Latest Posts by nixisverytired - Page 5

being a man or being masculine is inherently neutral

being a woman or being feminine is inherently neutral

dont play into any narrative that frames men/masculinity as inherently bad and women/femininity as inherently good, this is radfem rhetoric

dont play into any narrative that frames men/masculinity as inherently good and women/femininity as inherently bad, this is religious extremism

but fr I'll never take it seriously when someone says "i was abused by men, I'm allowed to hate them and anyone trying to show love for men is an MRA" like you know how many of us were abused by our mothers and it's still (rightfully) considered not okay to say that women are all abusers just waiting to kill their children. If you blame violence on someones gender instead of the societal mechanisms that encourage and allow violent and harmful behaviour you're perpetuating that cycle.

what the actual fuck...

I genuinely don't think the trans/queer community at large has separated itself from the transphobic idea that everything trans men do is embarrassing and cringe, and it rlly shows in the way some of you talk abt your questioning of your gender back in 2020, as well as artists and people associated with teenage/young transman/masc culture, and it's rlly disappointing to see, esp since it's so common in the transmasc community itself

The fearmongering around medical transition for transmascs will never not be upsetting to me.

“you’re gonna look ugly as a man” “but you’re such a pretty girl, don’t change that” Wrong. You will look different after T, but you will look happy. You will probably grow hair and gain weight and look pretty different, and none of that is bad or makes you less desirable. You are going to look like you and that’s all that matters.

“T makes you angry” “you’re gonna be a scary man i won’t feel safe around you” Wrong. Testosterone does not “make” you angry. Messing with your hormones will mess with your emotions for sure, but you will not immediately become some scary predator when you start T. Being a man/masculine does not make you a threat, a predator, or inherently angry. That’s radfem shit.

“bottom growth is gross” “no one will want you with bottom growth” Wrong. Bottom growth is cool and a LOT of guys end up loving theirs a lot more than they thought they would. For a lot of people it is a desirable trait, there are people who find bottom growth hot and attractive. And! If you’re sure you don’t want it there’s things you can do to work around that, just talk to your provider.

“bottom surgery is super painful and not worth it” First off, call it phalloplasty, because that’s what you’re talking about. Second, yes it’s painful, it’s surgery. There are risks to it and complications can happen, but that’s true of any surgery. Phallo might not be for you, but it is life saving care for other folks. It is beautiful and should be talked about as life saving care and not as some afterthought thing that no one actually does.

Being transmasculine is a beautiful thing. Transitioning medically is not something every trans person wants, but if you notice yourself holding back for the reasons i’ve listed above (or similar) maybe reconsider.

Frankly we all should have multiple names. We contain many multitudes and vibes and just one is too limiting

If you're really a cis woman, why are you getting your panties in a twist about "Androhysteria"?

?? Because transmascs are people who don't deserve shit like that being said to them ?? Spoiler alert: people unaffected by transandrophobia can have compassion for, support and stand up for transmascs

I hope it's okay for me to send this ask-

I just kinda generally wanted to talk about how I ended up kinda coming to terms with exclusionists existing, and yet managing to just pay them no mind. The first time I met an exclusionist was, surprisingly enough, in real life. This one was all about denying the need for the pansexual label, as well as a very strong hatred for ace people. I really don't wanna get in detail, but it was my first time meeting someone who had so much vitriol for other people within the community. It was a pretty important part of his personality, truthfully.

Then, over time, it kinda became obvious to me that he was kinda doing it as an attempt to... Redirect the attention elsewhere? He had done a lot of harm to other people, in ways that he couldn't really argue well about (not wanna get into detail, but there was some grooming involved). Part of how he tried to cover that up was just to find another topic to be loud about, rallying people together in a specific type of hatred and becoming a big name within the community through his stupid little war against ace and pan people. When you tried to kinda bring up that he had done some really bad stuff that he wasn't even sorry about, he'd just claim you were trying to undermine his point.

Thankfully, over time, people did end up realizing he was pretty abusive, and neither ace nor pan exclusionism stuck around much within the community, and he eventually lost his power and voice. And it kinda gave me the perspective that, well. Of course not all exclusionists (of any kind- let it be against ace folk, transmasc folk, etc) are necessarily doing it as a redirection thing, but a lot of them are. You can quite literally prove some of the current transmasc hating people on this site having called for the death of minorities or having sent death threats to other folk, but if you do bring it up, they will often just try to redirect any accusation with "you are doing this because you [hate this group]" or "you are doing this because you're against [this one specific ideology]"

All in all, people who spend most of their time obsessively hating some other people who don't pose any major danger to them tend to just not be worth the time. Seeing exclusionist movements come and go, seeing the people leading them lose their relevancy once people come up to terms with the exclusionism being stupid, it's all reassuring. This will also pass. I hope that the few loud voices that wanna open massive divides between trans folk will, sooner than later, fall into the same irrelevancy than those that came before them have fallen into.

this is reassuring, thank you for this ask anon

Being part of a marginalized group does not give you a free pass to say bigoted things about another marginalized group.

The same system that oppresses intersex people oppresses perisex trans people. I don't understand why whenever intersexism is mentioned perisex people lose their shit..

These people act like the road to trans liberation is paved by stepping on the voices of intersex people, but if you don't care about us then you care about none of us. The same system oppressed us. Ignoring that is counteractive to any activism you try and do. There will be no liberation if we do not learn to fight for one another.

