Talking About Transmasc Issues Is Crazy Because If Your Post Gets Popular You'll Have Someone Say "your

people have lost sight of what "reclaiming" means I fear. calling someone else a slur in a way that translates to "I think you're stupid/a bad person/whatever" is not reclaiming that slur. using a term in the same way it has been historically used (i.e. to put people down, to reify a particular power dynamic, etc) is not "reclaiming". I don't care if you're part of the same group. you're just being an asshole

i love you bears i love you butches i love you trans men i love you transmascs i love you drag kings i love you masc queers of all persuasions the world is so much better and brighter for the existence of queer masculinity

If your argument only appears to work by erasing an individual's marginalized or majority identity, you fail to comprehend intersectionality. Intersections exist in privilege as well, not just marginalizations

My favorite thing is assigning privilege to people who don't have it so that I feel better about my own oppression. yessir nothing better than that

I think we need to sit down and talk about malgendering.

Not misgendering, malgendering.

We all know what misgendering means. Misgendering is when a trans person (or to be honest, even a cis person) has their gender denied to them in some fashion by implying, suggesting or outright stating that their gender is actually Something Else and not the one they identify as.

e.g. A trans woman being told she cannot attend a certain class because it's 'just for women'.

Malgendering is when the trans persons gender is not questioned or denied and may even be affirmed - but only in a context in which it can be used against them in some fashion (to make judgements on them as a person, to exclude them from something, to incite bigotry towards them etc).

e.g. That same trans woman taking her shirt off on a hot day and being arrested for indecent exposure.

This is misgendering;- "You're not a woman, you're a man." This is malgendering;- "Trans women are women, so obviously they exist to serve men."* *obvs it is also transmisogyny and all malgendering is transphobia.

But what you don't want to hear is that malgendering is a form of transphobia mainly used against trans masculine people and nonbinary people.

Most people recognise malgendering when it's;

Using the term 'theyfab' to ridicule an agender person or making jokes about how an agender they/them user looks (to you) to be a completely cis woman.

But you need to look out for how;

Malgendering is treating trans men like their transition has turned them into women-hating predators because of your own predjudices towards men/trans man were always inherently women-hating predators because maleness is what makes you those things not your actual thoughts, words and actions.

Malgendering is not listening to how trans masc people are marginalised 'because men aren't oppressed though' as if that's not ignoring a huge part of their identity (the being trans part) and how that works.

Malgendering is telling trans men 'this is just what it's like to be a man, people treat you like shit and you have to take it or not transition'.

Malgendering is insisting that any trans man who calls any attention to the fact that he is indeed, trans, and has/had female anatomy and faces misogyny due to being raised and still perceived (by transphobes) as a woman is misgendering himself, all other trans men and 'weaponising his AFABness'

All of this is transphobia. All of this is bigotry. This kind of predjudice and bullying doesn't magically become 'OK' once you find the 'right' group to do it to. You either want to end bigotry and transphobia and identity-specific targetted hate or you want to perpetuate it. But you can't call yourself a trans ally, or escape the bigotry allegations whilst malgendering people. And no you're not being sneaky by slipping in your hateful predjudice comments and actions whilst validating their gender.

Malgendering is transphobia.

The world is a better place with trans men in it. So never apologize for being one.

Don’t let this stupid discourse prevent you from transitioning! Don’t let people dedicated to misunderstanding you have any impact on how you live your life!

Yes, there will be assholes. I know it hurts more when the people who should support you are the ones attacking you- trust me, I’ve been there.

But at the end of the day, they’re not the ones living your life. They don’t know what’s best for you- you do.

It’s all up to you to decide; what being a man means to you, your relationship with masculinity, and what you want out of your transition.

There’s no wrong answer except for the one others try to force on you.

I can’t wait to see who you become!

Was doing some light reading, and came across this paper that reminded me of discourse from a few weeks back.

Anyone remember when that post was floating around about how "theyfab" was actually invented by transfems to make fun of trans men/enbies who use their AGAB as a shield to protect themselves against criticism? Basically leveraging "oh I'm just a female, I'm so innocent", strawman bullshit?

Then others chimed in about how it actually came from 4chan as a way to mock enbies who aren't "trans enough"?

Well, here's an actual academic source on the issue, to shove a knife in this whole argument, as I'm sure it'll pop up again:

...

Sure looks like the "transandrobros" were right once again

Straight from an actual academic paper

"Theyfab" is infact 4chan lingo made to shit on people "not doing trans right" and isn't some transfem counter culture buzzword like some people claim it to be

above all else a trans woman is a person. above all else a trans women is a woman who goes to the same grocery store as you and buys fruits in the same grocery cart as you and goes home and eats her dinner the same as you. above all else a trans woman is a woman who dresses like you do and talks the same way you do. above all else a trans woman is a woman who wants to be cared about the same way you want to be cared about and a trans woman is a woman who makes friends the same way you make friends. above all else you should care about trans women because they are people. treat her as such.

All those "we need more weird queers" posts pointing out how our community won't accept even the simplest of things but now we have to add trans men onto it.