Ok, So I've Been Giggling Like A Loon For The Past Hour At The Thought Of A Paladin Decked Out In Full

[ Dr. Phil disliked that]

reddit was talking about this, but i feel like tumblr could get a scholarly debate going

A distinct lack of Halsin on my dash lately 🐻😔

This.

Yo, correct me if I am wrong please, but didn't Hitler rise to power because he promised to fix the German economy and people really liked that so they looked past everything else he was doing??? Like exactly what's happening in America right now???

So many people said they voted for Trump, put a truly evil person in power, because he said he'd fix the economy, and a little voice in my head is going, "Isn't that what happened with fucking Hitler??"

But I've seen no one point that out so maybe I'm miss remembering???????

Oh God I'm making another poll

That moment of feeling old when you hear a word you don't recognize and you have no idea if it's an app, a service, a product, a brand or a new slang term, etc....

How do you think Ghoulcy would’ve went down if she had been there pre-war and they met?👉🏻👈🏻 (assuming this is after he’s separated from barb)

Thanks for your patience on this one, babe. I tried to go more general with the response, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I actually have a fairly specific vision for how these two would have ended up meeting in a pre-war world...

Naturally, I think a Lucy from that era would be from somewhere in the middle-of-nowhere Midwest. Vault 33 is sort of supposed to be in/reminiscent of Nebraska based on the projected images of the corn field and everything, right? She'd grow up somewhere dinky, but not too small; big enough to have a few nice amenities and a tight community that adores her and her prominent father. But, much like we see in the show before her dad's exodus from the Vault prompts her to leave, she'd be restless and always secretly pondering what else could be out there for her. Dreaming of the sun on her face, so to speak.

She'd be restless from early on in her youth, from around the time of her mother's death, and no matter how hard she works trying to force herself to feel at peace, she never truly does. Maybe she goes to an in-state college to get her degree when the time comes, gets a small taste of the kind of freedom and variety living in a bigger city can provide and falls in love with it just a little bit. When she goes back home, she idealizes moving somewhere different, being literally anywhere else as she feels like her life is sort of passing her by.

Honestly, I think she'd be exactly the kind of twentysomething that decides she wants to move to one of the coasts to shake things up. She's exactly the type to get involved in some sort of internship or shadowing program, since that would provide some sort of protective plan to her desires to strike out on her own. Or maybe she'd just up and move to Los Angeles on a "What else am I doing with my life?" sort of whim, whatever savings she can scrape together hidden away amongst the few personal things she manages to drag halfway across the country with her. If she fails, she can always go back home, but she knows she'll never forgive herself if she doesn't take more risks and live her life properly while she's young.

Besides, she wants to be married some day, and her home-grown options for candidates aren't exactly impressive. All the prettiest people live in L.A., it seems...maybe she'll find her partner there.

Cooper, on the other hand, would be sworn entirely off of dating in the aftermath of the divorce; between the antagonism that lingers between he and Barb, the uphill battle he's fighting trying to revive his career, and his desire to protect Janey from the fallout of both, he doesn't have the time or proper effort to give to a potential partner. Nor does he have the desire, initially. Frankly, he's incredibly broken up about the (necessary) dissolution of a marriage that he thought he'd be part of forever, to the point that he's sort of operating under the assumption that he'll be single the rest of his days. If he weren't famous, he'd probably just pay for some company on the rare occasion he feels "lonely" enough to desire it and keep it to that, but he's too afraid of ending up an even bigger laughing stock than he feels he's already become. He can perfectly picture the headlines in his mind.

Instead, he spends the better part of a year working insane hours, taking pretty much any gig thrown his way and doing everything he can to cut expenses. Every dollar saved goes into a fund he's saving up to take Barb back to court...as well as a significant chunk he's hoping to eventually use to buy up some out-of-the-way property. He's dissatisfied with the custody agreement they reached during the course of the divorce; true, his irregular and sometimes brutal work schedule doesn't make him an ideal primary custodial parent, but he's pretty desperate to spend every second possible with his child, the knowledge that the world could end at any minute looming large over him, casting a dark shadow. Part of him fantasizes about picking her up for his visitation time and simply not returning her, disappearing somewhere safe. He can perfectly picture the headlines about that, too.

