect Janey from the fallout of both, he doesn't have the time or proper effort to give to a potential partner. Nor does he have the desire, initially. Frankly, he's incredibly broken up about the (necessary) dissolution of a marriage that he thought he'd be part of forever, to the point that he's sort of operating under the assumption that he'll be single the rest of his days. If he weren't famous, he'd probably just pay for some company on the rare occasion he feels "lonely" enough to desire it and keep it to that, but he's too afraid of ending up an even bigger laughing stock than he feels he's already become. He can perfectly picture the headlines in his mind.

Instead, he spends the better part of a year working insane hours, taking pretty much any gig thrown his way and doing everything he can to cut expenses. Every dollar saved goes into a fund he's saving up to take Barb back to court...as well as a significant chunk he's hoping to eventually use to buy up some out-of-the-way property. He's dissatisfied with the custody agreement they reached during the course of the divorce; true, his irregular and sometimes brutal work schedule doesn't make him an ideal primary custodial parent, but he's pretty desperate to spend every second possible with his child, the knowledge that the world could end at any minute looming large over him, casting a dark shadow. Part of him fantasizes about picking her up for his visitation time and simply not returning her, disappearing somewhere safe. He can perfectly picture the headlines about that, too.

It all wears on him. He knows he's getting older, that he needs to be taking care of himself so he can be around for Janey, but between all the work and all the stress, he's drinking more and sleeping less.

The two meet once, maybe on some set Lucy's managed to find her way onto or something similar. She tries her very best to not absolutely swoon over meeting THE Cooper Howard, already embarrassed by her own enthusiasm; Cooper tries his best to be pleasant and charming, exhausted as he usually is. He finds their interaction strangely refreshing, though, and after that it's like he sees her everywhere. Her rather meager savings have run out even quicker than she had anticipated, so, like most non-wealthy people in L.A., she has multiple jobs and works whatever side gigs she can fit into her schedule. Sometimes that leads her back into his path, and he always wants to say hello, to chat and ask her about herself. Who is she to turn him down?

Eventually, he offers to hire her on to work for him, personally, both impressed by her work ethic and feeling rather sympathetic towards her situation (the fact that he thinks she's beautiful certainly doesn't hurt, but he refuses to look those thoughts in the face). He feels bad that he can't really pay her what he'd like to, what he thinks she's actually worth, but it's significantly more than she was already making between all her other jobs, so she's nothing but grateful. At first, she runs personal errands for him, returns calls he's too busy for, helps him schlep all his stuff back and forth when he works the "cowboy for hire"-type gigs.

Cooper greatly enjoys her company, enjoys once more having someone to help him tackle life's everyday struggles. Slowly, he begins to open up to her a little, allowing her to become privy to more of his personal problems. She hasn't met Janey, not yet, but he begins to talk more and more about her. Lucy has such a kind, empathetic nature that it's hard to not spill your guts to her just a bit. Soon, he realizes that he's developing actual feelings for her beyond appreciation for her physical beauty. Typically, he'd be able to see that his feelings are silently reciprocated, but his self-confidence has taken a pretty significant hit over the last couple years, leaving him feeling like an old creep salivating over his young personal assistant.

Fortunately, he manages to hide it well enough, though Lucy is quite preoccupied by her own thoughts, anyway.

Her own attraction to him is soaked in embarrassed guilt, as well; she already sometimes feels like a charity case with as kind as he is to her, so the crush she's developing feels like it could easily be contributed to his caring nature and his largesse. Besides, she had a bit of a crush on him as a girl, as well. He does often make her feel special, something she isn't used to on this level, and she tries to convince herself she's simply been taken in by the glamor of movie star Cooper Howard. However, the more time she spends alone with him, the more she realizes how physically attracted to him she is, as well. It makes her feel silly; what would a very established, famous, attractive older man want with her, some nobody from nowhere? You can't throw a stone in Los Angeles without hitting a gorgeous twenty-something. Surely if he wanted someone young, she tells herself, he'd have someone young, someone with more to bring to the table.

However, their twin denial and negative self-talk isn't enough to hide the way they see one another forever. Too many early mornings and late nights working together make them rather familiar with one another, and soon they're both far too comfortable in the other's presence for things to go unaddressed. They both try to put it off anyway, until things come to an eventual head.

When this happens, they don't so much as agree to give a relationship a try as fall into one another's arms and decide to think about the consequences in the morning.

Unfortunately, their relationship doesn't only progress from this point. Suddenly, Lucy isn't just his young employee who people theorize may be dating him...she is dating him. Before, the idea of Janey meeting her wasn't such a big deal, even if he secretly already had his eye on her; now, he'll be introducing his daughter to his girlfriend, which feels like a much more significant event. He loves being with her, but he's hyper-aware of how he knows people are going to respond if they decide to go public, how Barb is going to respond, and he finds it all overwhelming. Lucy notices his hesitance, but she misreads it as him being embarrassed of her, unwilling to claim her, and it hurts her feelings. He wants her to feel secure and validated, but he also doesn't want to rush things, knowing he isn't only making decisions about his personal future, and that there are consequences she can't possibly wrap her brain around until she really experiences them.

These two would have a fairly significant uphill battle to fight, all factors considered. He isn't as perfect as she may have once thought, and as mature as she may act, she's still lacking in real life experience, which sometimes limits her perspective. However, I think between Cooper's desire for a family and Lucy's desire to find somewhere she really feels like she belongs/is contributing to, they could manage to iron things out. Their life together may not look like every other nuclear family, especially as she supports him in his fight to see Janey more and he convinces her to give his Bakersfield dream some real thought, but life is what you make it!