numberon3-bitter-hag-na

Latest Posts by numberon3-bitter-hag-na

From my dissertation: Trans Men in Late Soviet and Post-Soviet Russia

The prison slang for masculine inverted women was kobelki, meaning stud. In Zhuk’s account, the kobelki played the role of benevolent patriarch for their prison wives. As husbands, the kobelki exercised a degree of dominance and control but did not treat their passive partners with violence. They were extremely popular among female inmates because of the sexual services they offered; in bed, kobelki would play the masculine role, penetrating their partners. This is the source of another nickname for kobelki, kovyrialki, which means lockpicks. Kobelki risked losing their status, however, if they ever betrayed the male-female roleplay. Kobelki who asked their partners to touch their sexual organs lost their status and authority regarding other women, slipping into the passive role from which there was no return. Zhuk depicts the kobelki as popularizing female same sex relationships, but not all lesbian-identified Russian women shared this positive view. In the 1993 Russian documentary film To My Women Friends, a collection of filmed interviews with same sex attracted females, one subject recounted her time in prison and spoke in negative terms about the masculine women she encountered there. She described them as leeches, mooching off the labor and kindness of feminine partners in exchange for false promises of genuine love and loyalty. She ridiculed them for pretending to be men, for hiding their bodies and packing their underwear with matchboxes to pretend they possess male genitalia.

Prison psychiatrists also took note of this pattern of sexual role play among incarcerated women. They approved of the formation of these “homosexual families” on the grounds that women were more emotionally fragile than men and could not endure prison life without the structure that the family unit provided. A 1965 study of “female homosexuals” drawn primarily from the Karaganda women’s corrective labor camp classified its subjects as either active or passive homosexuals. Most active homosexual women (forty-one out of the fifty-seven in the sample) imitated the behavior of a man as head of the family. They took all major decisions and decided how money, including that earned by their partners, was to be spent. Active women in these households scorned work considered feminine, but they gladly performed men’s work such as chopping wood or fixing a fence. Twenty-one of the twenty-nine active women with jobs worked in men's professions, including cobbling, driving, and operating a lathe. Almost half of the active women in the study displayed transvestic behavior.

Prison culture became a major influence on the whole of Russian cultural life during the 1990s, including the reputation of queers within its hierarchies. Similarly, memories of mass incarceration from the Soviet era lingered in the nascent queer subculture. In addition to the memories of trauma discussed above, I argue that the primary legacy of Soviet mass incarceration on Russian understandings of sexuality took the form of gender anxiety. Prison hierarchies were exceptionally gendered, with masculine individuals enjoying privilege over other prisoners who inhabited a passive, feminized sexual and social role. This produced both weak, sexually victimized men and mannish, dominant women, both threats to the cisheteronormative patriarchal status quo. In the 1990s straight Russian men feared the possibility of becoming like the degraded ones they had seen or heard of in prison, and same sex attracted Russian women found their self-understanding disrupting by the presence of transmasculine transgender and transsexual individuals who previously were only visible in the zone.

At the same time as this crisis of cisheteronormative masculinity, however, Russia in the 1990s was becoming one of the only nations on earth where female to male transsexualism was far more common than male to female transition. Records from surgeons in Moscow offering transsexual operations indicated that the number of masculinizing surgeries performed greatly outnumbered feminizing ones. Healthcare providers were at a loss to explain this phenomenon, but rumors emerged among Russian lesbians that Soviet psychiatrists had been sending their most difficult same sex attracted female patients to receive mandatory sex change operations, thus curing their homosexuality by transforming them into heterosexual men. Laurie Essig reported this rumor in Queer in Russia, and it has gone on to have wide currency in discussions of the treatment of queers in the Soviet Union. Igor Kon, however, immediately disputed Essig’s claim. As one of the few practicing sexologists in the USSR, Kon would have known if standard practices for the treatment of same-sex attraction included sexual reassignment surgery, and furthermore such operations are extremely complex and difficult and would have required specialist knowledge that was largely unavailable in the USSR.

