Sometimes A Piece Of Media Just! Grabs You By The Throat And Says, "hey Buddy! I'm Gonna Irrevocably

AU where Jon doesn’t get the job at The Magnus Institute and joins Ghost Hunt UK out of desperation after being introduced to Melanie by Georgie. I picture it like buzzfeed unsolved- Melanie telling Jon to stop yelling at the ghosts and Jon completely convinced almost every site they visit is completely fake

I want this fic on my desk by morning, is that clear?

Looking more like a checklist these days. I want off this ride. 😭

BAN ON CONVERSION PRACTICES IN THE EU. GO SIGN IT. DEADLINE IS FUCKING MAY 17. WE'RE STILL MISSING 800.000 signatures. FUCKING DO IT.

eci.ec.europa.eu

European Citizens' Initiative

Give your support !

um. Oh. You got replaced? Shit, damn. Have a paper towel or smth idk

wdym he took ur eyes how didn’t anyone notice his eyecolor change

idk put a wet paper towel on it tf am i gonna do

A non-exhaustive list of things from TMA that I was 100% certain were just fandom jokes before I actually listened to the podcast:

- The homophobic vase.

- Jon being kidnapped and forcibly moisturized for a month.

- Jon being kidnapped three separate times in the span of a single season.

- The "I won't kill a man because you're jealous." "Why not?!" exchange between Jon and Martin.

- There are like seven or more characters all named some variant of Michael.

- Melanie calling Jon "The Ceaseless Watcher's special little boy".

- Jon asking Martin if he was a ghost.

- The "Statement of Joe Spooky" quote from Tim.

- The "Except for the vampires." "Yeah, obviously except for the vampires." exchange between Jon and Gerry.

- Mike Crew trapping a dude on a ladder forever.

- Jon asking Martin to gouge his eyes out and run away with him.

- Nikola Orsinov. Like, just in general.

- Elias being a pothead.

- Georgie being literally incapable of feeling fear.

- The bone apple teeth.

- The guy who married a bug.

apologies for “it”. and by it well. haha. let’s justr. say. the deceptoin.

also

Apparently in China peach wood (Along with the rest of the plant) is believed to have properties that repel evil spirits, a little similar to silver in European legends or iron for both European fae and West Asian/Middle eastern Jinn. Taoists sometimes keep swords made of peach wood because of this. This made me realize something. If you took a peach wood stick, and attached studs to it of both silver and iron you'd end up with a club or staff (or mace, flail etc.) that would have the weaknesses of many kinds of supernatural creatures while still retaining effectiveness as a normal weapon (peach is a hardwood and silver's poor edge retention doesn't matter for studs). You could even keep adding new stud materials to get something ridiculous that affects over 120 catalogued folkloric monsters. Since you just need a few little studs you could even get some really expensive materials like meteoric iron (a thumb tip sized meteorite can still cost like 10-20 bucks I think). I could somewhat feasibly make a weapon that affects every monster ever thought to walk the earth, from vampires and werewolves to jinn and jiangshi and even mankind.

i want to bite God's thumb off