Stephen: *slams Books Down In Front Of Tony*

Fr

ao3 writers will be like "sorry if its out of character i wrote this for myself when i was half asleep" and then its the most beautiful well thought out character analysis youve ever read

Being around Tony stark can take a toll on you, some have to toughen up their skin to endure Tonys remarks, some just drift away from him, not wanting to deal with it.

But Peter?

No he's adapted.

Every snarky remark, and name Peter would be told, he just came back even stronger

"did you seriously forget to do your homework? Again? Don't you have enhanced..everything?"

"Mr stark, If we wanna talk irresponsible, let's talk about the time it seemingly crossed your mind to tell your loved ones you were dying because of the shrapnel in your chest." Peter snarked back

Tony stood frozen, his jaw dropped.

"well..fuck." Tony mumbled trying to contain l laughter at how sudden Peter came up with something like that.

Or another time.

"Peter, let me get you some new shoes." Tony pleaded

Peter sucked on his lollipop and squinted at Tony

"what? No why." Peter asked seemingly shocked

"because they're ratty. And old. And they look like they're gonna fall off or disintegrate at any given time." Tony answered crossing his arms

"why do you even keep them around?" The older one asked completely confused

"your ratty, old and likely to be on your death bed in a few years, why do we keep you around?" Peter snarked back raising an eyebrow.

Rhodey who was just passing through to grab some coffee was howling with laughter doubling over to clutch his stomach.

Sometimes it's not even directed at Tony.

"how do we even know we can trust the kid, he's unreliable" Sams eyes narrowed his voice harsh, but Steve nodded anyways

"I agree with Sam, recruiting a child would be very irresponsible."

Peter who was swinging on his chair, now paying attention in the meeting with the avengers turns to Steve and sam

"oh lord.." Tony muttered as rhodey tried to hide the smug, fond look on his face

"dude, you are 2 times my age, stop complaining and just admit that being an old man is getting to you, plus I can hear your knees snap like glow sticks when you crouch down. it's gross. Also who in this room has 1. A weird bird suit, and 2. Doesn't." Peter finished crossing his arms mirroring Tony. Alot.

"did I just get insulted by a toddler." Sam muttered

Peter is a sassy kid.

Peter is Tony's sassy kid.

Bruce: the real treasure was the memories we made along the way

Thor: i almost died

Loki: *wiping away a tear* that was my fondest memory

Billionaire Tony…

Does things like:

Making smoothie for his team

Chopping wood for a teammate

Repairing a tractor for the teammate

Playing paper football

Doing dishes

Tinkering in the garage

Building a bar with his science bro

And does not know what art is

Tony: Listen, I know I'm not your father-

Peter: I know.

Tony:

Peter: I know you're not my father Mr. Stark.

Tony: But-

Peter: Do you know?

Tony:

Peter: Do you know you're not my father?

Tony: Yes, I know.

Peter: You don't act like someone who is not my father, Mr. Stark.

Loki on the Asgard throne, by tellmeonemore.

Wille: *casually walks in after threatening the entire Royal council*

Simon: Why would you think this was a good idea?

Wille: Probably because I'm a sociopath with a long history of violence.

Simon:

Wille: I don't know how you keep forgetting this.

Sambucky is on my mind again!

I can only imagine with the metal arm and being a super soldier that Bucky is a pretty heavy guy. And Sam needs to be able to catch his dumbass when he jumps from tall buildings without a plan, so he starts weight lifting to be able to carry Bucky. But that means that he needs to be able to confidently lift like 250 lbs, so he ends up getting pretty muscular from it. Cue Bucky drooling when he sees how jacked Sam is getting without realizing it's all for him.

It’s not that Bucky missed it happening; that’s just not possible with how often he’s watching Sam.

It’s just, well. It’s a gradual change, so slow it’s easy to not notice it happening.

And it’s all the same, because Bucky’s definitely noticing it now.