But why did this rumor form and why did it persist? Female masculinity was a prevalent feature of lesbian life in 1990s Russia. In the film To My Women Friends, two of the six interviewees describe having a transmasculine identity, with one going as far as to totally distinguish himself from womanhood. Neither individual had pursued sexual reassignment, so it is worth noting that while the recipients of masculinizing mastectomy or phalloplasty numbered in the hundreds, the amount of transgender identified females was likely several times greater. Same sex attracted women often did not view them positively. Olga Krauze, in an interview with Argumenty i Fakty, decried mannish lesbians as “awful,” and said that attempting to change one’s sex had “disastrous” consequences, that these transsexuals endured lonely fates as their partners abandoned them. Her arguments included the assertion that sexual reassignment is just a cosmetic surgery, patients are incapable of orgasm afterward, and that they must then take artificial hormones for the rest of their lives. Despite her revulsion toward masculine women, Krauze pleads that if one’s “infantile complexes” force them to behave as a man, that they should simply dress the part but not “mutilate” themselves. She concludes that most transsexuals only pursue surgery to officially register their marriages to women. Given this extremely negative view by one of the leading cultural figures of 1990s Russian lesbianism, it can be concluded that many in the wider community shared Krauze’s view. As such, it makes sense to associate transsexualism with totalitarianism, an artificial imposition forced on same sex attracted females, especially in the context of the privileged and visible role inhabited by mannish women in Soviet prisons. While no historical examples exist of Soviet psychiatry forcing same sex attracted females to undergo sexual reassignment, similar scenarios could have caused confusion. Decades prior, in the Karaganda study, the author made note of one subject who passed as a man in society, using the name Andrei Ivanovich in his passport. Andrei managed to officially register his marriage to a female partner and “together they formed a homosexual family” with his wife’s children from a previous marriage, and the children knew Andrei as “papa.” In a broader sense, the sexual inverts described by Olga Zhuk were a product of the Soviet penal system, albeit an unintentional one. Prisons provided a space where female masculinity was celebrated, where successfully emulating male embodiment and sexuality provided status and material benefit. Meanwhile, there was no location in Soviet society where males emulating female embodiment could achieve similar benefits. Sexually passive, emasculated males suffered tremendously in prison, and the tightly controlled Soviet public sphere provided no space for male assigned persons to play with feminine presentation and roles. For Western observers, one of the distinguishing features of Russian gay club culture was the lack of a camp aesthetic; queer Russian men were far more eager to flaunt their wealth than to flaunt gender norms. In a sense then it is true that the Soviet system produced a flourishing of female to male transsexuality and transgenderism. The site of production, however, was in the prison system, not in punitive psychiatry.

The smoking fetish means a lot of things to me. it captivates me, because the smoker controls space around her.

The performance of smoking shows you what she controls. If you want to stand near her, you have to choke on her selfish indulgence. The force of her presence stings your eyes and tightens around your throat.

You can't remain in her presence without accepting her control and allowing it to shape you. Eventually your eyes and throat will adjust to the gloating exhales she pours into your face. You're used to it now. She's made you a little more like her. Everyone can see you standing, willingly, in the fumes that trail behind her when she moves. Everyone can see who you belong to now.

"Do you mind if I smoke?" she asks, drawing a notice-me length cigarette from a pack, as though she ever cared about the answer to that question.

A heavenly beach scene, Earth Mother 2 by Andrey Surnov

Here is a guide to hitting others. It is not about safe impact locations or how to develop picturesque bruising. It is about how to hit someone, and keep hitting someone, until you're both satisfied. It is how I approach hitting masochists for my own pleasure.

The first thing to note is that...

This is going to Hurt.

That fact cannot be shied away from. Pain, even for masochists, hurts. There is a tolerance to how much someone can take, and ways to engage with that tolerance. You will need to learn how each masochist takes pain, and potentially even teach them how to manage and endure it.

So you've got a paddle and a tied up piece of masochistic meat, or perhaps you're using your hand and it's bent over your knee, or perhaps it's cuffed to a cross and you've got a whip, or perhaps you've got a knife or needles or... well by now I've laboured the point enough.

How do you get the most out of your meat?

Start slow. Hit them slowly and rhythmically, building up in intensity every few hits, and when they tense too much or start struggling to breathe or can't stop themselves from making too much noise, slow down again.

Your aim is to warm up the meat so that it can get used to the pain, and once it's used to the pain you can intensify it. Climb up, drop down, and climb back up again. Vary the strike location, but remember that locations you haven't hit as much will need warming up too. The more skilfully it's done, the more you'll get to hit it.

