Shitposter

"Alexander Cat-milton, My name is Alexander Cat-milton."

Happy Fourth of July

Varmibeth Act 1 Scene 1

This is a quick opening scene introducing the three Wild Women and the prophecy they have for Varmibeth

A/N: I tried the whole rhyming thing for them, let me know what you guys think

 Its windy and heavily raining 

Paisley (Witch 1): When do we tell him of his fate?

Do we say it now or should we wait?

Aviva (Witch 2): When the poacher’s ship has sailed?

When King Martin (Duncan) has prevailed?

Koki (Witch 3): That is when we tell the tale.

Paisley: To whom do we tell?

Aviva: Tell to the pale, the one who is prone to wail

Koki: Then he will prepare to set sail

Aviva: Come on Stuffo,

Koki:Pouncy

Paisley: Pavers

Nori (Hecate): Only time will tell

If Varmibeth is prone to wisdom or to HeIl

😂😂😂 poor Chris, even his closest friends can’t help him

Español

Chris con un libro sobre lobos y otros caninos: ¿sabías que los lobos demuestran cariño latiendo sus bocas? Encantador

María: uh si, ¿es una indirecta? *mirada coqueta*

Chris: que? Cual indirecta?...*se da cuenta* ¡No, no es lo que piensas! ¡No quiero besarte! Bueno digo, si quiero besarte...¡Aaaaahhh! *muy rojo y en pánico*

María: *riéndose por dentro*

Zach con Jimmy y Aviva de tras de él como un tren: ¡Scruch! A su derecha podemos ver a dos lobos en su hábitat natural *seseñala a Chris y María*

Jimmy y Aviva: Oohh...

Zach: como pueden ver el macho no es muy bueno en el ritual de apareamiento

Aviva: aww *toma foto*

Chris: ¡No están ayudando!

Inglés

Chris with a book about wolves and other canines: did you know that wolves show affection by beating their mouths? Charming

María: uh yes, is that a hint? *flirtatious look*

Chris: what? Which hint?...*realizes* No, it's not what you think! I don't want to kiss you! Well I say, if I want to kiss you... Aaaaahhh! *very red and panicked*

Maria: *laughing inside*

Zach with Jimmy and Aviva behind him like a train: Scrunch! To his right we can see two wolves in their natural habitat *points to Chris and María*

Jimmy and Aviva: Oohh...

Zach: as you can see the male is not very good at the mating ritual.

Aviva: aww *takes photo*

Chris: They're not helping!

me when all my f/os and potential f/os are canonically married

BBQ and Kettle Corn

@blackaleycatt @sarsaparilla-springs

Let's have a digital party

@sombrathedragon @yellow-computer-mouse @scrollwyrm @ilikebookssomuch

Bring some food to said digital party. I have salt potato chips.

Donita singing while literally dressing pose-beamed Martin: I'm looking for a man in fashion, conservation, 5'10, blue eyes- fashion, conservation, 5'10, blue eyes- fashion, conservation, 5'10, blue eyes-

Martin: Did... you change the lyrics.... ?

Donita: NO SHUT UP

Daphne's Reference Sheet

(Note: this is vaguely designed after @jokerislandgirl32 ‘s reference sheet for her selfship kids)

Under the cut due to length

Full Name: Daphne Catalina Donata

Birthday: November 17th

Name Significance: Donita found a model named Daphne in a fashion magazine, who she thought dazzled every photo she was in, and she wanted her daughter to be like that + alliteration. Catalina was Henry’s grandmother who taught him to play the guitar’s name. Daphne got Donita's last name due to a game of rock paper scissors she won.

Nicknames: Mi Narcisa by Henry, Daffy by her younger siblings (They couldn’t pronounce Daphne); Daphne was never a huge fan of nicknames, preferring to just go by her name

Style/Signature Colors: Daphne prefers bold bright colors, like yellows and pinks, she likes to stand out in a crowd, and will wear whatever is trending at the moment, but her mother dresses her most of the time.

Height: 5’8; Her parents are both tall and she inherited those genes, but she is still slightly shorter than them both

Personality: Daphne is very career and fame oriented, almost to the point of obsession, but she isn’t shallow, often sacrificing for others when they need her help. Daphne is a very sassy girl, and would like you to think she doesn’t care, but it’s actually quite the opposite, with her gauging the reaction to everything she says. She has always been a very funny person, with a kind of dry humor, something she becomes known for on her social medias. Daphne is a very kind and ambitious person, but she is also very insecure about herself, often believing everyone hates her, even with evidence to the contrary. 