Sam’s just back from his morning run, sweat running down his face and stinging his eyes, so he lifts up the loose cotton t-shirt he has on and wipes at his face as he greets Bucky breathlessly.

Bucky’s brain kind of, well, short-circuits, blood rushing out and heading south. His mouth is suddenly dry, ears ringing, and he’s frozen against the kitchen counter, his eyes unconsciously following Sam as he heads toward the fridge and grabs the orange juice, drinking right from the box because otherwise he would be too perfect to be human.

Bucky takes a scalding sip from his coffee cup, burns his tongue and slams the cup down, eyes a little blurry, images of Sam’s extraordinary toned stomach and deliciously muscular arms tauntingly flashing in his mind.

He looks back at Sam, who’s staring at him with a raised eyebrow. At least the t-shirt is covering his stomach again, small mercies. Less of a mercy is the way his shorts are hugging his thighs and ass when he turns to put the juice back in the fridge.

God, Bucky is going to walk into a wall and knock himself out, what the fuck.

“Hey, Buck,” Sam says, and he getting closer, actually looking kind of worried now. “You okay?”

Bucky almost swallows his tongue when Sam’s close enough, because he can smell him now, on top of everything else, and it’s edging on a little too much, even for a super-soldier like himself.

He takes a deep breath (big mistake), tries to say, “yeah, I’m okay,” and ends up saying, “when did you get so muscular?”

Sam blinks, opens his mouth, closes it, then blinks again for good measure.

Bucky’s face burns; he wants to step away from the situation but there’s nowhere to go without pushing Sam out of the way, so he stays where he is, the counter’s edge digging into his back when he leans back into it.

Suddenly, Sam takes a step back and looks down, face twisting like he’s embarrassed about something.

“Remember Colorado?”

Bucky frowns, nods, then says, “yeah,” because Sam’s still not looking at him.

“You jumped out the window—“

“I was thrown out the window.”

Sam rolls his eyes. “You weren’t supposed to be anywhere close to that window at all.”

“It wasn’t my fault that I was thrown out the damn window!”

Sam takes in a frustrated breath. “Anyway, I had to… catch you and I… I almost dropped you, Bucky.”

Bucky frowns again. He doesn’t remember Sam almost dropping him. All he remembers was how one second he was free-falling and the next he had Sam’s arms around him, breaking his fall and carrying him to safety. He remembers how he just knew that Sam would catch him, how he didn’t doubt it for a second.

“Sam?” he asks, because he’s not sure how this has anything to do with Sam’s incredibly fantastic muscles.

Sam sighs. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’re kinda heavy, especially when I’m trying to catch you midair. So, I, uh. I started working out more, lifting more.”

“Oh,” Bucky says. His knees are a little weak, but that’s no one’s business.

Sam’s working out and lifting more so he could carry/catch Bucky. Bucky’s brain is about to melt right out his ears.

“That’s, hm,” he tries to say anything, because Sam is getting more embarrassed, starting to fidget.

“Look, I know—”

“Really hot.”

“Oh.”

Bucky sighs, pushes aways from the counter and wraps his arms around Sam’s waist, pulls him close.

Sam’s breath hitches. “Oh,” he repeats, and he blinks slowly up at Bucky, his eyes getting steadily darker.

“You,” Bucky says, even as his heart races, because god, Sam’s into this, too, “are going to be the death of me.”

Sam opens his mouth to say something about that, but Bucky just leans in and swallows the words right off his tongue.

They can talk later.

Now, though, Bucky is going to kiss every single one of Sam’s muscles.

read on ao3

Stephen: You slept only for few hours

Tony: I'll have a coffee and everything's gonna be ok

Stephen: You're locked in your lab for days, come on, let's go for a walk or something.

Tony: I'm not a dog.

Stephen: I haven't asked you anything. Go change, it's cold outside.

Tony: What language do they speak at the center of the earth? Tony: Core-ean Thor: The center of the earth is around 5430 degrees Celsius! Nobody is going to live there so they don’t need a language! Clint: Core-ean.