On the subject of their breathing, tension, and noises, you'll want to pay attention to these as you hit them. As you hit them, their breathing will try to get sharp and shallow. Their muscles will try to contract to harden against the impact, and they'll make noises as reactions to your hits. Encourage them to keep their breathing steady and calm, and they'll take the hits better. Encourage them to relax so that the impact dissipates into their flesh instead of getting caught in their tension and you can hit them harder while hurting them less. Listen for moans of pleasure if they're so inclined, and encourage them to verbalise their pain, intentionally responding to pain verbally will help them endure it. Let them calm themselves between your hits, and they'll feel like they can take it and let you push them harder.

Watch how they react, but be aware that you may need to soothe or goad them. Try different things: Hold your off-hand on their shoulder so that they can brace against you. Praise them for each hit you've delivered. Tell them they can take more for you. Tease them. Rub them while they catch their breath and tell them how happy you are with them for taking it. Be verbal, but don't expect responses unless they enjoy responding. Pay attention to what helps them calm.

Once you've got the hang of these things, you can begin to play with them and challenge them: forbid them from making noise. Blindfold them so that they can't prepare for the pain. Make them watch you hit them so that they can't help but tense up in response, and play with false swings to mess with their minds. You can be cruel, because you know how it works. You know which moving parts can be shifted, and which must stay still.

Consider also what your masochist wants from being hit: some do not want to be overwhelmed, they want to be guided and hit into a meditative place where they can dissolve into the pain: intense but never too much, and then you can hit them until they're bloody and raw. Others want their pain to push right up to the edge of too much and stay there until they break. They want to cry and scream, and your challenge is to see how cathartic you can make it: break them too quickly and they might not find it satisfying, and neither will you.

And afterwards, aftercare, and you can work out what that looks like with your masochist yourselves.

Hello it is my birthday and I am trying to get top surgery. If my work has ever meant anything to you please consider sharing or donating. Thank you !!

gofundme.com

Donate to Help Leo Get Top Surgery!, organised by Allison Watling

I'm starting this fundraiser to help my wonderful boyfriend, Leo, access gender affirming su… Allison Watling needs your support for Help Le

Das Boot ist Voll (The Boat is Full), a 2017 masterpiece by Rolf Ohst … www.Rolf-Ohst.de

New character!

Amy the Succubus

What did he do

Funky is stupid and gay and I hate himm

ARMPIT

taking a puff of childhood memories and blowing out the ghost of a little girl who never got to be

trans kissies

any other girlies in the position of actually liking having a penis but also dont really like anal but desperately want to get fucked so bottom surgery is pretty appealing but its also very expensive so like it almost feels like i dont get a decision but im not like that unhappy?? feels weird

Vroom vroom!

Olive Wren and Pearl Sage by Nikki Silver

Hitman mission

Pjack......

she suck me til the oven timer go off

mockingly asking them if they have an intox kink after i've already drugged them and i’m pulling their clothes off

Intelligence isn't real. Locking in isn't real. Manifesting isn't real. Tryharding isn't real. Nobody has a divine feminine, or a love language, or a humoral temperament. Men aren't real. Women aren't real. The club is a projection. The world is not a hologram. There are no afterlives, sacred frequencies, or psychological archetypes. Your body is a temple but like, one of those Sumerian ones that was mainly for storing grain. Epicurus was right. Get it twisted and always be twisting it.

Some people asked for more.. and who am I to refuse lmao

This Is My Fav Gif Rn Btw

billie eilish is dressing like a bad guy thug at a mahjong game in a kung fu movie

x

starting a new trend called "matildamaxxing" where i listen to send me on my way by rusted root and make pancakes and throw shit at you with my mind

She makes me feel so loved. It's not a generic love. It's not a love out of a desire to love someone. She loves me, and me in particular, and loves me in the ways I need to be loved.

I don't think I've ever been with anyone ever who loves me exactly how a TS woman should be loved. When I told her I was denied for the surgery, she researched doctors who might take me. Today, I told her the dysphoria has been eating me alive and she asked if extra affection and compliments would be helpful, and if not, if there was anything else she could do. She lets me feel and cry, she comforts me when I'm scared, she listens. She touches me without me asking her to. I think I'm the luckiest woman in the universe.

*eating a ploughmans lunch* so, how long until it kicks in?

The sexy transfeminine urge to isolate and burn relationships with people because you think you deserve it for being such a needy annoying piece of shit garbage person.

Love my new key clip from @thyfleshc0nsumed. Fag dykes 4 ever <3