Early To Bed And Early To Rise Leaves A Man So Fucked Up That He Dies

rivals to lovers where the girl thinks they’re mortal enemies and the guy thinks they’re just flirting

i’m sorry i know it was objectively rooted in logic but watching annabeth and grover plop percy’s pasty, anemic, dying ass down in some tourist fountain and intensely splash water on him like he’s some toddler they don’t know how to bathe is probably the funniest fucking thing i’ve seen in a good while

wait what

here its basically the barter system. you tie rakhi, give gifts, and the older cousin/brother has to give you a gift

i hate diwali <3

Rick Riordan: takes 17 years to create a nice little riordanverse

Me: comsumes it whole in 17 weeks.

if you are the type of person to tell a girl to stop driving around with an adult sized plastic skeleton strapped into the backseat of her car do not imagine even for one second that you could ever score a girl who would drive around with an adult sized plastic skeleton in the backseat of her car

I just love it when video games let you do really stupid shit that kills you immediately. I love being like "oh this is a terrible idea" and being able to do it and then die. It's good game design.

i know we’re both just messing around pretending to be whole but look at me. if the train was coming would you move. if the ground was falling from under your feet would you even notice or would it just be another tuesday for you. if somebody stabbed you could it hurt worse than you already do. what i’m saying is that i love you but i think we both drive over the speed limit when it’s raining. what i’m saying is that i want to hold your hand and i understand about how you sometimes have to sit down in the shower. what i’m saying is that i’m here for you and if the train comes please move.

eye of the tiger plays as i enthusiastically jump out of bed and hit my head on an overhead lamp and remain unconscious for the rest of the day

This is what it feels like tbh.