Nsthebrotherangstguy - NS' Ramblings

me: i wanna talk about my ocs

someone: ok tell me about your ocs

me, suddenly convinced that every single thing about my ocs is stupid and cringy and probably offensive: i. have them

Me too! Here's mine :D

Ok I’ve been convinced! Here’s my face reveal…

in another world, you get to save him.

it is not a grand thing. you do not pull him out of the way of an incoming car. you do not slip off a building and wait to hit the ground. you do not rip the heart out of something that was never human and watch as he paints his face dark with its blood. you do not love him with the fury of a supernova, bright and terrible and too far away to ever touch.

instead, you take his hand. and you do not let go. you never have to wonder what the world is like without him, what it would be like without you. you do not have to set your teeth into what you love and pull it back from the edge. the end of the world never has to happen.

in another world, you are enough, all by yourself. how awful is that?

it does not change the fact you are hunted, haunted by memories that are never quite clear enough to understand.

(his smile, his voice, the feathers and the fear in his eyes when you promised to die for him. how selfish you are.)

you don't--you don't want to talk about it. it's as if verbalizing these dreams will make them real, that he'll melt away before your eyes, proving once and for all that you have never been enough for anyone. you hold these secrets behind your tongue as they burn a hole straight through your throat.

he asks you if it's because he's dead.

you cannot answer. the house around you is red with blood, and the only person you think you've ever loved is asking you if he's dead (he's been dead from the beginning), and you do not want to remember.

(here is a truth you will never tell anyone. for a moment, you had wished he were dead. for a moment, you had wished that you were the only one he had. that it is him, and it is you, and that you two were the entire world. it is sick, and awful, and you hate yourself for thinking it. you dream of him anyways.)

you do not want to remember. so you won't. that's what he tells you, and you are desperate to believe him. you'll go as far away as you possibly can, you and him, and you will be together.

(it's already too late, but you don't know that yet.)

(or maybe you do.)

you tell him to run. if you can't save yourself, you can save him. in this world, you can save him.

you do not like thinking about what happens next. the pain. the white of bone. limbs where they should not be. by the time you are pushed in, it is far too late for you. you are glad of it, because it means the pain will be over.

and then--and then--and then. oh. the blood.

(it is not thick and black, clotted with knots of supernatural embolisms. it is just red, coppery, human. your palm drags across it, slick and warm. your blood, and his.)

you curl, a spiral of wishful dreams and drying blood, around him, a pale facsimile of comfort. here, you are not a savior. you do not have to pretend you are not afraid. at the bottom of the well, there is silence.

(at the end of the world, it is him, and it is you.)

in another world, you do not get to save him.

To the Minamotos and Kou enjoyers, do you sometimes think about the fact that Kou and Teru took on the roles of “Mother figure” and “Father figure” respectively of the household?

Do you sometimes think if Teru were to die, the family would lose their oldest son, their protector and the “father figure” of the household, but they would still have their actual father, an absent one, but one that still exist?

Do you sometimes think about the fact, that if Kou were to die, they would lose ALL the “motherly figures” that they have left in their household?

Do you sometimes think about the fact that the only “motherly figure” Tiara knows is Kou?

When she is asked who is the one in her house that does all the “motherly stuff”?

The one that cooks.

The one that cleans.

That make sure everyone is doing well, eating well, well rested and takes care of them while they’re sick.

The one that makes sure everyone gets up in the morning and gets ready to go to school. She thinks of Kou.

Do you sometimes think about the fact that Tiara didn’t met her mother?

Do you sometimes think about the fact that when Tiara is asked about who is the one that does all the “mom stuff” around her house, she thinks of Kou?

Do you sometimes think about the fact that probably when Tiara is older, and thinks about her mother, the only one that comes to mind unconsciously is Kou?

Do you sometimes think that maybe, JUST MAYBE, sometimes when Teru thinks or remembers his mom, he unconsciously thinks of Kou too? (Maybe similar to Sokka from Avatar)

Damn it’ll would be crazy to think that isn’t it? 🥲🫠 to think that they would lose their “Mother figure” AGAIN. Crazy, right?

i think “video games aren’t really the violent child-corrupting threat some parents worry they are” and “certain circles of gamer culture are incredibly toxic and can lead people down dangerous/hateful ideological rabbit holes” are ideas that can absolutely coexist

fun fact: nene has a tumblr blog where she posts her poems about her crushes. her most recent post is about her having a bisexual awakening

some people think writers are so eloquent and good with words, but the reality is that we can sit there with our fingers on the keyboard going, “what’s the word for non-sunlight lighting? Like, fake lighting?” and for ten minutes, all our brain will supply is “unofficial”, and we know that’s not the right word, but it’s the only word we can come up with…until finally it’s like our face got smashed into a brick wall and we remember the word we want is “artificial”.

The Feast!

TBHK Tumblr Hunger Games: Tributes, stand on your podiums!

Hi hi! The time has finally come to start the TBHK Tumblr Hunger Games! Introducing our tributes:

@wispisstillverybored67 @hy4c1nthh @ocelotlesbian @snowiwyvern @strawbes @mysteriousmissme @astrocket @nenenumbereight @sl33pd3mxn @makshu @elizabethzoopzoop986 @musicalmoritz @redcamellia13 @maramarabum @frogwithaflowercrown @hill-ll-p @blushing-bunniez @lyingintheclouds @nam-the-nacho @venusluvmechain @matcha-mintea @weebs6284 @sophisfish

...also additional ping: @jshkcommunity

You can certainly follow along as the rb chain is being posted, but if you couldn't don't worry :D the final chain would be reblogged to jshk community!

Currently thinking about how Kou knelt down and rubbed 4 y/o Tsukasa's forehead to see if he's hurt despite how much he hates Tsukasa

TBHK Tumblr Hunger Games: The Reaping

Hello there! I'm hosting a Hunger Games for members of TBHK/JSHK Tumblr :D

To volunteer for tribute comment on this post! There are only 24 tribute slots so first come first serve >:D The game will progress through rb chain and under the tag #tbhkblr hunger games with the final completed rb chain posted on jshk community