It all wears on him. He knows he's getting older, that he needs to be taking care of himself so he can be around for Janey, but between all the work and all the stress, he's drinking more and sleeping less.

The two meet once, maybe on some set Lucy's managed to find her way onto or something similar. She tries her very best to not absolutely swoon over meeting THE Cooper Howard, already embarrassed by her own enthusiasm; Cooper tries his best to be pleasant and charming, exhausted as he usually is. He finds their interaction strangely refreshing, though, and after that it's like he sees her everywhere. Her rather meager savings have run out even quicker than she had anticipated, so, like most non-wealthy people in L.A., she has multiple jobs and works whatever side gigs she can fit into her schedule. Sometimes that leads her back into his path, and he always wants to say hello, to chat and ask her about herself. Who is she to turn him down?

Eventually, he offers to hire her on to work for him, personally, both impressed by her work ethic and feeling rather sympathetic towards her situation (the fact that he thinks she's beautiful certainly doesn't hurt, but he refuses to look those thoughts in the face). He feels bad that he can't really pay her what he'd like to, what he thinks she's actually worth, but it's significantly more than she was already making between all her other jobs, so she's nothing but grateful. At first, she runs personal errands for him, returns calls he's too busy for, helps him schlep all his stuff back and forth when he works the "cowboy for hire"-type gigs.

Cooper greatly enjoys her company, enjoys once more having someone to help him tackle life's everyday struggles. Slowly, he begins to open up to her a little, allowing her to become privy to more of his personal problems. She hasn't met Janey, not yet, but he begins to talk more and more about her. Lucy has such a kind, empathetic nature that it's hard to not spill your guts to her just a bit. Soon, he realizes that he's developing actual feelings for her beyond appreciation for her physical beauty. Typically, he'd be able to see that his feelings are silently reciprocated, but his self-confidence has taken a pretty significant hit over the last couple years, leaving him feeling like an old creep salivating over his young personal assistant.

Fortunately, he manages to hide it well enough, though Lucy is quite preoccupied by her own thoughts, anyway.

Her own attraction to him is soaked in embarrassed guilt, as well; she already sometimes feels like a charity case with as kind as he is to her, so the crush she's developing feels like it could easily be contributed to his caring nature and his largesse. Besides, she had a bit of a crush on him as a girl, as well. He does often make her feel special, something she isn't used to on this level, and she tries to convince herself she's simply been taken in by the glamor of movie star Cooper Howard. However, the more time she spends alone with him, the more she realizes how physically attracted to him she is, as well. It makes her feel silly; what would a very established, famous, attractive older man want with her, some nobody from nowhere? You can't throw a stone in Los Angeles without hitting a gorgeous twenty-something. Surely if he wanted someone young, she tells herself, he'd have someone young, someone with more to bring to the table.

However, their twin denial and negative self-talk isn't enough to hide the way they see one another forever. Too many early mornings and late nights working together make them rather familiar with one another, and soon they're both far too comfortable in the other's presence for things to go unaddressed. They both try to put it off anyway, until things come to an eventual head.

When this happens, they don't so much as agree to give a relationship a try as fall into one another's arms and decide to think about the consequences in the morning.

Unfortunately, their relationship doesn't only progress from this point. Suddenly, Lucy isn't just his young employee who people theorize may be dating him...she is dating him. Before, the idea of Janey meeting her wasn't such a big deal, even if he secretly already had his eye on her; now, he'll be introducing his daughter to his girlfriend, which feels like a much more significant event. He loves being with her, but he's hyper-aware of how he knows people are going to respond if they decide to go public, how Barb is going to respond, and he finds it all overwhelming. Lucy notices his hesitance, but she misreads it as him being embarrassed of her, unwilling to claim her, and it hurts her feelings. He wants her to feel secure and validated, but he also doesn't want to rush things, knowing he isn't only making decisions about his personal future, and that there are consequences she can't possibly wrap her brain around until she really experiences them.

