Before Spotify Wrapped Comes Out I Have To Establish That I Am Not Mentally Well And Cannot Be Held Responsible

The friendship between Neil and Charlie makes me genuinely so distraught. Like Neil was his best friend. He was his best friend and he left him at the Welton alone. He had to be the one to tell Todd, and maybe the others, that Neil was dead. He had to deal with all of the adults, and Cameron, blaming Keating for his death and he got expelled when he opposed that idea.

I have so many thoughts about him.

Alexa and Dev, 2008

DREW STARKEY AS EUGENE ALLERTON Queer (2024) dir. Luca Guadagnino

why do I have to remember?

girls don’t want boys. girls want to know what henry whispered to camilla.

I desperately need like minds but as a mockumentary. Like for example Alex and Nigel at the morgue over Susan’s Body. Alex having the worst time of his life

Nigel: “she’s yours Jack”

Alex: *sighs, pinches the bridge of his nose and stares at the ceiling*

Cut to Alex being interviewed

“Middle of the night. No explanation. Just "This way" and like an idiot, I follow him. And where do we end up? A morgue. Of course. What did I even expect?” *dramatically throws his hands up* “At this point, I’m beyond questioning it. I’m just… I need a nap.” *stares into the camera like he’s on the verge of a breakdown*

Or an interview after Josh and Alex chloroformed Nigel and dragged him onto a train

Nigel: *perfectly calm* “I get it, I may have freaked him out with the taxidermy and all but chloroform and kidnapping me? That was excessive. I feel like Alex should unpack that urge with a professional.” *after a few seconds silence* “can’t say I didn’t enjoy it tho”

Or the crawlspace scene

Nigel: “we’ve been brought together for a reason. And it’s written here. For eternity.”

Cut to interview

Alex: “Okay so at first I thought he was into me. But then he started talking about 12th century Templar orders and him being my *air quotes* 'implement for killing' and I realized it was somehow even weirder than that.”

New scene, Josh’s funeral:

Alex grieving, looks up and catches Nigel staring at him from across the grave

Cut to interview

Alex: “so I’m grieving, right? My best friend? Dead. In the ground. And then I look up and guess who’s staring at me like some kind of american psycho?? Well I give you a hint. His name starts with N and ends in igel. Just standing there staring, no shame, all intense and broody. Like, sir, MY FRIEND'S DEAD BODY IS LITERALLY BETWEEN US. CAN YOU MAYBE NOT RIGHT NOW??”

is this anything

Paul Mescal as Calum Patterson Aftersun (2022) dir. Charlotte Wells

You don’t know how much I would kill for a version of this book from Camilla’s perspective. I have so many questions. Who was she really? What role did she have to play in all the events that unfolded?

I can’t help but think it must have been more sinister than the other characters due to Richard completely omitting anything about her character and personality to such a degree. He romanticized her more then Henry and Julian to such an extent she’s an enigma.

Her story about what happened to the farmer is completely different from Henry’s. She was the only one covered in blood. The group is very protective of her as evidenced by the scene when she injured her foot. She’s the only one in the group who remained cool and unfazed after murdering Bunny. She is seemingly unaffected by the breakdown of the group. She’s aware of the nature of Francis and Charles relationship and does nothing to help him. When Charles begins to spiral further in his addiction she leaves him behind and goes to Henry for protection.

Did she murder the farmer? What did she really think about Richard? Or Henry? How much did she know? How much did she manipulate? So many possibilities.