This sinking vessel has many holes, if you only care about the one under your feet, you will still drown.

people have lost sight of what "reclaiming" means I fear. calling someone else a slur in a way that translates to "I think you're stupid/a bad person/whatever" is not reclaiming that slur. using a term in the same way it has been historically used (i.e. to put people down, to reify a particular power dynamic, etc) is not "reclaiming". I don't care if you're part of the same group. you're just being an asshole

"can men be lesbians?" bestie in 100 countries women can't be lesbians is this really the most pressing issue rn

An an intersex nonbinary person i am constantly pissed off about the new ways there are to separate people by their genitals. How long would you have to talk to a "TME/TMA" defender until they say TME means AFAB.

this is exorsexism.

probably 5 seconds. they're really not hiding it well.

chicken jockey being the last possible 4chan post is fucking hilarious but there's so many amounts of comedic irony to it.

it's like a tyrant dying from falling over a medium sized brick wall. humiliating end.

why does every queer turn into a redpilled anti-woke far-right comedian fan the moment you tell them they're intersexist like 'stop inventing new terms 🤡🤡 why is everything a slur now 🤡🤡🤡 that one friend that's too woke 🤡🤡' like it's actually surreal how often it happens. i desperately want to know what makes them think that shits okay.

On the topic of trans men experiencing erasure and other problems that are not talked about, we should probably talk about when we actually DO get recognized and it's usually the white skinny trans men who get the most recognition. Which, is awesome and I'm not complaining because getting any recognition is a win. But we need to start also having our black poc, asian, native, hispanic, etc brothers in mind if you have not done so already. They have been erased from history even more than us. The same goes for the fat plus size men, the men who don't pass either because they can't or just don't want to (which is valid!), the men who can't transition or feel comfortable in their agab body (which is also valid), the men who are femme presenting, the men who are butch, men who are disabled etc etc.

Listen to when your black poc, asian, hispanic, native, etc men SPEAK. Listen to them. Listen to the men who are severely underrepresented in our community. Don't you DARE tell them to sit down or shut them out when speaking up about their experiences as trans men. If you see it shut it down immediately! That toxic shit is not safe in our spaces and we will not be quiet about it.

Keep our brothers safe!

we need to start teaching baby fags that it's okay to be fat and/or old because it's really starting to get dire out here

polyamory hate is so weird to me, because "having casual sex with multiple people at the same time" is considered like. a sign of being a cool person, until those people are like. fat or have blue hair and pronouns or whatever

Don’t a let a little thing like being a boy keep you from being a girl

"trans men transition because they hate women and femininity" I've literally never seen a group of men who felt so guilty and ashamed of their masculinity and being male or who loved and supported women and femininity as much as trans men in my life but ok. just throw away their support it's whatever

"Men in dresses are seen as bad, but women in pants aren't!"

is not the statement that "men can't be feminine but women can be masculine in society" that you think it is.

Let me introduce: women with facial hair. Full beards. Mustaches. Bald women. Bodybuilder women. Women with visible body hair. These aren't "more acceptable" than men in dresses.

Pants don't have a gendered association anymore, while dresses do. There is something to be said for that, but it certainly ISN'T "masculine women are acceptable now."

The average woman working in the healthcare industry cannot comprehend a transgender man existing.

Thank you so much for the post about why you defend trans men. I literally JUST got another death threat, and seeing that immediately after kept me sane. Thank you so much

I am so sorry you're getting death threats, it blows my mind that people think that it's ok to treat y'all like this.

Please take care of yourself first and foremost, and don't be afraid to take a step back from discourse if you need to.

"Nix, you're not even a trans man, why do you care so much about transandrophobia?" Because we're supposed to care about each other??? Because the whole point of the LGBT+ community isn't to section ourselves off into neat little groups; it's to stick up for each other and uplift the voices of marginalized identities?

Seriously, when I see people being bigoted towards trans guys, my blood boils. How can other queer people stand by while it happens, or even perpetuate it when we're supposed to be protecting each other?

Trans men are forgotten by the rest of the community far too often. It's disgusting that many people on here have gotten so comfortable shitting on y'all- people who are ALSO marginalized, who should know better.

You deserve a safe place with the rest of us, and you have a right to create whatever words you wish to use to discuss your oppression.

The trans men in my life had my back when I was being hurt and excluded, so I'm gonna have your backs in return.

I actually really hate how the "just call me a slur" joke went from being a critique of rainbow capitalism and faux inclusionism to being a way to make fun of nonbinary and aspec ppl literally just. having language.

"Joyfriend? Queerplatonic? Erm.. literally just call me a slur XD" shut the fuck upppp goddamn

We've all gotten just a bit too comfortable being jerks to strangers on the internet I think

Hello, here to remind people that this discourse is hurting nonbinary people as well, especially nonbinary transmascs.

Please include your nonbinary siblings in your advocacy, and don’t forget to uplift their voices as well. The assholes calling people “theyfabs” and denying the existence of transandrophobia aren’t just out to get trans men.

Half the posts I see are about "theyfab trender tme they/hes", they hate nonbinary people too.

Trans men are left out of the conversation far too often; please don't repeat the same mistake with a different group.

I wonder if the transfems that hate on trans men and transmascs realize that demonizing masculinity actually harms their masculine transfem sisters, as well as closeted/pre-E transfems as well.