These two would have a fairly significant uphill battle to fight, all factors considered. He isn't as perfect as she may have once thought, and as mature as she may act, she's still lacking in real life experience, which sometimes limits her perspective. However, I think between Cooper's desire for a family and Lucy's desire to find somewhere she really feels like she belongs/is contributing to, they could manage to iron things out. Their life together may not look like every other nuclear family, especially as she supports him in his fight to see Janey more and he convinces her to give his Bakersfield dream some real thought, but life is what you make it!

I have an assignment due this week, so naturally I’ve spent all day thinking about a relatively minor aspect of Halsin’s characterisation: his sense of humour.

I haven’t often seen Halsin being funny in fanfic, and while there are probably good reasons for that (writers, including me, love to put him in angsty situations – or just PWP – where humour doesn’t necessarily fit) it makes me a little sad, because his sense of humour is something I really love about him. So I thought I’d do a little bit of analysis of his sense of humour as it appears in a few moments in canon.

First up, this comment he makes to Karlach, saying that being in the Underdark ‘dampens one’s sense of fun’ because ‘noises such as laughter tend to attract predators’:

He’s ostensibly talking about the Society having a dampened sense of fun, but of course it’s also an allusion to his own time in the Underdark, and so I think it’s reasonable to read the 'dampened sense of fun' line as referring to himself as well. I have Thoughts about what this quote says in terms of his time with his drow captors and what a formative experience it was for him, but keeping on topic, it points to something that’s backed up by the rest of canon: his sense of humour is dry, it's not performative or showy, and while I think he’s quite often joking he’s not often telling jokes.

Secondly, we have a moment from one of the conversations you can have with him in act 3 about his dislike for the city. He talks about his dream to find a better way where everyone can be cared for, and then he chuckles and says ‘Listen to me, preaching like an initiate in his cups.’

To me, this is quintessential Halsin sense of humour. He’s not telling a joke, he’s not even really trying to make the PC laugh; he’s just poking fun at himself in a wry sort of way. He’s also using humour as a defence mechanism here, I think; he’s minimising the impact of a potential dismissive response from the PC by undercutting his own speech before the PC gets a chance to do it.

Thirdly, we have his interaction with Lae’zel about the chimera:

I know some people seem to take this quote as him seriously admitting he’s fucked a chimera, but I will die on the hill of ‘he was joking’ (a chimera is functionally an animal! it has an INT score of 3! Halsin is canonically on record as uninterested in having sex with actual animals and has the scars to prove it!)

So this is one of the few instances I can remember of Halsin making an outright joke. Note though that it’s still in keeping with his particular sense of humour: it’s dry (to the point where it’s easy to miss that he’s joking at all) and it’s also self-deprecating, in a way: he’s playing with the conception of him as someone who’ll fuck anything that moves, leaning into that characterisation and by doing so, making fun of both it and of himself.

And finally, the other instance I can recall of him outright joking: when the PC tells him he’s quite large for an elf and his response is ‘I am?!’ I really love this one, both because it’s such an obvious example of him deliberately being funny and also because for once, the person he’s poking fun at is the PC (for stating the obvious) rather than himself.

Looking back at these examples, what strikes me is how much his sense of humour shows itself in relation to other people’s assumptions about him. It’s clearly an important way he copes with people misunderstanding him or being dismissive or seeing him as a caricature. Much of the time he seems to be joking to himself rather than anyone else, which makes sense given the interpretation that it’s a defence mechanism rather than a means of connecting with whoever he’s talking to. (I also have a theory that humour is one of the main ways in which he feels safe expressing anger – c.f. the interaction where he tells Shadowheart that she bleats too much – but this post is long enough as it is.)

In any case, I’d be interested to know if anyone else has thoughts on this, or if there are any canon moments I've missed that might contradict these theories.