Oldpersonondanetytho - Luftkissenmixer

woman committed suicide by shooting herself in the heart 4 times

Friendly reminder that while you’re out there enjoying your precious $12 organic cappuccino there are literally people without heads or whatever

rub her clit and tell her to hold fucking still

Mildly deranging coitus with my wildly gut-rearranging husbandibus

sinister sex with my unsettling wife

What a year this week has been.

tonight i went to the bathroom at 3 am and looked up and saw two bugs on my wall having sex and i thought of you

thank you for thinking of me. here’s a poetic adaptation of how that might‘ve gone down:

i look and see a shock above,

but really there’s,

no danger.

i pee and watch the bugs make love,

and think of him:

a stranger.

guy who sees a banana peel and says “my ride is here” and then slips away on it

middle school girls didn’t obsess over Legolas and Aragorn in 2001 just so that amazon could give all the boy elves super short hair in 2022