The Reason Why Isobel Didn’t Go To Moonrise With The Harper’s Isn’t Because Of Some Thing Stupid

Posted a chapter to a fic last night that I edited and took different parts out for the next chapter. Immediately went to go check the next chapter and found the Google doc empty. Was SO mad until I remembered version history 🫠

That was almost a rip to 3k+ words. God is real, my dudes 🙏😂

She'd ask me to commit crimes and I'd say how many

I've been unbanned

The Shadowheart-obsessed cod god is back

Got shadow banned on cod, guess that means I have no choice now but to spend my weekend writing (as if I didn't already want to write anyway)

Reasons I love Shadowheart in no particular order:

Changing her hair bc she's confused and stressed and doesn't know how to separate herself from Shar other than turning her hair fucking WHITE (which is really funny if your Tav is a Selûnite with white hair cuz you just know she wants to be like you)

Bro she got white hair

WHITE HAIR

W H I T E

H A I R

She could definitely kick my ass and I would thank her for it afterwards

She got noodle arms in-game but she's stronger than Wyll, Astarion, Halsin, and Gale

She freed herself from a psycho cult like??? Is that not??? The most??? Badass???

Her dad is a fucking WEREWOLF

You walk up to her with something serious to talk about and she's just like ✨hello lover✨ with that cute little laugh when she realizes she sounds ridiculous

Also no one talks about how flexible she is like did you NOT see the way she bent her entire fuckin leg to pin Lae'zel to the ground???

She is a FREAK

Thank u for coming to my ted talk

Tav, the idiot who somehow managed to be cool enough for Baldur to save

Baldurs Gate 3 is so wild when you realise how vastly different the game is depending on if you choose Tav or Dark Urge

Dark Urge Playthrough: you’re the child of Bhaal, but unlike the Bhaalspawn, you are created solely by Bhaal himself. The first true child of Bhaal. The daughter of one of your father’s previous Bhaalspawn turns on you, attacks you and tries to kill you. In your dying state, she infects you with a parasite so that you’ll die an incredibly humiliating death, and become her slave.

By some miracle you end up on the same nautiloud ship as a Sharron Cleric who happens to to be carrying a gith artefact that contains Baldur himself. Baldur, who was made a mind flayer and is now calling himself the Emperor, realises there’s an incredibly powerful Bhaalspawn on the ship, and that he can use them to his advantage. The power you have will help him destroy Gortash. Of course he picks you, it makes so much sense.

On your way to Baldurs Gate you find out through an unsent letter that you used to be into Gortash. When you get to Baldurs Gate, the man you used to fuck turns out to be an absolute loser and with horror you realise he is still into you. It’s okay though, he’s very easy to kill.

You end up facing off against Orin, your niece, and kill her. Your father appears to you and offers you the chance to become his Slayer. On the high chance you turn him down, he murders you in front of your loved ones, and leaves you to rot.

Then Jergal, the actual Lord of the End of Everything, the original God of Death, who was the very being that turned you father into a God all that time ago, who’s been in your camp for weeks pretending to be this undead scribe called Withers, appears next to your corpse and brings you back to life, basically adopts you, states that he will protect you from Bhaal, and announces that as long as he lives, you will never die. You’re essentially immortal.

Tav Playthrough: you’re a random nobody that was unlucky enough to get kidnapped by Mind Flayers. The Emperor must pick one of the many idiots on the ship to be his pawn. He sees Tav and thinks “ugh, yeah this one will do”.

BG3 + Text posts: Shadowheart Edition

what is it with me and women with black/white hair and facial scars

Shadowheart, Cassandra: Loves smutty books, religious, can be religious leaders (and will not marry you sad), curt and no nonsense, easily annoyed

Ciri, Cassandra: Fights melee well (sorry Shadowheart), royalty/noble but rejects it, very long ass names, normie ears

Shadowheart, Ciri: were pawns for greater powers, bi/pan (book ciri was at least), brilliant green eyes, betrayed by an elf/drow, elven blood (ciri sorta does), weird about drowning (book ciri)

All three: loves smudgy, black eye shadows, softies underneath, traumatic childhoods, will backslap you like the lil bitch you are, lives in a very unsafe fantasy world, had nice male mentors

The trifecta big cvnt energy 🤌👸💃

PS. I was robbed of white hair Cassandra

It's less garbage actually because now it's ✨gay✨

Restarted a Mass Effect fic I posted like 10 years ago on ffnet, but on AO3. First person to find it was someone who like religiously followed the original.

I hope you don't have Tumblr, whoever you are. I'm so sorry you're about to read this garbage all over again 😂💀

would also 100% immediately drop to my knees and worship isobel

was very triggered she wasn't a romance option until I met aylin, then I felt guilty

Ultimately, Dame Aylin is the single most relatable character in BG3, because I, too, immediately after laying eyes upon the wonder that is Isobel Thorm, would rush to divest myself of my knightly accoutrements and the divine trappings of my lofty station, only to fall to my knees in yearning supplication, eternally awed by her wisdom and beauty.

ALSO ALSO:

Shadowheart not having her concept art tattoos is the fattest L I think the bg3 community has taken

She cares about changing her appearance after abandoning Shar enough to bleach her dang hair and change the style, having those tattoos would add so much delicious *angst* I think we all need