Family Relationships: Daphne, Dabio, and Donita are like three peas in a pod. As Daphne has grown older, they have only gotten closer, and Daphne views Donita and Dabio as her greatest inspirations to become a success story. Daphne’s father has pulled back from her a lot as she’s grown up, but she is determined to try and fix their relationship, if not for her sake, for the sake of her half-siblings. Daphne loves her half-siblings, and although there is a large age gap, she calls and texts them as often as she can, and is as enamored with them as they are with her. Allison, Daphne’s stepmom, hates her and has never had a meaningful conversation with her, so Daphne has begun to pull away from that toxic relationship, in favor of better ones. 

Love Intrests/Future Family: Daphne had a couple boyfriends in high school, nothing serious, always ending after a couple weeks/months, but she has always been looking for ‘the one’. She began to question if they even existed, after seeing people around her fall in love so quickly, and and questioned if she was even worthy of someone’s unconditional love. She eventually finds that in Vallen Varmitech, Zach and Violet’s youngest male child. (Ill add how they met at a later date, @jokerislandgirl32, if you have any ideas hmu)

Career and Talents: Daphne has been focused on becoming famous her entire life, eventually finding it through being an online influencer. As a result, her grades in school, while okay, were never as high as they should have been, with her really struggling in math and sciences, barely passing those classes. The only reason she passed was through extensive tutoring by Zach and Vera. Daphne also tried to become a musician like her father, to quickly realize she had no talent musically despite her best efforts, a big insecurity and disconnect from her father. 

A few years after high school, Daphne is invited to join a content creation house (Think Hype House etc) which she accepts the invitation. It is here where Daphne finally gets the worldwide fame and recognition she always craved. She stayed there for a couple years, before leaving and going on a trip to Greece to try and meet her grandparents and uncles. It is in Greece where Daphne realizes she doesn’t like where her content has gone, with the quality decreasing significantly from when she first started, and started to return to her roots of fashion and travel, with a bit of comedy skits mixed in. Daphne finds comfort in her new life as a superstar, and began to branch out and started her own PR company that she owns and operates.

Fun Facts:

Daphne’s favorite holidays are Fourth of July and New Years because she is udderly obsessed with fireworks

Her diet consists of almost anything, with an emphasis on sustainable sourcing of her meat, with a notable exception of shellfish and nuts, as she is deathly allergic to them both. She is a notorious picky eater though, making mealtimes difficult at times.

Daphne loves country and latin pop music, with her favorites being Shakira, Bad Bunny, Morgan Wallen, and Luke Combs, but she will listen to almost anything; she isn’t picky about music at all.

Daphne loves all nature except for bugs. She will scream when she sees any type of bugs (incuding moths and butterflies) and will run in the opposite direction. Other than bugs though, Daphne is down to hang out in nature, loving to take pictures of all the interesting wildlife. Her favorite animals are starfish and flamingos

Through her family and travels, Daphne has become fluent in Greek, Spanish and French in addition to English, a fact she will brag about to anybody who will listen

As a child, she didn’t watch much traditional tv, opting to watch reality tv, like The Real Housewives and Love Island, which her parents agreed to due to lack of knowledge of what they were. Her favorite movies though was the Barbie franchise, watching all of the movies and shows religiously, almost memorizing parts of them. She wanted to be Barbie so badly as a child, dressing like her for 5 Halloweens in a row.

All of these please!! But especially the Donita Paisley one, I’m so sad they never collaborated

Now that the psychic damage over Paisley's redemption has worn off, here are some hopes/episode ideas I have in regards to the future of her character arc on the show. Assuming that she isn't written off the series (which would be nothing short of a giant middle finger to her voice actress and the fans who waited 3 years for the character to return).

An episode that gives us closure for Rex. Whether or not he'll redeem himself alongside Paisley. I frankly do hope he does because like Paisley, he has had so few appearances in the show. Paisley getting redeemed after only 6 episodes of being a villain is one thing, but it'd be VERY hard to accept Rex becoming a main antagonist after serving as an underling [maybe they could make it work but that feels like a stretch] Plus they have the healthiest relationship among all of the villains on the show, so I don't like the idea that these two would wind up fighting each other in the future.

An episode akin to "Adapto the Coyote" where Paisley has her own subplot learning about the animals around her through misadventures. Maybe she's trying to build an eco-friendly environment but the animals keep getting in her way, so she tries to find an ethical loophole only to find out that the animals are the key.

On that note, I think Pave Nature Incorporated being kept in business but having their goals change would be an easy loophole. Construction, but in ways that leave animals and their habitats out of harm's way, or better yet, put them under protection. It would be a natural change for the character without doing a complete 180 of everything established with them [which can ruin a good redemption/development story]

Post-redemption Paisley meeting and facing off against the other villains. Again, this is something that the special kinda left on a thread that I think would be interesting to follow up on. Despite having minimal appearances in the show, Paisley and Rex have established themselves to be allies to Zach, Donita, and Gourmand. So this would be a game-changer to hear that she's with the Wild Kratts. Would the villains attempt to go after her? Would they try to use her to get to the Kratts? Zach's a specialized hacker, maybe he could intercept Paisley's tech to use it against her and make her look bad in front of the crew. Really interesting shit there!

And while we're still on that, a 1v1 interaction between Paisley and Donita. Paisley's been on the show for 8 years and a member of the villain team for 6 years and the 2 female villains on said team [as far as I recall] rarely exchange that much dialogue. It's already enough that we didn't have them team-up, but them being on opposing sides opens other opportunities. They could face off or be mirrors to each other, one could try and convince the other to join their side with no avail.

Her interacting with the other Wild Kratts Kids. As far as I'm aware, she's the only villain not to, which, whilst a testament to how badly unterutilized she is, could be interesting. Do the WK kids know about her if they've never reported her? Are they as easily willing to buy her overhaul as the rest of the crew is? Are the kids and Paisley willing to learn from each other voer their stance about nature? Interesting stuff!

I'm probably aiming too high when it comes to expectations but they backed themselves into a corner here with no way out, I'd really love to see how they handle this.

I have wanted to write some interesting facts about María for a long time. That's why I wanted to write 10 curiosities about her and show them

1- Maria has more developed canines than a normal human, which causes her to be more prone to eating meat (you can say that she is the carnivore in the relationship, if that makes any sense).

2- Her favorite holidays are Christmas and Halloween.

3- Her grandfather taught her to sled with her "dogs" to get around in winter. When it's winter, sometimes he offers to help transport some things or take the children to school if they missed the bus so they don't arrive. late.

4- Despite being a human, Maria has a heat period like that of a normal wolf, this can begin at the end of empire or early spring and can last between January and April, so she is normally seen stressed in those months that it lasts, although contraceptives help a little.

5- hates mint and everything related to it (except Chris) in addition to being allergic to it. She also hates animal abuse, having her garden damaged (although she forgives Razo and Hasper), talking about her parents because it makes her feel sad and nostalgic, having them reveal her secret, betraying her and the bad people who killed her parents. parents and left her an orphan.

6- she loves, strawberries or any fruit of the forest, animals (her favorite is the wolf), sweet desserts, her grandparents and uncle, her pets, making new friends, Chris and growing in the garden her.

7- Maria has trypanophobia, which is an intense fear of needles in medical settings.

8- María has some red marks on the sides of her face just below her eyes, they are from birth, but she is embarrassed and that is why she prefers to cover them with foundation.

9- She thinks that the relationship that the Kratt team and the unconscious villains have formed is like a somewhat distorted pack, they may always fight but at the end of the day it is always just them, there is no one else who gets into that circle that They have been formed and María has noticed that they even have a history with each other because of the smells they emanate, she finds it very tender in that way.

10: She loves taking care of children, in fact she has worked as a babysitter for some of the Wild Kratt Kids' children without knowing it, but she really enjoys her work.

94 percent but I’m actively charging it haha

Tag game!

500th post so why not start a tag game :D

Your battery percentage is the number of friends you have. How popular are you?

1-10 ok woah go charge your phone

you don’t have many friends because you’re too cool for most people :D

11-25 why have you been on your phone this long go outside

you have a good mix of friends and bitches. Respect.

26-50 your fine for a day or so

you are probably in 3+ friend groups but only in 2 group chats

51-75 congratulations on not forgetting to charge your phone last night

Woah there. Slow down on the friends- your phone might break from all the numbers you text. Good luck- you’re going to need it.

76-99 …wow! Someone who actually charges their phone- rare :3

you don’t know the names of all your friends and make 3 more everywhere you go.

100 you are a living god.

Wow- didn’t know this was possible. Round of applause to the amazing Dee Ity! (What a strange name)

npt:

@cuethesolareclipse13 @happilynerdyzombie @dayz72 @wisegirl42 @koryphaea